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Olawunmi Esan: Love Making Vs Good Ol’ No-Frills Sex



Love making is usually defined as the entirety of the sexual journey, which may begin way before the couple get to the bedroom.

From suggestive sexts, to dinner dates to sexy foreplay that involves a lot of attention to the body’s erogenous zones to the penetrative and orgasmic culmination of the entire process.

Love making is the whole nine yards, a full 3 to 7 course meal if you like.

Who wouldn’t love that?

Who wouldn’t want to be the recipient of such attention to detail?

Who wouldn’t prefer a 3-course meal to standing on the side walk to grab a quick burger or sharwama?

However, there is something to be said for good old ‘no frills’ sex. You know, that primal urge that comes upon you and makes you just want to ravish your spouse voraciously without standing on ceremony.

There’s something to be said for that fire that makes you want to grab him/her as soon as they walk through the door and get down to business.

My oh my! The intensity, the passion, the urgency of being taken against the wall (or wherever) because you couldn’t wait long enough to get to the room, the raunchiness, the moans, the heat, the sweat, the mind blowing ecstasy of giving in to that basic instinct.

I wouldn’t say that love making trumps good old quickies or vice versa. Both come in handy in different situations.

Love the feeling of knowing that your spouse invested their time and energy to elaborately make love to you and enjoy the journey. Also, be happy to know that you are capable of creating stirrings in the loins of your spouse that makes them succumb to the intense heat of the moment and lose themselves in the pleasure of being inside you.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Lucian Coman

Olawunmi Esan is a trained Psychotherapist, who specializes as a Sex Therapist & Coach. She helps couples take Sexual Intimacy from Routine to Mind-blowing and has worked with over 1,000 individuals and couples to help them enjoy more fulfilling Intimacy and Sex lives. She is a founding member of The African Association of Professional Counsellors (ANEPCO) and the Founder of The Thriving Family, a Counselling Organisation working to promote positive and well balanced family life. You can learn more about her work HERE Olawunmi is married with children.


  1. A Real Nigerian

    January 17, 2017 at 10:19 pm

    Please what is the point of this article?

    • funmilola

      January 17, 2017 at 11:38 pm

      I don’t know oooo???
      slow motion sex is better than fragrance sex….the article isn’t well explanatory and it’s very short too,like it was written in a rush.

    • funmilola

      January 17, 2017 at 11:40 pm

      gra gra*
      auto spell wahala

    • o

      January 18, 2017 at 12:00 am

      The article is a quickie.. Lol

    • o

      January 18, 2017 at 12:00 am

      To put you in the mood ??

    • DEE

      January 18, 2017 at 9:48 am


    • DAME

      January 18, 2017 at 9:56 am

      I swear…like i was waiting to see the whole point and i got to the end ad am like where is the content and lesson…hian

  2. Movici

    January 17, 2017 at 11:36 pm

    The point is that love making comes in various forms- quickie or non-quickie…… !!!!!!

    • keke driver

      January 18, 2017 at 9:09 am

      And you didn’t know that before now??

  3. Godfrey

    January 18, 2017 at 1:40 am

    Like the other comment above, this article is indeed a quickie, I was still looking into her eyes and wham bam, it’s done.

  4. Smackdown

    January 18, 2017 at 3:11 am

    Both are necessary didn’t even read the article lobatan!

  5. Big Tee

    January 18, 2017 at 5:17 am

    Hmmm…. I wanna lay beside you- I wanna lay inside you……(In Praiz”s voice)…….

  6. Girl

    January 18, 2017 at 7:21 am

    I believe the writer was doing a comparison between love making and quickies. Some people always want the whole ceremony and feel a bit used (for lack of a better word) when they get quickies instead. The writer points out the benefit of both. Naija pipu sha, they can criticise!!!!

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