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#BeInspired Mondays with IK: On Accidents, Loss & Getting Back on Your Feet

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An accident is defined as an unexpected or unintentional event whose occurrence demands emergency response. Inasmuch as these events are unplanned and unprepared for, one can prepare his or her response to them.

However, through information gathering and close observation, we can foresee the occurrence of certain accidents. Examples include: knowing that a hurricane will occur at a certain time of the year, that snow will come in winter and it can be dangerous, that flood will come during the Nigerian rainy season, and that cerebrospinal meningitis is a seasonal disease and its occurrence is inevitable, albeit manageable.

What then is needed is adequate preparation and planning for our response as these events will still take us unaware when they occur.

One thing associated with accidents is loss and that is what I’m writing about today.

Over the weekend, I experienced loss (not related to #BBNaija oh!) and it hit me bad. It affected my work and my planned activities for that day and beyond, and while I allowed myself to completely let the emotion of pain flow, I understood that this is part of life and I had to get my head up. I tried as much as possible to achieve all that I needed to that day and I can say that I did really great.

When loss is experienced, the 5 stages of grief should be allowed to flow:

First, we Deny the loss. I found myself refusing to believe what happened over the weekend, considering the fact that I was so sure it wasn’t going to happen.

Next is Aggression. It may not be very physical, but one will definitely get angry when reality begins to set in.

The third is Bargaining. Over the weekend I was asking myself: “What if you hadn’t gone there in the first place?” “What if you had not trusted someone so much?” “What if you had decided to go to the other place you were invited?” and so on and so forth.

The fourth is Depression. It may not be clinical or chronic, but you will definitely find yourself in deep negative thought after a loss. Sometimes it gets so bad you begin to rationalise by saying “why do bad things happen to good people?” forgetting the good things that have happened to you in the past.

This is also where we tend to dwell on the pain of not having that thing/person from that time henceforth.

What is very important going through all this is the support of family/friends. No matter what, if someone loses something, big or small, try to show sympathy and care. Trust me, it will be much appreciated.We cannot take away the importance of family, friendships and even community involvement when people are going through challenges. It will help them overcome the challenges.

We cannot take away the importance of family, friendships and even community involvement when people are going through challenges. It will help them overcome the challenges.

The final stage is Acceptance. This is where you decide to move on and begin to plan how you will continue your existence in light of whatever has happened.

The stages may not follow each other as listed, but you’ll go through these stages. Just let it flow and try to keep your head up. It is difficult but not impossible.

What is coming will come, but one has to decide beforehand how to respond to it. In the end, accidents, loss, grief are part of this experience called life and we must decide to keep moving forward when they happen.

Family, as well as friendship, are an integral and important aspect of life. Inasmuch as it is difficult to find who to trust, one cannot successfully live in seclusion, it will tell on you. Trust me, I’ve tried it and it was a near disaster.

P.S: I wrote this because I couldn’t even write on anything else today. I hope this helps you and I. Cheers!

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