I recently went through a breakup. And while it wasn’t one of those ones where I crumbled and tossed hope to the wind, it was complicated, abrupt enough that for the first time in four years, I felt empty. After getting over my sadness, the “problem” soon went from how I was in my mid-twenties and “manless” (not my words) to how best I could utilize my time till I met whoever was best suited for me and vice versa.
Chiamaka Okoro’s 27, Single, Saved, & Satisfied came at a good time, and it’s not just because it shares a relatable perspective from a single lady in a society that shames singleness.
I love that the book explores the concept of wholeness while being single—a construct very few people care to grasp. If you’re new to the wholeness while being single movement, I’d explain it as self-discovery, finding and chasing purpose, and expending mental, psychological and physical energy on self-development—all while being single.
A million and one people preach the importance of getting your act together before jumping the broom. Would you like another person’s crappy baggage in marriage? No? Then why aren’t you working on getting rid of yours? The point is not to spend your time waiting on and searching for the right person. Go out and do something mind-boggling. Make yourself useful in the society. Don’t wallow in self-pity.
Self-love is something else the author, Okoro, thinks everyone should practice. How can you love others when you don’t love yourself? Of course it’s great that you reach out and make people feel wonderful, but this “goodness” has to begin with you choosing to see the good in you. How can you give love when you have none within? Remember the scripture (Matthew 22:39) telling you to love your neighbor as you love yourself? That’s the bible preaching this, too.
Amongst several other things she shares about the single life and how to make the best of it, I was most drawn to her reiteration about being unique. She writes: “We have unique gifts and assignments, but many are [so] lost in copying or envying what others are doing that they forget to walk in their own purpose.” Everyone has a different race to run and just because friend A seems to have everything doesn’t mean you should jump on friend A’s train.
Tying her points together is the overlying message of salvation and the importance of building a relationship with the Trinity. According to her, mind renewal (in Christ) is extremely important during singleness and even after marriage. “Being born again is one step to becoming whole, and another step is doing away with old thoughts, beliefs and life patterns that are in contradiction to your new identity.”
I believe God has made us in his image and as such, we are gods. Once we connect with our roots, our eyes are opened to a world of possibilities which in turn lead to having a satisfying life as a “whole” single lady or man and later, God willing, as a married person.
Chiamaka Okoro’s 27, Single, Saved & Satisfied offers practical advise and a relatable understanding of living whole in singleness. Are you still single (or married) and need to understand the concept of wholeness while building a relationship with God? Get a copy of 27, Single, Saved, & Satisfied from the OkadaBooks store now! It could change your life.
Chiamaka Onu-Okpara is a freelance editor with an absolute love for anything weird. When she isn’t wading through punctuation errors, she binge-watches cartoons and writes speculative fiction.
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