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Vanessa Onyema: If He Wants A DNA Test, Let Him Have It

Vanessa Onyema

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During my service year, I worked at a District Hospital. It was one drama to the other everyday, and I got to learn that the hardest people to deal with are people residing in the rural areas.

On a fateful morning as I prepared for my CDS I heard a knock on my door. I opened up to see a young girl standing outside.

Yes?”

“Are you the Corper that works in the lab?” she asked.

“Yes I am”
“Please I want to run a test it is urgent.”

“I don’t work in the morning, it’s my CDS and I am late.” I said

Please help it is very urgent. I need an urgent PT test.

I decided to run the test and it was positive. I rendered my usual congratulations to her.

As I locked the lab, a motorcycle parked in front of it and a young man got off it.

He spoke to the girl before he approached me. I told him the nature of the result and congratulated him. He asked for an audience with me in private.

“Corper please don’t be angry I want to ask you something” He said in Igbo.

He narrated how he had only met the girl last week and this week she said she was pregnant for him. I almost laughed, but due to professional courtesy I asked if he was sure of what he was saying. I called the girl and she didn’t refute his statement.

With all this back and forth going on, my second boss came to work and I keyed him into what was going on. He questioned the girl and she said yes she met him last week and he slept with her without protection. We asked her if she had any other sexual partner she said no.

My boss flared up at this time and threatened to call the guy if she doesn’t say the truth. She finally admitted to getting pregnant for a ‘small boy’ as she called it. According to him, he was unfit to be a father, and she thought it was only ideal to say it belongs to this one.

I was completely ashamed of the girl and her morals. We called the guy and she confessed in front of him. The guy wasn’t even bothered, he just thanked us, because he knew it could not be possible – but maybe because the girl thought that since he was a motorcycle rider and illiterate, he had no common sense. He told the girl she was on her own and sped off.

This wasn’t the first time something similar has happened at the hospital.
Some voice out their doubts, some simply carry the good news. Some don’t even need to question if it is theirs.

In cases where a child’s blood group don’t match the parents’  during urgent transfusion, we waive it… because it is not a definitive answer or a determining factor. It is also not our business professionally, so we tell them to buy blood – ruling that they are unfit for donation.

You see, in this life, men do a lot of things that make you question if they killed their humanity switch. They could cheat, lie, break your heart to a hundred pieces, but in all these, most of them take responsibility for their actions.
Women, on the other hand, do a lot of unspeakable things; this is why the need for a DNA test has been red flagged.

If a man questions something, stalling only proves his doubt. Sometimes it is okay to let them have their way, and if in the end there is nothing to hide, he will feel guilty for not trusting you.

Trust is 100% vital in relationships, so if he questions the paternity of his children, it is only normal as a woman to be angry for his mistrust; but as long as you have nothing to hide, let him do it. It is his money, and at the end… his guilt to deal with – when he is proved wrong.

Nothing is as important as your peace of mind. Dragging it further will only create a rift.

In a family where the two parties understand and trust each other completely, are sincere to each other, love themselves regardless and put each other first, the issue of a DNA test will never arise.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime| Scott Griessel

13 Comments

  1. JustBeingHonest

    June 27, 2017 at 3:09 pm

    Well put. Good one Vanessa.

  2. Physio Tinu Olarewaju

    June 27, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    As a physiotherapist, I have witnessed first hand the atrocious lies spouses tell each other when it relates to health. Even when it comes to issues of life of the children. they have no chill. If a simple test would shed more light I completely agree.

    In tiwa’s savage voice…if I start to talk, the thing wey my eyes don see e no go end…

    The most baffling one I recently witnessed had to do with HIV and AIDS. Both mother and father were positive and had refused to tell the other one and were sleeping with each other using condoms. I was perplexed. How do you as a spouse agree to sleep with your spouse for YEARS with a condom? Hian!!!

    • Vee

      June 28, 2017 at 12:04 pm

      How do you as a spouse agree to sleep with your spouse for YEARS with a condom?

      If you both decide that condom is your preferred choice of birth control.
      In most normal families this has nothing to do with trust

  3. DNA Saga

    June 27, 2017 at 3:41 pm

    This DNA issue is still on? Well a man cheats, does all he likes, a woman tries to cheat too and unfortunately she gets the big belly. Nothing ever says the man is guilty, but the woman is guilty once the big belly pops up. Then comes the DNA question, that only the woman has to deal with. She has to bear the shame and be the only guilty party.

    • Olu

      June 27, 2017 at 8:34 pm

      Is that then a perfect excuse or reason to lie about the paternity of a child?

      Simple question o

  4. Puzzles

    June 27, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    I concur.

    Too many men have been trapped into marriages over children they are not responsible for. 2face babymama turned pastor’s wife/motivational speaker did that but she was found out.

    Besides, i see no reason why a woman should drag this DNA matter if her hands are clean.

    If i get married and have a child tomorrow, and husband demands to have a DNA test, i would be hurt because it implies he doesn’t trust him. Nevertheless, i would allow him do the test. No need to drag matter if my hands are clean.

    • Be happy

      June 27, 2017 at 11:56 pm

      I thought both her children are for 2 face? Please clarify?

    • Puzzles

      June 28, 2017 at 2:46 pm

      There’s the link, @BeHappy

      punchng.com/dont-want-girls-make-past-mistakes-sunmbo-adeoye/

  5. Black girl living in Nigeria....

    June 27, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    If you have nothing to fear, let him do it. Don’t be hurt by his actions. That’s what this life had turned men into.

  6. Lizzie

    June 27, 2017 at 5:59 pm

    Heaven knows no fury like a woman’s scorned.
    Women can keep secrets!!!
    Let all man have a source of lively hood in case one wants out the other can care for the kid/kids

  7. john

    June 27, 2017 at 7:51 pm

    I love this article and the writer..this is the the type of article I love to read..nice one lady..atleast itbis good to know some women are still reasonable and logical..even though they are in the minority

  8. Abominable snow girl

    June 28, 2017 at 3:14 am

    What now happens in the cases where a child was mistakenly switched at birth unbeknownst to both parties?
    Clarify first. Don’t be so quick to shout “Wolf, wolf.

    • Jennifurbond

      June 28, 2017 at 12:29 pm

      Lol… Too much Philippine movies… Abegi???

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