I was watching a video on YouTube by Patricia Bright, a popular UK based vlogger and here’s what I wanted to share. She spoke about always being the “ugly friend” in her secondary school days and never really being noticed by boys. Boys would come to her so she could help give a good word to her friend about them, and this bothered her a lot at first, but then she eventually got used it. She got used to the fact that she wasn’t attractive enough according to society’s standards. She no longer cared and she loves herself for it now, because it has made her the confident and successful woman she is now.
Personally, I don’t subscribe to the word “ugly” because I think we’re all made in God’s image, therefore we’re all beautiful in one way or the other. I believe that “ugly” is society’s way of limiting our minds. Beauty has no one-size-fits-all. It has no skin tones, shapes or sizes; it just is.
Unfortunately, we live in a sad world and your outward appearance determines how people treat you sometimes. You might not be what society deems as beautiful and this can take a toll on anyone, but here a few reasons why I believe you actually have more things working for you than against you. It all depends on your perspective.
Physical beauty has no correlation with self-confidence. A lot of people who you consider beautiful aren’t confident in themselves. They might get all the attention but something from within is still searching for acceptance from people. So don’t beat yourself up about your appearance and focus on how you see yourself. The world loves confident people, and as long as you are confident in who you are, people won’t pay attention to your looks; they just feel and enjoy your energy. Think about that person in your life who isn’t particularly the best looking, but you love having them around you because of their presence.
Develop a Thick Skin
In order to thrive in this world you have to get used to falling and dusting yourself back up. Feeling like you aren’t good-looking and being constantly ignored by the world can be daunting, but it should develop you. All the bullying and name-calling becomes your norm; turn that into your power. Learn to own and accept your flaws so it doesn’t faze you when people call you names. Let it strengthen you, because guess what? We all have flaws. Think of models that were bullied a lot because of their appearance, but are very successful today because of those looks.
Focus on Your Strengths
When you know you’re not working with much physically, you have to dig within yourself and find what works for you. It could be trying to be a bit funnier so people could actually notice you more, or learning a skill, or partaking in an activity you love. Nothing comes to you easily, so you have to have an edge. Be a bit more driven and ambitious to stand out.
No time for Drama
Have you ever watched Love and Hip-hop? You see the most gorgeous exotic girls crying over a guy you would not give the time of day. They are so beautiful, yet think so little of themselves and put up with the most crap from men. We all know that girl who is very good looking but is always caught up in boy drama – worrying about what he thinks of her, how he treats her and if he loves her. They spend so much of their time on the superficial they don’t know self worth even if it hits them in the face. As the “ugly friend” you don’t have the time to put up with relationship drama because you know who you are and what you’re worth. You don’t seek validation from others because it was never there to seek; you are your own validation.
Work on Your Personality
It’s not a secret that the most beautiful people in the world tend to be the most boring. Sometimes you can’t blame them because everywhere they go that is what is being noticed and complimented. So it’s only normal to feel like that is your only asset and focus greatly on it. When you effortlessly attract a lot of attention you don’t feel like you need to do a lot. You can literally go on a date and not say anything, all you have to do is be cute and you’d still get a call back the next day. But as someone who isn’t the most attractive out of a bunch you have to work on what you actually bring to the table such as your personality, your intellect or your presence which are things that will take you very far in life and make you distinctive.
You are a Late Bloomer
Have you ever gone through Facebook and seen those people who were supposedly the cool people now looking all washed up and tired? You wonder, “how did that happen”? As a late bloomer while everyone was blooming you were constantly being unnoticed but then here you are blossoming like a beautiful sunflower and nobody ever saw it coming.
The Glow Up
These days, no one is really ugly anymore. No matter what you used to look like there are always ways to enhance your beauty, so you can feel just as confident as the next person.
You really don’t need to spend your time thinking about what the world thinks of your looks because we’re all going to get old and wrinkly at some point, so you need more to offer. We all have limited time to make an impact to the world so focusing only on your beauty is very counterproductive. There will always be someone slimmer, taller, darker or lighter than you so you might as well work with what you have and learn to love yourself because you’re going to be in this body for a pretty long time.
Love & Light xo
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