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HaroldWrites: Life Lessons on Love & Choice From Tyler Perry’s Movie ‘Acrimony’

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I saw Tyler Perry’s latest movie, “Acrimony” recently and by the time the movie was done, I did not realize I was still on my seat for another five minutes. What was I waiting for? A post credit scene (no thanks to Marvel Cinematic Universe for teaching me how to be patient after a movie is done). What did I expect from Acrimony’s post credit scene? An assurance from Tyler that, what I had just witnessed was purely fiction, and not based on true events. Of course, that assurance never came; it did not need to. I was already convinced that, I had seen this movie before. In real life. Typical Tyler. He takes you on an emotional rollercoaster through his movies, exposing to you to things that give you a sense of déjà vu.

The thing about Tyler’s movies is that, you can always relate to either the plot, a character’s struggle, a dialogue or a theme in the movie. You sit through his movies, thinking to yourself, “this is real life on screen. This is me. Or my friend. Or my family. Or my next door neighbour.” Acrimony is no different.

Acrimony is the story of a young couple who went through thick and thin in pursuit of the male partner’s lifelong dream. The young and naive woman in the relationship made difficult and painful sacrifices for her man, despite the warnings of her family. She made her sacrifices out of love, belief and unshakable resolve. All she ever wanted was to see her man happy and successful. Her man, on his part, seemed like all she thought he was. He had drive, focus and determination. And he appeared to love her in the same measure.

Until it became clear that, everything was not the way it seemed.

And then came rage, hatred, pain, regret, violence, revenge.

One question I kept asking myself after seeing the movie was, was the woman, Melinda wrong in reacting the way she did after her painful split from her husband, Robert? I mean, this woman practically staked her life and dreams for her husband’s. She was ostracized by her family for sticking with him. After eighteen fruitless years of waiting and hoping and wishing that everything would be fine, she finally reached her breaking point. She had given and given and given and she could not give anymore. Not because she did not want to, but because she could not afford to. She literally had nothing left to give. No money, no motivation, no energy, no love. And what did she get from her husband in those eighteen years of giving? Anguish. Despair. False hope. Pain. Heartbreak.

But then, how much responsible was Robert for all the troubles Melinda had to go through? Was Robert responsible for any of Melinda’s woes at all? Or was he simply misunderstood? Was Melinda a nutcase?

Acrimony got me reflecting on life, love and choices. Hereunder are the top ten lessons I learnt from the movie:

1.    Sieve what advice you adhere to, even if it’s genuine & comes from people who love you dearly. Not every good advice is good advice.

2.    The best people to consult when you want to resolve a conflict in your relationship are yourself & your partner. No  one knows your relationship better than both of you.

3.    Love unconditionally but love with reason.

4.   Two perfect people may not be perfect together.

5.   Anger is a choice. And it is never a good one.

6.   When you are angry, the best thing to do is nothing. Don’t even think. Just let the anger subside.

7.   Social media does not need to know everything that happens in your relationship. Don’t hide the fact that you’re in a relationship, but as much as possible, keep the things that happen therein, private.

8.   Learn your partner’s love language, else, you’ll labour in vain to provide acts of service and gifting gifts when your partner only understands words of affirmation and quality time. This could put so much strain on your relationship.

9.   Swallow your pride and make amends as soon as possible, irrespective of who is wrong. There is no medal for “Best Partner Who Can Stay Angry For the Longest Time.”

10.   Trust, once broken, can never be regained.

Have you seen the movie? What did you make of it? Do you agree with the foregoing lessons? Add yours in the comment section.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

HaroldWrites is an extraterrestrial who uses words like floccinaucinihilipilificate and antidisestablishmentarianism to keep his readers under his spell, yearning for more. Visit his blog at http://www.haroldwrites.com and stalk him on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram @haroldwrites

23 Comments

  1. Tito

    May 11, 2018 at 4:43 pm

    Your advice is highly skewed. Bye.

    • Nito

      May 11, 2018 at 6:29 pm

      Please tell us why you think so?

      For me, I agree with you Harold. I also think that Melinda was responsible for most of what happened to her even though it was unfortunate that it happened that way. She had a choice to react differently to Robert’s actions and that ultimately cost her loads(her life, happiness, youth and womb). Robert had issues too and suffered a lot too because of it (happiness, youth and losing a leg), he should have left after the first incident but I am thorn about him not going ahead with marrying Melinda in the first place seeing that it was his actions that caused the reaction from Melinda but in hindsight and without any emotional attachment He should have run far away from her after noticing her fury. If someone shows you who they are the first time believe them.

      I think Melinda had great anger issues tending towrds being a nutcase while Robert was a lethargic, selfish, unrealistic dreamer who cheated and had no regard for others.

      I really like to know what others think too.

  2. Not the bestmovie

    May 11, 2018 at 5:27 pm

    I’m sorrry,that’s the worse movie ever produced by Tyler perry.Production has improved.I feel Tarajis talents were wasted.Thats my opinion.Bye

    • Linda

      July 30, 2018 at 8:29 pm

      So why the Fk you commenting
      You prefer your certified quantity zero quality trash Nollywood movies

  3. Tinu

    May 11, 2018 at 6:18 pm

    I wouldn’t blame Melinda for how she acted. She gave EVERYTHING! For 18 years she was feeding him and footing all his bills. Lets not forget that he emotionally abused her. Not talking to her, being ungrateful for all she did. She was done! His money came and he couldn’t go back and give her the life he promised her. Went on to the next best thing. Rubbish!

    I can totally relate. I’ve been married for 2 years and i’m done!!! Married to someone that keeps malice, never says he’s sorry, very stingy with his money but wants to spend all my money. Lame in bed. Verbally abusive. Uses my weaknesses to hurt me with his words, After all i;ve done for him. I can’t get a divorce and i feel like i.m in prison. Everyone thinks he’s perfect. When we’re out, he holds my hands and gives me hugs and when we’re back home, the malice continues. Doesn’t see anything good about me. Not romantic, no nice words. Always tearing me down with his words. I had to start looking in the mirror and telling myself stuff like i’m beautiful, i,m smart. Destroying my self esteem, Imagine! Mschewwwww!!!

    • Source

      May 11, 2018 at 6:40 pm

      So sorry about what you are going through. I hope for the best for you. Now to the movie, even though his actions warranted an extreme reaction, Melinda’s anger meant that she reacted extremely and lost majorly as well. She divorced him not him doing the divorcing, She had every right to be entitled and he did stick with her without cheating again even after knowing that she wasn’t capable of giving birth again. He gave her more money than she was entitled to (I agree that no amount of money could have paid back what she had lost however she should have moved on). He didn’t move on to the next best thing he moved on and she should have too. Right or wrong we ultimately live by the consequences of our actions, one of them died and the other lost a leg. Actions, reaction and consequences. Choose and react wisely.

    • John

      May 11, 2018 at 7:23 pm

      Yen yen yen yen

      Tell that to the birds

      AND look at the way you are castigating and blaming your husband online.
      Such bile

      And you want to play the innocent victim and be pited.

      I actually took pity on the poor guy for having to listen to such vile mouth at home everyday.

      Insulting his manhood and what not

      If I investigate wella ..You are having an affair.

      What he must be going true

      If you are tired of the MARRIAGE as you claimed.

      ABEG , TAKE A WALK AND DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON YOUR WAY OUT.

      Or wait for your fellow fish brains to come and tell you awww…be strong..call this number if you need help. ..Don’t be afraid..your happiness is paramount. ..do this bla bla nla all that rubbish

      All na wash ..no be nigerian women again..but continue.

    • mimi

      May 11, 2018 at 7:46 pm

      goodness?‍♀️, not one good thing to say about him. Didn’t you guys date? What were you doing during the dating/courtship? What kind of discussions were you having? What kind of observations were you making? why did you marry him?. There are so many cases like this these days and I just wonder, 80% though went into the marriage knowing these but in denial. Some people never listen to advice on their partner before marriage.

      Men should do better, women should do much more better. use your brain, it’s there for a reason.

    • Chynwa

      May 11, 2018 at 7:50 pm

      Forgive me for sounding a bit insensitive but…you chose to marry this man. Did he not show these signs before? I don’t think it’s fair to now come and wash him outside ma #mytwocents

    • mimi

      May 11, 2018 at 7:55 pm

      And what do you mean by ‘after all I’ve done for him’?. Statements like that irks me, I’m sorry. That kinda statement would push anyone to resentment if it’s being heard. What exactly have you done? What?what is that huge, unthinkable, never-seen-before thing?. To dey siregun(a yoruba word) keeps people bitter.
      I’d advice you both go for counseling, if no way forward let each other be.

    • A

      May 12, 2018 at 12:22 pm

      @Tinu, I can totally relate with you, and your need for venting anonymously. At some point in my marriage, I was going to burst because I had so much going on, and I wondered who will believe me, who will listen objectively. I can imagine that like me, you ask yourself how you got here. I know I saw signs in courtship, but I loved this guy so deeply. I thought his criticizing everything about me was him trying to help me be a better person. I thought it was fine for me to be the giver, the romantic, the peacemaker. I felt it was me growing up. Older women I sought counsel from told me men will always be babies, men aren’t perfect, so I should just keep doing things that make him happy and won’t make me upset. Well, now I wonder if I took good counsel.

      Please know you are not alone, and that there are women like you who don’t want to talk simply because of the kind of responses you have got today. Decide for yourself what is best for you and do you. It will all be fine.

    • XYZ

      May 13, 2018 at 9:21 am

      Hi Tinu….. So sad to hear this. I have a question? Why did you marry him? Were there signs? If you can share your experience, it help people. Well…. Me.

    • Linda

      July 30, 2018 at 8:38 pm

      Blah blah blah cry me a river you didn’t see all this while dating and fcuking him prior to I do. Pre marital sex blinds you init

  4. Tinu

    May 11, 2018 at 9:31 pm

    Woooow!!! So much negativity. I didn’t ask anyone to pity me or hold my hands. John and Mimi and the rest of y’all. I needed an avenue to rant and vent and that’s what I did. Anonymously typing on a blog is not washing my husband outside. John is such a airhead. Not having an affair, never have. never will. what did I do for him? paid his rent, bought him his car, stayed with his broke ass before he got a job while paying his bills etc etc because I believed in him and his future why am I even responding?

    Comments like yours are the reason people keep quiet about emotional and verbal abuse.

    I actually pity you.

    • Sheri

      May 11, 2018 at 10:03 pm

      I’m so sorry you had to read those horrible comments from those up there. We need to do better as “human beings”. Attacking people without know their background after she has just poured out her heart, is not the way to go. Smh.

    • mimi

      May 11, 2018 at 10:45 pm

      I’m not saying people should be quiet about abuse. If you can’t do a favour and let it be, then don’t bother. Doing a favour because you expect something in return would only get you disappointed and hurt. This thought of ‘after all I’ve done’ is one of the things that make people stay in abusive relationships. So you saying you married him cos of your ‘investments’?, okay. Maybe you can make more investments towards a change in character, or invest in a divorce. And of course from my comments, you could only get defensive. Choices you make are yours, you owe it to yourself to do better.

    • Krasavitsa

      May 12, 2018 at 8:23 am

      @mimi. You need to learn empathy. Sometimes just keeping quiet when someone who’s hurt is venting is a form of empathy. You probably also have to learn to be diplomatic. There’s a way to pass a message across without hurting people. Granted we are responsible for our decisions and we should bear the consequences of our actions, you don’t say that to someone who’s clearly hurting and from the look of things, may not have a strong support system (her venting anonymously online is a pointer to that). The lady didn’t ask for a pity party or for words of encouragement but I’m very sure she doesn’t need salt rubbed in her wounds. You don’t always have to be the “voice of reason”, it’s ok to be silent and let people figure out their issues on their own – especially if you don’t know who they are or the possible hell they’ve been through.

    • John

      May 12, 2018 at 10:44 am

      Yawnnnn

      Don’t pity me …I pity that poor man that called himself your husband.

      The only verbal and emotional abuse I see is the one you are giving him both online and offline.

      If you are abusing him online..I wonder the damage you are doing offline.

      I hope the man wakes up and divorce your ass before you stab him.

  5. Swan008

    May 12, 2018 at 12:57 am

    Why can’t you get a divorce? Your emotional, mental, and physical stability are way more important than enduring any form of abuse (which will eventually manifest in the physical).

    Ultimately, I wish you God’s grace in all that concerns you.

  6. Allwell

    May 12, 2018 at 10:22 am

    I wonder how some people reason. For goodness’ sake @Tinu is obviously hurt from a marriage that has gone differently from what she envisioned. The best thing to do is ignore the comment if you have nothing positive to say. I didn’t see anywhere in her comment where she exposed her husband or herself. We do not know who she is. So are we going to take away her right to vent her anger harmlessly on the internet?
    please let us always guide our words and stop commenting from an overfilled belly.

  7. J

    May 12, 2018 at 11:15 am

    @john, pls keep quiet if uve got nuffin good to type. U comment like an ancient antelope.

  8. chinwe

    May 12, 2018 at 2:21 pm

    It’s a pity how some people hide behind the screen and just type… mimi you might be in the perfect relationship or you might not be in any at the moment but please, that should not be the reason for us to be this insensitive to the feelings of others. I believe we can pass a message across without being hurtful. For John, you need to cool down. As long as you aren’t in that marriage, you can’t judge. Tinu, please seek help before it gets complicated. I am not an advocate of silently absorbing things and hoping it will get better. It can deteriorate faster than you can manage it. See the news on marriages all over the place… be careful, be wise…

  9. Mamamia

    May 13, 2018 at 1:36 am

    Is this a new movie? If it is, I didn’t see any spoiler alert for those of us who are yet to see it.

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