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“Things No One Ever Told Us About Marriage” – WATCH Episode 8 of NdaniTV’s Real Talk

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On this episode of Real Talk, Yinka Oladiran discusses expectations versus reality in marriage with Yemisi Odusanya (Sisi Yemmie), Adenike Adebayo-Esho and Banke Akinsunlola.

Watch and comment below.

14 Comments

  1. @theindulgenceplace

    August 30, 2018 at 2:29 am

    Basic basic….seee what no one told us esp women is that marriage hardly benefits women. So you need that extra support, extra care, kindness to go through the marriage. Not a stingy man that thinks you don’t need this or that, not a bully, not a mummy’s boy who can’t make decisions without external parties, def not a workaholic but someone who genuinely cares for you. During pregnancy, childcare, career development(which is generally hard for women in Nigeria) , in laws, women’s health, you need a strong and kind husband.
    Going into marriage without knowing or seeking a kind man-ONE CHANCE.

  2. @theindulgenceplace(black soap)

    August 30, 2018 at 3:04 am

    Basic basic….seee what no one told us esp women is that marriage hardly benefits women. So you need that extra support, extra care, kindness to go through the marriage. Not a stingy man that thinks you don’t need this or that, not a bully, not a mummy’s boy who can’t make decisions without external parties, def not a workaholic but someone who genuinely cares for you. During pregnancy, childcare, career development(which is generally hard for women in Nigeria) , in laws, women’s health, you need a strong and kind husband.
    Going into marriage without knowing or seeking a kind man-ONE CHANCE

    • HOPE

      August 30, 2018 at 9:42 am

      Couldn’t have said it better. Choosing a partner is about your potential partner’s core (who he truly is at the foundation), his principles. One needs to dig deep and forget aesthetics. My husband is all that you mentioned, I am even amazed at how an Igbo man, born and raised in Nigeria turned out as a TRUE PARTNER in all aspect. Especially in career development. There is nothing like having a partner who pushes and wanting you to get to your maximum potential even if it means being a stay at home dad for a bit. God bless great husbands and fathers.

  3. Jay

    August 30, 2018 at 9:18 am

    I’ve always loved this particular show on Ndani but I don’t know if it’s just me…this season something is a little off. The topics seem vague sometimes and the questions to kick start the conversation aren’t that good to foster rich dialogue. Sometimes the topic will be good but the questions that follow aren’t that great which causes a slight deviation from the topic being addressed. I think they should work on asking questions that are SIMPLE but still THOUGHT PROVOKING and related to the topic.

    Overall Well done Ndani.

  4. Tee

    August 30, 2018 at 9:25 am

    You have summed it up perfectly @theindulgenceblacksoap now that I am unhappily married the one thing I wish for my daughter above all things is not to marry the wrong person. So I make it my lifelong duty to not pressure her into marriage and to teach her that it is better to be happily single than to be unhappy married. Marriage does NOT complete you. You cannot find happiness in it. You have to be happy, whole etc on your own before you can Handle the pressures of marriage and be happy in it.

    • Nan

      August 30, 2018 at 9:44 am

      I’m so sorry to hear that. I pray it works out for you and things gets better between you and your husband.

    • Viv

      August 30, 2018 at 10:58 am

      Amennnnnnn…… really pray things get better for her??????Hugs ?

    • Bobosteke

      August 30, 2018 at 2:39 pm

      The matter of fact way you stated that you are unhappily married just made me imagine all you must of gone through to get to that point.

      I honestly wish you happiness in life, wherever you find it. May it not be lived vicariously. May it be something that happens to you directly and touches you so compassionately, you feel it in your very bones…

    • Wendy

      August 30, 2018 at 3:09 pm

      But which is better? Unhappily single or unhappily married? It’s a part of the discourse we leave out.

      Sometimes people are unhappy being single so much so they’ll take the anticipated joy from achieving some life milestones – especially childbearing – via marriage.
      Now the deterrent I always share with people to dissuade them from doing this is my sister who married a man so terrible he wouldn’t even give her a child.

      I pray your marriage gets better! And I pray your joy is complete.

    • Eka

      August 30, 2018 at 5:10 pm

      Wendy, happiness is not a destination you drive to by saying once I attain whatever it is you wish to attain you will be happy. Unhappy singles have not learned acceptance and contentment with their life situation. I’m 39. I’ll not marry until I’m a gazillion percent sure. I have a life purpose and by God’s grace I’m working it. God has not cheated me or deprived me just ‘cos I’m still single. Perspective counts.

    • BeenThere!

      August 30, 2018 at 7:02 pm

      Those who are unhappily single rarely become happily married. The challenge is that, sometimes, there is only a subtle difference between manifestations of natural yearnings for marriage and desperate dissatisfaction. As I often tell myself sha, to thyself be true!!!

    • BeenThere!

      August 30, 2018 at 7:08 pm

      Just to add that, as a single woman, one can still live happily with unmet natural yearnings for marriage but when there is desperate dissatisfaction about one’s single state, they ANY alternative seems better!!

      Unfortunately, as beautiful and fulfilling as marriage can POTENTIALLY be, it can never cure a one’s inner dissatisfaction with one’s life and existence!!!

    • Rynyx

      August 30, 2018 at 10:40 pm

      Take a big e-hug sis, I know the feeling. I hope you find some semblance of happiness soon, life is too short to be unhappy for too long.

    • Esther O

      August 31, 2018 at 2:39 am

      What I have also come to realize is, it’s not solely being married to the wrong personbut what individual is willing to do to make a partnership/marriage work. Marriage is all mental
      If both are willing to water their grass, not always think it’s greener on the other side(comparing and admiring other people marriages)
      The «wrong » person can be the right person, if individually chooses to be the change they want to see first, instead of just looking, expecting the other person to automatically change to what they wish for. Then the other partner is willing to put in effort If

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