Hey guys, it’s been a minute! Ages, actually. Forgive me, I haven’t been writing much. I just discovered my writing is mostly fueled by downheartedness, thus my long hiatus. Well, the good news is: I got married!
Yeah, you heard right. The incurable romantic is hooked and I just feel I owe it to some of you who have read and identified with my struggles as a single girl (see my previous posts on BellaNaija) to share how my knight in shiny armor found me, and also to let all the single girls know that there is hope. So here goes.
After my last post “Boy, Bye,” I basically shut down emotionally. I just didn’t care anymore. I was numb for a long time. I honestly thought my heart was worn out from it all and there was no love left to give. I literally went through all the stages of grief and I finally understood what each stage meant. That was when love came my way, and trust me, it wasn’t love at first sight.
I didn’t meet the man I married in any way I had imagined over the years. I can’t really remember the first day I saw him. He was just some guy at my workplace I never paid any notice to. Not because he wasn’t fiiiiine, mind you, but just because I wrote him off as one of them players and I certainly wasn’t ready to be played.
He didn’t pop up in my radar as a potential so all the time he asked to take me on a date, I always found a reason to say no. Until we met again at an office event and really got talking. I don’t want to give too much away for privacy reasons but I just want to point out a few things along the course of our courtship that was unique:
1. He never put me down for once. He respected me and accepted me with my flaws. He didn’t make me doubt or question the way he felt about me even for one day.
2. I didn’t have to seek affirmation for his love or make any serious efforts in the relationship. I was just simple and seamless. It just put to joke all the times I struggled in the past to analyze people’s feelings about me and give excuses for them even if they fall short of expectations.
3. I must be honest, I dealt with a lot of insecurities at first coming from my past experiences, and I kept waiting for the axe to fall one day. But he made me trust again and love again in a totally different kind of way. Our special song is Bez’ “You Suppose Know,” for obvious reasons.
4. He made me feel at home and was totally real that I didn’t have to put on any airs around him. I could just be me.
5. I was able to overlook some things I couldn’t stand with some other guys, with him they just didn’t seem to matter that much. E.g. “texting.” We had a long distance relationship and I absolutely preferred talking on the phone while he liked to text. In the past I used to write off guys who wouldn’t call as not serious.
He is far from perfect but he is just perfect for me. I would have put a checkbox beside everything I once wrote I wanted in a man, just to make you see, but I’d save it for my next post.
All I want to say to all the ladies still looking for love is relax. It will find you when you least expect, and in the most unassuming way. And you will just know because, I promise, it will be different. There will be a calm that gives you the feeling like this was always meant to be and you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about in the first place. And all those pain and tears? You will forget them and how you felt. It will all go away. Hang in there, ladies!
Photo Credit: Dreamstime