I give myself a mental pat on the back. “Good girl!”.
Sounds like a stupid thing to do for such a trivial thing yea?
But the thing is: THIS, is a big deal for me.
I’ve come a long way. I’m not all there yet, still some work left to do, still some healing left to do. For instance, part of me still cannot believe this is happening, still cannot understand why you left, still cannot believe you did that which you said you wouldn’t do.
I’m a long way from the day you left me hanging alone at the edge of the cliff.
You remember in the beginning, I warned you not to play with my heart, it was funny then. We laughed about it, but here we are today.
You did it
There are days when I want to hate you, say hurtful things to you,Just to make me feel this pain a little less
But I don’t let myself dwell on those thoughts too much or too long. I brush them aside.
You know why?
Because I cannot let you steal another piece of me
I would not let you steal the goodness in me
No way I’m going to let you steal the God in me
So baby, I wish you well
I wish you a love greater than that which I felt for you
Good health, long life, a good life, a good wife, beautiful kids, Plenty of money.
I wish you all that and a lot more.
You know those places we went together, those things we did together, there are times I don’t want to see those places or want to go near those places.
But I push myself because I cannot let you steal those things from me.
I will still go to our favourite places because those places were favourite to me too.
I will still kiss in an elevator tomorrow
I will still give big long hugs
I will still love like I did you
I will not let you make me say “Never again”
I will let this heart love again.
I will let this heart love another
I will let this heart love like it always does: wholly, completely, selflessly, with complete trust
Just like a child.
You stole some parts of my past
I cannot let you steal even a drop of my future
I’m sorry babe, I cannot let you into my tomorrow
I love you, loved you but in my past you will remain
I am not saying I’m there yet but I’m trying, will keep trying even if it’s the last thing I do.
To get this behind me and move on
Time they say heals everything.
Time does not lie.
I have yet to see time fail me.
So Ex number 1, number 2, number Xn …. This is my goodbye to you.
Photo Credit: Phrysphotos | Dreamstime.com