I am not married; never have been, either. I would love to be though… one day soon too.
I would want to do it right. I have lots of married friends and sometimes they tell me things. I have come to know that the choice of who you spend eternity with should not depend only on those flurry and tingly feelings.
This is not news. I bet you’ve heard this a million times. One thing I think is critical, is marrying someone that can meet you half way. Someone that would want to understand why you have to have a book in your face while you eat.
Why you don’t think it’s a big deal to let your friend rub your baby bump.
My friend once told me about the “YOU SOUP”. The You Soup represent our lives and the ingredients that make up the soup are the experiences in our lives that makes us who we are.
A typical Egusi soup for instance will have the regular ingredients that we know e.g melon, palm oil etc. However, the cook might just add a secret ingredient which nobody knows about.
That secret ingredient will have an effect on how that soup turns out eventually.
That, is like our lives. Everyone has a secret ingredient.
We are who we are based on the experiences that we have
Sometimes it’s hard for others to see things from our point of view or do things the way we do. Because, their “YOU SOUP” is different.
Marriage most times brings people from two entirely different backgrounds to live together, so definitely there will be friction at some point on some issues.
For instance, in my house there are no closed doors. We walk in and out at will, even with my parent’s room. So I will likely leave doors open when I get married.
If I happen to get married to someone that was brought up in a house where doors must be closed and privacy is respected, then we are bound to disagree on that.
This brings us to the whole purpose of this gist here: “COMPROMISE”
Don’t expect me to close doors every time. I will try to as much as I can, but there will be times when I will forget. DON’T GET MAD.
I have seen a woman try to change everything about herself just to please her man – change the way she walks, change the way she cooks, change the way she places the table mat just because that is what he is used to.
It’s beautiful that you want to try but the truth is you cannot sustain it.
You will keep giving and giving and sacrificing until one day you will explode.
What is key is meeting each other halfway. Bending your rules as much as the other person is bending too.
Settle for in-between.
One of the worst things to happen to anyone, in my opinion, is to marry someone you cannot negotiate with. For some spouses, when it’s a “NO” that’s the end of it. Some people scurry and cower around their spouses. For me this is wrong on all counts.
Respect? Yes, but fear NO! NO! NO!
I hate it when people think they can come into my life and “FIX” me to be how they want.
If you cannot tolerate my bad side, it’s best you walk, there is no trying to fit me to your taste.
I am not perfect. Neither are you.
Learn me as I learn you and maybe one day you will see life through my eyes.
In a way that you haven’t imagined.
Meet me half way there…
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