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Ask Shade About Trusts: My Husband Hides His Assets From Me

Apart from finding a way to be financially productive yourself, even if it is through opening an investment portfolio that your husband can give you initial money for, start by letting your husband know that you are concerned about what could happen to you and his dependents if anything happens to him, particularly as you are not gainfully employed and are totally dependent on him financially.

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Ask ShadeHello Shade,
I am a full-time housewife married to an international businessman. It is his choice that I stay home to tend to the home front, which I’ve come to embrace as my role. The problem is that as an educated wife, I think I’m supposed to know all my husband’s assets and properties, but he doesn’t tell me anything about them. I often feel he thinks I’m useless because I don’t work. Am I being unnecessarily paranoid?
– Bisi, Ogun State

***

Dear Bisi,

Thank you for reaching out to me.

I understand that you feel under-appreciated by your husband, despite the fact that at your husband’s request, you have assumed the role of a full-time housewife.

In my opinion, your concerns are justifiable, because as a full-time homemaker who is completely financially dependent on your husband, such thoughts would pervade your mind. Perhaps this mental nudge is what you require to confirm if your husband has an estate plan in place. However, you must tread with caution to avoid being misunderstood.

Apart from finding a way to be financially productive yourself, even if it is through opening an investment portfolio that your husband can give you initial money for, start by letting your husband know that you are concerned about what could happen to you and his dependents if anything happens to him, particularly as you are not gainfully employed and are totally dependent on him financially. I believe this will set the tone for your husband to re-evaluate your current position as a full-time housewife. It would also prompt him to consider the options open to him toward planning his estate, including putting his will in place to determine how his assets will be distributed at the end of his life, and/or setting up a trust to cater for your welfare and that of other dependents.

I hope I have been able to help you out in some way.

Cheers,
Shade

Folashade has a wealth of experience in legal structuring, capital markets, and financing transactions. Her expertise also spans Private Trust, and other succession/estate planning alternatives. Currently, she is Managing Director of ARM Trustees Limited, a subsidiary of the ARM Group charged with asset protection, wealth transfer and generally, succession and estate planning.

2 Comments

  1. Tatafo!

    May 31, 2019 at 9:51 pm

    I truly wish Bisi all the best. This is such a tricky situation.
    Ladies please before you agree to stay at home, make sure you know your husband’s views on disclosing his financial assets to you so that there won’t be stories that touch later.

    3
    • Sisilawyer

      June 6, 2019 at 6:38 pm

      While it is great to tend the home front the woman must have her own money. It could be an investment midwifed with funds from the husband or it could be from small trading she does. It’s not fair on herself to expect the husbands money fund her throughout. Suppose he gets ill and they aren’t able to reach his assets in time or he dies and probate takes forever.
      Similarly it is in the mans interets to let his wife know what he owns.

      1

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