Finding A Balance Between Our Online Persona And The Real Us

I am particular about what I share and how I present myself online. There’s an online persona I create for myself, and that’s because I do not want to be perceived a certain way. Although there are multiple versions of me, how I want my online audience to see me is significantly important. I also want my online presence to be tailored towards prospective opportunities and connections that might come my way.

Lately, I’ve been thinking if the vast difference between our online personas and the real us can come across as hypocritical. The first time my friend, Seun and I met physically, he was slightly shocked to witness how funny I was. “You don’t appear as a funny person online,” he said. If I were with a friend who knew me better, I would have responded with “Dey play” but I just laughed it off. I wanted to explain how my personality, online, does not reflect my entire reality. But giving it a second thought, I think it might. I imagine Seun admired me because of how I presented myself online or was a business partner who had seen me in a certain light. Whichever it is, his thoughts about me were a reflection of how I presented myself online.

We can’t dictate or police how people perceive us, but in today’s digital age, how we present ourselves online is a carefully orchestrated performance – like choosing the perfect outfit for a special occasion. Showcasing only the best part of our lives on social media, and curating our profiles to portray an idealised version of ourselves, is deliberate: we want people to see only what we want them to see. Nothing more. We filter out the messy, imperfect parts and present a polished version that may not fully reflect who we are in real life. Although this is good for personal branding, professional opportunities, and helping us stand out in a crowded online landscape, I wonder how much of this is perceived as hypocritical.  

Some time ago, when Layi Wasabi was seen at a club, people were shocked to know he goes to clubs, and even drinks Azul. His videos – often showing him as a clumsy, broke lawyer in oversized suits or a hustling marketer – did nothing to show this club-going, Azul-drinking side of him. The reactions to the video were not surprising; the truth is that the discrepancy between our online and offline personas can lead others to question our human authenticity and behaviours outside social media. Still, I believe that crafting an online image allows us to control the narrative about ourselves. If Layi does not appear to be a club-goer in his skits or on social media, surely there’s a reason for that. It is the same for every one of us then – not presenting my entire self is also deliberate. I believe we must be selective about what we share online to help establish and maintain a sense of boundary and privacy.

To navigate this digital tightrope, we must try to find a balance between authenticity and projection. We can still showcase our best selves online while remaining true to who we are. In any case, however, just do what pleases you. If you like to share a lot about yourself online, do it. If you wish to craft an identity different from your physical person online, feliz! You call the shots. 

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Feature Image by Oladimeji Ajegbile for Pexels