Titilade Ilesanmi: A Letter to Every Mom Trying to Fit Into Clothes That No Longer Fit Her

Dear Mom,

I want to speak to your heart, because I’ve been there. I remember after I had my son, I walked into my closet thinking I’d just pick up from where I left off. I reached for the clothes I used to love—the jeans that once hugged me just right, the dress that always made me feel put together. But when I put them on, something felt off.

They didn’t fit. And slowly, it began to sink in, my body had changed. But instead of accepting that, I did what so many of us do.

I kept those clothes and told myself I’d snap back. I used them as reminders of the me I used to be. Each time I tried to fit into them and failed, I felt disappointed, frustrated, and to be honest, I started to feel like I had failed myself.

But the truth? Those clothes weren’t for this version of me. Because I wasn’t meant to go back, I was meant to grow.

The Lie That Keeps So Many Moms Stuck

I’ve seen it over and over again: mothers who once glowed with so much joy now struggling with the weight of shame because their bodies no longer reflect the world’s “ideal.” This body image has left so many moms feeling stuck. Unhappy. Ashamed. Silently judging themselves. Avoiding mirrors. Speaking cruelly to their reflections. Refusing to take pictures. Skipping events. Shrinking inward. All because a few items in the closet no longer zip up. All because of a lie that says, “You must fit into what you used to be, or you are no longer enough.” Instead of accepting a new version of themselves, they hold on to a part of themselves that has grown beyond who they are now.

One day, I looked at my wardrobe and realised this isn’t helping me heal. It’s keeping me in a place I’ve already outgrown. So I let go. I permitted myself to release the old clothes—the ones that no longer served my new life or honoured my now body. I stopped measuring my value by what fit and started asking a new question: What will help me feel like who I am now, stronger, wiser, softer, and still beautiful?

I began to rebuild from there. I brought in new clothes that celebrate this new version of me: the mom, the nurturer, the doer of great things. Clothes that gave me room to breathe, to move, to shine. Outfits that made me walk taller and feel whole. And slowly, I found my confidence again over time.

We were never meant to stay the same—neither in size, shape, nor in life. You are in a process of becoming, and that is a sacred, beautiful journey. Your body has created life; it has evolved to keep moving forward. Now, it’s your turn to evolve—not just in spirit or mind, but also in how you dress and perceive yourself.

Don’t let society’s standards diminish the greatness you are stepping into. Don’t allow a clothing size or an old pair of jeans to steal the confidence that you deserve to carry.

So here’s my message to every mom reading this: Clear out those clothes that no longer serve you. Protect your heart from a world that idolises a single body type. Let your wardrobe reflect the version of yourself that is doing bigger, deeper, and more purposeful things.

And above all, remember this: you are not less because you have changed. You are more. You are more than your size, more than the clothes that no longer fit, and more than the opinions of others. You deserve to wear clothes that allow your light to shine.

I’m not just sharing this as a body image coach and style consultant. I’m sharing it as a woman who had to rediscover herself. Now that I have, I want to empower you to know—it’s possible. You don’t have to remain stuck in the past versions of yourself.

You are allowed to embrace the person you are now. You can dress like her, move like her, and love like her. Because she is also in the process of becoming, and she is beautiful, just as she is.

With love,

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