Mfonobong Inyang: What Happens When You’re In-Between Fights?

In 2008, I travelled to spend some time with my uncle, who resided in another state at the time. The trip both advanced my academic pursuits and gave me the chance to leave the city where I was born and bred for the first time. Even at a young age, I have always had that sense of adventure, so I chose to travel on my own so I could see other parts of the country. Unfortunately, road trips have now become a luxury some of us can no longer afford, and it’s not for lack of money. Go figure.

Long story short, my uncle and his wife were excited to have me spend time with them. One day, I was home alone, and I went through their collection of CDs, and I saw one with a fascinating title, “Manpower 2001: Men of Honour” by TD Jakes. You know, listening to someone preach the bible had you wondering if it’s from the same bible you have? Let’s just say the way I interrogated the bible from that day changed. In fact, two years ago, I wrote a piece here that was largely influenced by that sermon. Ever since, there has been hardly a week that goes by which I don’t listen to something from TD Jakes, whether via social media, online broadcast or cable television.

Earlier this year, I went through a rough patch; there was one message that really helped me navigate those deep waters. It was very important to educate myself when going through a storm; otherwise, I may have ended up misdiagnosing the problem. It was a no-brainer that I elected to listen to someone who has seen it all and has half a century of experience in ministry. When he used one of my favourite persons, Saul of Tarsus, also known as Paul, as his muse, I knew he had my attention. So this is also my way of paying homage to a voice that has shaped a generation.

Here are excerpts from my personal journal.

The Moment

Paul didn’t start as the chief apostle; his story begins as the chief persecutor of the community of faith. His method wasn’t the usual hit-and-run; he was surgical in terms of targeted attacks. He was en route to Damascus with his marauding crew when his journey was interrupted by Jesus. Jesus had proclaimed himself to be the way, the life and the truth and here was a guy terrorising followers of Jesus (adherents of Jesus then were known as followers of “The Way”). Jesus basically called Paul a coward because he was going after soft targets. So he wanted, as we say in my neck of the woods, for Paul to talk to him directly instead of going through the corners. Luke, who chronicles this encounter and is a master storyteller himself, puts in a phrase that seems irrelevant until you clock it: “A light that was brighter than the midday sun”. Jesus, amongst other things, was communicating to Paul, who was an intellectual, that there is something bigger than what he knew – any light greater than the sun at midday had to be supernatural.

Paul’s life as he knew it changed forever. In fact, his transformation would be so radical that the phrase “Damascus road experience” would transcend religious circles and is used in cultural contexts to this very day. However, this moment is one of disruption. Paul started this journey with eyesight and lost it temporarily; the men who he was leading to Damascus would be those who led him to a safe house. A doctor of the law was being directed to become a student under a little-known Ananias. Nothing humbles a man more than when he has to seek help from those who would ordinarily be the ones to ask help from him. Sounds familiar, right?

The Misfit

What happens when a Pharisee steeped in legalism becomes the chief apostle of grace? An intellectual willing to become a fool for the sake of the gospel? The predator of The Way becoming its top proponent? The same thing that every misfit experiences: he becomes too this to be that and too that to be this. He’s no longer welcomed at the Sanhedrin where he was regarded as a protégé of the great Gamaliel; neither is he exactly given the right hand of fellowship by the ecclesia. In fact, the appearance of Jesus to Ananias was almost not enough to convince him about Paul owing to his notorious antecedent. Even as a freeborn Roman citizen, Paul didn’t have it easy – every so often he was harassed, arrested and assaulted by the authorities over his newfound conviction and his willingness to propagate the idea that a person existed who was superior to the emperor.

Paul is a powerful reminder that we don’t get to have a say over who God chooses; his case was purely an election of grace. After Judas literally sold out Jesus, the remaining disciples cast lots to choose his replacement. Matthias may have completed the twelve, but Jesus chose Paul. Fitting in can rob you of your purpose; the obsession to be loved and accepted may be the reason you’re so frustrated. In this age of manufactured consent, it takes a fight to embrace your difference. Misfits are usually misunderstood and misrepresented; you will typically feel alone in the midst of many people, and most people would never appreciate you in real time (most people were only given their flowers after they died). So if you ever feel like an outcast or misfit, congratulations. You’re not alone. Welcome to the club.

The Messenger

Sometimes your name can be greater than you, and God has to work on the mindset. Jesus had told Ananias that Paul was a “chosen vessel”, and Paul understood his assignment to a tee. Paul was primarily sent to the gentiles and he was fully equipped for his mission. His experiences were unique to him and prepared him for what was ahead. He could mentor people like Timothy and inspire many others, but at the end of the day, Paul was simply one of one. You have to forgive yourself for not being able to reproduce yourself in others.

The Message

Paul knew the weight, sanctity and consequential nature of his message, so he put in a great effort to not allow emotions to interfere with his revelations. He was careful not to create doctrine from his desires and policies from his preferences. Paul knew he was documenting literature that would shape communities of faith around the world thousands of years after he left the scene. This explains how he could be locked up in prison but could still write letters to the Philippians; he encouraged others even when he was in despair, and he supported others when he struggled himself. In his own words, he had learnt how to, “abase and abound”. Paul further wrote that he determined to know nothing except Jesus Christ and him crucified, inferring that there were many other ‘messages’ competing for his focus, but he chose above all to preach Christ.

Ever heard a communications coach tell his or client to “stay on message”? This is such a powerful lesson because whenever life happens to us, there is a temptation to build our purpose around our pain, frame truth through our trauma and develop a message from the crucible of our mess. This requires a different type of discipline; it takes discipline to stay true to your calling even when things are challenging.

Remember what Jesus told Ananias about Paul: “For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name”. Please note, this suffering wasn’t as a result of his persecution of the ecclesia but a prophecy about the fierce opposition he would face in the course of his ministry. Paul embraced the reality that his mission entailed a healthy amount of fights and would reflect this in his language. Statements such as “I fought beasts at Ephesus” underscore this mindset. Close to when he was to be martyred, he wrote to his protégé how he had “fought the good fight”. All the great things Paul achieved, including documenting two-thirds of the New Testament, were all done in between fights – not because things were nice and dandy.

In his own words: “I’ve worked much harder, been jailed more often, beaten up more times than I can count, and at death’s door time after time. I’ve been flogged five times with the Jews’ thirty-nine lashes, beaten by Roman rods three times, pummelled with rocks once. I’ve been shipwrecked three times, and immersed in the open sea for a night and a day. In hard travelling year in and year out, I’ve had to ford rivers, fend off robbers, struggle with friends, struggle with foes. I’ve been at risk in the city, at risk in the country, endangered by desert sun and sea storm, and betrayed by those I thought were my brothers. I’ve known drudgery and hard labour, many a long and lonely night without sleep, many a missed meal, blasted by the cold, naked to the weather.”

The lesson for us is that life may not necessarily get easier. For some people, it takes a fight to raise good children, pay the bills or navigate the business space. Whatever happens to you, make your life count in between those fights. What a word.