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Ada Obiako: Some People Will Like You, Others Will Not! Accept It

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You may find yourself asking the question – “Why don’t people like me?”

Well, because they don’t have to.

As much as we hate to accept it, people have the free will to like or dislike us. No one is required by law (spiritual or human) to like you. The problem is that most of us can’t wrap our heads around this notion. Our egos come into play and we start desiring for everyone to like us.

We automatically feel something is wrong with us when someone doesn’t like us. And since most of us hate the discomfort that comes with being disliked, we may feel the need to avoid it by overcompensating to please others or pretending to agree with certain beliefs we don’t find true.

It’s OKAY that some people don’t like you. In all honesty, you should expect it. If everyone likes you, that’s a problem. There are over 7 billion people on this earth. 7 billion people from different backgrounds, with different belief systems, and different priorities in life. The only way everyone would be able to like you would be if you were to say and do things to please everyone – which you can’t. (I’ve tried, it’s exhausting.) In many cases, when people don’t like you it means that you’ve developed CLARITY about your life and you’ve made it openly evident.

The moment you stand in the truth of who you are and what you believe, you will automatically create opposition from the people who do not agree with your beliefs. Surprisingly, there is an upside to this. The dislike from some folks will help you sort out which people are like-minded to you and which aren’t. Which people desire to improve their thoughts, words, actions and which people don’t. Which people value your input and which people would rather not hear you speak.

Yes, it can be painful. It can feel like you are losing – people, specifically. But, what you need to remember is that there are some people you NEED to lose – even if you don’t want to. As you grow and mature, there are some relationships you might need to let go of (maybe just for the time being). There are some people that are more of a hindrance than a help to your personal and spiritual growth. There are some people that feed off criticism, judgment, intolerance, competition, and drama. There are some people you shouldn’t hang around. There are some people that are doing you a favor by disliking you.

Yes, I know you want to be considered the “nice girl” or “nice guy”. I know you want to be praised by everyone and get along with everyone. I know you don’t want to offend anyone or ruffle any feathers. I know you want a spotless reputation. I hate to break it to you but that’s not going to happen. We all have people who don’t like us. You are not exempt. Even the Dalai Lama has people who dislike him. Now this is a man who lives spreading a message of peace and compassion yet there are still people who don’t like him – some hate him!

What more do I need to say?

Some people will like you, some people will not. Accept it, drop your ego, stand and work earnestly in what you believe (no matter who is or isn’t standing beside you), and choose joy in your life…always.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Pemotret

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Adaeze Diana Obiako is a freelance writer, copy-editor, speaker, and vision coach who helps young Christian women feeling depressed/hopeless discover who they are and why they exist so that they can learn how to enjoy more fulfilling and fruitful lives. She blogs about the spiritual lessons she’s learned at www.deserveyourgreatlife.com. You can follow Adaeze on Twitter and Google+.

Adaeze Diana is a freelance writer, copy-editor, speaker, and vision coach who helps young Christian women feeling depressed/hopeless discover who they are and why they exist so that they can learn how to enjoy more fulfilling and fruitful lives. She blogs about the spiritual lessons she's learned at www.deserveyourgreatlife.com. You can follow Adaeze on Twitter and Google+.

28 Comments

  1. Cool cat

    June 29, 2014 at 10:31 am

    Word of life. A lot of people need to print this and read every single morning. Understanding this will give you a stronger sense of self. Other people’s words should not define you!

    • Nigerwifediary.blogspot

      June 29, 2014 at 10:43 am

      Really, print and read every morning… Lol.
      nigerwifediary.blogspot.com

    • nene

      June 29, 2014 at 7:49 pm

      i agree. nice writeup. at a point in my life, i wanted to be the life of the party, the one who everyone got along with and whom everyone liked, it worked for a while but in the end, i learned to be myself as it comes natural to me, it doesn’t matter if people like me or not.

    • Domt

      July 1, 2014 at 2:39 pm

      true

  2. jennygurl

    June 29, 2014 at 10:32 am

    Tankz Ada…just wat i wanted 2 hear

  3. Elizabeth

    June 29, 2014 at 10:52 am

    Really really love this not everybody in life will like you and they dont need to simple ad that, you either accept it or become a chameleon trying to fit in with everybody.

  4. mamamia

    June 29, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    Amen!!!

  5. CHIMEX

    June 29, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    Well said. There are people that naturally develop hatred for people for no reason. The less you pay attention to them the more happier you will be. God bless you ada

    • Adaeze Obiako

      July 1, 2014 at 3:00 am

      Thank you, Chimex. God Bless you too:)

  6. JohnUwangue.blogspot.com

    June 29, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    no matter how you try to please people, there are still some that will hate every of your effort
    nice piece

  7. Acho

    June 29, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    Very nice piece indeed. Ada thank you

    • Adaeze Obiako

      July 1, 2014 at 3:01 am

      You’re welcome, Acho. Thank you for reading:)

  8. Ada ada

    June 29, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    So what if no one likes you?

    • newbie

      June 29, 2014 at 8:41 pm

      ‘Everybody hates me
      Nobody Likes me
      So I’m gonna eat fried cockroach
      cut off the head and suck up the yamayama
      Throw the rest away!’

      There! That’s your answer right there (sorry, I couldn’t help it, that song came to mind as I read your post)

    • jcsgrl

      June 30, 2014 at 4:13 pm

      lmao ure a meanie!

    • Adaeze Obiako

      July 1, 2014 at 3:12 am

      Hey, namesake:) If you feel like no one likes you I suggest liking yourself. Use your time to develop your relationship with God, get clear on what your purpose is in life, get vulnerable about your character flaws and make daily effort to be a more loving, forgiving, and generous person (as best as you can – e no easy o!). And remember, there are over 7 billion people on earth. You haven’t met everyone so you really can’t say “no one” likes you. Be willing to meet new people and build new relationships.

  9. Tlop

    June 29, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    WEll said

  10. Miss Mo

    June 29, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    #RealTalk. Some people are busy trying to please everybody and looking for acceptance from everyone.

    Another way of saying it is “You can’t like everybody so not everybody will like you”. Shikena….

  11. ResplendentChic

    June 29, 2014 at 11:41 pm

    Word.

  12. Truth

    June 30, 2014 at 1:07 am

    On point! Thanks Ada!

  13. sum1special

    June 30, 2014 at 11:34 am

    Well said. Lots of people will become fake, just because they want people to like them. Be you and do you. people who will like you will, and does who wont, well they can go hug a thousand transformers. hehe

  14. dara

    June 30, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    It’s even funny when inlaws expect you to be up and doing for them. They can’t do the same for you and if you don’t send them they label you enemy. But if GOD be for us, who can be against us. Don’t you ever try to please anyone in your discomfort, u willblame yourself because people will not appreciate you an only use you. Discover yourself and be true to your self. No 1 is perfect.

  15. hadassah

    July 3, 2014 at 9:58 am

    This is a very important point to note especially in the work environment. My ideas are never the same with those of my colleagues, I feel like they hate me sometimes and talk about me in my absence but I was brought up to speak my mind. My consolation is exactly what Ada said in this article… thank you dear.

  16. bee

    July 4, 2014 at 10:21 am

    infact,talk about getting people to be cool with you,i added up like 200 folks on my bbm,always bn friendly and nice to them,when the wahala wan kill me,na my hand i take remove the bbm without notifying anybody.And trust me the moment u let people know u dnt give a hoot about their not been cool with you,like totally ignoring them,that is the time they start licking your feet o.oh i’m at that stage in my life where i simply dnt give a hoot about any1’s opinion,and i simply feel amazing!…..Ada thanks for the piece!

  17. kayla

    July 8, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    just came across this and i had to print as fast as i could. thanks so much for this post. and for the first time in my life i am happy being me.

  18. jai marong

    July 15, 2014 at 10:06 am

    i keep skipping the article but it worth taking my time to read it…..excellent piece… when you try to please people every time you end of being a hypocrite…

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