Well, because they don’t have to.
As much as we hate to accept it, people have the free will to like or dislike us. No one is required by law (spiritual or human) to like you. The problem is that most of us can’t wrap our heads around this notion. Our egos come into play and we start desiring for everyone to like us.
We automatically feel something is wrong with us when someone doesn’t like us. And since most of us hate the discomfort that comes with being disliked, we may feel the need to avoid it by overcompensating to please others or pretending to agree with certain beliefs we don’t find true.
It’s OKAY that some people don’t like you. In all honesty, you should expect it. If everyone likes you, that’s a problem. There are over 7 billion people on this earth. 7 billion people from different backgrounds, with different belief systems, and different priorities in life. The only way everyone would be able to like you would be if you were to say and do things to please everyone – which you can’t. (I’ve tried, it’s exhausting.) In many cases, when people don’t like you it means that you’ve developed CLARITY about your life and you’ve made it openly evident.
The moment you stand in the truth of who you are and what you believe, you will automatically create opposition from the people who do not agree with your beliefs. Surprisingly, there is an upside to this. The dislike from some folks will help you sort out which people are like-minded to you and which aren’t. Which people desire to improve their thoughts, words, actions and which people don’t. Which people value your input and which people would rather not hear you speak.
Yes, it can be painful. It can feel like you are losing – people, specifically. But, what you need to remember is that there are some people you NEED to lose – even if you don’t want to. As you grow and mature, there are some relationships you might need to let go of (maybe just for the time being). There are some people that are more of a hindrance than a help to your personal and spiritual growth. There are some people that feed off criticism, judgment, intolerance, competition, and drama. There are some people you shouldn’t hang around. There are some people that are doing you a favor by disliking you.
Yes, I know you want to be considered the “nice girl” or “nice guy”. I know you want to be praised by everyone and get along with everyone. I know you don’t want to offend anyone or ruffle any feathers. I know you want a spotless reputation. I hate to break it to you but that’s not going to happen. We all have people who don’t like us. You are not exempt. Even the Dalai Lama has people who dislike him. Now this is a man who lives spreading a message of peace and compassion yet there are still people who don’t like him – some hate him!
What more do I need to say?
Some people will like you, some people will not. Accept it, drop your ego, stand and work earnestly in what you believe (no matter who is or isn’t standing beside you), and choose joy in your life…always.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Pemotret
Adaeze Diana Obiako is a freelance writer, copy-editor, speaker, and vision coach who helps young Christian women feeling depressed/hopeless discover who they are and why they exist so that they can learn how to enjoy more fulfilling and fruitful lives. She blogs about the spiritual lessons she’s learned at www.deserveyourgreatlife.com. You can follow Adaeze on Twitter and Google+.