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Isio Knows Better: Liar Liar

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Isio-Knows-Better-May-2014-Bellanaija1-562x600I sincerely lay no claims to being more knowledgeable than anyone, but I do confess that I know better than I did yesterday, last year and a decade ago.

Isio Knows Better is an attempt to capture the shocking and highly entertaining conversation within myself. The conversations between my mind (the sharp witty one), my soul (the lover and the spiritual one) and my body (the playful one concerned with the more mundane things of life). She is the eternal referee between the caustic mind and the sensitive soul. This is Isio. So, here’s to making private conversations public.

Enjoy!
***

It turned out there was an out-break of Apollo again. All around us in that boarding school that sat majestically on the hills of an area that was once a forest- many people were falling ill. Watery blood shot eyes, sniffy-sniffers all around the place. They were in the hostels, in the classrooms, by the reservoirs- students and staff- it mattered not. My school had been hit hard by that eye disease that scientists called Acute Haemorrhagic Conjunctivitis, but that we simply called Apollo. We were told the disease jumped from person-to-person by plaguing the uninfected who dared maintain eye contact with an infected person. And so I clutched the eye-drop Mother had bought for me at the beginning of the school term tightly and baptised my eyes generously with it every waking hour. I also made sure not to look into the eyes of anyone I was speaking to. It was an Apollo Apocalypse, and I was determined not to catch it.

And so it happened that day that a group of three uninfected ones (myself included) gathered to gist about the horrors of the Apollo Apocalypse– and how marvellous it was that we were yet still uninfected. I showed them the special eye drop Mother had bought for me, and then demonstrated how I baptised my eyes. They begged me to baptise their eyes, I obliged.

Then one of us; Bolanle held on to the vial of eye-drop. And at the moment, a bigger group of our classmates called onto us to come sit with them. After reassurances that there were no infected ones amongst them, we joined the bigger group. We were gisting and laughing, and then Bolanle decided it was her turn.

She held up my vial of eye-drop and showed it to the crowd. She called it a magical elixir that could cure the so-called Apollo with one drop. She said it was given to her dad by his old pal, a renowned Doctor based in America called Dr. Semen (Oh, I know! Of all the names in the world to use to lie!) That when her dad heard about the Apollo Apocalypse that had plagued the school his sweet daughter was in, he flew all the way down to Africa, and because he didn’t like driving, he came all the way from the airport to our school in the family helicopter – and when he finally came (she was in class) her daddy gave it to the headmaster, Mr B – because he didn’t want to disturb her in class.

Anyway, that was not the point (so she said), the point was that Dr. Semen’s elixir was so powerful that it made one immune to Apollo and it could cure any eye disease. She spent the next twenty minutes regaling us with glorious tales of Dr. Semen’s many wonders. The way she told it, he was better than the best. Some medical messiah- gladiator surgeon like that.

My friend and I looked at Bolanle and then at each other. We shared the same confusion. Was that not the same eye-drop, MY eye drop? Which one is Dr. Semen again o! Truth be told, I was just transfixed by the liar in front of me. With each heavy lie-bomb, my jaw dropped lower and lower, until I was sure it scrapped the earth in incredulous wonder!

AHAN, BOLANLE IWO OMO YI, B’AWO L’O SHEN PA IRO BURUKU BAYI NAAA?! AHHH, B’ERU OLOUN!

(Bolanle! You this girl, how can you lie such a useless lie? Ahhhhhhhh, Fear God na, haba!)

The good thing was that Bolanle spoke with the charisma of a gifted speaker, she was such a wonderful orator. The group we were with were completely hypnotized by her words and already had stars in their eyes at the wonder that was Dr. Semen. For sure they were ready to sell their souls for a drop of his magic potion. The bad news was that Bolanle was a pathological liar. She needed help. Mental and psychological help. Her case was not normal.

It is true that people lie, I mean let’s face facts. But there are some lies that even Satan will hear and report you to Jesus (Special Case Liars). I am not talking about the baby-it-is-not-what-it-looks-like lie that a husband tells his wife after he’d been caught hands-down kpanshing the house-help. Or the baby-I-can’t-I-am-on-my-period many girls tell their partners when they are just not in the mood, or the yes-I-came-many-times given in answer to the stupid question, “Did you come?” When all she is really thinking is— Come where? No o, I went. Psstchewwwwww. Oga do quick and roll off jo, I get muscle pull for leg!!!!!!!

Liar-Liar, pants on fire.

Some people can lie sha. Ahan! Iwa oshi (bad, bad behaviour)!

Here are the greatest three liars I have ever met and the greatest lies they have ever told me. Bolanle is, and still remains numero uno! The undisputed, unchallenged liar of the universe.

NUMBER 2

Chika, (AKA chikala-chikoooodi, AKA Aunty oniro aiye bantu-bantu) Liar of the great-great world.

Ckika was a senior in my secondary school who was convinced she was the mother of P.Diddy’s child and the love of his life. Back in the day, he was still called Puffy and was in a highly publicised relationship with Jennifer Lopez.Rubbing this relationship in Chika’s face wasthe quickest way to get a resounding slap that will uproot your brain from its default position. Such disruption would have you clutching your head, bended on your knees and squinting at the sky, trying to find the source of the weeee-weeee-weeeeeee sound that accompanied the white light in your head. Chikala-chikoooodi didn’t joke. She was fiercely possessive of her love. Just goan sing his song badly in her presence- you just might get a tuwaiiiiiii-tuwaiiiiiii slap (double-dose).

On her good days, she would serenade us with grand stories (in detail) of her great love with Diddy and how her parents disapproved and decided to punish her by bringing her to Mayflower School. She was a great storyteller, that one.

NUMBER 3

The corn-flakes liar. I had the unfortunate pleasure of witnessing my third greatest lie. Also in boarding house. Another primary school student (a junior of mine) had begged another junior to please give her some corn-flakes as she was hungry and didn’t have any. The beggee apologized and said she couldn’t, as her mother had counted each flake of the corn-flakes and had warned her sternly to (in her words) only eat 3 or 4 flakes per week!

Walahi, I almost chocked on the tea I was drinking. I toppled over as a very pepperish sensation engulfed my brain and brought tears to my eyes! I was speechless and slapped the table in front of me in alarm, shock and mirth. Other students had to rush to my aid quickly.

That was how that one would have used her lie to kill me. Literally. Na wa ooo!

These are the three greatest lies I have heard.

What were yours? Just for fun.

Have a truly terrific Tuesday my lovelies!

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

126 Comments

  1. Ivy

    July 22, 2014 at 11:13 am

    Ewoooo! How will anyone count cornflakes ehh? Kai! All these people are needed in Aso rock seriously.

    • Laraba

      July 24, 2014 at 12:11 pm

      The worst liar i have ever met in my life is my friend Doris -. OMG, the girl can lie for the whole world. The lie has put her in so much trouble. Even marital issues too. The lie started from a young age, I cannot even begin to tell her lies here. She lied for money, sympathy etc. I really and truly hope she has changed now.

    • larz

      July 26, 2014 at 8:34 am

      She is your friend and u just called her out full name and all on BN? There is God oh

  2. Ade

    July 22, 2014 at 11:14 am

    Insanely funny! You never ever fail Isio…

  3. Just me

    July 22, 2014 at 11:29 am

    Very hillarious. cant stop laughing “Did you come?” When all she is really thinking is— Come where? No o, I went. Psstchewwwwww. Oga do quick and roll off jo, I get muscle pull for leg!!!!!!!

    Very stupid question indeed.

  4. Easy n Gentle

    July 22, 2014 at 11:36 am

    Isio got to me today oooo. That third lie got me laughing out loud in public… OMG!!! Creativity…

    We had this egbon classmate back in Uni who was like a decade older than the oldest amongst us… He was in his 30s at the time. Very goodlooking and frm a popular well to-do family so you wouldn’t knw he was an egbon. So naturally, we deferred to him but this Bros won’t let up.

    More notable was when he told us he won a contract to renovate/maintain/repair the whole Eko Hotel and suites wiring. The Killer was when there was a fearless rat that was playing around where we were seated. He went on a rendition about the rat in his house was a James Bond, who did all sorts of stunts and one time, stole slices of bread and rolled egg under his fridge and settled down to eat. Like we all planned it, all our jaws were left ajar. His sweet mouth had no equal

  5. TA

    July 22, 2014 at 11:50 am

    Rotflol! Isio! You haf come again o. Be letting people around me think am loony. Lol!
    I have heard too many great well told lies but the one that still shocks me the most is my coursemate in Uni that used to speak with American accent like this (yes we were already adults) who lied that her parents were dead and her rich uncle in Jos was raising her. One day,babe (lets call her Obiajulu) took ill and was hospitalised in the school’s health centre. Her dad came visiting and babe denied it was her dad said it was some man her uncle sent to check on her. Me I did not leave the matter o,i confronted the man who insisted he was her father and added with a sad smile ‘I know Obi has denied me again’. I was beyond flabbergasted. I stopped being friends with her and never looked at this fake babe same way again. Imagine,she lied that her parents were dead because they were poor! I shudder when i still think of it.

    • Queen E

      July 22, 2014 at 2:47 pm

      Kai! That’s so awful! She’ll be a parent one day, wouldn’t she?!

  6. Adaora

    July 22, 2014 at 11:50 am

    Isio ehhn if I start listing lies that this my two small ears have heard eh. Most of em are childish n not even worth sharing. Lemmi grab my popcorn n drinks am soooo looking forward to the comments…

  7. deebaby

    July 22, 2014 at 11:51 am

    hehehehheheh…..LMAO…all those boarding house tales sha…have u heard one that said armed robbers came to their house during the holidays and stole their swimming pool…buhahaha

    • nene

      July 22, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      lmao. i’ve heard that one

    • Simsi

      July 22, 2014 at 2:19 pm

      Did you go to fggc sagamu, fggc oyo or bowen university?. I know I’ve heard this story before

    • Fatimah

      July 22, 2014 at 2:24 pm

      buhahahahahahahaha

  8. maychinny

    July 22, 2014 at 11:54 am

    wnt forget my brother’s friend telling me that beautiful houses are imported.

  9. Ima

    July 22, 2014 at 11:55 am

    Isio, you’re an insanely amusing writer! Thank you for making my day once again.

  10. Annie

    July 22, 2014 at 11:59 am

    hahhahahahhaha, count cornflakes ke…anyway, i had an encounter with a world class liar recently, a woman beater actually, co tenant(a man) was stupid enough to assault me and left evidence of the assault on my face(there was no witness), at the station guy lied that i slipped and fell down ooo, how can one slip, fall down and have a red eye…that may look like a small lie but seriously, i am sure that is the same lies him and his wife tell whenever he assaults her…..ahhh and i have another liar at work ooo, she can lie for Africa, she can say A now and when there is fire on the mountain insist that she said B and not A, just to save her neck…

  11. Iyke

    July 22, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    A classmate of mine (Ikenna) while in boarding sch, used to brag and lie that his folks were very rich. At the end of every hols, dude always came back to sch with brand new Opanka Sandals, loads of provisions et al, and relish us on how he was in America today, London tomorrow on holidays, not knowing that he was always in Aba , visiting an uncle who wasn’t doing badly in business, then. Actually we believed him because we witnessed one of those days when he was dropped off in a Pathfinder by this ‘Supposed Uncle’..We no come hear word again…Ikenna kept bragging, and even said that the Pathfinder na taxi for their house, dat they even have a helicopter.Everybody come dey envy Ikenna as per nwa guy wey dey eat weetabix, drink Ovaltine and Horlicks for boarding school.
    So during one of the annual PTA meetings where parents have to show up, Ikenna’s real father who lives in the village, (God Bless his soul) rode to school on a bicycle and requested to see is beloved son. Our Ikenna denied his Papa…He said that he was their driver.
    Today, Ikenna is in Abuja ..He still dey lie lie…..If you call him now, he will tell you how he just finished a meeting with the deputy senate president!

    • Thatgidigirl

      July 22, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      lmao @ he still dey lie lie, old habits die hard!

    • TA

      July 22, 2014 at 4:02 pm

      Lol! @ he still dey lie lie till today. Same with the chic I told her story. She still dey lie lie o and to think she is teaching Sunday school classes in a very popular church that meets at a hotel in Lekki.

    • mrs chidukane

      July 22, 2014 at 8:37 pm

      Hahahahaha! Opanka! A.B.A for life

  12. Duke Mills

    July 22, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    I am very sure these stories are made up for the purpose of hilarity. Or is it not?? Lying is the oldest part of a human character. It can be traced from time immemorial-Adam & Eve
    There will also be a bucket list of liars cutting accross all professions: politicians(I am sure you’ll agree they should be first.), Lawyers aka Liars, doctors( the quarks), celebrity(fake life n lie lie pics on instagram), pastors( sow a seed dat will provoke God, 3Day Miracle etc.),the list is ad infinitum!!
    Lying will always be part and parcel of our everyday life.
    But who is the greater liar? Men or Women.
    Good write-up Isio de la Vega!!

  13. teniola

    July 22, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    Boarding house and bad ass lies!!! It must be all that cooping up, it makes people dream. I had a senior too back then, the mumu girl as never stepped out of Sagamu ooo. But it didn’t stop her from regalling us about how she summered in Paris, New York, and London. Even when everyone knew, it was lies. Girls like Bolanle, suffering from illusions of grandeur, girls that cry at the sight of cockroach, Gist sweet gist about their mansions with twenty maids, a gardner, gate man, butler and cook all on the Island. Only to visit them at Mushin, in their one room with folding metal chairs, no beds. The kind of lies that give heart attack

    • Simsi

      July 22, 2014 at 2:26 pm

      Did you go to fggc sagamu?

    • teniola

      July 23, 2014 at 10:36 am

      Yup! Proud sagamite!!

  14. Babytohcute

    July 22, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    Hahaha! I had this classmate back then (secondary school) who said an artist or celeb can’t remember the exact person sent him trainers through the internet. Ahn ahn! Internet ke? Myself and some friends never let go of that lie. We teased him up till the point he started denying he ever said that. People dey lie sha.

  15. adelegirl

    July 22, 2014 at 12:20 pm

    Died laughing and resurrected at “yes-I-came-many-times given in answer to the stupid question, “Did you come?” When all she is really thinking is— Come where? No o, I went. Psstchewwwwww. Oga do quick and roll off jo, I get muscle pull for leg!!!!!!!”

    There was a girl in my secondary school who could also lie for Africa. I remember her regaling us with tales of how her house was so big it was shaped like an aeroplane!

    Bold-faced liars totally kill me. Like how can you just concoct a lie about something that never happened just to make someone look bad or put someone in trouble. It is extremely wicked and I think a sign of mental imbalance. I can somewhat understand exaggerating an event that actually occurred but making something up out of nothing… *shivers*

  16. Amaka

    July 22, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    I am an expert in that yes-bae-I-came-many-times lie. The one time I was angry with the boo and said I did not come, Uncle did not find it funny o. Angrily told me he used all of his sexual skills on over 15years on me so why would I not come? I had to further lie that I was on the verge of coming when he stopped. That was what calmed him down…sigh.

    I had this friend that whenever us just girls are gisting and its her turn to give us gist, we all start holding in laughter and giving ourselves mischievious looks because Babe can lie for Africa. She is the only person who is confused about whether she should date Dangote’s son or Bill Gate’s son but she is in love Wizkid and DJ Exclsive has just proposed to her but she doesn’t want him because he is too fine and she has a date with Bradley Cooper this evening but she just got a call from Liams Hemsworth and so she has to go to his house first. You know this kind lie wey no dey make sense. Called her out one day after she involved my name in one of her many stupid lies and that was how the friendship died. Good Riddance.

    • tunmi

      July 22, 2014 at 2:45 pm

      lmao chai even me sef lost count

  17. Fatimah

    July 22, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    Lmaoooo @ the third liar. Mine has to be between a distant step-cousin of mine and my ex-roomie in Uni. Omo, these girls can lie for Africa!!!

    My step-cousin that got pregnant and still kept arguing with the doctor she was a virgin, ok o take us to the owner of the belle na, she took family members to a telecomms mast. Mast now drip sperm? After all said and done, this girl still continued denying the pregnancy even going as far as suggesting they do scan. Lol

    • Blessed

      July 22, 2014 at 5:42 pm

      hahahhahahhahahhahahahah. i cant abeg

  18. missteaq

    July 22, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    Lmfao!!!awon deadly liars :'( the cornflakes girl brought ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ ) to my eyes..

  19. kola

    July 22, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    you know a writer is good when you start reading wat is being written and you find yourself in the story and can picture vividly wat you read.thumbs up isio,i always look forward to your article…

  20. Solape Olabintan

    July 22, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Thank God her lie didn’t kill o, lkwmd, I remebered on of my secondary schl mate dn too, I asked her for garri and she said “mi o ti ja garri mi”i was like what se won tun ma ja garri ni, meaning pls give me garri, I’ve not opened my garri so I can’t give you

    • kim

      July 23, 2014 at 2:16 pm

      hahahaha. i remembered too in command kaduna, if u ask some girls for garri, dey will say they have not opened it.

  21. Le coco

    July 22, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Haha… Isio…mi swear in each of the numerous secondary skools I hv attended…. I hv met pathological liars….. One was convinced Tht his father worked with CIA.. Nd that this same father was a ninja… The other was a Hausa girl hu made us believe that her mother was Italian(which is ironic cus I’ve met the mother several tymes) ..Nd another of girl convinced us Tht she is coming to a prom in a Lamborghini and with a date hu came straight from Italy… 2 days to prom nd this girl says he uncle ddnt send th Lamborghini and Tht her “Italian stud” broke his leg and is in the hospital.. This same girl assured us Tht all her friends drool over her dad cus he has a six pac(th man is bald with a pot belly and an unusually large ass) and that she has a pet lion in her house which she conveniently named nallah…. But really isio.. There is a lot more I cn tell u bout these ppl bt there r only soo many words in th English language .. Lool

  22. Nat

    July 22, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    Chei! Isio abeg do you know where any of these girls are right now? Will really be interesting to know what they are doing now. Infact that junior girl’s one takes the cake. Chei!

    • Agreed.

      July 22, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      More like ‘that junior girl’s one takes the FLAKE!’ 😀

  23. baby

    July 22, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    write a composition on how u spent ur 3rd term break,i travelled with my family to london,went to england to see the queen ,from london we went to paris,then ended up in usa,it was so much fun with my brother and cousins………..meanwhile thsi my cousin was in my house in lagos throughout the holiday ooooo,chaiiiiii some people can lie sha

  24. toby

    July 22, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    just got me laughing like a mad girl in the office, u wont believe it just have to lie now to cover up my madam in the office. cant believe i did that

    • Linda

      July 22, 2014 at 4:40 pm

      same happened to me, had tears in my eyes so they advised i take tomorrow off to see an optician, hahahah!!

  25. Miss Pee

    July 22, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    Hahahahahaha Isio, don come again ooh……………………….. One of my cousin lies for CNN abi BBC Chai! Her lie can make a child in the womb give her a dirty resounding slap. There was this guy then who was asking her out, I was staying in their house then in uni, she was just whining her mouth how the guy was2x her height , Hian! this my cousin is close to 6 feet and she’s telling me the guy is 2x her height, I just reasoned the gist and was waiting anxiously the day the guy will visit the house again. Fortunately I was home the day the guy came, Ph chick no dulling I just asked her if I should accompany her to see the guy off, when he was about leaving she accepted, I got close to this guy and measure my height with his I dey reach the guy for shoulder, I no talk , when we got home I asked if the guy we just saw off was the same person she was referring to she affirmed, I asked her if he left some of his height at home cos I dey reach the guy for shoulder, she didn’t answer.
    another gist, while I was serving I had this parrot chick that can talk pass Talking machine, hian if it’s not she’s a make up artist, she sells this and that, I pitied wan chick that she gave this girl her face to do her make up for her wedding, this make up chick, used her face for make up masquerade.
    I have encountered plenty ooh, if I begin to type bellanaija will open a new section for me.

  26. N.M

    July 22, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    Isio you are the best….hahahahaha I literally fell off my chair at that cornflakes story…people can lie shaaa. God help us

  27. Chinwe

    July 22, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    Isio ooooooo. me thinks you r a comedienne without knowing it. I laffed so hard in the office that someone had to ask if everythg was ok. lwkmd @ “…to get a resounding slap that will uproot your brain from its default position” and “……Walahi, I almost chocked on the tea I was drinking. I toppled over as a very pepperish sensation engulfed my brain and brought tears to my eyes! I was speechless and slapped the table in front of me in alarm, shock and mirth.” thumbs up babes

  28. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    July 22, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    My seat mate in primary school told me their television fell on his head from a very high position which was why he had a very big ogo.

  29. Simsi

    July 22, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    I remember a girl in my secondary that lied that her room was shaped like a shoe, and how rich her parents were. When her mum came to school, she now lied to everyone that she was her housemaid. Another one in my university lied that jim iyke tried to rape her and desmond elliot was asking her out. I know one case about a girl that denied her mother and called her their housemaid, the mother found out and disgraced her in front of her classmates and told her not to come home again. The girl didn’t go home for that holiday o. Had to stay somewhere else. Some people just lie unnecessarily. Saying stories that they didn’t ask you in the first place

    • Koffie

      July 26, 2014 at 11:06 am

      At Bowen you said, loool. Do you by any chance know of the “Taylor loran” babe?
      Two girls from UPE1 were asking this babe if she knows Taylor loran and she said yes and went on to say she has some dresses made by that designer only for these two girls to start laughing in her face cos Taylor loran only meant “Taylor lo ran” (na Taylor sew am)

    • Evie

      July 31, 2014 at 2:10 pm

      Lmaoo! this same thing happened in my secondary school- one babe, popularly called ‘Abdul’ lied that she knew ‘taylor lo ran’ and ‘cobbler lo she’..and that they were her dad’s special designers Lool I was in tears. One time, she lied to us that her mum, who is a party planner saw a spider on a bag of rice and threw the whole bag of rice away. Another time she said in her former school (dansol) they had walkie talkies on their eating tables and if they didn’t want that particular food, they’d call on the cooks with their walkies and order whatever food they want.

      The one that totally nailed me, killed me, slayed me and paralyzed my enemies was the one she gave of her aunt working in coca cola bottling company. Apparently, Abdul and her friend went to visit her aunt in her office, they became pressed and there were no toilets around, her aunt now gave them a coke bottle to wee in, after they did, the aunt gave the workers to proper screw it and add it to the other packaged drinks. I was just in awe of how one human being can deceive a whole set without batting her eyes. Haa! I duff my hat,

  30. Derry

    July 22, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    Very hilarious piece. Your picture painting skiil with words is on point. I was in all those scenes with you.
    My serious office people are wondering… why is this girl laughing out loud and grinning from ear to ear by herself, they are too serious to question me sef

  31. Gorgeous

    July 22, 2014 at 1:53 pm

    I had a friend that could lie without even thinking. She lies about everything to the extent that I started fearing for my life around her. Such pathological liars can sell you and convince themselves they did not harm you or you deserved it. I think it’s a mental illness. This babe lies to herself, it’s that bad. How much more a friend or stranger. We all lie every now and then, but some people can alarm the devil

  32. LIKE SERIOUSLY

    July 22, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    I had a school mate in secondary school who bragged that on their way back from summer hols abroad, the aviation fuel finished and they had to change plane mid air. I swear,till today my fellow feddy girls still talk about this lie. It is just beyond me.

    • Nat

      July 22, 2014 at 4:23 pm

      BBM *surprised smiley* with my jaw dropping. Chei chei chei there is God o, haba mana! na molue??

  33. michy

    July 22, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    Laugh typing…. hahahahah…. Isio, I have read all ur articles on BN. u are sure a good penner. I love your style of writing and method of always making your readers beg for more, your sense of humour is tasteful. #isioilike

  34. Gooby

    July 22, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    looooooooooooooooooooooool! some lies can shock the living daylight out of ur brains! The most annoying ones are those that lie in the presence of someone who knws the truth. Jst like my cousin who went around telling her classmates in secondary school that her father owned a limousine. some of the girls who knew we were related came to confirm the story and i jejely told dem that it ws a blatant lie! u can already guess hw they ‘finished’ her in class. lmao

  35. missme

    July 22, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    The worse lies I’ve ever heard are from Mayflower too! Lies that leave you speechless

  36. bam bam

    July 22, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    Beautiful piece Isio! Pathological liars, i have met one too many i knew a girl in boarding school who told us that when she was on a plane back from london it was snowing and she rolled down the windows,put some snow into a nylon bag so she could take it with her back to nigeria to make a snow man! This madam also fabued us that her family went camping one time in abuja(now that i think about it i wonder where?!) and some monkeys were harassing them and her dad pulled out a gun and shot all the monkeys she also told us she could talk to horses… and some of us chopped!! Smh…

    • Queen E

      July 22, 2014 at 3:05 pm

      LOL!!! Snow in a nylon bag?!!! I just kent

  37. Queen E

    July 22, 2014 at 2:37 pm

    Hahahaha! Isio! Very funny topic. I have ‘encountered liars in my secondary school. especially One that would tell us, she spent her vacation in the US and went there on Air force 1 and she would argue it out with you like no tomorrow. Imagine the levels! Unfortunately for her, her lies were always spontaneous, So whenever she threw a bombshell, we would verify from her younger sister who was just like her but just didn’t have the details… hahaha Air force 1 indeed. She could bullshit for Africa. I hope she has changed though…

  38. Adah

    July 22, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    ….and then one day in sec. sch (boarding house), we were all gisting cant remember abt wat exactly , One girl just told us that her dog has a personal swimming pool and takes cornflakes , my brain stopped for just a nanosecond n i looked at myself , maybe just maybe i look stupid enough to believe this girl. that was how the babe lost a good friend in me. i don’t like people treating me like am stupid, nonsense!!! Great work Isio, love ur write ups.

  39. dunni

    July 22, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    lol…..in primary school my elder sisters frend told her that 62 people sweep der parlour and dat she has never tasted eba before in her life,we went visiting one day and choi unfortunately 4 her if u see d massive eba she was diging in her front and one very tiny soup wit no meat, fear of God catch me, meanwhile my sister has been grumbling tru out the house and has started using fork and knife to eat eba..lol

    • Ice Cold

      July 23, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      Hahhahhahaahahhaaahahhaaaaaa! I just can’t!

  40. sisina

    July 22, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    my younger sister had a classmate who lived near us. while in boarding school she told my sister said her mum had counted her sewing thread so she could not give my sister to mend her thorn house wear. my sister confronted her mum immediately they came home on holidays and the woman had to come apologise to my sister that her daughter was lyingl i still remember the story anytime i see the girl. shes and architect now

  41. damsel

    July 22, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    The cornflakes lie got me so badly.Nice one Isio.

  42. Uche

    July 22, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    Chai I have met several great liars but the best has to be my cousin’s mother in law and sister inlaw oh!! If they say good morning you berra look outside to see if night never fall oh!! Just all sorts of low budget type of lies that dont make no sense o jare. It’s actually so scary to watch them in action. They will tell you things that either never took place or they were not there. They will take other people’s stories and make it theirs so much so that when you hear the real person tell their story you will start wondering whether something so random could have happened to two people you know lol. The funniest part is that they believe that God should deal with people that lie and I’m like emmmmmmmmmm why art thou swearing for thy self oh lol!! I despise low budget liars men!! I think it’s cause we dont call them out that is why they think we are all mumu’s and believe what they say lol

  43. Visitor

    July 22, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    The worst liar I’ve ever met in my entire life is a girl named Oluchi. Oluchi did not tell hilarious lies, she told destructive and ridiculous ones… like lying that her sister was killed by Boko Haram… just so that she could get attention, money and sympathy. She forgot that we lived in a small town where everyone knows the truth. Some of her lies were big enough to break friendships and families. She lied so much that it became a challenge to believe a word she said. People who knew her habit often listened to her lies intently, just to see how far she would go with it, while laughing behind her back. I feel so sorry for her and and all the people she will catch in her web of lies… pathetic.

  44. sunday's Best

    July 22, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    dis got to me cause me sef i fit don lie and can’t remember but, the one i remember was a friend of mine at school the babe lie say her papa nah lawyer, even showed us a pic of him with black suit and tie, You know how all lawyer wear black and white, minewhile the man dey help her mama sell 2nd bra and pant for market, if nah only lying we for no mind d babe nah magnet she even went as far as stealing my fancy slippers crying, searching and swearing with me for the thief, only for me to visit her during hols and my slippers was in her house with loads of other peoples stuff, their couch cover nah pple badana wen she gba hard babe that was the last time i went to her house..

  45. Idak

    July 22, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    I just remembered those who lied about their wedding dresses being made in a matter of hours and days,as the wedding was a surprise and not planned.

    • Fatimah

      July 22, 2014 at 4:00 pm

      lmaooo… stop abeg!

    • nwanyi na aga aga

      July 22, 2014 at 4:10 pm

      Idak lol! respect yaself o… leave us alone, it was a surprise wedding ahn ahn!!

    • jcsgrl

      July 22, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      Haa! you had to go there and still lying to us on a weekly basis

    • Xena

      July 22, 2014 at 5:30 pm

      Toke Makinwa,we r still waiting for de white wedding and trad she promised us.Anyway chic can lie,she said her wedding was a surpise while wedding dress was made,hair made,family members invited and gettogether arranged.Babe can liar for Africa.

    • Just me

      July 22, 2014 at 5:54 pm

      Take am easy o Idak , very big white lie sha, I am still laughing my heads off “surprise wedding yet fabric was chosen and measurement taken and a pre-fitting also done., yet na still surprise wedding” Lie for federal government

    • TA

      July 22, 2014 at 7:02 pm

      Idak na you sabi o! It was a surprise wedding. Lol! 🙂

    • Mimi

      July 22, 2014 at 11:31 pm

      Hahahahahahahahahaha

    • Koffie

      July 26, 2014 at 11:15 am

      Hahahahaha. Guy

    • ekalor

      July 26, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      U think this is funny, I truly think this is disrespectful, to the spouse of this person especially TRULY. Let it go. Before now Idak, I really did like you..

  46. !fy

    July 22, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    i could pardon those lies from sec schl,but lies in uni as a grown ass girl,mehn i tire!met dis girl in uni who could lie for d world.On d day of Tuface nd Annie’s wedding in Dubai,she said her cousin attended d wedding,and she showed some friends some pics her so called cousin sent to her,i hppnd to b in her room at dt time,i asked her for d pics only for her 2 show me d same pics dt BN had uploaded,i got mad and asked her for her cousin’s pic but my babe said d cousin dint want to take a pic of herself @ d wedding,cos she was so busy taking pics of d celebs dere..i told her point blank dt she was lying cos dey were almost d same pics BN had uploaded jst dt hers dint av d BN tag so she cld av gotten it frm anoda blog,had to open BN and show d oda girls dt she was lying..

    • Tru

      July 23, 2014 at 12:49 am

      Seconded!!! As kids and teens one can say, Ok, we had a lot of growing up to do, but making up these stories as adults?! Wharrahell

  47. Loulou

    July 22, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    Heheheheheheheeeee, Isio ti pa mi oooo! I just dey laugh for office. I remember one big breasted big eyed girl called Patricia in primary school whose mother was a fish seller and she used to smell like “eja yiyan (roasted fish)”, yet she keeps insisting that she’s rich and her parents owns tons of buildings in Lagos. That girl can lie for africa! and she was a bully too so dem no born you well to say she’s lying o, u wan die be that!

    • LieSniffer

      July 22, 2014 at 8:29 pm

      Ahn ahn! Big breasted? primary school? U sef check your own na

    • Doxa

      July 22, 2014 at 10:54 pm

      Ahh, that one could be true o. I still remember 2 sisters who were in primary 6 when I was in primary 1, very matured and developed. I used to look forward to getting to primary 6 hoping my breasts would be fully developed like theirs by then.

  48. chloe

    July 22, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    lol, people can lie sha, there was this babe that said her mum changes car every day, that she matches the colour of car with her outfit. Red dress, Red car, etc….. QC girls i hail!!!!

  49. justmi

    July 22, 2014 at 3:52 pm

    Nice and hilarious one Isio!So where are all the people who used/still tell all these lies?They do not read BN or have refused to comment…or they are lying again that other people told the lies whereas they were the culprits….God is watching all of us o!Anyway,I want to believe that these people were just being immature,dumb and childish…anyone who tells such lies as an adult should simply go see a psychiatrist.

  50. www.eniwealth79.blogspot.com

    July 22, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    ROTFL. Isio, you have nailed it again. I remember a girl in my junior secondary school days whom we all used to hail for her lies in her absence. It was during one of our praise sessions that she incidentally came with a fresh one of how her dad got their seventh car during the last holiday. A friend who couldn’t take her lies any longer, knowing well that she was as dumb as not having general knowledge of certain things, asked her if they all had owners corner and she said, ”no, only the first four has owners corner that her dad is just working on getting owners corners installed in the other three.

    • asgrl

      July 23, 2014 at 7:18 am

      I dieeeee!

  51. Mz Debz

    July 22, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    Back in secondary school, I had this classmate who lied that his father had a 64 door limousine and that his father came to visit him but because the car was too long he couldn’t turn to enter camp (my secondary school was in Redemption camp). We all raced down to the entrance of camp (abeg no just try the distance from our former hostel to the then main and only gate) to see the car but he said the father was long gone.
    The day the devil had enough and wanted to disgrace him, his parents came when everyone was outside (twas a visiting day) and the car his Dad drove was………….(I’d rather not describe it) and to make matters worse, the car wouldn’t start when they wanted leaving. It took us (the students) to help push before the car started.
    He went on to become a lawyer, his lies now eh……I’m sure would raise the dead.

    • lol

      July 24, 2014 at 8:15 pm

      He is making use of his talents now at least. Making money off of it

  52. jcsgrl

    July 22, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    Isiiiooo DelaV! I have laughed, fell off my chair, held my tummy, wiped tears from my eyes at this article and the comments. I can’t even think of a story that compares to these ones. Abeg I will just have an early lunch and scroll back to read more comments. Keep it coming ppl!

    • Ice Cold

      July 23, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      You are not the only one. I was having a bad day at work until my colleague showed me this article. I don’t even know which is funnier- the article or the comment! Thank God for BN!

  53. FranklyChris

    July 22, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    I can bear listening to liars who regall that their parents counted know the number of spoons in their milk or bourvita tin, so as not to give you; but how can someone say her parents counted cornflakes and says she should eat 3 or 4 flakes a day. That girl deserves a Grammy! One who certainly earned an Oscar was my roomie in Uni. This guy was always going abroad every other semester break, but no picture or even toilet paper to show for it( considering he is someone that can bank cinema tickets and pop corn bags, to show you he visited the cinema). This pathological Lie’der(he is the leader of all liars I know) was a chronic fraud, that can tell you he has slept with all the girls you see him standing next to…he even said he :ad dated and slept with a friend of mine(who, unknown to him, was barely a week back in the country) could be that he slept with her, during one of his ‘hallucinating’ journeys abroad. He is so good, that I sometimes doubted and still do, if we were roommates!

  54. Carliforniabawlar

    July 22, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    Okay so I guess all the liars didn’t get access to the internet!! hhehehe…I shall come forth and confess the ONE ridiculous lie i told in boarding school….
    I swear i knew there was no point to it…I woke up one day and I think I was bored or something and decided to tell everyone my mum had a twin sister….very useless lie I know!! till today I just laff at the stupid stories I would make up for the rest of the term just to buttress my lie. Before the end of the term the lie tire me and decided if anyone ever mentioned this phantom twin-sister the next term I’d just have to kill her off during the holidays or something.
    Till date I wonder if any of my secondary school friends remember….if one day I would be getting married and they would ask for my mum’s twin…hehehe!! I would laugh ehn!!!
    I think a lot of the ‘fabus’ told were out of wanting to feel important but I swear I don’t know how people are able to keep up!! waaaayyyy too much work.
    My fav sec. school liar was a girl that would lie so much that when we were in ss3 we decided to give everyone nicknames…some folks got crazie, smartie, bustie,hippie,funnie, sportie, etc….hers was just ‘Bobo’…we didn’t even try ‘ie’ it…we didn’t care that it didn’t fit into our theme….we just christened her good’ol Bobo….shikena,

  55. AW

    July 22, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    I had this school mate in secondary school who was always boasting to us that every morning she eats eggs, bacon, ham and sausages for breakfast. One day after the school assembly she threw up, guess what? Big lumps of eba that had not digested. Ha! I know, sausages come in different size and shapes! Lol

    • Fite

      July 23, 2014 at 3:31 pm

      Buhahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! I just cant’nt

  56. puce

    July 22, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    This is so hilarious. i cudnot stop lafing. While at Uni i had a friend who was a pathological liar. she’s still is though. She told us they have a mischievous cat at home. That they believe the cat is not a normal cat. So one day her senior sister decided to kill the cat after doing all what not to send it away. So she lit up the oven, left it to get really hot then put the cat into it. After 45mins she opened the oven and the cat jumped out as if it had been under a blanket. The worst part of it is that my cousin is married to this my friend. She ‘murders’ my cousin with lies.

    • Ice Cold

      July 23, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      You literally had me in stiches!!!!!!!;

  57. Chayil

    July 22, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    Liars! Liars!! Liars!!!
    I had a classmate then in Alliance Français, Ikoyi, that could bring down the heavens with her lies. She came late for class one day and was complaining about the distance from her house to school. I was like; “Babe, Surulere isn’t far from Ikoyi”. Sister said it’s not her, but her bobo thinks it’s far and cos of that, he has paid for one month for her to stay at Golden Gate Restaurant. I gave her a very disgusting look and walked away. She knows all the celebs in Nigeria. She once told us Ufuoma Ejenobor is Kenyan and the white top she used for Glo billboard advert is hers. Ah! Bebe can lie for continent.

  58. Blessmyheart

    July 22, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    Every one is talking about others who lied. Any way, I remember lying in JS3 that my elder brother in SS3 borrowed my books to prepare for his SSCE bcos I lost some of my JS1 books *covers face in shame*. Needless to say, I quickly realised I wasn’t a good liar. By God’s grace, I avoid lying and liars at all cost.

    • eyeballs

      August 8, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      wow!!!!! That was a lie of innocence

  59. funmi Reese

    July 22, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    Chai! People can lie for Africa particularly students. I guess it’s borne out of a need to be the centre of attention.
    I remember one Bimbo who had a brother in FGC Ijanikin then, always gisting us her wide eyed audience about how migraine used to turn the guys in Ido Ani into crazy guys.
    She regaled us with tales and stories of what this boys used to get up to when they had Migraine, beating the principal,staging riots and so on.
    Imagine when I got to know what migraine really was.
    Smh.

  60. sussy

    July 22, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    Loool. Where do I start 4rm sef,is it my junior in school that cliamed dat hannah montana’s dad and hers were besties nd they all went for her sweet sixteen bday(her father is a sparepart dealer btw)or a friend dat had “washing machine”for her barbie doll or the guy whose father’s driver na whiteman nd who picked a random pic of a house in lekki and sed it ws his fathers new house(old random house o) I feel most of dem just want to escape deir reality.

  61. keep calm

    July 22, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    we should forgive the lies of primary and secondary school because at the time a child’s imaginative is hyperactive which is why we tend to say the most outrageous things with a straight face. after age 15/16, i dont think those lies can be pardoned anymore. for me, i had a very active imagination, still do and sometimes, i projected my imaginations into others. hell, in primary 3, while writing those ‘how i spent my last holidays essay’ i wrote the most outrageous things and i remember the teacher was so impressed and i probably scored the highest. another time in primary 5, i told my classmates that my dad was a pilot and my mother was a doctor. to me those were the ultimate occupations and i would have liked them to be true at the time. in secondary school though, i wasnt one of those ”bobo gisters” i think i left my fib days in primary school.

    • Tincan

      July 22, 2014 at 11:56 pm

      I have to say I was one of those kids with a really fertile imagination. I told my fair share of lies too. Gave up at age 13/14, not even sure why. But I only lied to specific people, again not sure why. I told one of my friends that my Mums wedding dress had multicoloured layers that ‘refreshed’ itself and was battery operated – Cinderella tins – when I think of that lie, it was so senseless. I also remember telling same friend that we had two living rooms instead of one and that the one she was allowed to be in was the children’s one. Lol. Now, I seldom tell a lie and even if I do, I’ll nearly die of guilt. Not worthit.com

  62. cindy

    July 22, 2014 at 11:39 pm

    Nice article…isio I love u#no homo#

  63. cindy

    July 23, 2014 at 12:14 am

    I remember wen I was in secondary sch js 2,I wore a White t-shirt to school with the inscription’I am the smartest girl in the whole world’at the front of the shirt.my classmates asked me where I got the shirt from I told them my mum bought d White shirt for me and I inscribed the words myself with a printing machine we have @ home.they were all perplex and some of them told me they will bring white shirt for me to print their names on it….I felt on top of the world.n d truth was my mum bought d shirt just like dat from the market.hehe he

  64. Bolanle

    July 23, 2014 at 4:12 am

    Wait, wait wait! Why did you use my name? Of all the Yoruba names in this world you chose Bolanle? kini gbogbo iranu yi??

    • Another Bolanle

      July 23, 2014 at 10:08 am

      Are you the only Bolanle in the world? Abegi.

  65. Liar Liar Bum on fire

    July 23, 2014 at 10:25 am

    All the comments are lies
    hahaha

    Liar liar bum on fire

  66. Amiphat

    July 23, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    Hilarious Isio.

    My encounter with ‘the worst liars’ had to do with Lagos girls who came to school in the north (any FGC Maid or ABUSITES in the house?)

    It seems they ALL went on holidays abroad and came back to school with funky clothes, bags from Harrods and apples fresh from Sainsburys.

    Little did small time Zaria girl like me I know that EVERYTHING could be purchased at Tejuosho or in Lagos Island (Harrods bags included). By the time I visited some of the girls in Lagos….. Let’s just say, I doubt they knew what Nigerian passports looked like.

    But WHY?

  67. Flames

    July 23, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    I had a bf who can teach d devil 1 or 2 tins abt lying. He 1ce told me dat he was stabbed in d chest by his ex’s bf cos he went 2 ask d babe 4 d moni she was owing him, n dats y he missed val’s day n couldn’t call me cos he was in d hospital. He even had a bandage ova it 2 prove his story n he was telling me dis story in my skul less dan a week aft val’s day. Like if u wia stabbed in d chest, would u b able 2 walk arnd less dan a week after it.
    Like there are lies dat u cannot jst tell sombody bt dis guy will fearlessly tell u a gigantic lie dat will put d fear of d almighty in2 u. He 1ce promised my cuz dat so liked him dat he’ll take her out. C babe was so happy, was busy getting ready. I knew who I was dealing wit so warned my cuz nt 2 have 2 much hope. Morning of d d-day came n he called me n said I should tell my cuz 2 get ready by 12. By 11.30 I called him, he didn’t pick. 12.00, still no show, 12.30, nothing. My cuz was getting angry. 1.00, 2.00, 3.00 still nothing. I had called n called n got tired of calling. Arnd 3.30, his best friend n partner in crime called me n told me dat he was arrested bt dat I shouldn’t worry dat he’s going 2 bail him out nw. 4.30 d bobo called me begin story of hw ESWAMA(waste management) arrested him as he was leaving his house in d morning, dat dey wia arresting anybody dey saw in d streets n dats wat happened, I jst dropped d call n started laffing.
    I have met a lot of liars bt d bobo still remain d unshakeable king

    • Ice Cold

      July 23, 2014 at 3:38 pm

      Hahhahhahhahhaaaàa! I have died and resurrected.

  68. Happy baby

    July 23, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    All these primary and secondary school can be forgiven. Lying stupidly after a certain age, you need to be checked. A colleague of mine at work that comments regularly here on BN, lies a lot even on her comment. I read one of her comment on her trip to abuja, chei I was beyond shocked. Her lies just gets me angry because it’is so uncalled for, she just wants to have a say. It sad because you are naturally inclined to disbelieve everything she says even when she is honest.

  69. bee

    July 23, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    we’ve all told one incredulous lie or others while growing up. when u remember them you just shake ur head and laugh.

  70. Owelle

    July 24, 2014 at 12:50 am

    After dating a professor of lies for 6 yrs, I’ve become an advanced lie detector. I can identify a lie from a mile away and I find them really annoying. Very funny article tho. Nice one Isio

  71. [email protected]

    July 24, 2014 at 3:49 pm

    Lair if the century is Juliet E .The babe knew she was going to have a spill over, when our names were released for NYSC i go check names , see all our friends names but hers, i called her in concern that her name wasnt there, na so babe start they shout for phone that my school was a useless school and her daddy would come and sort out the mess. For for her class rep to tell me that she had an extra year. Babe went on to spill for almost three years and whenever you ask her she go say Ukpong has refused to release my CSC 201 result…..msheeeeew

  72. lol

    July 24, 2014 at 6:48 pm

    OMG!!! I was eating a spicy lunch at work when I read the third lie not only did I choke. The pepper went down the wrong pipe….. For the Bolanle’s of this world, I have met many of them so I just waka pass, the senior that one at least is just self deceit everyone else knows that it is a lie. As long as it does not hurt me deceive your self well well.

  73. dammype

    July 24, 2014 at 11:29 pm

    Cnt just stop laffing,love dis post.isio pls y cnt u be making dis post everyday,I cnt just do wihout reading ur posts.love u!!!

  74. Egee

    July 25, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    I had a day-student classmate back then in FGGC Owerri. She came to school on a friday,had classes and went back home at 2;45pm only for her to come back to school on monday with a british accent saying she travelled over the weekend to London! London ko Yugoslavia ni . Federal students can lie ehn. We needed it to survive;Either from your seniors or for FAME.

  75. Koffie

    July 26, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Okay, I lied in junior school that my grandfather had pet snakes. It had been a fib told by grandpa to scare me but even after finding out it was a fib, I continued telling my schoolmates the same. They gats fear my badass grandpa naw

  76. lady

    July 29, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    See ehn I probably knew who the greatest liar was/is….she lied so much,she lied herself out of uniben….i have not seen her in seven years so I don’t if she has changed.
    Dumebi/Valery/vicky/Stacey /whatever name she was going by that week would lie strong lies that would make you go and check your admission letter to be sure you are not on another campus.
    she wrote jamb in 100lvl again cause she wanted to study law instead of FOL that she was studying and told us she got 297 and that her brother was among the highest scoring people with like 350,we saw the guy during pume,he told us he had 210.
    she went to the health center once,came back and told us they treated her for Amnesia,all of us she told that rubbish were life science students but we were so confused we talked about it for weeks.
    she lied about how wealthy her dad was,one cultist thinking to himself he had hammered sorta kidnapped her,thinking to force money out of her dad..he beat shege outta her when money no show….lol,,heard she has a child now,hope she doesn’t pass the lying spirit to the child

    • eyeballs

      August 8, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      Whatttt! Treated fpr Amnesia and she remembered it? AMAZING & Hilarious!

  77. aleesha

    July 30, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    i remember telling a roomate in sec. sch that my dad is an astronaut. i swear i meant it as a joke, but she actually believed me!

  78. latifa

    August 7, 2014 at 8:05 am

    Hahaha….isio won’t kee me. Anyways i have heard lies that even the devil will shout “Blood of Jesus”. This babe *nomentioninghername* was a pathological liar and still is. Growing up together she would tells us her never ending impossible stories we would always go to house to listen to her lies, ranging from telling us to look outside our windows at 12midnight that we would see 12 spirits without heads having a meeting in the middle of the road, we were to scared to check so wldnt dare open our windows. She also told us told us when we look closely into the lawn in front of our house by bending down,looking into the grass and closing the corner of our eyes that we wld see the devil and satan fighting…..Lmao as if they aren’t thesame. The worse part is we were so hypnotised by her lies that we wld actually attest to seeing “the devil and satan” fighting. Or is when she told us that when passing the small bridge close to our house, on touching the bridge we shld bite our fingers or else we wld die…being kids and afraid of death we go bite our finger na. Plus in our defence we were still in primary school…lol so forgive our stupidity. One time she even said when it was about to rain the wind took her up and held her in the air for good 15mins and all she was saying was “mummy Jesus” The list is endless I cld go on and on. Even till today she still lies….smh

  79. jennie

    August 12, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    My cuzin lies about everytin…1 time we were suposd 2 travel 2geda n afta supposedly aving n spending our agreed pocket moni ova n ova again,she backed out wiv d excuse of wanting 2 visit her countryhome wiv her dad…so imagine my shock wen oda fwends call to say”ur cuz’s aving fun @ d school reunion”n so I call her n she had d gall to say village parties were da bomb…..or is it calling my bf,acting like she was drunk n den pings me 2 ask him neva to call her again…she even called him my ex….dis lies are jez a tip of d iceberg.

  80. Zeal

    August 19, 2014 at 11:53 am

    LMAOOOOOOOOO, Isior of Life, na wah ooo. Hilarious I must say. Reping F.G.C Odogolu

  81. Meg

    August 27, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    Isiooooooooo!!!!!!!! E yaf kee somebody ooooo!!!!! I can’t deal ooo, ochi ga-egbu mmadu for hia! (laugh will kill somebody here)

  82. yettyclassy

    September 2, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    Loooooooool! My mother thinks something z wrong with me! I m literally crying…. I’ve laughed so much my ribs hurt! “Those slaps that gat u clutching ur head and squinting at the sky” I didn’t get to c d rest before the tears started flowing out of too much laughter… Thanks isio! Who counts cornflakes btw? Loooool

  83. xoxo

    October 19, 2014 at 2:31 am

    Lool… I have a high tendency to make up stuff. .I could gist season 1 to 4 of a movie that never happened. ..but that’s just I like to tell stories and play pranks.

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