At about 11pm on a random Thursday night, I was cozied up in bed debating whether to watch Orange is The New Black or a new Nigerian movie I recently purchased at Afriville. Just as I made my choice and flipped on my chill button, I suddenly somersaulted out of bed and ran to the ironing table! Chill for what?! That chill button can die a thousand deaths right at this moment.
Why, you ask? Because I remembered I had an event the next evening and had not sorted out my “who dem be?” baffs. As you know, your girl is a learner and prior to this, I thought a photographer was meant to be invisible, as in it’s not about you, your job is to capture images and not be the image. Right? Wrong-est!
SUNDAY BEST IS ALWAYS BEST
I learnt this valuable lesson when a TV station put together a runway show and I showed up in my old faithful -leggings, black shirt and super comfortable shoes! So I rolled up in there feeling invisible with my friend Deola, who thankfully is always on hand to remind me that I have a show to cover. We got there early, took prime position and then he walked in!
Picture this in slow-mo, a tall guy pulling a black leather stroller behind him, walking around the marquee, his jacket moving dramatically as though there was a fan following him around. Wearing dark shades(indoors o) and dressed in a “kill em” black suit, air kissing all the socialites and making small talk with the cool kids, people trying to get his attention left and right; this guy had everyone eating out of his hands. I kept wondering who he was, I flipped through the Lagos socialite hand book in my mind wondering “who is this guy”?
When he was done, he made a beeline towards the photographers pit and that was when it dawned on me that this guy was actually a photographer!
He might as well have shot me with a shakabula for all I know because in my mind I was already laid down dead with birds circling around my head.
But why the Sunday best? His suit almost rivaled that of my pastor and you know Lagos pastors cannot be out-baffed when it comes to suits!
During an intermission, it was time to do pictures of guests and you can imagine that most of them just gravitated towards him. The icing on the cake was when a supermodel (and I do mean super, she’s really big) was posing for pictures and when I tried to get her to look in my camera, she totally turned towards this guy and almost gave me her back!
Ha! I felt like should have started playing a violin solo and singing #RIP to that moment or even better the right soundtrack would have been Phyno’s Ghost Mode because just like he said “she no dey see me!” If invisible like a ghost is what I was going for, then I nailed it!
So, now you can understand my urgency! With a vengeance, I am ironing my “don’t test me” trousers that I only save for day meetings and eyeing my treacherous leggings that I have unceremoniously tossed in the corner. If I vex any further I might carry my heels along and do my hair and serious make-up and even wear sunglasses indoors! Yes, it is that serious; the chill button don’t live here anymore!
So that’s my lesson for the day and I will not rest till I have people sufficiently confused as to whether I am there as a VIP/VVIP/ guest of honor/ friend of the organizer/ the organizer gangan or just a regular photographer!
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Michael Zhang