It is really important to spend time with your partner before you decide to marry them. I mean really spend time with them, i.e. co-habitiate. To clarify what I mean by co-habitation, I mean frequent and periodic “sleepovers”.
I was speaking to a friend about this over the weekend. She was surprised by the idea, and I reminded her that this concept is not new. Couples these days spend time at each other’s houses, especially if they both live abroad. In Nigeria however, things might be a little more complicated. If the girl still lives with her parents, it might be much harder for her to justify her absence from home. To her parents, there are probably no circumstances that would allow her new friend to spend the night at hers or vice versa. However, should this ban on sleepovers change?
A lot of the time women speak excitedly about getting married and what they would do in their marital home. They get pressured to find a man, however what happens once they get married? Women everywhere talk about how there is no guidance for them once married; they are just expected to wing it. One way to find out how things might be when you are married to the love of your life is by sleeping over periodically. You will find out his daily routine, his habits and what he expects from you on a daily basis. Call me naïve but things aren’t supposed to change too drastically in terms of how you both relate with one another once married. Working on that premise, then co-habitation is a perfect way to figure out what will happen before the wedding day. As I am writing this, I can already see Mama Funke’s disapproving eyes.
You may then argue, but these are things she will eventually have to get used to once she is married, so what’s the point? Yes that may be so, but there might be certain traits she dislikes and can either choose to get used to earlier, work with her partner to change, or it might be a deal breaker and she can promptly exit the building before it is too late. Co-habitation eases the transition for both people once married and allows them to make more informed choices.
Why make the early years of marriage more difficult than it need be? Co-habitate!
What do you think?
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Michael Zhang