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Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: There’s No Water To Flush the Toilet With



With the emergence of the Ebola pandemic in West Africa and even Nigeria, there has been a lot of awareness given to hygiene and ancillary issues. In Nigeria, there were awareness campaigns on what to do to prevent the spread of the virus. Washing of hands, and how to even wash said hands became the focal point of many health workers. Wash your hands under running water, not in a wash hand basin. Yes, running water.

You see, running water is a luxury in Nigeria. Let’s not kid ourselves and say it is not. One of the major reasons I panic when there’s a power cut that lasts longer than 3 days is the absence of water. ‘No light’ means ‘no water’. How will we put on the water pump without incurring the costs of running the diesel guzzling power generator? Water doesn’t flow from our taps without us assisting it by drilling boreholes (which cost an arm and a leg). It’s either that or you have water tankers supply your in-house tank with water – which you in turn pump into your house. God help you if there’s no ‘Big gen’ available. Or if your neighbour, whose generator the water pump is connected to, travels… and NEPA is on break. You’d have to resort to having ‘Mai ruwa’ bring you kegs of water on a weekly basis.

The absence of readily available running water is why we are skilled in the art of washing up with ‘bucket and bowl’. Buckets are tools of preparedness. Imagine being in the shower and the water stops running? Don’t panic. Just reach out for the bowl inside your back up bucket and wash the soap off your face.

The absence of running water is probably the explanation for why Nigerians have very little regard for toilets and toilet ethics. For a room that is very susceptible to harbouring a lot germs and infections, is there a reason why we don’t make a little more effort to make them nice and clean?

To understand our issue with toilets, we have to take a few steps back to our thoughts on the function of a toilet. If you’ve ever gone house hunting in Lagos, woe betide you if you ask an agent or a landlord why the bathroom facilities are not bigger or better. Between builders and architects there seems to be a disregard for an adequate number of bathroom facilities. You find an office building with an average of 20 people on one floor having to ‘just manage’ two toilets. One of the toilets would be padlocked of course. That’s for the oga‘s exclusive use. The minions can share the other one. Is there a reason why property owners ‘hoard’ toilets? Or is it just part of the Nigerian deal of making things more difficult for people when you can make it easier?

The short supply of available toilets, coupled with the absence of running water makes this fundamental facility a big deal. Add that to the fact that not enough people have the basic knowledge of toilet ethics and you have a BIG societal problem. A substantial part of this problem comes from the fact that many people have the ‘Na So I meet Am'(NSIMA) mentality. Na so I meet am is a close relative of ‘Everybody is kuku doing it’ (EIKDI). The NSIMA is why a person would pee and not flush the toilet… because the toilet wasn’t flushed when they got there. They only contributed their quota to an already dirty toilet. (This is oddly reminiscent of the whole Nigerian picture). From boarding school, to Fagunwa hall, nobody tells the Jane Joe that the right thing to do is to discard the NSIMA attitude. So, Jane never sees what is wrong with it, and so the cycle continues. Good hygiene practice flies out of the window, but let’s blame that on the absence of water.

Then there’s also the issue of inherent dirty behaviour. Some people are JUST disgustingly dirty. The fact that you take dumps in your toilet doesn’t mean it has to be dirty. If you use a toilet, be sure to leave it sparkling clean… even if you have to pour 8 buckets of water down the bowl. Your toilet bowl should be so clean that someone can eat off it. Really! If you notice stains, don’t leave it for the landlord… buy baking soda (if it’s a stubborn stain) and clean it. If there’s no running water, ensure that there’s a drum constantly filled with water. And a bucket and bowl of course. Forget what you heard about buckets being crude. It’ll do in this case.

Employers should also note that providing a functional room for your staff is not a luxury… it’s a basic necessity. You can’t have your staff having to stroll to TFC every time they have to use the bathroom. Let’s not even address the issue of how dirty some restaurant toilets are. LawdyLordLawd!

If you go and visit someone and you run out of water after you’re done with your business, the most polite thing to do is to inform your host that you need some water to push your load down the pipes. There’s no point leaving a mess because you’re too ashamed to say there’s no water.

I know this article is about water-ish , but can we address the issue of hiding of toilet paper? Ah I’m about to go off point now, so I’ll stop here.

Let’s ponder upon these things. The may seem irrelevant in the big scheme of things but you’d be amazed at how these things form the building blocks of our society.

Oh, don’t forget to share some of your toilet stories, because toilets are soooo underrated.  I hear some people don’t like the word ‘toilet’… but it is what it is. If it’s clean, airy and dry, I bet you won’t have any problems saying that word out loud… TOILET! 😀 Oh, and if someone knows why we can’t just have water flowing through our taps… please tell us. Or is it one of those things that Nigerians should never expect to have? Like constant electricity? Good roads? Functional healthcare system? The horn of a unicorn?

Have an awesome month ahead! Be healthy, be clean, be selfless and be hygienic.

Peace, love & cucumber.


Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Michael Zhang

You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website for more information.


  1. mae

    December 1, 2014 at 9:37 am

    I love you Atoke
    Strange topic but it really needed to be spoken about

  2. Annie

    December 1, 2014 at 9:51 am

    That toilet matter, a very important one ni ooo, i hate it when i enter the toilet and meet yellow pee, meanwhile there is water to flush ni ooo, why would some pee yellow pee and not flush, i hate it when i have to be the one to flush. But ehm at home when there is no light, no water, i pee all day without flushing ni ooo and when there is still no hope of light, i step out, get water from the well, fill the ‘flusher’? flush, then refill it again cos early morning is usually the time for No2 nd i most definitely would need to flush that one with immediate alacrity, don’t want to come bck home and meet a smelling toilet biko nu! I also hate it when some pees and pour just a bowl of water in the toilet…what is that? 🙁

  3. LMBO Troll

    December 1, 2014 at 9:58 am

    That awkward moment when you were reading the article and you start imagining major dump you’ve seen in your life…. Oh lawd.

  4. Personal Assistant

    December 1, 2014 at 10:45 am

    Biko, what of when there is water running well and you still meet skid marks????
    When I was sharing a room with an aunt we had water issue, we had a bin to put the used tissue and we dispose them in the morning when we Wake. I remember when I visited a colleague at home, (family house of just 4 people) i wanted to use the toilet, when i entered, my flat ass swallowed back the thing Inside. No be me go bring disease home. I was wondering how papa and mama dey enter that kin place.
    Some times I think it dépends on the environment some people were raised. They just cant see the reason for a clean toilet. To them, it’s just a toilet, not a kitchen so WTH.
    My sister brought a live-in maid and noticed she never uses the toilet. When confronted she said she does not know how to use it, so she does No 2 in a nylon bag in her room and throws in the bin. Come and see teaching of adult how to position and how to flush.

    • I Ren

      December 2, 2014 at 10:51 pm

      Lol!! ‘Skid marks‘ – funny description, nasty occurrence.

  5. myss omolola

    December 1, 2014 at 10:56 am

    Welldone atoke! I love clean toilets like seriously and i always keep mine clean…. This is wierd though but i eat stolen meat inside my toilet…lol

    • somebody

      December 2, 2014 at 6:06 pm

      If it is your toilet I assume it is your house and therefore your meat? So why are you stealing your own meat?

  6. Dr. N

    December 1, 2014 at 11:01 am

    Where do I start from? Nigerians moan about “toilet disease”. This is a mysterious infection acquired by sitting on a dirty toilet. Will they clean d toilet? No. Rather they take a dump n “shot put” outside. The rain washes it into our water sources n voila! Typhoid, cholera n other diseases. I took my stand while in school by always scrubbing the bathroom b4 I took a bath each morning. Did my neighbours copy me? No! They queued up to use it afterwards.
    So, I join Atoke to appeal, let’s make d world a cleaner safer place, 1 toilet at a time.
    And concerning public restrooms n toilet paper. Why is there often a lady there asking u to “find her something” b4 she gives u toilet paper, biko nu? Hian!

    • Mz Socially Awkard...

      December 4, 2014 at 12:04 am

      Dr N, I swear that cleaning of toilet/bathroom was me in law school (as fear no gree me even near hostel toilet during the 1year I lived on campus in Uni and my off-site flat served me very well from 2nd year until graduation).

      Accommodation in law school basically consisted of 2-3 cojoined rooms sharing a toilet & bathroom (about 10 to maybe 12 females in all) and I would buy cleaning supplies out of my allowance to scrub the loo & shower with but did the other girls learn and adopt the same example? Not at all. Dem go hail you oh but wouldn’t raise a finger when it got dirty again.

      Lord. There’s something my mum told me growing up that has always guided my hygiene. She says that she doesn’t care how fancy (or otherwise) a person’s home is – her assessment of the homeowner will forever be strictly based on how clean their kitchens and bathrooms are.

      Meanwhile, Atoksy, this was a really good banter topic. I mean, how did we as a country become so used to a state of being where we do not have running water? For our forefathers in the 1800s, those ones can be excused for not expecting it in their time but for us in 2014, how???!!!

  7. prynced

    December 1, 2014 at 11:05 am

    Huum Atoke, dis banter is coming just when am still thinking of how the possibilty of a clean toilet in my home today or even water to do house chores, u see , no power supply since friday till d moment, the water stored has been exhausted, landlord won’t pump water(no fuel or wotever his reasons are cz he pumped on sunday morning), no mai ruwa around here, no borehole water traders where u can go fetch a bucket for N10 around my area in d estate, the man that gives free water down d lane has stopped due to power outage. Where do I get water oh , oga landlord has gone out. Chai! see story of my life this monday. Atoke do u know dat in my office the ass. ops manager regulates the no of tissue paper to be used in a day, reason been dat it is been wasted and den u get to the toilet and can’t find a tissue on the holder courtsey of madam, ok na, I. Just hope a mystery shopper finds it out someday and report it.

  8. Irene

    December 1, 2014 at 11:12 am

    Wonderful topic,I ve been unfortunate to leave wit someone who has no toilet hygiene,its alwaz so disgusting walking in to meet a mess. I believe a toilet shld be so clean that u don’t ve to go check before letting a guest use it.

  9. Irene

    December 1, 2014 at 11:13 am

    Wonderful topic,I ve been unfortunate to live wit someone who has no toilet hygiene,its alwaz so disgusting walking in to meet a mess. I believe a toilet shld be so clean that u don’t ve to go check before letting a guest use it.

  10. Geeeeee

    December 1, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Running water is not really a luxury,it all depends where you are residing pls, and dont make it look like Nigeria is some hell of a place..In Owerri, the water board is still very functional..Just pay your bills when due and you have your water running thru your taps…

    • k

      December 1, 2014 at 5:57 pm

      ehh which Owerri? since when? we had to have 3 Gp tanks cos there was never water and light

    • Ada-ada

      December 2, 2014 at 11:24 am

      Nne, please be real.. Which part of Owerri? How many homes? You are an exception not the rule so sorry, it doesnt count.

  11. Daisy

    December 1, 2014 at 11:35 am

    Gosh! I hate dirty toilets. This is the one reason I’m not gon rent an apartment with someone else ever again. Some people were just not taught basic hygiene and it irks me more wen d said culprit is female. Like TF? Nah

    • Diuto

      December 3, 2014 at 3:24 pm

      Hello, pls why the emphasis on the female? Are you saying guys are allowed to be dirty. Pls the same rule applies for both sexes afterall they both do no 1 n 2 aka pee n poo. No one shud leave a toilet dirty its a baf habit

  12. Neo

    December 1, 2014 at 11:38 am

    Cant contribute to this weird topic bcos we posh chics simply dont “torlet”!

    • Annie

      December 1, 2014 at 11:44 am

      when a supposed posh girl uses the toilet, please wait for an hour before going into the toilet or the smell she leaves behind would suffocate you! Who ‘torlets’ more than supposed posh babes? mtchew!

    • Neo

      December 1, 2014 at 3:01 pm

      Here honey, i actually cut and paste for you because I assumed following a link might be just as tedious as an elementary understanding of sarcasm “A tongue of which the user speaks of something the complete opposite of what the user means. It often has the best comedic value.” (via UrbanDictionary)

    • D

      December 1, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      OMG!!! Where is your sense of humor this Morning and all the 62 people that liked the comment???. Have you heard of the statement ” tongue in cheek” ?? Geez louisee I know someone that says mothers don’t #2 . Plusseeeehhh shish. Get your sense of humor and come back and read her comment and google tongue in cheek while you are at it so you can get where she is coming from.

    • Easy n Gentle

      December 1, 2014 at 5:19 pm

      Second comment that I’ve noticed “doing-your-business” being referred to as number 2. What’s the story behind it? Do tell please #DontStoryForTheGods me ooo


    December 1, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    I used to have a very dirty roomie back then. And being who I am, I really don’t know how to be frontal about certain things. I just clean and the very annoying part was, she used to give me the ”your wahala is too much” look and pretend to unconsciously litter places I just cleaned or even while I’m still cleaning.

  14. Temitope

    December 1, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    It is so disheartening to know the attitudes of people to toilet. However,sanitation can not be overemphasised enough. It begins with you and me!

  15. Que

    December 1, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    Hmm…. where do I begin with toilet woes… In my first, uni after my first and only experience with toilet infection, I spent a year travelling bout 20-30mins, when the need arose, to a bank or eatery to use any good toilet outside school…till I changed address.

    I completely agree with your tales of water and light….story of my life since last yr in lagos. My own toilet habit is to ensure water is on ground, by any means, before I proceed….else I carry my kaya elsewhere. I ensure same for my guests on d days when light plus water corporation fall my hand and d taps fail, buckets save d day.

  16. Truth Teller

    December 1, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    I believe one of the major challenges we have in this part of the world is lack of enlightenment. If most people were enlightened, they would understand the basics about hygiene and wouldn’t treat the issue of clean toilets as if it was not important or essential. You’ve mentioned it all Atoke. Where do we start from? Airports?schools( I went to a university somewhere in zaria and Never used their toilets because it’s better imagined than written, horrendously filthy doesn’t even begin) , e.t.c. I HATE dirty, smelly, filthy, water-logged toilets! I HATE dirt.

  17. ayafftayad

    December 1, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    I post as Annie, they steal that moniker. I post as Mae, they steal that too,. *rme*

  18. Thatshychic

    December 1, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    ‘Between builders and architects there seems to be a disregard for an adequate number of bathroom facilities’… Ah, Atoke I have nothing but love for you, but as an architect, I beg to differ on that. We have standards we comply with. Let these greedy landlords and the quacks they hire to build not pour sand sand in our garri o!

    Back to the matter, I once shared an apartment with my cousin. Fantastic girl, but she’s probably the most forgetful being to walk this planet. She’d use the toilet and simply forget to flush. I spent a year of my life cleaning up after an adult. It was easier to clean up after her than constantly remind her to clean up. She’s a mom now and we fear she might forget her baby somewhere someday.

    Then don’t get me started on people who won’t wash their hands after using the loo. I cringe whenever that happens!

  19. beverly

    December 1, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    Ha,I HATE dirty toilet.I hate to c any piece of sh*t or yellow pee in any toilet.I usually flush n clean d seat of any public toilet before using.Iave several querrels wit friends n room mates over dis issue.
    I will rather hold my pee dan risk infection o.

  20. Jagbajantis

    December 1, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    A few years ago, I was invited to a neighbour’s house on my street for a house-warming. As me and my kin entered the crib’s compound, the delicious whiff of fried puff puff, grilled ram and party jollof rice greeted us. Oh, it was about to be on.

    I needed to take a leek, so I ventured into the guest loo. Big mistake of life. The place resembled the toilet at Murtala Mohammed International Airport but without the plastic kettles. First of all, someone had laid a large egg and hadn’t bothered to flush it (it looked like it would need a bucket of water for that – it was the huge). Then the toilet bowl itself had massive skidmarks – like a mega truck had laid down tyre marks on the roadmap to hell. Then I saw strands on hair on the toilet seat itself. The agbekpo stick (toilet brush) itself looked nasty.

    I felt like running back out, but there were loads of the guests just outside in the living room. I couldn’t trust myself not to throw up all over the visitors if I did that. So I was there like 30 secs, holding my nose shut, and not daring to breathe through my mouth, while screaming internally “somebody help me please..”

    After 30 seconds, I rushed out, and as I opened the door, I saw an older man waiting outside as he wanted to use the toilet too. I advised “Good luck, you will need it.”

    He looked at me puzzled, as he had started tugging at the trouser strings of his traditional brocade. I added this before I finally waltzed past “One more thing, it wasn’t me…”

    And I bailed the hell out of dodge. Yep, went straight home. I am on the belief that if your toilet and kitchen are not clean, I cannot eat in your house. Yep – unless it is boarding school., and then I didn’t have a choice.

    So I walked out – past the grilled ram and goat meat, small chops, steak and kidney pie, jollof rice, ofada rice, coconut rice, fried rice, mass production rice, rice featuring beans, pounded yam, orishirishi, agidi jollof, jollof beans, egusi, okra, vegetable soups, isi ewu, ofe aku etc.

    Nonsense and rubbish…

    • I Ren

      December 2, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      Lololololllll! Ehhh heheheheee!! Chaiii!
      This ya comment have wipe the vex (indignation) with which I was going to respond to Atoke. Make I talk here first.
      After mouthing the word. ‘agbekpo‘ (first time I‘ve come across it), I read your description of said stick. Mchewww. I‘m still hissing.
      I just don‘t get. Toilet brushes are so cheap. There is very little as horrible as a worn out, permanently discoloured toilet brush. That‘s for when it‘s *clean, o. When it is not… smh. I just smh. The matter is long.
      As in, I was glad you got in that little piece of reputation-saving info; we don‘t want papa thinking fine girl/boy like you was responsible for unmentionables. Mchew.
      Biko, I can be vexing all over again. Lemme reread that loooong list of delicacies at the tail of your comment and see if I will laugh again jere.

  21. Easy n Gentle

    December 1, 2014 at 5:36 pm

    My journey with toilets began during my pre-degree days, we were sixteen boys using one WC. In every one’s mind, they were the cleanest. You could never investigate who stained the toilet. So my first month away from home, I didn’t toilet at all (weirdo I know). By month’s end, I ran home, went straight to the toilet and spent almost an hour doing-the-business.

    Seeing that the monthly thing wasn’t feasible on a regular (I was wounding people with my fart), I reduced it to every weekend until popsy started complaining about me coming home weekly. Omo boy had to readjust, I bought an additional bucket, washed the toilet before going in, and used the other to flush afterwards. Needless to say, one bucket for washing usually wasn’t enough to ensure cleanliness before using but thank God for the well nearby. Men have seen things sha but we thank God

  22. chinco

    December 1, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    @jagbajantis… Unfortunately the guy will think you messed up the place… Also having a huge crowd in a house for a party means someone has to keep checking up to clean up cus the guests may be at fault but the host takes the blame. The kettle is inexcusable and disgusting though

  23. D

    December 2, 2014 at 12:43 am

    @Easy and gentle there are toilets that have #1 flushing and #2 flushing. it is part a move in developed countries to conserve water. When you push #1 (pee flush) the water is less than the water for #2 hence #2 for doing “the do”

  24. Ada-ada

    December 2, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    Toilet matters shaa.
    I was a lowly toilet cleaner in Junior secondary school. I refuse to call to mind the horrors I saw. How i escaped skin infections is a mystery.
    Side note: Now that i think of it, is it right that 10-13 year olds (some who can barely wash their own undies) are cleaning toilets for the whole school? why not employ adults to clean like in Universities?
    The Nigerian embassy in the UK is a microcosm of our dear country with its one toilet – ONE TOILET for the hundreds of men and women and children that troop there daily.
    Meanwhile I’m sure the nearest train station Charing Cross has a minimum of 6 toilets each for gents and ladies. Its just a little indication of how a nation addresses provision of a basic utility.
    Me and my house shaa, we shall keep our toilets sam sam.

    • I Ren

      December 2, 2014 at 10:42 pm

      One toilet. Sad.
      Very sad.

  25. I Ren

    December 2, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    To your side note – I query the rationale with you, biko. What nonsense? I still don‘t know how I survived my chores at boarding school. I who would break out in boils if three or four bacteria jumped on my skin; antibiotics became my multivitamins.
    That rag we mopped the floors with – it‘s still a horrible memory. If I could throw my hands away afterwards, I would have. It was so traumatic for me that a friend of mine began helping me out. There were cleaners, but for some odd reason we had to clean in the morning before the cleaners cleaned, and then at night when the cleaners did not. Which kind? Not like we were given cleaning products o, much less disinfectants. Lord Jesus. I will sha ask before putting my kids in boarding school.

  26. I Ren

    December 2, 2014 at 11:16 pm

    Okay, na, Atoke. You no wan make I sleep this night ni yen. My toilet tales are many.
    I‘ve always been grateful for my camel-like bladder. It means I don‘t have to pee more than once between leaving the house and returning in the evening (or finding a sane loo). If the toi has the potential to traumatise, I will kuku maintain myself for a few more hours.
    I don‘t like smells. They bug me. But skid marks in a toi I dislike even more.
    Or wet tissue on toilet floors. Or wet tissue in sinks. Or the thousand other nasty things people leave behind in toilets.
    I once shared a home with older housemates. Hm. Too many times I left the bathroom with a scrunched up face. Is it that they couldn‘t see the skid marks? Was I supposed to be cleaning up after them, ni? I seriously considered putting up a sign that read, ‘It wasn‘t me.‘ I thought the only thing worse than the discomfort I suffered was to be secretly blamed for the mess.
    My firm distaste for toi leftovers means I have spent many annoying, frustrating or embarassing minutes hovering over a toilet, waiting for the cistern to fill up so I can flush again. If it is not spotless, I ain‘t leaving the stall. When I finally emerge, I might wonder who has been counting the flushes. Sometimes all I‘ve done is pee, o. The tissue in the bowl and the poor water pressure will just be playing games at my expense.
    One time, it took me twelve flushes to sort a toilet. Hm. I should have been embarassed, but I was annoyed. This house had a particularly terrible low pressure. To make matters worse, no bucket in sight (it wasn‘t in Naija); all I could use was this tiny dustbin in the bathroom.
    There‘s another reason it took me forever. It‘s cos if I‘m sharing a toilet with more than one (trusted) person, I shall line the seat with tissue and provide some anti-splash cushioning.
    No harm must come to my ‘parts‘ because of other people‘s misdeeds, jere.

  27. Diuto

    December 3, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    Since everyone is a neat freak, I wonder where the people that get the toilets dirty are located

  28. Mz Socially Awkard...

    December 4, 2014 at 12:22 am

    … by the way, I feel any reminiscences about unflushed toilets would be incomplete without asking whether anyone has experienced the trauma of holding one’s pee on a good 13hr bus journey from Abz to Victoria station because you’re terrified of what the loo will look like after the first four hours? You think Nigerians are the only ones who have terrible toilet hygene? Hian, take a long haul trip on Megabus and enter their toilets, make oyibo show you another level of nastiness.

    • I Ren

      December 4, 2014 at 2:21 pm

      Lolol! Thankfully I‘ve only done around 6-hour trips with Megabus. And I only tried to use their loo once. I didn‘t go in because I found the slender door quite off-putting; plus, the pee smell reached us in our seats. I just wasn‘t ready for drama. Never tried after that.

  29. Crystal

    December 15, 2014 at 11:03 am

    I had to cringe when you mentioned washing of hands. It’s the one thing I can’t stand after dirty toilets.

    My former office used to have water scarcities and when I ask the cleaners for a bucket to scoop water with, they offer to help. I always decline cos someone flushing my stuff is just not appealing.

    I ensure my home’s bathroom and toilet is washed everyday cos I just can’t deal with a dirty toilet. I’ve paid my dues in that regard in university.

    I don’t even want to remember my stay with my cousins in my final year. They were all boys and the only time to toilet was clean albeit still stinking is after I use it.

  30. Bukola

    December 8, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    Nasty toilet stories…hmmm. Planning to do something about it on a general scale. Regarding Megabus and other Coaches; I don’t bother with the toilets on board. I just wait for the stops on the route and pay to use the toilets. Abeg, if you are female don’t weaken your bladder with too much pressure. You will regret it in old age.

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