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Isio Knows Better: Something For Your Thirties

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imageThis whole article is about the experience of being in a thirty year old body, as a woman. And the things no one told me to expect. Some of these things are… quite delicious, might I add. Ooooh, so very delicious indeed… *giving side-eyes to allOfUs who are above thirty and know wharraImean

Which begs one to wonder why some women are so petrified of ageing, and the big 3-0… like it’s a flag of doom they are being forced to carry. It’s almost as if it’s a shameful rite of passage they would rather not face. Life is a gift, ageing is beautiful, if you take care of your body and your LIFE – by the CHOICES you make. These set the tune to the kind of CONSEQUENCES (or/and REWARD) you and you alone will have to face – which directly influences the quality of life you will have as a human being.

Exactly. It is not complicated at all.

But as a twenty-something year old, everything seems sooooo serious, so jigi-jigi, so permanent. Quite frankly, many of these only seem more important than they actually are (in the long term). But you don’t have to take my word for it. Make your mistakes, hopefully, you will become better for it. As they say, from bad judgement comes experience, and from experience you {should} learn good judgement. So, don’t be scared.

I have met many females in their late twenties who whisper their ages with bowed heads and shame when asked. But, don’t worry, Isio de-la gbogbo e ati bee’bee lo will talk you through the first year of her thirties and the things I wished my older female friends had told me to expect.

Okay, so here goes…

You May Blossom Before Your Thirteeth
And by blossom I mean “fill-out”, get rounder. You know, get more flesh in all the right places, I know I did. You might look in the mirror and see a softer, fuller, curvier version of yourself. This is very intriguing if you were the slender/semi-athletic type. But you need to watch it. Don’t get carried away. Remember some people’s metabolic rate gets slower with age. Before you know it, you might end up getting thicker than you ever intended and be stuck with it.  There is a saying that it is very difficult for a woman to lose weight beyond that which she crossed into her thirties with. Me I no know o, and I decided not to use my body to find out. Also, if you weren’t previously, you should consider eating for your long term well-being, and not just your short term satisfaction.

You Will Stop Caring So Much About Being Everything For Everyone
I can’t explain this one. Walahi, I have spoken to dozens of women, thirties and above, and it’s all the same. It is like a consciousness reset. You understand your limitations, and you know what you need. You understand that NO ONE is going to punish you if you just take a lazy day and do nothing, whereas in your twenties you think your life is over if you don’t get up and do something. This doesn’t mean you do nothing… it just means that you FINALLY get it. NOT every prize is worth the hunt; when you do “hunt”, (and I use the term metaphorically here) it best be to secure your future. You will also learn to cut your loses quickly and move on – without the pomp and fuss of younger years. No time mbok.

Your Hormones Will Unleash An Onslaught of Ermm… Delicious Things
Trust me, as a naughty Scorpio, it would give me great pleasure to describe to you the 50 shades of deliciousness that awaits once you start inching towards thirty and finally cross over – but alas, we are a conservative and civilized people *yimu* who don’t talk about such… so all I will say is that it is to be felt and enjoyed not necessarily explored.

Apparently some researchers believe (Ohhh yes, I had to research it o!) that once a female {especially one who has never been a mother} reaches her sexual/child-bearing prime (late 20s- early 30s), the body releases a surge of powerful hormones that heighten desire. In simple English, that thing that is totori-ing you is simple biology, please cover yourself with the armor of God, not the arms of that-your-ex-with-the-strong-arms-and-the-sexy-eyes. No go enter one chance o!

Hormonal Imbalance Is a Wicked Witch
Hormonal acne, aching boobs, bloating and weight-problems, mood-swings, depression, forgetfulness, fatigue and insomnia can be triggered by hormonal imbalances and hit you hard at any time. Seriously, you need to take care of your lifestyle (health and diet) if you are not already doing so. (You can study more about Hormonal Imbalance causes, effects and symptoms on the web or library, or ask your doctor – as many women are greatly affected {and sometimes overwhelmed} by hormonal fluctuations).

And the best one yet is that – If you are lucky and they are still alive –

You Will Become Friends With Your Parents
This is by far my most cherished thing. At thirty, your parents transcend from being just parents who want the best for you to friends who want the best for you. I have always had a great relationship with my parents, especially my mother to whom I owe every graceful thing about myself. Hello mommy… *big e-hugs and squeeeezeeeeee…*). The wealth of knowledge, wisdom, and temperance learnt first-hand from their life experiences are just phenomenal. I wish you guys the blessing of a parent-turned-friend.

These are the things I have learnt about turning thirty, but hey, like I said, they are from my personal experiences. As an above thirties male, your experience may have been different, but imagine you have something to say to younger males who are petrified about turning 30, what would you say to them? As a younger female (30 being the bench-mark) are you worried about the big 3-0? Why? Please share and help us understand. From where I’m sitting, life is a gift and there is nothing to be ashamed about. Understand that there are many people who are praying for the life you have now.

For my fellow 30-and-above females and aunties in the house, I trowey babanla tuale for una o, and for my senior mamas and mamalets, biko I Kukuma roll for ground for una sef elder tinz.
Please share with us your experiences and wisdom, and please tell us what you wished someone had told you about turning thirty and aging. Somewhere, a beautiful 27/28/29 year old needs to read it, and feel better about herself {or himself}.

A beautiful Tuesday to you all!

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

127 Comments

  1. Bleed Blue

    February 10, 2015 at 9:58 am

    Hey Isio…whassaaaaaaap gurrrl…..you’re a beauty though. Yes. Yes you are. 🙂

    Okay to the article. Well…..absolutely NONE of these things happened to me.

    My life seems to have never followed any rhyme or reason. You know when research says 99% of girls are like this or 99% of women will experience that…I’m somehow almost always in the 1%.

    C’est la vie. I fitn’t shout.

    • Ada Ada

      February 10, 2015 at 11:04 am

      I can relate to that!

    • tisha

      February 10, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Well, this wasnt helpful, at least let us know what u experienced or dint or what was the Norm for you.

    • Bleed Blue

      February 10, 2015 at 1:34 pm

      Well…Miss Tisha…

      No vex. Full stop. 🙂

    • nira

      February 10, 2015 at 11:41 am

      @bleedblue…my thoughts exactly…..coupled with the fact that i look quite younger than my actual age, i m turning 30 in june, and people still guess my age to be around 27,or at most 28..i ‘m not even petite, i m a curvy size 14, but people always think i’ m younger. For me, turning 30 is not that big of deal,most of my friends are also turning 30 this year. 30 is not as old as people think it to be, i dont feel any diffeent, i still feel the same way i felt when i was in my 20s and the truth is , i look even better . Still single tho, and i hope that this milestone year will along with it all my heart desires.

    • nira

      February 10, 2015 at 11:42 am

      ‘………will bring along’ , excuse my typo

    • tolulope

      February 11, 2015 at 8:53 am

      me 3 “nira… except that i’m turning 29, and i’m a size 13… iv got thunder thighs for days *sigh*
      All other parameters remain unchanged. loool

    • Isio De-laVega

      February 10, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      🙂 *blushing awwwww, thank you for the compliment. You are lucky you didn’t have the ugly bits (eg hormonal imbalance). It really is an ugly thing especially as it wrecks havoc on your sleep pattern, your energy levels and sometimes short-term memory. You are lucky indeed to never have experienced such. Big *e-hugs* to you 🙂

    • zida

      February 10, 2015 at 11:45 pm

      Isio dear, hats off to you. It took me till this year at the ripe old age of 32 to figure out what I was experiencing- that’s all of the above! I am happier now. Knowledge is truly power! I sincerely wish I knew this before the big 3 0. Well done babe.

  2. Nigerican

    February 10, 2015 at 10:07 am

    I really enjoyed this write up, I am turning 31 this year , and honestly don’t know how to truly feel… Grateful for life of course, but haven’t adjusted to the thirty game yet.

  3. Call Me Gorgeous...

    February 10, 2015 at 10:17 am

    As for me, I think I became more “aware” of who I was, found it difficult to compromise on certain values and yes, my body filled out in the right places a little..:)

    What can I say?!I am loving every bit of it and my advice to the upcoming beautiful 27 -28 -29 year old: EMBRACE IT!!

  4. anonymous

    February 10, 2015 at 10:19 am

    Dunno about 30. But I turned 25 in September and that remains my worst birthday oh. I felt like I hadn’t achieved all I wanted to at that age. Grateful I was in Joburg on some work assignment. If I had been in Nigeria, I’d have died. But in all, I’ve learnt that life is to be lived and enjoyed and each day is a blessing. I no longer postpone happiness and I do things for me. I’ve learnt to be more giving, Calmer and to trust God more. One can achieve her goals and still enjoy the process. Afterall, the fun is in the Journey. Enjoy each day and phase of your life. 30 or 3. Life is to be enjoyed and lived.

    • blaque pearl

      February 11, 2015 at 3:52 pm

      we both are strutting the same shoes truth be told(mine was oct) but *in sam cooke’s voice* #Change is gonna come. ehug luvvie we’ll keep shooting for the moon & hopefully fall among the stars.

  5. Alice

    February 10, 2015 at 10:20 am

    Nice one Isio..
    im turning 27 in April and im getting scared like play like play i done dey late 20ties buh reading this i”m no more scared its not that bad …i have started eating right and working out …

    • southernbelle

      February 10, 2015 at 11:38 am

      Awwwwww i am 27 in April as well but i am super dupa excited…27 is the new 21 wooooohooooooooooo lol embrace it. Be excited about what your late 20ties have waiting for you.

  6. SMH

    February 10, 2015 at 10:25 am

    Sooooooo very true!! I just turned 30 and my mum is my absolute best friend. I mean, she was my close friend in my 20s but now, We are as thick as thieves and I talk to her a lot more. As for hormonal imbalance, don’t get me started girl… I get to bed by 2am sometimes and feel like the world is going to stop when the twins wake up in need of feeding because I have not slept a wink. I totally agree and relate with this article, Isio!! Another lovely post, dear!

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      February 10, 2015 at 3:30 pm

      Truly, mumsie and I bonded in my 30s. She stopped being this outdated authoritarian and suddenly just became a woman like me, who also lived and loved, laughed and cried, had dreams which she wanted to realize (some happened and some didn’t)… it was wonderful to reconnect with her like that and I’m currently trying to make that same process happen with my dad.

      As for hormonal imbalances, hmmm. I’m not sure if what I have is hormonal but I’ve become more of a sensory wench in the last few years and by this I mean that little details like some delicious smell of perfume on a man can make me suddenly interested in what he has to offer. Or seeing how he quietly asserts his presence in a room. Alright, I can’t lie, it’s hormonal 🙂 Definitely a huge change from features which would have attracted me in the past. 😉

  7. Abena

    February 10, 2015 at 10:31 am

    That it is alright to turn 30.It is a beautiful experience…You become more confidence and self assured of yourself…
    You know what you want and what you DO NOT!
    You become much more sexier and beautiful that is if you have been taking care of yourself…
    And much more desirable(that one its like magic,sometimes i wonder)
    You have a broader view of life and more matured about.

    On a related/unrelated topic what is it about Nigerians and ‘I MUST MARRY BEFORE 30 OR I AM NOT CONSIDERED A HUMAN BEING”. When i read agony letters on most blogs,its the girls crying that they are aging (at 24yrs and they must marry at all cost)!!They don’t even want to think about hitting 27yrs without getting married with kids at all cost!

    In Ghana,it not like that at all,the reverse is the case.I mean from where i am coming from,its no pressure at all.You are supposed to pursue education and self development, not rush into it.Marriage is beautiful but if its not happening,nobody shames you for that.

    End of my observation BUT really 30 ROCKS! EMBRACE IT!LOVE IT!LIVE IT!

    • nira

      February 10, 2015 at 11:49 am

      Abena, i just loveeee your comment and cant relate with all you wrote, especially the ‘becoming more desirable part’..i mean, i have more admirers and toasters even now than i had in my early and mid twenties. i have become more confident and YES, i know exactly what i want….30 sure rocks!!!!

    • Isio De-laVega

      February 10, 2015 at 6:32 pm

      I love this… Thank you for sharing!

  8. Aibee

    February 10, 2015 at 10:31 am

    Isio de la gbogbo eh ati bebe lo! You are so very correct! All of these things happened to me. Well, nearly all sha. It’s only the hormonal imbalance one I haven’t experienced. That blossoming body thing is so true! Even I am often amazed at the lusciousness of my body, hehehe! Well, its the emerging pot belly that worries me sha. It can be flat for 3 days in a row and then next thing its pot belly for 2 days. Arrgh! Thank God for tummy control tights sha! And the onslaught of delicious things nko? Those feelings catch you at the oddest moments. Choi! I’m now a lot closer to my parents too. It helps that I’m getting married soon and they have a lot of wisdom to share. I’m also old enough to listen to their advice without feeling judged. If the advice had come in my mid twenties, I for no get the patience to listen to them. I’ve also learnt to choose my battles wisely! Abeg, I can’t shout. No time for nonsense.

    Funny thing, when I was in my early to mid twenties, I was scared of hitting 30. But once 29 came, I actually became at peace with myself. 30 didn’t look so bad again. I actually accepted the fact that I may not be married by 30 and that in itself isn’t such a bad thing. I just decided to do me! So when the correct bae came around, I wasn’t in that rush to settle down any longer. I can say that I’m actually looking forward to my thirties and all that come with it! Up next … 40!

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      February 10, 2015 at 3:30 pm

      Congrats, luv!

    • Aibee

      February 10, 2015 at 4:09 pm

      Thank you Mz SA.

    • feisty

      February 19, 2015 at 8:00 pm

      That tummy thing is for me. Wahlahi. Tummy will be flat for three days and the day you want.to knack one hot dress, you’ll see bulge. Confusing.

  9. Open Sesame

    February 10, 2015 at 11:00 am

    Nice one Isio, well done.

    I turn 30 next month, but I went through most of the things you listed from 25ish to 29.

    Hormonal imbalance is truly a wicked witch with a capital B! OMG! One minute I was slim and young looking, the next minute I looked liked I swallowed a giant frog. Needless to say, I and my gym instructor are now on first name basis.

    About caring what others think, tell me about it. I literally went from trying to control what others thought about me (and thus holding myself back) to ‘as you see me so, I no send you o’ being my theme song of life 🙂

    I def see my mum and dad as individuals now rather than just parents. I now realise they have their own disappointments, dreams and life that may or may not include me. It’s made me more compassionate.

    The most important thing I’ve learnt as I turn 30 is to grab opportunity when it presents itself not when I think I’m ready…time dey pass and ain’t nobody got time for smesme. Also, some people are craycray from their mother’s womb…don’t try to change them. When you see trouble coming…CROSS THE DAMN STREET!

    • Anna

      February 10, 2015 at 11:18 am

      Cray cray from their mother’s womb.. I cant laugh

  10. Mercedes

    February 10, 2015 at 11:02 am

    Isio is my kinda babe…i love her gigantic sense of humor…im sure she will make a good gisting partner…besto….or big sis… a combo of isio and toke #entertained

  11. Bolaji

    February 10, 2015 at 11:26 am

    Ok i know i want to read feed backs, i AM SCARED SHITLESS of approaching d Big 30, i feel like if i cant achieve it in my 20’s its gonna b way hard in my 30. i see my elder sisters one’s gona b 29 in 2 months, has 2 wonderful beautiful kids, happily married to a wealthy baron, shez got her own( hard working women) n my other elder sis same but in her early 40’s , both look like they are 25 (swear down) and achieved so much in their 20’s. scares me that m almost 30 and still trying to fig some things out, rarely sleep bcoz, i tell myself to calm down, hahahahahaahahah… id really love to read comments here

    • Joan85

      February 10, 2015 at 2:14 pm

      It’s an individual race dear. Trust me, when you begin to focus on your own goals and plans, life will look so much better and you will realize how much stronger you are! 🙂

  12. Ocean Beauty

    February 10, 2015 at 11:30 am

    I never still understand why people like to butcher their age. No matter what age you declare, somebody parts will give you away especially the knee.
    There’s no difference in how I see things when I was in my early 20s and now that I am pushing 30. Maybe it’s because I look the same physically. I no gree fill out anywhere. Thank God for padded things. I can get my figure 8. #coversface#. I try as much to enjoy each day as it comes. It’s one of the things I owe me. Time waits for nobody jare

  13. Ocean Beauty

    February 10, 2015 at 11:31 am

    *some body

  14. Rukamina

    February 10, 2015 at 11:43 am

    Growing older should not make anyone sad. Should be more like being grateful

  15. Queen Spicey

    February 10, 2015 at 11:56 am

    Will be 30 in May. Worried myself sick about the big 3.0 last year but after every, I came to accept it and embrace life more after a journey of self discovery. So I say to the big 3.0, let’s get it kicking.

  16. Mz Socially Awkward...

    February 10, 2015 at 12:02 pm

    Oya, Isio, where are the mimosas going down? Where, oh??? Your “gehs” need to plan how we can hangout and dissect every part of this article (this VERY article) at some bar which accommodates loud, voracious laughter, animated gisting/sharing and serves delightful small chops. I no get money to come Zanzibar oh so plan with all pockets in mind.

    This right here – “It is like a consciousness reset. You understand your limitations, and you know what you need” – ah mean, preach that word again and again. Nobody can explain how that reset happens but it is a delicious feeling to go from being terrified of not able to please the world (read “world” to mean “the Nigerian society”) to the new understanding of who you really are and the final realization that it’s alright to be that person.

    I was scared in my 20s. Very scared. That I wouldn’t, couldn’t be all of whatever everyone else expected (dictated!) that I should be. That 30 would come and I’d discover that I’ve failed at everything!! It’s difficult to put into words but if you’ve lived that life you understand what I’m hinting at. Ah, 30s are everything you’ve put up there and more. Why the hell do we fear that decade so much, though? It’s a societal evil that has been visited upon the Nigerian woman, honestly…

    • TA

      February 10, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      Oh yes @ Mz SA, sipping my mojito or tequila sunrise while munching peppered gizzards? Oh Yes ! Thirties absolutely rock! I never imagined I would love it as much as am loving it now. Last time I looked forward to growing older was in my teens, I could not wait to be sixteen. Lol! For the first time in my life, am not just eating what I find but eating what is best for me long term. Also am taking care of my skin,hair, body. I read labels, ingredients and nutrition facts closely before even buying anything. My married friends envy me, because I can just pack a bag and travel either for work or simply to have a nice time. Lol! Thirties is when I can finally say I have small change in my name and can indulge, pursue causes that matter to me, sleep, faff around if I feel like. Sometimes, I have to pinch myself to be sure it is all real. Regardless of what age you are, own it and give it your best. You will never be that age again. Thanks Isio for this piece. 🙂

    • Kunmi

      February 10, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      “Regardless of what age you are, own it and give it your best.”

      This 20-year old thanks you for this.

    • TA

      February 11, 2015 at 9:15 am

      @ Kunmi, this 33 year old thanks you too! 🙂

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      February 10, 2015 at 3:09 pm

      Above comment typed in a flurry but I “yam” back to address your last paragraph.

      I’m 35 and my 20s were very repressed – never saying what I actually wanted to, too afraid to go with my intuition, worried about upsetting the feelings of people who didn’t deserve all that concern (to be brutally honest), worried about silly things which didn’t matter AT ALL. So, if I could speak frankly to 27/28 year olds, I would say:-

      While you’re still in your 20s
      – Don’t wait until turning 30 before you can start being true to yourself. Begin today.
      – Choose your friends wisely now because you’ll need them in the next decade. The real ones become very useful then.
      – Tied with the above, start learning how to invest in your non-romantic relationships – whether – with friends, siblings, family or otherwise. This is something I started too, too late in my life (in my 30s) and I wish I had been given the foresight to lay more foundations down with the people I love.
      – Save your money, put it in real things, not only your wardrobe. Yes, start a pension plan if possible because it’s not too early.
      – Honestly ask yourself where you see that career or dream job taking you in 5 years time. You’ll find it harder to job-hop in your 30s where financial security takes on new meaning so you’re at the right window of time in your life to experiment.
      – Wear your heart on your sleeve sometimes: nothing ventured, nothing gained. This becomes harder to do in your 30s as you become more protective with your emotions so if you like a boy, give him enough signs to let him know. I’m not saying to show up at his crib in a trench-coat and nothing else; just drop hints from time to time.
      – Listen to what older female friends, already in their 30s, have to say. I wish I’d listened to mine more.
      – Take care of your teeth!! That’s one part of your body that doesn’t grow back so if you’ve never be to a dentist, VISIT ONE TODAY! OR ASAP!! Enough said. Find yourself a gyno, too.

      And when you do get to 30, if you turn that age with an open mind, there’s a lot of consolidation which happens with many things I’ve mentioned above as you start to make decisions about YOU and YOUR own happiness, aiming at the same time to start preparing a legacy of the life you’ve lived. Please do not mistake your 30s as being this egoistic journey to self – that’s what your teenage years were for but this new chapter is about adding value to you and the lives of others.

      Finally, not everyone will rejoice about this decade with you and there’ll always be some cretin that points out that “you’re getting old, oh” but that’s okay. Always ask them if they prefer the alternative scenario where you’re dead and see how they answer. God’s plans for you are constantly unfolding and He has created a new joy behind each corner that’s turned so keep expecting more, more and MORE for every year you celebrate. xx

    • TA

      February 10, 2015 at 4:39 pm

      Hmmm, that Gyno bit is for me o. I have never met with one. I need to book that appointment ASAP.

    • Isio De-laVega

      February 10, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      @MzSA @TA Yes ooo! We should do this! Loud, voracious laughter, drinks, great food (peppered gizzard/crackling spinach/big, humongous beef samosas/stuffed grilled chicken *seriously salivating* 🙂 or spicy nkwobi and a bottle of sprite (choi choi choi… As you can see I am an unrepentant foodie). And above all, the addition of great company and pleasant conversation – great recipe for a fantastic evening. (*doing my azonto-shoki mix*) “Bhet”, seriously we need to fine-tune details, biko “eet” me “hup” on IG or my site mail…

      Anyway before I get carried away… I have to say – it is so true about the gyno thing sha. Biko, fam anyone who knows a REPUTABLE (aka Tested, trusted, recommended) FEMALE gyno in Gidi should please share info.

      Mwaaaaah to you guys and everyone who commented and contributed to this.

    • Atoke

      February 10, 2015 at 7:32 pm

      I agree with the Obiter Dicta of my learned brother!

    • yt

      February 10, 2015 at 8:33 pm

      @Isio…….South Shore women’s clinic,VI. You can Google for details. I hear Dr. Alabi is very good.

    • Blackbeauty

      February 11, 2015 at 1:50 am

      This right here is why I love this girl. I’m 28 and somewhat dreading 29 and 30 cos I feel like I haven’t accomplished all I want to career-wise. Thanks for the sound advise.

    • TA

      February 11, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      @ yt, thank you for the info provided as per good Gyno in Lagos.

    • Tuzaqueen

      February 17, 2015 at 7:01 pm

      Everything you’ve said is so apt! The only things I’ m yet to accomplish since 4 days ago I turned 30 is having a retirement plan and the lack of valuable friends lol.. However, your suggestions above should be very helpful. Hugs!

    • Adeola

      February 23, 2015 at 7:32 am

      Can totally relate with this. I am going to be thirty this year in August. Needless to say I am scared shitless like it increased at the beginning of the year not sure of it is the society or the awareness that like joke like joke three decades gone or almost in my case… I really hope it gets better afterwards

  17. leigh

    February 10, 2015 at 12:14 pm

    I can attest to the fact that my “totoring” has really increased. LOL

  18. Africhic

    February 10, 2015 at 12:17 pm

    The big 40 is coming soon for me. All of a sudden i’m thinking retirement plan.

    • adeanon

      February 10, 2015 at 2:10 pm

      was 40 a few months ago. the day itself passed but i noticed shortly after a change of mindset. i love me and mine. im done with drama, envying filtered lifes on instagram and trying to please the world. im happier fitter and more radiant. So girls its not an age think. Some of us wander like Israelites for 40 years:-). Some of you like Isio get it quicker

  19. Nife

    February 10, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    Wow. I remember telling my cousin “Babee we ll be 30 this year ooooo” lol. But I totally co-sign all u write above except the Errm delicious things ooo

  20. Teni

    February 10, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    Thank you Isio, i am glad i discovered your write ups, they are always filling. I wasn’t scared when i turned 30, people were scared on my behalf, especially as i never marry, which i am always quick to reply them that “marriage doesn’t catch late comers”,besides i don’t even look my age so what’s the fuss!!!. I am over 30 and i am happy, i have learnt to be happy with my life and my achievements and my lazy days and my moody days and my totori days too, life is too short to be anything but happy abeg. What i need to do now is to learn to work out so as not to become too rounded *sipping green tea and waiting for more comments*

    • TA

      February 10, 2015 at 2:46 pm

      @ Teni, Fellow green tea sipper, just like you I was still dragging my feet about physical activities,gym membership ati bebelo until my neighbour suggested we go running in the evenings after work for 15 mins after work, 3 times a week. Not much I know, but it is a huge step from being the couch potato I used to be. So start small, like go for a brisk walk once a week, if you get bored with that, skip, stair climbing, try jogging or zumba dancing. Do what you really enjoy, most importantly just MOVE!

    • Teni

      February 10, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      Thanks @TA, i will definitely start the movement ASAP…

  21. Glowing Sapphire

    February 10, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    Awaiting comments…

  22. Fifi

    February 10, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    The day i turned 30 i discovered a grey pub, i tweezer the gaddam stray hair out, aside from the pressure to get married im loving my 30s, i can tell pple who annoy me to f-off if they piss me off without feeling bad including family members

    • Anon

      February 10, 2015 at 2:17 pm

      That my friend is premature greying and has got nothing to do with you being 30!

  23. Fifi

    February 10, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    *pubic hair

  24. jennifer

    February 10, 2015 at 1:01 pm

    Isio nice one, Africans and the age scare.. on who is in her/ his 50′ s would tell you that he/ she is in her 30’s, even when you know so well the age is fake.. thats the world we live in no one is proud of their age most especially Nigeria.. where every young girl is marriage conscious # like as if it’s everything # like as if everyone was born to get married # thank God for my Life # living it loving it #

  25. Just me

    February 10, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    Wow you just spoke everything I have experienced as I am in my early thirties too but look like a 25year old student , the hormonal balance is so true, especially the insomnia part of weight loss and gain.
    I have always being confident and have gain more confidence in myself. Once you can do stuffs for yourself.

    I met a guy recently and I told him my age. The guy was taken aback, and kept asking if I was telling him the truth.

    Being in your thirties rocks

  26. Yems

    February 10, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    Isioooo soo true. I’ll be 32 in April, and i have learnt to live life in the present. I don’t worry myself over things i can’t change. I have also become more open about my sexuality and preference (in my 20’s I used to code ehn!, but now I cant be bothered). My parents are also my besties, (Hard to reconcile the fact that they used to give me the ‘reset’ slaps in those days). I may not be where i want to be, all the plans i had for myself, but I”m so grateful to b e alive and that’s what matters most 🙂 . I cant believe I”m saying this, but 30 ROCKS!!!

  27. yet_dup

    February 10, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    Isio I just love your articles! 30 & 30+ rocks jare, we be enjoying our lives & praying that we have been able to influence someone positively everyday.

  28. Ada Nnewi

    February 10, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    Isio de la Vega!!! This article is spot on!!! 30 is knocking at my door in a bit but thankfully people think i’m still 24 and I’ve found that i really have to push myself hard at the gym to remain slender with the amount of food i love to eat…I’ve also found that i’m less concerned with pleasing everyone and now clearly set boundaries for everyone that i allow into my life…Also on those delicious feelings, my darling sister you are in the spirit! The time I told le boo that i’m yet to reach my sexual peak the look on his face was priceless, i laughed for days, he said he needs to start working out to keep up…I’m usually fresh faced but the occasional hormonal pimple now comes like clockwork once a month….On the whole I’m really looking forward to my thirties and i’m quite content with the progress i’ve made so far in my life..

    • Nauti

      February 10, 2015 at 1:58 pm

      Na wah, “you are yet to reach your sexual peak”. So, busarni was actually right by saying you have being deprived of good sex. Hmm.

    • ada nnewi

      February 10, 2015 at 2:14 pm

      Lmao! I can see English Comprehension is not your strong point! ROTFLMAO!!!

    • Nauti

      February 10, 2015 at 3:19 pm

      BN oooh, where is my comment na. Dont be partial, abeg. This below 30 girl needs to be schooled.. I only asked if her kini is an oil well that peaks, just me being curious na.

    • ada nnewi

      February 10, 2015 at 3:38 pm

      ROTFLMAO!!! This woman stop making a fool of yourself, ask someone to interpret what i wrote for you, since you clearly lack the capacity to understand it…you’re hilarious i swear…lmao

    • Nauti

      February 10, 2015 at 3:44 pm

      Be deceiving your self; below 30 girl. Get good sex and peaking will never be on your mind. Oya, run along below 30 girl. Blind bat

    • Pretenseslayer

      February 10, 2015 at 4:29 pm

      @ Ada Nnewi, do you mean climax during sex? That is quite different from ‘sexual peak’ as you stated in your original post. Try reading it again…

    • Anon

      February 10, 2015 at 4:35 pm

      I call a truce. Please it’s enough.

    • ada nnewi

      February 10, 2015 at 5:19 pm

      Hi pretense slayer…It’s very common for a woman to reach her sexual peak in her thirties and by that i mean she becomes more sexually aware of her body and what it can do and as a result she sheds most of her inhibitions she might have had about the act and begins to really enjoy it or she enjoys it more than she did in her twenties as her body craves sexual intimacy more frequently…i didn’t mean an orgasm

    • Nauti

      February 10, 2015 at 6:01 pm

      Below 30 girl, forget all the explanation. Get good sex and you will crave for it till 100 years. Whoever is depriving you of good sex is a wicked someborrrii. Oya ,busarni come and get your dog (nkita).

  29. 2015

    February 10, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    Will be 34 april ,single and loving every bit of it ,am more matured and never ashamed to tell anyone my age as i dont look it (i look 25 actually ) people argue with me anytime i tell them my age ,its that bad . i feel better with myself and my outlook towards life has always been positive,my totori things has really reduced …drastically. i have loads of grey so i love wearing my natural hair .Not really best friends with my mum ..we are just cool and she doesnt even bother me about marriage . All in all …I AM HAPPY ..VERY HAPPY

  30. Que

    February 10, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    The last time I worried about my age, I was 24. I woke up not remembering it was my birthday for a few hours, then mesaages started pouring in…. I had this moment where I was in my bathroom, brushing my mouth, looked up in the mirror and my heart flipped saying to self…’Shit!!!! I’m 24…..what does dis mean’…. ‘what do I do now?….. and bla bla bla….. my heart was pounding so fast I tot it would break out of my chest…. then I started begging myself to calm down….I eventually did, and resigned to a near-solemn day….

    That was the only and last time I ever thought of age…. 30 didnt even shake me! I can relate with a lot of what you’ve written… Alas I can now blame my sudden lustfulness on something (lmao!!!)….. For me what was most important was owning myself, and my experiences and giving myself permission to live, and shut the door on any relationships that had been one way for too long….. I’m one with peace …..focusing on building the life, legacy and love I want to retire to……anything or person that isnt getting me closer to these life goals can take several seats on any highway of choice!

    Its a profound time and I intend to LIVE!!! Heck I’m even discovering things I never thought I’d want or be able to do….. whats more exciting than that!

  31. Sili-chi

    February 10, 2015 at 1:58 pm

    Omo 30 good sha! Especially the delicious things part. Ha! See me see toasters breakout. E even get one guy wey no gree let me rest for toasting; I can’t let you go even when I told him I will 30-1 this year. The guy no believe, as he think say we be same age group of mid to late 2o’s because say I slim. And the totori no be here o. I dey call Blood of Jesus like mad in my mind for protection because the physical attraction no be here o. It is so not usual. God dey sha. My Mum is my sister now-I mean that is the coolest thing ever because we get to quarrel and we can argue our points like friends without she giving me the I-am-your-mother-so-shut-up-and-listen line. And I love the way we talk. Ha! To think I was once afraid of 30. I never marry but na now I com dey picky sef. Ha! I no enter one chance for 20’s so no be for 30 I go com enter. Tufia! Indeed I have become assertive. If I don’t like, I say it. One guy said to me, you like to speak your mind, to which I replied with great alacrity, na your own I go speak? In my twenties, that would have been too rude to say. Now, I no send.

  32. Busarni

    February 10, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Isio de le vega; nice piece. What i find disturbing is everybody claiming they don’t look their age. Seriously, keep living in denial. Growing old is something to be proud of, single/married. In as much as you eat right, healthy, exercise and purge yourself of hate.
    Yes, when you are full of negative and hateful vibes it ages you. This is to all BN visitors; easy on the hate and age gracefully. At the end of the day; it is just a number if you really want it to be a NUMBER..

  33. Vivadrew

    February 10, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Interesting! will be three2 this year yet always passed as 24. My boss thinks am just 25 while colleagues see me some 21 year old occupying the position they wished for. But my own, I no send o as long as my slim me is still intact and life is a roller coaster mbok….lemmi enjoy. Yeah, 30 and above comes with multiple “big Os’, u know waramean..*winks..ehehe, I call it “Hormonal Balance”

  34. Joan85

    February 10, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    I turned 29 in December; I don’t know how it happened o, but I suddenly have my goals all laid out (unlike me who used to be the chief of winging it). About admirers, I lost count of the number of admirers/chykers I have had between December and today. Maybe because I’m more confident or I don’t tolerate slacking anymore. Everything I learned (which I also ignored) in my earlier twenties about valuing myself and not giving place to any man who is not serious about me seem to just make sense now. It’s weird cos I’m actually more selective at this point, my brain is on you-slack-you-lose mode and focusing only on people who add value and who truly mean well because I know my own worth. I’m not afraid of 30 anymore, maybe because I look 25 lol or maybe because I know who I am now without waiting for someone else to define me. For the first time in my life, I’m aware of my essence as a woman, my path as a professional, and my walk with God. It’s an awesome place to be. 🙂

  35. TA

    February 10, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    @ Fellow green tea sipper, just like you I was still dragging my feet about physical activities,gym membership ati bebelo until my neighbour suggested we go running in the evenings after work for 15 mins after work, 3 times a week. Not much I know, but it is a huge step from being the couch potato I used to be. So start small, like go for a brisk walk once a week, if you get bored with that, skip, stair climbing, try jogging or zumba dancing. Do what you really enjoy, most importantly just MOVE!

  36. Rynyx

    February 10, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    turning 30 next year and I am so looking forward to it.

  37. Abolanle

    February 10, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    Hello babes, thanks for sharing. ℓ̊ clocked 30 last 2wks and ℓ̊ must say ℓ̊ experienced 40percents of this things Ɣøû mentioned esp d hormal inbalances. Am presently trying to adjust now anyways. Cheers!!!

  38. pretty damsel

    February 10, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    am 27 and am already noticing all this .. Gosh .. especially the weight gain and loss part ., All the things that interested me in my early twenties are now history, am actually looking forward to thirty…

  39. 30cutegirl

    February 10, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    il be 30 in 2 weeks and oh, never have i been this horny in my life..lol. its almost unbearable since ive been saving myself for marriage.
    im looking forward to great things this year yet, people are getting worried for me.
    my career has never been better
    all in all im doing pretty well, more confident and vibrant. welcome to the big 30

    • Noms

      February 11, 2015 at 11:36 am

      I wasn’t so scared of being 30 (not because I have achieved all my goals)rather na people dey fear for me. My younger sister got married when she was 23 so you can imagine the coded pressure.
      I was 30 in January and I have never been this horny…even at work. The fact that i’m saving it for marriage sef doesn’t help. lol
      Its good to know I can blame it on the dividends of 30s. I silently pray for God’s forgiveness when the lustful thoughts creeps and also for God to hastening the steps of my hubby to come quench this fire amongst other things that we will achieve together.

  40. Anna

    February 10, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    Still in my 20’s but judging by these comments… I can’t waiiitt till I get there esp the ‘chemical imbalances’

  41. Zeal

    February 10, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    30 is the new 20

  42. Tru

    February 10, 2015 at 4:41 pm

    Yup Isio, Mom’s definitely my best friend now!

  43. Truth Teller

    February 10, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    Isio, abeg chop knuckle

  44. TA

    February 10, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    Dead @ sensory wench. Looool. Wench?! Oh my! Been a while I heard that. Mz SA, you this Britico wench. LMAO

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      February 10, 2015 at 10:42 pm

      😀 I do love the saucy wench in me, except that I often have to comply with Isio’s advice by covering her securely in the amour of God, make I no enter “one chance”. Lady on the outside, minx on the inside… 🙂

  45. Louda

    February 10, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    I must say I am very happy I turned 30 last year. I prefer me now than in my 20s. the things that gave me headache no longer worry me now. I see life as more simple than what I used to think. I even broke records for myself, where do I start, I became a millionaire, bought myself a very good car, setting up a business of my own aside my good job, live in my dream neighborhood and can pay the expensive rent without feeling it, like everything just clicked for me last year when i clocked 30 except that I have a job that keeps me so busy but thanks to God again, it over pays the bills. I dont even know whether to wish I became 30 earlier cos life is so good for me at 30. Exercise has always been my thing and I had long cut off some things from my diet since I started gaining weight after secondary school.. 30 indeed is good, nothing to fear.

  46. mrs chidukane

    February 10, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    Turned 30 last year. Truth be told i’m nowhere near where I want to be and I wonder if I will ever get there cos as soon as I had my baby my priorities changed. Just trying to bloom where i’ve been planted. Sometimes I get so antsy but i’m just willing myself to stay calm and keep going. As for the hormonal imbalance, all i’m going to say is that my hormones have always been very,very unbalanced 😉

    • imose

      February 10, 2015 at 10:23 pm

      Awww sometimes I feel this way Mrs chi..not to worry just count your blessings, name them one by one. And it will surprise you how thankful about where you are now you should be. I have realized in life everyone has a struggle. Some are struggles wrapped in strength! Be proud of who you are no matter what, someone somewhere is praying for what you have!! Cheer up, when you are Alive is when you can achieve, and you will Achieve *e hugs*

    • mrs chidukane

      February 11, 2015 at 4:46 am

      Thanks Imose, God bless. *hugs

    • feisty

      February 19, 2015 at 8:13 pm

      Be still… It will be well.

  47. imose

    February 10, 2015 at 10:06 pm

    The way you all are writing about the 30’s ..is making want to turn 30 asap :)..well in 2 yrs and it’s worth the wait. Learnt a lot too BNERS rock. Lest I forget @Isio and @MSA please don’t forget to update on the get together plans.thanks in advance 🙂

    • Isio De-laVega

      February 11, 2015 at 11:28 am

      Will do dear, #mwaaaaaah!

  48. Sisi

    February 10, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    God bless you Isio for this. I turned 29 three days ago and I must confess the thought of turning 30 REALLY freaked me out as in I was in no mood for a birthday celebration sef but at the end of the day a thought just struck me that you know some people didn’t live long enough to actually see their 30’s and I should be actually thankful to be alive and for where I am now.
    This article was just the icing on the cake for me – I mean every single thing you said is what i’m kinda facing right now even though I ain’t 30 yet. I’m no more scared of hitting the big 30 next year, bring on dirty 30!!!

  49. serene

    February 10, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Isio you have a big fan down here in south south Nigeria. I turned 25 some months ago and somehow I became more alive. I’m ready to do whatever the heck I really feel like doing. Not scared of people ‘s opinion of me anymore…they are gonna have their opinion regardless of what I do. And I know I’m gonna be just fine. And I’ve learnt that life is gonna happen regardless of how hard I hold my breath. So I’m just gonna be grateful to God and enjoy the ride. 30 sounds amaaaaaaaaaaazing!

  50. Bull Eye

    February 11, 2015 at 12:33 am

    I remember the day i hit 30 like it was 5 minutes ago! I remember milking 29 till the last day. Your 20’s seem to last forever mostly because your responsibilities are fewer. Life is more exciting and you take everything in stride. 30’s are totally different. You tend to be more matured hence a lot more cautious with your approach to issues. The more responsibilities you pile on, the less time you seem to have. Life is a phase and one should embrace it with excitement and open arms…. i think! I’m excited about what my 40’s will unfold. Stay blessed guys.

  51. Kemigisa

    February 11, 2015 at 8:38 am

    pretty damsel dats so me am 27 single and concentrating on making abetter me while waiting for my prince charming

  52. Brownsuga

    February 11, 2015 at 9:45 am

    Okay! Isio, this is enlightening, I’m over 30 and I didn’t know it’s a 30 thing feeling the things I felt.
    For me, I started living life at 30 (totally unintentional)

    – got married @ 32 (Sex has never been sweeter/delicious/heavenly 🙂 thanks to my hormones (at least now I know that)

    – my kids came thereafter, getting my lepa shape back is a task but seriously I feel I don’t need to weigh my exact BMI, an extra 5 pounds will keep the jingle and bounce in the right places

    – Suddenly Malë and I have become besties, I actually thought it’s because I became a mum, didn’t know it was a 30 thing

    – have fabulous friends that make my day any time, they are sisters from others mommas and we truly have become closer (30’s thing too)

    – I really don’t try to please anyone anymore, I stay true to myself.

    – for the gyno, Dr Ajetumobi (Island) and Dr. Brown (Surulere) are wonderful gynos (don’t know if I should mention their clinics)

    Walahi, Isio there’s everything to love about 30’s, good things happened to me in my 30’s. A get together will be lovely, @MzSA has covered everything for the below 30’s.

    • TA

      February 11, 2015 at 2:16 pm

      @ Brownsuga, Please drop the name of the clinics esp the one on the Island. God bless you as you assist. 🙂

  53. oyaga

    February 11, 2015 at 10:44 am

    All these people forming I’m 30 and or above but still look 24-25, please go and sit down abeg and make we hear word…lies!

    • Tee

      February 18, 2015 at 2:44 pm

      Eyah sorry dearie…..you don’t have to be bitter towards them because you look so old.

  54. Jet

    February 11, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    I love you Isio! you wrote this article for me.

  55. babygiwa

    February 11, 2015 at 7:39 pm

    I love my Isio! Chop knuckle. Well, I’m turning 24 in may and I’m looking forward to it. This article sure helped.
    Ms. SA, tis God that will bless you for me. Thanks for the below 30 tips. Mwahhhhh

  56. Cecilia

    February 11, 2015 at 11:52 pm

    Life they say begins at 40 and the 30s are the path to it. For me a grama of 8 at 64 life is sweet as God has been so faithful.

  57. jennifer

    February 12, 2015 at 12:25 am

    Have always told my friends that a woman peak for sex is in her early thirties.. then she gets to enjoy sex very much better..than when she is in her teens or twenties..
    Anyways, I call such hormones last hormones # sex hormones # because after it comes menopause for most women not all women, so enjoy it while it last.
    Whatever age you are, be it 3 or 30 let’s know that every age comes with its own change whether emotional, psychological, mental and physical change..
    There’s a saying that life begins at 40, literally life should begin everyday for each and everyone of us.
    Isio thanks for the article no difference from what I tell my friends or I discuss with women.
    #Just a 24 year old girl whom God has blessed to know more than her age..THANKS #turning 25 this year, a university student hoping and praying for her to reach her Goal in life through CHRIST THAT STRENGTHEN HER #

  58. Mz Mee

    February 12, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    Isio,very nice write up. it made me understand a whole lot of things happening to me. I really did not know the big fuss about turning 30 because to me,it is just another number but i remember when i started adding weight in some places and my elder kept saying “”you don dey old””,you are now 30 years. I know i experienced(if not still experiencing) mood swings,hormonal imbalance etc but i think it reduces with time.
    30 is a big number but seriously,it is just a number. The mind set is all that counts!

  59. Dewumi

    February 12, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    I will be 26 years old in May, and I am so afraid of it that I have started the count down since the beginning of this year. Argh! I just feel like I am stagnant and time is running out. I will give anything to enjoy this present time.

  60. Celest

    February 12, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Well, all I can say is, when I entered my 30’s it was like a new world. Yes all the things you said were true, it is God we need seriously if you are not married, everything is five times heightened. But I also released that, your brain becomes sharper, you become conscious of your self and your body, Things you could not do in your twenties and thirties you will be able to do in your forties. Now in my forties, I do not care what people think about me, I make decision based on my experiences from the past and advice people with that, what people think about you is no more important, it is easy to endure pressure, having friends are no more a priority, it is now easy to cut out people who do not help you progress, it is easy now to focus and plan, it is now easy to save for the future if you have not already started. After gaining weight from a size 8 to 18 and could not loose it for over 11-years, in my forties, I have managed to loose all and trying to get back to size 8. I love how I look, a lot of things don’t make me angry anymore, I am closer now to my darling mother, my father and all my siblings. But in your 30’s you are okay with your body and your matured look if you are looking after yourself. In your forties, the insecurity of your youth comes back, the thinking of do I look good enough, is my face getting old, why are people looking at you in a certain way etc etc, but if you are married you also have your own insecurities, I can’t speak for those in their forties, since I am in my forties and not married these are some of the few things I have observed about myself.

  61. deedee

    February 12, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    Am turning 30 in September and believe me am scared,I feel so old and unhappy coz am yet to get a stable job despite all the qualifications and can’t wait to meet my prince charming (lost a fiancé in 2013),but reading the comments especially that of my darling @Ms SA has been very helpful,thanks y’all…now am planning a getaway for my 30th…..

  62. deedee

    February 12, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    I am going to be 30 in September and believe me am scared coz I feel old and unhappy coz am yet to get a stable job despite all the qualifications and can’t wait to meet my prince charming (lost a fiancé in 2013), but reading all the comments especially that of my darling @Mz SA has been very helpful,thanks y’all….
    am planning a getaway for my 30th now!!!

  63. Kemigisa

    February 12, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    so sorry @deedee…….hapi birthday in Advance enjoy!!!! wish u the very best

  64. deedee l

    February 12, 2015 at 9:08 pm

    Thanks alot @Kemigisa dear….special e-hugs

  65. Diddie

    February 16, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    I turned 29 in January and I have already started planning for the big 30. This write-up has made feel better ,was actually scared of aging….

  66. Tuzaqueen

    February 17, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    I am so happy that Isio’s piece had people owning their age. Power of age 30+ perhaps? Lol. Just turned 30 and I am yet to set up a pension plan for myself. Ob/Gyn, check! Dentist, check! I need to invest in long lasting friendships and relationships me thinks! 30 feels very normal only thing is that I have always thought that on the day of my birthday I would wake up with a head full of sage wisdom , but that has only happened in my dreams lol. I love pieces like these from Isio. Hugs from my couch!

  67. oy

    February 18, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    so true. all these happened to me

  68. IOA

    February 18, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    I love you Isio, MsSA..you ladies rock all the time!!!

  69. feisty

    February 19, 2015 at 7:51 pm

    Wahlahi, this post was for me. Just got home now and what I heard from a woman in my neighborhood is “ah Aunty, e ma ti fe si” ( ah Aunty, you’re now wider). I just shrugged though it pained me sha. I’m 27 and I’ve been struggling with so many thoughts. I’ve never been fat. Now I’m watching my tummy and all sorts of stuff. It’s crazy. Thanks for this post

  70. feisty

    February 19, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    Be still… It will be well.

  71. Colour Purple

    February 21, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    For someone above 30, you seem to have the communication skills of an insecure and spiteful teenager. Please as you grow older learn to write or speak without insults, it is immature to continue this way. Grow Up and don’t let 40 meet you the same way.

  72. Colour Purple

    February 21, 2015 at 8:19 pm

    My comment was directed at Nauti who seems to have a weird obsession for Ada Nnewi.

  73. Adeola

    February 23, 2015 at 8:34 am

    Thank you Isio for this write-up. It has to be one of my faves maybe because it resonates and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Just yesterday after going through one of my anxiety pangs, I had to tell myself babe, calm down. Plus I am really learning to lean on God more which has been extremely helpful. I am going to be 30 in August by God’s grace and the anxiety pangs they don’t have part 2. I am not sure if it is the societal pressure which is heightened if you are single- like no one directly says anything but the subtle pressure are no less worse, or if it is just the realisation that like joke like joke 3 decades is nearly gone and your brain starts to thinks that’s how 40 would come like that(as if becoming 40 is guaranteed and not a gift form God), Sometimes I wish it would just come already and probably i’d feel less worried like shebi its now here….

    God has been faithful especially career-wise, but sometimes the single part does get to one (not because others are getting married or the societal pressure but because silently I seriously wonder if I can be truly ever fulfilled with career success alone- as much as I am extremely grateful to God for that and sometimes even hold on really tightly to it like ah this one must not drop o—–and then you realise as the older you become, the more aware you are of what you want in a man, which in a way makes your choices if you may “premium” and the pool if you wish smaller so sometimes you wonder if the awareness is a blessing or a curse like ok if I didn’t know what I know now, might have been ok with this person- and just allowing life to sort the rest out(irresponsible ba?).

    The hormonal changes definitely spot on like last year I was just on sexual urge over-drive- had to google it at some point and later calmed down when i realised it was a peaking situation. the on-and off weight loss that is definitely true also- that became obvious late last year and sticking to my lean frame is definitely a struggle but one which i think i am winning. :-). The comments have definitely helped save the part about looking younger feel like i looked better two year ago than last and than this year. Maybe its because I have been stressed lately who knows. In all extremely grateful to God for this gift called life and really(the anxiety pangs nonetheless) looking forward to the milestone called 30. Hopefully it wont be so scary after all and might just be the best time yet.

  74. Adeola

    February 23, 2015 at 8:38 am

    * looked better two years ago than last year and last year better than this year….

  75. Exotique

    March 7, 2015 at 9:28 pm

    OMG! Isio so on point. I am presently 29, will hit the big 30 by Nov and I have been thinking. I spent my 20s in pursuit of my education and career, even working with INGOs in the North, forfeiting my social life in pursuit of a career. Now pushing 30 and single, I identify with your post.
    @blossom: Thanks to exercise and diets I have only filled out in the right places. No flab.
    @priorities: I dont give a damn now for some things that meant the world to me 6 years ago.
    @Hormones/ delicious feelings: OMG. I cant believe my own body now oo. I get turned on all by myself. I am celibate so if I have to marry yhis year God abeg ooo. Lol
    Overall I am grateful for the woman I have become. No regrets.

  76. Uzoamaka

    December 6, 2016 at 12:22 pm

    Mz Socially Awkward… I just read this comment and had to re-post it. I wish BN could post this as a separate article with your permission.

    “So, if I could speak frankly to 27/28 year olds, I would say:-
    While you’re still in your 20s
    – Don’t wait until turning 30 before you can start being true to yourself. Begin today.
    – Choose your friends wisely now because you’ll need them in the next decade. The real ones become very useful then.
    – Tied with the above, start learning how to invest in your non-romantic relationships – whether – with friends, siblings, family or otherwise. This is something I started too, too late in my life (in my 30s) and I wish I had been given the foresight to lay more foundations down with the people I love.
    – Save your money, put it in real things, not only your wardrobe. Yes, start a pension plan if possible because it’s not too early.
    – Honestly ask yourself where you see that career or dream job taking you in 5 years time. You’ll find it harder to job-hop in your 30s where financial security takes on new meaning so you’re at the right window of time in your life to experiment.
    – Wear your heart on your sleeve sometimes: nothing ventured, nothing gained. This becomes harder to do in your 30s as you become more protective with your emotions so if you like a boy, give him enough signs to let him know. I’m not saying to show up at his crib in a trench-coat and nothing else; just drop hints from time to time.
    – Listen to what older female friends, already in their 30s, have to say. I wish I’d listened to mine more.
    – Take care of your teeth!! That’s one part of your body that doesn’t grow back so if you’ve never be to a dentist, VISIT ONE TODAY! OR ASAP!! Enough said. Find yourself a gyno, too.

    And when you do get to 30, if you turn that age with an open mind, there’s a lot of consolidation which happens with many things I’ve mentioned above as you start to make decisions about YOU and YOUR own happiness, aiming at the same time to start preparing a legacy of the life you’ve lived. Please do not mistake your 30s as being this egoistic journey to self – that’s what your teenage years were for but this new chapter is about adding value to you and the lives of others.

    Finally, not everyone will rejoice about this decade with you and there’ll always be some cretin that points out that “you’re getting old, oh” but that’s okay. Always ask them if they prefer the alternative scenario where you’re dead and see how they answer. God’s plans for you are constantly unfolding and He has created a new joy behind each corner that’s turned so keep expecting more, more and MORE for every year you celebrate. xx”

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