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Aunty Bella: Miss. Attractive But Single

BellaNaija.com

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Aunty Bella is our  agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice as well.

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Dear Aunty Bella,

I am a regular BN reader and I have wondered about this for a while now. I thought to bring it to the BN community to hear their thoughts and advice.

I am a very attractive woman in my late twenties. Yes, the who is this chick kind of attractive. I get the attention of people wherever I go, male and female alike. I am also warm, very lively and friendly. Basically, I am your normal everyday chick, going about my business, loving the Lord and pursuing my dreams.

It hit me that although men stare and admire me, I do not have any suitors. Not even one. All I seem to get are randy men with their stupid propositions. And yes. My dressing and comportment is above reproach.

A few people have told me I could be scaring men off. I honestly don’t know what they mean. Some say I look too beautiful and the average guy will think he can’t afford me. I take care of myself and make the most of what little resources I have. If a man thinks he can’t afford me, then he is right. Others say most just assume I am taken already. What happened to asking me? Some say guys may be shy. In my line of work I interact with lots of people and I have been told I am approachable and easy to relate to. So I don’t understand that either.

I have been told all sorts of things on how to hook a man. Go to places where men hang out. Table tennis courts. Doesn’t matter if I play or not. Make sure to attend a wedding every Saturday. Dress up and go sit in a lounge and nurse a drink for hours. Really.

I moved to Lagos last year after being on humanitarian work in Northern Nigeria for four years. I am yet to adapt to the hustle and bustle. After a long day at work and 2 hours in traffic, all I want to do is to have a warm bath and sleep. On weekends I mostly catch up on my reading, church activities and book keeping of my little business. I probably need to do more about my social life.

Dear BNers, where are the serious guys?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Suprijono Suharjoto

115 Comments

  1. Truth

    November 26, 2015 at 4:46 am

    Sweetheart please come of it, keep looking for that rich guy OK?.

    • Somtoo

      November 26, 2015 at 11:25 am

      Dearie. Will hit you with the truth. Your story is my story. The thing is at this age its hard to keep up with the intense social life the younger ones seem to enjoy these days. After long hours at work and lagos traffic, i dont have power for late night hangouts or just too much noise.

      So what did i do? social media! i updated my pictures and became active, posting funny stuff and interacting with people. i am deliberate and finnicky about people i add. i added friends of friends and increased my social circle. Never replied social media chats but now when they say hey, sister replies o with How are you. LOL. Result – I have 2 great suitors now. No be moimoi o.

      Secondly. Word of mouth! Are all your friends single like you? Darling it is a mistake. I keep single, in a relationship, semi engaged, engaged to be married and married friends. Then i have a few close male friends too. When i was ready to start dating a couple of months ago, I got the word out. Basically said, babes o, im ready to date, tell your men to introduce me to their brothers or friends. Told the guys, we cant date, then hook a sister up cos they are the ones saying babe, how can all the assets be wasting like this (silly guys).

      My dear, thats how i got suitors o. Some are lazy toasters, some are aggressive and some are just great but atleast i have options to choose from. My single friends told me to park in one corner, that are we not all in d market together, lol.

      That how i got toasters oo.

      Hope my tips will help you. You are not alone. In all these, dont lower your standards or seem desperate, these wolves can smell desperation a mile way. Just have reasonable standards if that mean anything. LOl Goodluck

  2. Californiabawlar

    November 26, 2015 at 5:20 am

    Lol. In fact, the more I think abourrit, lmao???
    My dear, this your last question can only be answered by Aristotle.

    Now that I’m done laughing, I’ll offer my condolences ?
    Okay, seriously now, I think the only way around it is matchmaking o. Tell your friends and aunties you’re single and available…just say it. I don’t know if there are any serious dating websites in Naija, not the ones for hookups o…good ones like them Match.com and co. You can join one of them.
    Also, reach out to old guy friends from Uni, a few you thought were kinda cool, but things just never ‘geled’. Nothing too heavy, just rekindle friendships….see if some of them are in Lagos. Even if some of your old friends have girlfriends now, becoming friends with the couple is a great way to expand your social circle.

    Warning! Warning! Warning!! Make sure you keep everything light and simple o. Don’t get clingy or desperate. Be intentional and self aware at all times. If you find yourself reaching out to a guy too much, or allowing some things just to make him stay….then it’ll be time to reevaluate. That’s why it’s better to be happy with yourself right now so you won’t be afraid to go back there.
    You don’t want to get ansy and end up in an exponentially worse situation.
    They will come, and when it rains, it will pour….just chill.

    Kisses ??

    P.s. BN commenters will come and tell her to keep busy, join the gym, learn basket weaving and join the intercessory group in church. Please she has not asked for fitness, financial or spiritual advice. She just needs some good loving and tenderness, so please let’s stick to the theme?✌?️

    • Atoke

      Atoke

      November 26, 2015 at 6:52 am

      LMAO @ Please she has not asked for fitness, financial or spiritual advice. LOLLL

      Indeed “Let’s stick to the theme”

      Doxology!

    • Abi

      November 26, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      The pity party on here is epic! lol. Its pretty difficult for both eligible men and women in Lagos. Too many frogs on both sides. I’m male, single and approaching my mid 30s. I’m mid-senior management in my organisation and somewhat busy most of the time. But then when i see so many women complaining that there are no eligible guys around, i wonder! Yes have a gym i attend and yes i have a church that i attend as well. But the issues i face i multi dimensional..multi faceted..sometimes the ladies you want to approach behave like they don’t want to be approached, some you approach ask the 101 questions like they want to know how comfortable you are before they bother, some that check out your car and your crib suddenly submit an EOI like it wasn’t obvious what they were after. Is it too much to ask for an intelligent, discerning, RELIABLE, down to earth, caring, understanding and focused babe who is also interested in being your buddy? Yes there are physical requirements too i admit but i’m quite sure they are reasonable. This is just the tip of the iceberg..i can go on and on. Good luck guys! I praying hard for myself too (and avoiding my prayerful Yoruba mama lol)

    • DD

      November 26, 2015 at 7:38 am

      Great advice. I agree that matchmaking might work for her. It’s a good idea to let family and close friends know she is interested in a serious relationship, I know a lot of people who were introduced by close friends and family and it’s worked out great for them. All the best to her.

    • nwanyi na aga aga

      November 26, 2015 at 8:55 am

      [email protected] Please she has not asked for fitness, financial or spiritual advice. But then seriously those places are good places to meet people easily without everyone being self conscious.But I think match making will help her a lot, but then it depends on the kind of friends and relatives she has. If she has the type I have she will be on a new date every week…looool! I really enjoyed those days shaa..meeting new people every time..the anticipation, the unraveling, the chase and finally the semi-end..But I digress..

    • Fashionista

      November 26, 2015 at 2:30 pm

      LMAO! Californiabawlar will not kill pesin. But I concur very much and for once, someone’s response is relevant to the question asked. They will soon start with the whole “improve yourself” matter.

    • Ngozi

      November 27, 2015 at 2:26 am

      Yes, she hasn’t and you have given her sensible tips but can I tell you that she cannot leave God out of this issue. Her issue is not unique at all because there are many pretty ladies with good assets who have these challenges. How do you then ask that the spiritual aspect be ignored. I believe in faith and works. Yes, you need to do your common sense part but you better still ask God for whom so steps can be ordered. Remember there will be a marriage after the wedding day. The wedding day seems glamorous, at least she got someone but how does she sustain a lasting marriage without God’s leading and direction. I am saying this from experience, I almost got married to the wrong man, I was close but somehow did not fall into the pit because God saved me and I am not ashamed to say that I prayed and fasted to get it right. For crying out loud this is not an issue of a choice between bread and beans for breakfast. I am talking about a serious issue that can even cause you to relocate, how do we then leave God out of it. Yes she attends church. Praise God for that but she still needs that personal time with God regarding this issue.

  3. AHausaChickInToronto

    November 26, 2015 at 5:49 am

    I’m in the same situation my dear, my own beauty is scary even oyinbo, Spanish and Italian men here are drooling over me but I know what they want :-/ or maybe I’m just being paranoid ***sigh*** As a fellow religious gal I think we should just keep praying to God and trust in his timing and as a realist I think we need to socialize more, but go to places you know or expect the type of man you’d like to be with would be. And please never listen to people that say change churches, contrary to popular beliefs a church should be a place where your soul feels at peace and at its best when worshiping God and not a husband hunting arena. There is nothing too difficult for our God, I hope I was able to help 🙂

    • John

      November 26, 2015 at 8:05 am

      Picture or I don’t believe you.

    • O'Kel

      November 26, 2015 at 8:42 am

      lmao…have faith na!

    • Nairaland

      November 26, 2015 at 1:37 pm

      I see some nairaland fan have invaded Bellanaija :). Pishure or don’t believe it haha..

    • larz

      November 26, 2015 at 9:47 am

      so what is wrong the oyinbo, spanish and Italian men?

    • AHausaChickInToronto

      November 26, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      I never said there was anything wrong with them, I just refuse to be someone’s chop and clean mouth tell you bye bye :-), and as I said maybe it’s just paranoia or my own intuition

    • Newyork

      November 26, 2015 at 11:15 am

      That is how someone advised me to leave my wonderful Redeem Church where i feel at home to attend Daystar all because am single. I just feel that isn’t right. why change my church of 5 years to attend Daystar for Husband hunting.
      God dosent work that way, your Husband will find you wherever you are, even if ure in a hole.

    • MissSparkles

      November 26, 2015 at 11:59 pm

      Do people find husbands in daystar?thats been my church for a long time and nothing like dat ooo.just raising role models

    • My my

      November 26, 2015 at 4:20 pm

      Where are the guys in Toronto tho ?? I don’t see them … I schooled outside the city so coming back home.. Social life with the opposite sex has been ……… I’m Catholic so I don’t even get to see Africans (esp Nigerians)… Maybe I should stop looking for naija guys… They say d good ones aren’t in the GTA sef ?

    • AHausaChickInToronto

      November 26, 2015 at 7:17 pm

      I don’t tend to see a lot of young Nigerian single guys as well, most are either in university kind of young or already married with children kind of young. There are a lot of black guys in Toronto (but not Nigerians) that have really good jobs and especially in TCC (too many hot guys in that church especially their central region Lool, that is why I don’t go to the church, to avoid distraction) you could go for their youth programs every now and then but I wouldn’t advice you to change your church to find a man… I hope I was able to help 🙂

  4. Tosin

    November 26, 2015 at 6:21 am

    What’s the actual problem?
    Somebody owes you marriage? If a proposal is what you want, go out and get it, or what’s all this silly I’m fine I’m perfect but nobody is crazy about me?

    “Go find your flatterers, and be better treated.” – The Misanthrope

    • Tosin

      November 26, 2015 at 6:23 am

      You want more? (from Richard Wilbur’s translation of Moliere’s 1666 The Misanthrope)
      O – And I maintain my sonnet’s very good.
      A – It’s not at all surprising that you should.
      You have your reasons; permit me to have mine
      For thinking that you cannot write a line.
      O – Others have praised my sonnet to the skies.
      A – I lack their art of telling pleasant lies.
      O – You seem to think you’ve got no end of wit
      A – To praise your verse, I’d need still more of it
      O – I’m not in need of your approval, Sir
      A – You couldn’t have it if you were.
      O – Come now, I’ll lend you the subject of my sonnet;
      I’d like to see you try to improve upon it.
      A – I might, by chance, write something just as shoddy;
      But then I wouldn’t show it to everybody.
      O – You are most opinionated and conceited!
      A – Go find your flatterers, and be better treated.
      O – Look here, my little fellow, pray WATCH your tone.
      A – My Great Big Fellow, you’d better watch your own…

      Somebody needs theater / lit bad. It’s been a while. Ooops.

    • M

      November 26, 2015 at 4:26 pm

      @Tosin, u seem “a lil’ cray-cray” but I like your style small small 🙂 + 1,000 likes for your 1st comment, very apt quote! NB: l’humilité précède la gloire, l’orgueuil la chute…

  5. truth

    November 26, 2015 at 6:27 am

    Please don’t ask BNers. According to them, Nigerian men are horrid creatures who cheat at every single opportunity, selfish, unromantic. In fact totally useless. Just read the comments section on relationship articles and you’ll get what I’m saying. Most of them don’t see anything good in us that it sickens me and I feel so sad when I visit this blog. The dangers of a single story

    • Teris

      November 26, 2015 at 8:18 am

      aww….
      that’s such a sad conclusion to draw from this forum.
      i think i get what u mean… but being that BN has a stronger female comment-orship, u need to understand that females need to talk out their issues. whereas the fellas just try to macho it out to a manageable compromise.

      nut really the reading wud be quite funny if it was predominantly filled with “i just love my boo, he so perfect!” – and since life as we kno it is no bed of roses, we’d all know that a wealth of such posts is mostly bs.

    • vikkox

      November 26, 2015 at 10:12 am

      How do i get in touch? 07054568407 some of us are good

    • Aisha

      November 26, 2015 at 11:23 am

      See advert oooo…LOL. wish u luck bro…

    • vikkox

      November 26, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      No not all men, we guys are out looking for responsible girls to get married to not those girls that are looking for guys to sub thier bbm for them, i guess d girls re making tins worse as most of dem rw not friendly even if u meet dem in weddings and try ti approach dem they frown their face as if u want to eat dem. ..here is my contact if u want to hookup 07054568407

    • Chi-e-z

      November 27, 2015 at 4:54 am

      Wah?! I think naija guys are Hawt, responsible, caring, protectve, romantic (some) oh and did I mention HAWT! 🙂 we <3 our naija guys just we tend to stick with them so much it's only them that hurt us(emotionally) sometimes. Just a case of too much familiarity

  6. Kelechi

    November 26, 2015 at 7:10 am

    This is the problem I have with most ladies, just because you look good and approachable doesn’t mean that I should approach you. You need be something more, think about it, there millions of other girls who are pretty, employed and approachable. let me tell u sth that happened back in 2011 in Copenhagen, I met a lady, hillary ray, she was basically what you described as u, but guess what she was non compete, while she relied on this generic features of hers, which is easily obtainable.
    one other lady (Cleo), which I happened to know, was more adventurous. Every encounter with cleo was engaging, she didn’t make me feel like a dog in heat, cos most of you ladies act like your shit doesn’t stink. But guess what ? Obele nsi na emebi ike. Cleo had a new set of the lingerie on whenever she and I did the deeds, she meets me halfway for a pick up, and most importantly she a feminist.
    Instead of listing all those generic feature, as a reason for you to have a man, why don’t you become sth more ?

    • Lotusflower

      November 26, 2015 at 7:27 am

      Huh?

    • DD

      November 26, 2015 at 7:36 am

      Your advice may work for some women but I’m not sure it’s the most helpful advice for this particular writer, as she doesn’t seem to be the type that just wants to “do the deeds” with the guys she meets – she’s had lots of offers for that already and clearly hasn’t taken them. She seems like the kind of lady that would prefer to show her man all those “new sets of lingerie” after marriage, if you get my drift. People are different, and I’m sure you’d agree that women who aren’t like ‘Cleo’ also deserve to find love. So apart from advising the writer to be sexually available and adventurous (and to be a feminist, which she very well might already be), do you have any other practical advice?

    • Sisi

      November 26, 2015 at 7:49 am

      Take one Orijin on my tab DD

    • O'Kel

      November 26, 2015 at 8:50 am

      Better pikin 😉

    • vikkox

      November 26, 2015 at 10:31 am

      There guys out there is just that most of this girls are being picky..wanting a rich dude just to show dier friends dat they re on top..that is just the problem

    • Audrey

      November 26, 2015 at 11:13 am

      Alomo two shots for you,DD!

    • Thatgidigirl

      November 26, 2015 at 7:53 am

      Hilary Clinton didn’t like you (and I can see why), that’s why she didn’t do more….did you stop to think that may be the reason? Cleopatra nwa akuna found you more appealing and was probably in heat. Every lady cannot be Betty from grease….bold, energetic and sexually adventurous. If u’re looking for entertainment, go to a circus, what a Lady has to offer in the first meeting probably ends at her looks, wits, intelligence, poise etc anything you look for beyond that…..Na you know wetin u dey find.
      As for the Lady in question, try not to let desperation set in. You’re over thinking this matter my dear, I’ve met guys in the most unsuspecting places airport, fuel station (there’s fuel scarcity, so now wld be a good time lol), my pic on ppls dps etc. They usually come when you’re not looking, so keep being you and have fun while at it. Men can smell desperation and know a content and happy woman.

    • californiabawlar

      November 26, 2015 at 8:51 am

      Lmao! Babygal I don’t usually understand Ibo, but when I do, I only know words like AKUNA!! **Coversface**….hehehehe.

      Hilary Duff na serious akunakuna….at least she chose to be for him that one steamy summer in Copenhagen…. phew! Hotness! I can’t even judge her and her exquisite collection of lingerie.

      Mazi Sule, so after all the mental stimulation she brought to the table, she still ended up being just a hookup? Bruhhhh! I bin think say you go finish your moonlight tale by saying yall ended up being soulmates….but it turns out your dingaling is the grand price….shuuuu…I swear i didn’t know I needed to have a publishable manuscript on the probable solution for world peace to get the D. **sideeye**

    • Teris

      November 26, 2015 at 8:47 am

      This is the problem with ur advice: “… You need be something more…”
      she is trying to figure out what the something “more” is.
      and it is not necessarily getting down to do the deed.
      it may be: don’t be too uptight, laugh a little
      it cud be reconsider the feathers u’re flocking with

      and it cud simply be chill out and be the right you that love is on the way to meet.
      @AttractiveSingle: suffice to say, the internet will only give u generic and outrageous advice. be adventurous and try them all or try something that resonates with u.
      peace.

    • jhennique

      November 26, 2015 at 9:51 am

      And where are you and cleo today?

    • Memebaby

      November 26, 2015 at 4:33 pm

      Gbam! (Had to bring dat back) una don marry or u are engaged ?
      ” be something more ??”

    • lola

      November 26, 2015 at 6:55 pm

      I hope it’s not the same Kelechi that likes to f..k raw, give belle and make the babe comot belle.

    • biols

      November 26, 2015 at 11:31 am

      so from your epistle of life what is the summary abi conclusion

    • elsa

      November 26, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      I mistakenly liked your comment…minus 1 pls..

    • nala

      November 26, 2015 at 8:48 pm

      Kelechi, you’re beginning to show yourself as a man or boy who lacks reasoning. This is about the 2nd silly comment you’ve made this week. The first was the Ice T’s statement. “She had new set of undies” my ass!

    • ElessarisEllendil

      November 27, 2015 at 1:38 am

      “Obele nsi na emebi ike” Ehn Small Shit/Pupu/Feaces/excrement spoils Strength or Small Shit/Pupu/Feaces/excrement spoils the Buttocks????????/

      Dude WTF man!!

    • Somtoo

      November 27, 2015 at 10:13 am

      hahahahha. Kelechi is not thinking well

  7. Sisi

    November 26, 2015 at 7:23 am

    Currently in your shoes honey. I’ve been told – you need to go out more now, you have to attend weddings oh and so on. How many places and weddings would I attend mbok?

    • Tosin

      November 26, 2015 at 10:30 am

      You haven’t tried “Gulder Ultimate Search”

      every body chill

    • udyluv

      November 30, 2015 at 11:28 am

      Sometimes I wonder…. attend weddings etc. So I shld also attend uninvited weddings Becos say I dey find man. I think everything is by the grace and mercies of God. I am also in d same shoes with d writer. I am very beautiful and most pple tell me in fact self na national anthem but no man has approached me for marriage. I believe there is time set aside for everyone and wen d time comes, u will surely meet ur miracle but if u force d time to come wen it’s not yet time, u might end up meeting d wrong person. God created everyone and according to jere 29:11, he has good plans for everyone. We need to trust in his timings.

  8. Asake

    November 26, 2015 at 7:34 am

    . As Californiabawlar said make sure you keep it light. Trust me that’s a very important advise.

    Without taking you out of your comfort zone, I would advise
    (1) Join a book club or read at a bookstoore during the weekend – Terra Kulture and Glendora offers this.

    (2) If your church has different branches, try attending service there or attend another church’s program one per quarter

    (3) If you family members live in Lagos, offer to drive them to owambe and make sure you attend too

    (4) Add one fun outdoor activity which you enjoy doing to your weekend schedule.

    Don’t go about thinking why am I single, enjoy the ‘single’ moment

    • biols

      November 26, 2015 at 11:33 am

      my dear you are so right…. enjoy the single moment hmmmmmm

  9. John

    November 26, 2015 at 8:08 am

    Dear op. I can only say that its because we haven’t met. You see we are meant to be together and anything less is unacceptable.

    Now u think am joking right. OK I may be pulling your leg just a little.

  10. Lem

    November 26, 2015 at 8:20 am

    @ Asake, the best thing you have said is ‘don’t go about thinking why am I single, enjoy the single moment. I was in her shoes once, all my friends were in serious relationships but it seemed like I could never get lucky. I cried, continuously mourning my ‘single status’ like it was a curse. As God would have it when I decided to stop stressing over relationships that I met my now hubby and the rest is history. My advice is enjoy life, do extracurricular activities BECAUSE YOU WANT TO NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE SEARCHING FOR A MAN PLEASE. Trust me, when HE appears you will wonder why you were even worried.

  11. gift

    November 26, 2015 at 8:24 am

    my dear try metro 97.7 every Wednesday. thats where the miracle is. but sha be careful

  12. pastorpikin

    November 26, 2015 at 8:25 am

    hi! dis may sound too common, but just be yourself. all dis join a bookclub, a gym or new chu, it is not you that will find him(they will say position yourself abi). ok, let’s say u join a bookclub, and u meet someone and you are not so into books, are you going to keep pretending you like books. most pple I know met there spouse in places they did not anticipate-still living their normal lives. in their workplaces, on the bus, in chu, through pple they know.

  13. mimi

    November 26, 2015 at 8:34 am

    This happened to me a few years before I got married. And I remember my neighbor saying “huh, you don’t have any worries, guys are all over you as you are a very fine girl”. And I smiled at his assumption.
    I told him “in the end, no matter how many toasters you have, if you don’t find the ONE right man, it’s all a waste ”
    Here some things I did, don’t know if it works for everyone:
    1) I worked on my expectations. Apparently I expected my prince charming to look, dress and talk in a particular way. I had to focus on what really attracts me to a guy. I’m sapiosexual and figured if my main attraction was intelligence and the like, I’ll have to engage in conversations. So when this not-my-dress-style guy engaged me in a conversation after a service I had to reset my brain to build the conversation. We are married and his dress style has changed, for the better.
    2) I had to rest. I was just too agitated. I was always thinking, is it this one? No I don’t want that one o! My husband still laughs at me today that our first conversation was filled with underlying agitation. I argued with him but deep down I know I was saying in my head “What does he want? Lord this is not what I asking for o, see his shoe “. The truth is only one conversation of the many you have will lead to marriage, so rest! Meet people, make friends, if you are introduced to a guy give him an opportunity,

    • L

      November 26, 2015 at 9:58 am

      ???

    • stylo

      November 26, 2015 at 10:07 am

      you are so right, RESET is the key,

    • nwanyi na aga aga

      November 26, 2015 at 11:00 am

      [email protected] See his shoe Chi moo

  14. Cindy

    November 26, 2015 at 8:37 am

    Important notice:
    Don’t give kelechi any attention. He is the guy who made a girl have abortion for whatever dumb reason he had. If you get aunty Cleo pregnant too, will you give her money to abort too?

    • Ybbil

      November 26, 2015 at 9:59 am

      Don’t mind Kelechi, jobless irresponsible man, looking for sex partners up and down, I just pray you won’t go and have sex with emere (ogbanje) that will spoil your destiny

    • nwanyi na aga aga

      November 26, 2015 at 11:01 am

      Ahn ahn cindy He will na, Have you forgotten that is “his responsibility” Hahahahhahahaha! Thank God for the Chinco people that patronize his business.

    • Ugly cindy

      November 26, 2015 at 12:00 pm

      And Cindy is the ugly, short and dark girl who has never had a boyrfirend and sad no man approaches her. She is tired of life and has become a forceful feminist because of this.

      You this girl, you still dey talk?hmm

  15. EIO

    November 26, 2015 at 9:03 am

    Well Sister, I don’t think you should be worried about this. You just need that one person that will make everything feel right. He can show up any time and anywhere esp WHEN YOU ARE NOT EXPECTING. So be nice as always and also very PRAYERFUL. My 2 cents

  16. Dr. N

    November 26, 2015 at 9:05 am

    I recommend to all BNers this book I just read, “How to shop for a husband” by Janice Lieberman. You will love it. Not all the advice is godly but it is mostly common sense.
    Dear poster, u don’t need many men. You need 1 good man. May he locate u soon. Cheers.

  17. chika

    November 26, 2015 at 9:12 am

    yeye they smell…..

  18. Really Tired

    November 26, 2015 at 9:21 am

    I am presently in the same dilemma. Albeit, my greatest worry has been that Im turning 29 next year and I keep thinking who will want to marry a lady who is going on 30? The only luck i have is that I have a small frame so i rarely look my age. I work as a consultant and happen to go to different client locations, albeit all the men seem to have wedding bands on. I think being Ibo has even made things more complicated as I keep meeting non-ibo guys.

    • Idomagirl

      November 26, 2015 at 11:14 am

      Mahn. Don’t let the age bit get to you o, I know in our society it can be hard, but don’t let it bother you. And what’s wrong with non-Igbo guys? Don’t limit your choices based on tribe you never know…

    • Omo nla

      November 26, 2015 at 11:40 am

      I have two questions for you.
      1. What do you want single ladies in their 30’s to say, if you at 29 have condemned yourself like this?
      2. what is wrong with non- igbo guys?
      Sometimes, we are our own problems… in 2015 ? SMH

    • hopealive

      November 26, 2015 at 8:03 pm

      Exactly my dea,r what does she want me to say? I’m 32, very beautiful, when I pass men drool like they’ve never seen a woman before. Did I mention I’m a virgin too? Does it bother me? Of course. But I’m thankful for many blessing God has brought my way and I try to stay positive, I pep talk myself out of depression cos this has taken a toll on my self esteem.
      After series of dissapointments, I still believe in love and keep hope alive. Only the living can do that.

    • generic Igbo guy

      November 26, 2015 at 7:02 pm

      Maybe because you don’t know the right way to spell Igbo. Hopefully you find an IBO guy soon.

  19. Las

    November 26, 2015 at 9:34 am

    I agree with the person who said you should tell people you are single. I will make it even more specific – find a male cousin, work colleague, friend etc that you KNOW (know being the key word!) is above board and tell him you are single and you will leave the matchmaking in his hands (you can tell all of them the same thing 😀 ). Real men love ‘work’, so just let them match-make in their own way.

    Men understand other men and will be able to tell you straight away which guy is good for you and which is not. All the best, I hope he finds you soon.

    • Annalise

      November 27, 2015 at 1:59 am

      My own issue is the guys I told to connect me with their friends are asking me out. What makes it odd is that they are not even single. They enjoy my company and just use it to string me along.. cockblocking silly ass wingmen. And the female friends are too nosy/intrusive.

  20. Benbella

    November 26, 2015 at 9:38 am

    Ha ha @ Betty from Grease. I love that movie. Look at me, I’m Sandradee…. Won’t go to bed/ till I’m legally wed..

    • vikkox

      November 26, 2015 at 12:27 pm

      Lol…funny you, God is in control

  21. MyStory

    November 26, 2015 at 9:51 am

    For a long time, this was me. At some point I started thinking I wasn’t fine enough that the beauty had faded. Met too many people who wanted me in bed, even old men with gorgeous wives wanted me too. It was like a curse. I would meet single guys that I did not really like but because I didn’t have other prospects, I decided to date the ones I didn’t really like. Once I indicated any slight interest, the guy chasing me would stop chasing me ozigbo! I would then be the one making all the moves. Fear begin catch me o!

    When I went to do my Masters, I met one guy in class who I thought I could be with, the guy even made moves. Next thing I discovered he was soon to be married sef and was just looking to fling one last time. I was down in dumps.

    Then I let go o. I started living my life normally and doing the things I normally do and the unthinkable happened. I met a guy through my cousin, we became platonic friends next he was talking love and here we are with our introduction some weeks away.

    Nne, just remain who you are and be very open. When it happens, you no go even know!

  22. Ybbil

    November 26, 2015 at 9:57 am

    Hi poster, all I want to say is live your life. Don’t do extracurricular activities just because you are looking for a man, let your man find you. In the meantime do you, have fun with your friends, go about ur normal life and keep being nice and friend ly to people, u never know who is watching.
    Because trust me, if you start joining book clubs, gyms, going to new churches, you are already behaving desperate and before you know desperation would ooze around you. Calm down and be you. Oh yeah, and shld in case people asked for your numbers at any place you are in, give them, they may not look like your perfect picture that particular day, but they might justbe the perfect person meant for you. Relax!!! There are still plenty good men around. Boaz found Ruth when she was minding her business literally. Relax.

  23. priceless

    November 26, 2015 at 10:02 am

    importantly please my dear dont over do it,i use to think about it at times, sometimes my old friends will say why are u still single what are all these men looking for that they have not seen you,are they blind?with all these your shape and body and face bla bla bla, and it gets to my head and i will be thinking maybe its all dis winchy winchy LOL etc. but now i have past all those thought, now i think of making me happy, i think of what God thinks of me. i dont over do it anymore,i dont try to impress any man, i dont even wear makeup when am meeting a guy for the first time. i allow God serach for me. i use to think i can get any man i want with all i got but my dear i have realise that men now adays look beyound special apprearance ooooooo….now my slogan to myself each day when i pray is; FATHER LORD PLEASE DIRECT MY STEP TO WHERE MY HUSBAND WILL LOCATE ME AND ALSO DIRECT HIS PART WHERE I WILL LOCATE HIM…..There is a man for every WOMAN whilewise MEN. just be happy and leave your worries fo GOD to handle…have a great weekend.

  24. Easy n Gentle

    November 26, 2015 at 10:04 am

    Break your routine. Get out of your comfort zone; and while you’re in that not-comfort-zone, don’t be in a rush to get back. Be at ease and enjoy the new experience. Genuine Happiness, has a way of drawing people in, the kind you want to meet.

  25. stylo

    November 26, 2015 at 10:05 am

    “If a man thinks he can’t afford me, then he is right. ” Problem know problem solved. It what u present that people see, mayb u OVERDO, you need a guy and when they come around watch the kinda way you present yourself. Am not saying dont package or present to the world that you are Ok. Just be moderate in all you do even the way you blow grammer (i guess). Getting a guy or lady is not by amount of seminar wedding one visit but what you do with each guy/babe you meet

  26. Great Lady

    November 26, 2015 at 10:08 am

    Sweetheart just calm down. You’ll meet him when you least expect. Don’t be desperate abeg, a guy can see this and take advantage of you. Just trust God bae.

  27. larz

    November 26, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Whenever girls starts with I am very pretty but no toasters or something to that effect. I shake my head a little. What you open with gives an idea of what you deem most important. If you have a CV and you wanna apply for a job, you are likely to have your most relevant skill for each role listed first. For a project lead role, you will start with you are great at delivering to deadline, for an accounting role, your head for numbers is listed first etc. If when you think marriage, your beauty is what you list as first, then I fear you may have missed the point to what marriage / solid relationships are based on.

    That aside, being single is a blessing just like being married. Enjoy each stage in your life as it comes becomes in most cases, you can never go back. I wont say your desire to want a relationship is wrong. It isn’t. But don’t be so focused on wanting to be in a relationship that you dont enjoy fully the joys of being single. No matter how happy you are in marriage, you will definitely miss they days where all the decision you have to make is whether to stay at home or go out, whether to cook or order take out, whether to watch TV in bed or in the living room.

  28. larz

    November 26, 2015 at 10:26 am

    To your question. How to find a husband? Well, I say keep doing what makes you happy and fulfilled and add a little bit of socialising every week. By socialising, I mean engage in activities that gets you meeting new people in an environment that facilitates discussion/ engagement with others. Cinema/ clubbing doesn’t count towards social engagement because you are watching TV in silence. I tend not to include weddings, bars and clubs in these category of social engagement either unless because it is like a meat market. Most guys believe that all single girls in a wedding are desperate for a man so they either avoid them or players prey on them. Plus you dont get to shine or really stand out other than your look.

    In choosing social activities, I will encourage you to choose an activity that you really enjoy. If you hate books and join a book club, you will probably look bored. Even if someone engages you in conversation about it, you may not be of more interest to them. If however, you choose an activity you are passionate about. Your fulfillment and excitement about it will attract people- men and women alike. Even if you dont find someone in that social group, that fulfillment from it follows you everywhere and you will be visibly happy. Your new sunny attitude will be be a magnet attracting people to you. When you meet an interested guy and you guys talk about your interest. He will probably be impressed by how fulfilled you are even if he doesn’t share you hobby. Why is it happy you are fulfilled, if yyou are happy and fulfilled alone, a good husband will complement you and wont take to much effort to keep you happy and fulfilled.
    My activity was church homeless outreach programs, women empowerment program and welcoming visitors at church. My hubby didn’t particular get why I was so interested in walking out in the cold talking to homeless people (he wouldn’t be caught dead doing it), or welcoming people to church (which was key to how we started talking) but he could see how passionate I was about it and thought it was cute how animated I get about my projects that it made me seem interesting and wholesome to him.

  29. Penny

    November 26, 2015 at 10:58 am

    Too many single women on BN. Match making is a good way to meet people, I met my husband through match making by a friend. We hit it off instantly and started dating before even seeing each other physically, just pictures as we lived in different countries. We didn’t even see each other till six months later. Maybe BN should do like a match-making post. Where single ppl can drop dere e-mails, talk abit about their self,age,occupation,faith,a bit on how they look,tall,short etc and the sort of partner they are looking for, age bracket and co. Stella dimoko does this on her blog and she claims ppl have gotten married or planning weddings, off course there wld be the bad eggs like guys who are married n just playing around, but as a grown woman u shld do ur own investigating before getting involved with someone. It’s just an idea o, before BN and other commenters chop me raw.

  30. Rose

    November 26, 2015 at 11:37 am

    Dear poster, believe me I know how it feels…you need to stop worrying your pretty head about it…but definitely work on your social skills…go out more often but not excessively or to every party going on. I mean you don’t have to go out Friday night…. You could go out Saturday morning…. Also be open minded about social media like face book….but the key is not be obsessed with meeting sm1….just breath and enjoy your life….but the most important thing is to pray….believe me that works wonders….Write a list of what you want in a man and offer it before the alter of God and when you do this tell God this is what you want….but that at the end of the day let his will be done not your will…and that he should give you the Grace to accept his will for your life… That may you be blessed with the Grace to identify your husband and may what is yours never elude you. Try to include this in your morning devotion everyday, and watch God take over. Also include that any ungodly mask convering you should be destroyed by the blood of JesusChrist because He is the only God you worship and has the final say in your life. Believe just do this and don’t stress cos God has the final say. He said we should come to him all that are weary and burden and he will give us rest.

  31. beauty

    November 26, 2015 at 11:43 am

    Dear Poster, Take this from someone who cares about your predicament, Go Spiritual… Because clearly from what you have written about yourself, you are quite qualified physically and character-wise. So once more my dear, seek the face of God wholeheartedly and he would give you exactly your heart desire, plus more!

  32. Vanessa

    November 26, 2015 at 11:49 am

    Hi Dear,
    You should definitely come to one of our singles games night. Its super fun and a great way to network and meet people in similar situations. All participants are screened before hand so no creeps. lol. Send us your details via email to [email protected] and I will send you details on the next event okay. Looking forward to meeting you.

    • nikky

      November 27, 2015 at 2:32 pm

      hi Vanessa, can I send my details too? 😉

  33. Mz Titilitious

    November 26, 2015 at 12:07 pm

    just pray and believe shikena

  34. Vanessa

    November 26, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    Hi Dear,
    You are not alone . You should come to one of our singles games night event. its a great fun way to meet people without trying too hard. Send us an email [email protected] and we will send across details of next event.

  35. Abby

    November 26, 2015 at 12:34 pm

    please who knows of any place one can learn how to swim on the island

  36. Personal Signature

    November 26, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    Please accept my heart felt empathy, dear.

    1. Nothing is wrong with you dear, its a new age social problem.

    2. Eligible men are scarce. A fraction may be struggling to get their bearing and may not even have enough to marry, another fraction may be hooked, as there are other ladies seeking for a partner too; others may be married and not available.

    3. It is a general perception that an extra ordinarily beautiful lady is taken- i have many around me, but in the real sense, they are not. Therefore men could believe you are taken. If you use rings, you may be sending the wrong signal.

    4. Attitude/Personality/Behaviour. Many of us sometimes over carry ourselves, frown or not so approachable. Beauty isn’t anything. The more humane, friendly, loving and jovial we are, the more people we attract to ourselves. Please drop this idea of – i quote you “If a man thinks he can’t afford me, then he is right” Two “employed” adults (even if they are on FG graduate entry level 8 with 70/80k salary) , can achieve anything in life, “with time”

    5. Reality check.- Many a times we fail to be realistic in our goals, ambitions and dreams. It is good to have standards, but we need to align them with events around us. May be we have unrealistic expectations, do some reality check.

    6. Yes, you need to position yourself. Move & flock with people who have same goals. Be in the company of youths who are single, churches with a youthful population, social functions and gatherings.

    7. Above all, pray! Whatever is bad needs prayer to be good; whatever is good needs prayer to be better; whatever is better needs prayer to be best; whatever is best needs prayer to be preserved, so pray.

    8. Having done all this, be anxious for nothing. It is beyond what you can do. Just do your own side of it above, hand it over to God and enjoy the moment. No amount of anxiety, thinking, sleepless nights, worries can add a day to the 24hrs that makes a day. We will rejoice with you soon.

    Cheers

    • Ms Jayee

      November 26, 2015 at 4:09 pm

      The best comment here! Thank you for sharing.

  37. Jey

    November 26, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    Hi Poster, I can totally relate with you. Am in the same position as you and also have few friends with me in this, lol…of recent, we just told ourselves never to bother our pretty head anymore. If mr.husband comes today or tomorrow we will gladly accept him. Currently, am focusing on other aspects of my life and making them better and yes i still do social events/activities every now and then when am less busy. All things being equal i will still get married someday.

  38. Abi

    November 26, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    The pity party on here is epic! lol. Its pretty difficult for both eligible men and women in Lagos. Too many frogs on both sides. I’m male, single and approaching my mid 30s. I’m mid-senior management in my organisation and somewhat busy most of the time. But then when i see so many women complaining that there are no eligible guys around, i wonder! Yes have a gym i attend and yes i have a church that i attend as well. But the issues i face i multi dimensional..multi faceted..sometimes the ladies you want to approach behave like they don’t want to be approached, some you approach ask the 101 questions like they want to know how comfortable you are before they bother, some that check out your car and your crib suddenly submit an EOI like it wasn’t obvious what they were after. Is it too much to ask for an intelligent, discerning, RELIABLE, down to earth, caring, understanding and focused babe who is also interested in being your buddy? Yes there are physical requirements too i admit but i’m quite sure they are reasonable. This is just the tip of the iceberg..i can go on and on. Good luck guys! I praying hard for myself too.

    • Me

      November 26, 2015 at 4:43 pm

      Oga, yours is a sorry case. Yes ladies may be after your money but there are too many fine, cute, intelligent and well to do – single girls out there who are ready to settle down. They are too much for you to say you cant find any. You need prayers!

      BTW
      There is a girl like that i admire. She ignores her chats and calls.

      Had a vacancy in my office and sent to her. she didnt even know i was the one that sent it to her. Bumped into her one day and asked her if she had applied? ( (when i mention where i work, automatically you know there is money),

      She said “Wow so it is you that sent it? i didn’t even know. And you behave as if you don’t have money. Oya let us talk now? Can i come to your office on monday? What time can i call you……

      just shook my head and knew this is a sorry case. My interest in her died from that day.

      Girls will never learn. Is it money you want or love?

    • Teris

      November 27, 2015 at 8:51 am

      not to excuse her utter lack of tact but females do need the assurance of (financial) security whether the in certain terms or verifiable potential.

      kind of like: the recognition that marriage (or even a mid-term hookup) will not survive the lack of financial grease is a reflex.

      in real terms, money gives u less to worry about. and be honest, ur financial capability empowers ur comfort/confidence level in approaching women (of a certain “class”), no?

    • Memebaby

      November 26, 2015 at 4:59 pm

      Hope you find the one,… Where are my senior sisters on here.? .?

    • Puzzles

      November 26, 2015 at 5:28 pm

      Bros no vex.

      Nobody wan suffer

      On a serious note, stop assuming that every girl is after you because you’re doing well financially. Yes, there are some gold-diggers but there are also honest-hearted ones. I’ve known of guys who have lost really nice ladies who genuinely loved them just because of such assumptions.

    • someone

      November 26, 2015 at 5:55 pm

      Hi can we meet? Mail me [email protected]

  39. Lord Stussie

    November 26, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    My take is this,I will be tempted to cheat IFF (only engineers & scientists would understand this though) all attempts to change my lady fails. Nigerian men are not cheats,there is a compelling narrative in this dating circle that makes men want to flip a new page.
    Every man should try and work out his “salvation! Men have more flaws than women.When a woman is loved correctly,the angel in her comes alive.I would like to marry a committed God lover< someone with a deep sense of humor..lover of music,arts poetry and fashion.
    As a sister..do you want to find real love? try volunteering for a cause, event or a walk.True love will find you! won't mind meeting a real sister tho. 08099702322.

  40. Annienonymous

    November 26, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    Pray tell! Are you married to Cleo now??

  41. Memebaby

    November 26, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    Gbam! (Had to bring dat back) una don marry or u are engaged ?
    ” be something more ??”

  42. Chic

    November 26, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    Most of u guys keep chasing shadows. sometimes u have the person around u but u keep chasing the one that already has enough hooks on her neck. most of u guys don’t even know what u want. Some are so full of themselves. Be the kind of person u expect in ur life. There’s still some of us good women, but u men ain’t just helping. Pray u meet the one for u, and pray u have the sensitivity to connect to it when u see it. it may not always come packaged the way we expect. Guys should stop judging women from first impressions. Many of us are so big on first impressions that we miss out on pple who God has destined for us simply bcos we met them on their bad day. keep it real.

  43. Koffie

    November 26, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    @CaliforniaBawler, correct geh, lol.
    On the topic, I remember a friend telling me to stop walking with my close friend because she was yellow and ‘shining over me’, wtf? Wetin person no go hear on top this matter sef. And on telling aunties and friends that I’m single and open to dating, I’m way too shy to admit it cos I feel like it’ll be embarrassing as I’ve been boyfriendless since around July 2014. I’m working on that sha as my three close friends, a married colleague, two neighbours now know that I’m very single and wouldn’t mind matchmaking. The married colleague probably can’t help sha as she’s always talking about her single friends (30s) who she’s looking for eligible men for, still I jokingly chip in for her not to ‘forget me in paradise’. Another older friend thinks I have no worries as I’m young (early 20s) and in her words ‘shouldn’t even be thinking about a relationship’. Shuu, see me see wahala oo. To be fair on her, she probably says that cos she’d rather I prioritise my career as she got married early and can’t do her masters in the near future, also considering quitting her job to take care of her toddlers.
    Come to think of it, I have 4 brothers and none of them will matchmake me as they feel all the guys they are perverts. I’ll mention this my single status to my immediate brother today (I probably need a shot of orijin to tell him, lol). Did I mention that I have no social life as I’m sure those doing either ICAN, ACCA or CFA understand. It’s like there are no men in Lagos fa, just last year during NYSC, men were chyking me upandaan in Kwara. Eko o ni baje oo

    • Puzzles

      December 1, 2015 at 2:06 pm

      I’ve been since 2008

  44. angel idemo

    November 26, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    Abi, you are single, i am single and interested. Let us talk on [email protected]

  45. naijagem

    November 26, 2015 at 6:39 pm

    I knew people would eat this topic up lol. You and I are in the same boat. My advice to you is to be yourself and stay true to who you are. Never compromise your standards in attempt to be married. Marriage is not the totality of your existence. While you are waiting to fulfill that dream of meeting someone and falling in love, go dream other dreams or help someone else achieve theirs. AS far as how and where to meet the one, I believe getting the word out through friends and loved ones is a great way to go about. Also make sure whoever decides to play match maker for you truly knows you, your values and what you are looking for in a partner. Goodluck

  46. Ellie

    November 26, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    Dear Ms Attractivebutsingle,

    I was reading your story thinking it sounded like mine up until recently. It has been a year since bella featured my story “Miss depressed virgin” on this column at a time time when I was at the peak of depression wondering if I was okay and why the guys weren’t coming. So how have i fared since then, you may ask. First of all i must say it wasn’t easy, but i found courage in the kind words of advice from the BN community, and also from my spiritual adviser.

    Then i decided to change my mindset and live for me. I took up more activities, got into sports and fitness, travelled abroad on a fellowship for the first time this year (it was magical and of course i’m working on more trips lol), became more open about being single and told more people without shame or fear, i became open to matchmaking, meeting new people and giving those with prospects a chance, and most importantly i STOPPED praying about finding Mr Right rather i started thanking God for keeping him for me trusting that i will meet him sooner or later.

    That last part was hard but it was an advice given to me by my spiritual adviser. He said if i continued to pray about it, it would continue to consume me and the depression would only increase. At first i couldn’t understand how a priest would encourage me to stop praying about something that important to me, but i gave the advice a shot, and i found that it helped me to be free. So what i did was to tell God about the man i wanted but with an emphasis on thanking Him in advance.

    This year i have met more people and have made new friends especially those i met when i travelled and i am grateful for every second of life. I have come to value myself more and believe more and more that everything will fall in line for my good and i will give my testimony.

    I may or may not yet have met my husband, but bottom line is i am ready now. I am no more depressed and could not even imagine getting into a relationship in that former state. I have grown in the last one year and i am still growing, i love myself more and have discovered myself more. I keep working hard, learning everyday and believing in my dreams. I may not yet have money and job and other things i complained of back then, but i am thankful to God for I know those will come too.

    So my advice in short girl, let go and let GOD. Try to take your mind off it, keep working at being the best you can be, and thank God in faith that your man is out there and will meet you soonest. May God bless us all.

    Cheers 🙂

  47. Ellie

    November 26, 2015 at 7:53 pm

    Dear Ms Attractivebutsingle,

    I was reading your story thinking it sounded like mine up until recently. It has been a year since bella featured my story “Miss depressed virgin” on this column at a time when I was at the peak of depression wondering if I was okay and why the right guys weren’t coming. So how have i fared since then, you may ask. First of all i must say it wasn’t easy, but i found courage in the kind words of advice from the BN community, and also from my spiritual adviser.

    Then i decided to change my mindset and live for me. I took up more activities, got into sports and fitness, travelled abroad on a fellowship for the first time this year (it was magical and of course i’m working on more trips lol), became more open about being single and told more people without shame or fear, i became open to matchmaking, meeting new people and giving those with prospects a chance, and most importantly i STOPPED praying about finding Mr Right rather i started thanking God for keeping him for me trusting that i will meet him sooner or later.

    That last part was hard but it was an advice given to me by my spiritual adviser. He said if i continued to pray about it, it would continue to consume me and the depression would only increase. At first i couldn’t understand how a priest would encourage me to stop praying about something that important to me, but i gave the advice a shot, and i found that it helped me to be free. So what i did was to tell God about the man i wanted but with an emphasis on thanking Him in advance.

    This year i have met more people and have made new friends especially those i met when i travelled and i am grateful for every second of life. I have come to value myself more and believe more and more that everything will fall in line for my good and i will give my testimony.

    I may or may not yet have met my husband, but bottom line is i am ready now. I am no more depressed and could not even imagine getting into a relationship in that former state. I have grown in the last one year and i am still growing, i love myself more and have discovered myself more. I keep working hard, learning everyday and believing in my dreams. I may not yet have money and job and other things i complained of back then, but i am thankful to God for I know those will come too.

    So my advice in short girl, let go and let GOD. Try to take your mind off it, keep working at being the best you can be, and thank God in faith that your man is out there and will meet you soonest. May God bless us all.

    Cheers 🙂

  48. Nwa Achoghi ima

    November 27, 2015 at 3:53 pm

    Kelechi,Who said She is not ‘something more’?
    And what does having a change of lingerie each time You do the deed come into the matter?
    Is that what You mean by ‘different’?
    Hmmm.

  49. 29 in january

    November 28, 2015 at 11:30 am

    same here…i just decided not to make it a problem.. accept that u may get married at 35 if God so wishes and go about your business, look for your life outside a man/ marriage. read the book titled why men marry bitches. sum total is to make your life your own even if you eventually get a man. afterall you were born for more than marriage so why should your life be put on hold cuz your not yet married. focus on being the hottest and most desirable 29 year old out there! one will come when its time…no need to sleep in church, worry, cry and feel sorry for yourself…men sense that as desperation which u dont need.
    how many married girls have fulfilled their dreams…rather most of them even forget they have dreams and become engulfed in marriage fully. …this is the time to fulfill yours!!

  50. ilamosi

    December 29, 2015 at 11:36 am

    May I add that it’s really not ow attractive /sexy you are dat gets you a Hubby, with some people it’s just sheer luck. Life is tough meNh, I ve been living in abuja for 5 years now yet I ve Never dated an abj boys. …………dat town is full of yeye guys well since we are talking rship, if u get to come across a gud one BN people do send my way.#wink

  51. NUR

    December 30, 2015 at 6:39 pm

    I am a little late on this but pot-Christmas work things and I got reading all the juicy things I’ve missed on this blog. Some of the comments are hilarious I have to add.

    I feel you hun. I will not toot my own horn though but I do not think I am half-bad to look at and I have been single for a while. I believe you should put God first to be honest and focus on yourself and goals. I know it sounds cliche to most people. You don’t want and no one to pour cold water on your dreams because you’re married.

    When I start to panic about my singleness, I remember the prayer I said to God a couple of years back which was let no man that is not my husband approach me. God heard and I guess He is working on my Adam and I trust He will choose a man that is best suited for me.

    Marriage is not beans and I’m not about to manage some guy because Instagram wants to oppress me with wedding pics here and there.

    I agree with 29 in January, I’m 28 in April lol……Have a drink and remember Matt 6:33. x

  52. Ifeoma

    January 7, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    @abi I can so relate. I’m a single Lady too and it’s even worse, because like the poster said, men just assume you are not single. You seem like an interesting person. Can we be friends?

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