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Toke Makinwa asks “Is Cheating a Deal Breaker?” | WATCH

Adesola Ade-Unuigbe

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Toke Makinwa is out with the vlog of the week and in it she is basically asking if cheating should be a deal breaker in a relationship.

Watch the episode below.

Adesola is a BellaNaija editor and Voltron. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to BellaNaija.com.She's a lover of gist, novels, music and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media.To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - @adesola.au Twitter - @ThisConnectd

52 Comments

  1. madman

    November 26, 2015 at 6:26 am

    Hilary Clinton stayed.

    • Daizzy

      November 26, 2015 at 1:45 pm

      Aunty are you in directly asking for a validation to go back to your Agbaya husband?

      Please do what you wanna do and stop disturbing our peace!

    • FasholasLover

      November 26, 2015 at 10:57 pm

      So, her horseband cheated there4, the girl can no longer hv an opinion? She should hide under a rock, stop living….??? All u judgemental judys should let this girl be.

      BTW, TokestaRR looking frosh.

    • xd

      November 27, 2015 at 7:36 am

      She is still living with her husband o…. do not be fooled!

    • Surely

      November 28, 2015 at 11:02 am

      @Daizzy and @madman, you guys are stupid asf!
      Anyway, I’m happy Toke FINALLY has gotten the gist. This is the best advice she’s ever given.

    • nnenne

      November 27, 2015 at 6:43 pm

      @ madman…Bill cheated but was smart enough not to leave an evidence. How do you forgive and forget when b there is a life- long evidence?

  2. Lost Gidi Girl

    November 26, 2015 at 6:48 am

    Just watched Empire s2e9!

    Jamal kissed the new chick (Alicia)!!!

    Right now, I’m hot, cold, awake, dizzy, sweaty, itchy…………

    Is he BI? or is she gonna turn him BI? Or will he get P-wipped and turn straight? or is she a trans?

    I NEED ANSWERS!!!

    • Cindy

      November 26, 2015 at 8:29 am

      Thanks for the spoilers ?

    • Iris

      November 26, 2015 at 12:31 pm

      You are an annoying troll. This post had NOTHING to do with Empire and yet you came to spoil it for those of us who haven’t it. What is wrong with you? *hiss*

  3. ATL's finest

    November 26, 2015 at 7:13 am

    Well just ask Mel for she’s got the right answer 🙂 #Fitz&Liv# got her thinking deep about the answer.

  4. biiiii

    November 26, 2015 at 7:20 am

    seems dis chic always has very minimal content so tends to over stress, excessively repeats herself and throws in same options different terms…..to makeup the 9mins air time slot, think!

  5. Tosin

    November 26, 2015 at 8:03 am

    The story is very S&M.
    In real life she should totally seek her strength and her voice.
    In the relationship though, they can act out their little submissive-callous dynamic, a little bit. It’s not my thing personally, but they might like it?
    #AksGoggle, e.g. bdsm-sexperts.blogspot.com.ng/p/christian-kink-faq.html
    could equal happy evver after.
    But if the girl doesn’t actually like the “loser” lifestyle or even the act, then yeah, talk about it with the guy or drop the guy if not feeling him. I’m assuming they are “active” so please protection, before he uses his ashawo life to spoil your health.
    If you can’t speak up for anything, speak up for that one.
    Hope this helps.

    Toke’s advice started out lame, then got perfect, actually perfect, for the last 2-3 minutes.

    Also, seems like many Nigerian couples have been doing this S&M thing without knowing. As per, woman, where is my food? Haaa, baale mi, (drops to her knees) right away, wash your hands, here’s your beer.
    Looool. Shout out to our ancestors, parents…

  6. Natu

    November 26, 2015 at 8:21 am

    She stayed because it was benefiting. Home girl had a plan. Most of you African women stay because of fear, shame and pride. Don’t compare Hilary to y’all!!!

    • Child please

      November 26, 2015 at 9:42 am

      You really are a barrel of butterflies aren’t you. This loathing borders on ridiculous. If you were a man, I won’t even bother, but a woman, child please. Your opinion about African women is so judgemental and narrow minded, because you live or school abroad, you think you are better or have a better mindset. Hating on women who look EXACTLY like you. Let me tell you this, no matter how “white” you think you are or behave, or the superiority complex you have conferred on yourself, newsflash child, you will NEVER be them. You will forever be seen and treated by them as a black woman. If you like let all your friends be white, you will still be a black woman. No matter how “educated” you are, you will still be prejudiced against. The people you are running to embrace only tolerate you, don’t get it twisted. You are not one of them. You make money and you will still walk into Hermes in Paris and they will treat you like crap. Ask Oprah. You are not even anywhere near where she is and she doesn’t have this disgusting attitude towards her own people. We get enough flack from outsiders, we don’t need a negroid Uncle Tom’s mistress talking smack at us too. The African woman has had more dealt to her than any woman anywhere in the world. Her life is hard from birth, so allow her to not get it right most of the time. She is a work in progress. What do you know of her struggles? People like you make it out to seem as if white women are better than us. Hilary stayed because it benefitted her too. She had a plan. If she had divorced Bill that time, she would no longer have access to the corridors of power and home girl had a plan. Ex Mrs Clinton would NOT be running for President today with all the bells and whistles that comes with being Mrs Clinton. How is she better than an African woman who stays because of fear, shame or pride.. Have you walked in her shoes? Both women stayed. Monica wasn’t the only woman he cheated with, hers just became public. Hilary knew of his shenanigans and still stayed, so why shouldn’t we compare.? Your self hating brain has deduced that Hilary is better. Girl, you have a lot to still learn. Your 23 year old ignorant self knows nothing about real African women struggles, so sit your judgemental ass down and let life happen to you first, before you can have an opinion. If you like marry white, your kids will still be regarded as black and get the same prejudices, even if they are educated at Eton and Havard. There’s a level of self hate that makes you hate your own people. Women that look like you. Keep insulting African women. Your mother is an African woman, you came from a generation of African women. Look in the mirror coconut. YOU ARE AN AFRICAN WOMAN!!!!! Whether you perceive yourself to think better or should I say “different”, you can’t change the fact that you are an African woman too. So run along with that disgusting attitude house slave. Go lick the arses of white people, because that’s where you belong. Leave us be

    • Tari

      November 26, 2015 at 11:14 am

      Why waste your time and energy on a bile-filled kid?
      She just rants incoherently at African women. Best ignored.

    • FasholasLover

      November 26, 2015 at 10:27 pm

      @Child Please XXXXXX. Eloquence gets me anytime, everytime.

    • nunulicious

      November 26, 2015 at 11:02 pm

      ” Most of you African women stay because of fear, shame and pride”

      Fear-“What will happen to the kids? what will I do with myself if I leave”
      shame- “After how many years of being together, what will people say” “So I have failed my man, my children and myself”
      Pride- “I ain’t going to just up and go. No woman’s gonna reap the fruit of my labour after all these years; at least not without a fight”

      Question is, what is so wrong with the fear, shame and pride? and is it synonymous to only African women?

      I can also argue from the point that multiple spouses for the male partner/husband is more permissible in OUR culture, heritage and socio-economic conditions. The fact that it is frowned upon by the west and orthodox religion does not mean it is superior and right.

      but what do I know, i’m just an ordinary citizen.

    • ElessarisEllendil

      November 27, 2015 at 1:19 am

      Dang! abeg ejo biko! if I ever annoy you, give me warning to cease and desist first before you fire.

      ” negroid Uncle Tom” Mba odighi fair.

    • Ever Green

      November 27, 2015 at 10:09 am

      I love your response to our dear Natu, holier than thou attitude, i hope when life challenges happens you will stand tall .

    • Dayo

      November 26, 2015 at 10:03 am

      See her pointing fingers. “Most of you African women”. What are you? An alien woman. You and that man married to a white hoe Coco are just the same. Hillary shouldn’t be compared because she. Is Jesus or what. Uncountable white women have stayed with cheating partners. It is not a race thing. They don’t have better marriages, so get out of here with such nonsense tall

    • Itsjusme

      November 26, 2015 at 10:46 am

      The truth hurts! Majority of african women will just take the cheating bcoz of lack of independence, fear, status.

    • Somtoo

      November 26, 2015 at 12:14 pm

      Girl, cos you got long hair you think you are white? or what is the source of your confusion? What you mean by “‘most of you african women ?”

    • Natu

      November 26, 2015 at 6:49 pm

      Long hair is not synonymous to white women boo boo. Don’t have just because your hair is a mess!!!
      #blackgirllonghair

    • Natu

      November 26, 2015 at 6:50 pm

      Long hair is not synonymous to white women boo boo. Don’t hate just because your hair is a mess!!!
      #blackgirllonghair

    • Amiira

      December 1, 2015 at 2:40 pm

      I can see how white you are. #YeyeNatu

  7. Ibukun

    November 26, 2015 at 8:29 am

    Toke, u re asking us? We should ask you.

  8. mimimi

    November 26, 2015 at 9:32 am

    I honestly don’t understand why this question is even being asked. She is not married to him so why on earth does she have to put up with it? If you are married, that’s a different question as you made vows before God to stay through all circumstances and love covers a multitude of sin so God’s grace will abound to work through the problems but if just dating, please bounce quickly. I think that’s God showing you what you have to endure if you do go ahead.

    Meanwhile Toke, you don’t need anyone’s approval if you wish to forgive your husband because I am sure somewhere in this topic, is your own personal struggles.

  9. Ozzie

    November 26, 2015 at 10:00 am

    Toke is looking for a reason / support to return to Maje.
    Girl go get your man if you are willing to forgive him. Forget what the world will say. And ‘say’ they will!

  10. Diuto

    November 26, 2015 at 10:42 am

    I didn’t watch the vlog cant spare mb but Toke is it a deal breaker for you?

  11. bruno

    November 26, 2015 at 10:44 am

    toke he got another woman pregnant. if u are thinking on going back to ur cheating husband shame on u.

    • rima ben

      November 29, 2015 at 6:57 pm

      Did u wtch d video?

  12. Iris

    November 26, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    You are an annoying troll. This post had NOTHING to do with Empire and yet you came to spoil it for those of us who haven’t seen it. What is wrong with you? *hiss*

  13. Teni

    November 26, 2015 at 3:08 pm

    I was reading comments on a different blog on a post about Toke.Then I realized that the bleaching and fake accent were all for Maje. Its sad but the truth, Maje’s brothers are all involved with biracial women and even maje impregnated one, she was just trying to be his ideal woman. I used to dislike her before I figured this out, she probably has low self esteem, cause how will she change her accent and stick to the damn accent anytime she speaks? There has to be a reason that she does that. Its really sad that she had to do all this just to impress a man all because he has pedigree abi is it love?

    • Puzzles

      November 26, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      Maje impregnated a biracial woman? baby mama anita is biracial? the one I’ve been seeing her picture or is there another one?

      Abeg, it’s Toke’s life. Mind ya business. Toke, make a decision you would be happy with. At the end of the day, it is you that would live with the benefits/consequences not us. I have learnt not to judge when I don’t know what I would have done if I were in her shoes

    • ElessarisEllendil

      November 27, 2015 at 1:23 am

      ” her accent” Thing is Toke does not sound ‘un-Nigerian’ to me, don’t get the whole accent controversy.

      “there has to be a reason that she does that. ” I’m going to go out on a limb here and say its because she’s popular and making loads of money from it. Just maybe…….money>>>>>>Man……..just maybe.

    • Surely

      November 28, 2015 at 11:09 am

      OMG!!!! I always thought this too!!! The light skinned, long hair, fake accent is Maje’s spec and Toke lived for that!

  14. Annienonymous

    November 26, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    Am i missing something here? How did you conclude from Natu’s comment that Hilary Clinton is better than African women?

  15. Annienonymous

    November 26, 2015 at 3:53 pm

    That was for @child please

  16. Heretostay

    November 26, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    The question is …. do you listen to your instincts? because if you do, then majority of the issues we have will be sorted. Never sell yourself short.

  17. Natu

    November 26, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    Had a long day at school. I can’t be bothered to answer y’all. Let me get back to my studies. I don’t want to end up bare foot and pregnant in some man’s kitchen slaving my life away. Lol

    • Yep

      November 26, 2015 at 6:31 pm

      Yes, please get back to your studies and leave Bellanaija alone!

    • Di

      November 28, 2015 at 5:18 am

      Your earlier comment sure struck too close for comfort for many ladies here lol. Hard raw truth is bitter. In your defense to your response to someone’s reference on Hilary Clinton, I thought she was referenced because she is a strong no-nonsense intelligent leader and not race. Well let this be a lesson for you, never compare any non-black woman to a black women/women, no matter how valid or non-race related your argument is; because all a black woman will see is RACE and all forms of pains/insecurities will begin to emerge like a volcano.

    • Surely

      November 28, 2015 at 11:11 am

      Your comment was true. African women hate to feel like victims so when you call them out for being just that, they start getting extra defensive

  18. Diesel

    November 26, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    cheating is not a deal breaker in marriage, trust me there are things u re yet to see in marriage that is worst than cheating. Constantly putting ur spouse down in front of people, constant complain, not seeing anything good in your spouse and wickedness in marriage are worst of.

    • Cindy

      November 26, 2015 at 6:30 pm

      If u r cheering u r continuously putting your spouse down and you are being wicked so yh…..it is one of the worst things that can happen.

    • Surely

      November 28, 2015 at 11:12 am

      Thank you… I thought madam “cheating is better than putting your spouse down” was crazy

  19. nunulicious

    November 26, 2015 at 10:22 pm

    Cheating wasn’t a deal breaker for me.
    My partner cheated on me while we were dating. He called me one day out of the blues and confessed. We’d been together for about 3/4 years I think when it happened. Dealing with the act was one thing but what I struggled with the most was the paranoia and mind torment that engulfed me for almost a year after it.

    In retrospect, I think its the disappointment and the shock that was so big a deal. I was so blind sided by it. didn’t see it coming and it was quite hard to deal with. I think for people who suspect or are kind of mentally prepared for the scenario where a spouse cheats, it’s easier for them to deal with. But when you have no clue…it’s much harder.

    Still we dated for several years after that (never broke up) and are now married. I am deliriously happy and I think the same applies for him too. Even though I am happy, I am no longer naive. funny.

    Why did I stay? because after thinking about it carefully, pros outweighed the cons. Finally, there are other things couples can face in marriage-barrenness, in-laws intrusion, financial impropriety, domestic and verbal abuse, illness, character deficiency-why do people make so much fuss about sex and infidelity?
    but what do I know, I’m just an ordinary citizen.

    • Surely

      November 28, 2015 at 11:15 am

      He confessed to you meaning he was apologetic (I assume)… A repentant partner makes sense but they must be truly so, not one who enjoys what they’re doing. I think if you find out he still does it, you’d be a fool to stay.

    • purpliciousbabe

      November 28, 2015 at 5:28 pm

      NONSENSE. Absolute NONSENSE…It is stupid, rude and disgusting to believe or have the notion that there are worse things to suffer in marriage than ‘cheating’.

      I hold my head and I shake it in disgust. Absolute shame…Its a pity when we lack the comprehension and long term effect of what ‘cheating’ can do etc. Some men at least have some sort of deluded respect for their partners and keep ‘cheating’ as far as possible whilst some have no shame to boasting about it… Regardless, it is not something that should be encouraged or condoned. I like Toke’s advice it is on that person, It is about you and nobody else..
      Its shameful but I am darn sure I would raise my boys differently….

    • Guess-which-Dee

      November 30, 2015 at 6:56 am

      Neither was it a deal breaker for me too- After Le-boo confessed, I called up the lady (I still don’t know where I got the strength from, maybe my girl code belief that we girls need to stick together sha), cos I wanted to know what had happened from her own perspective (I think I was actually most concerned if I would be getting married to a user, etc).

      My decision and results I am living with makes me very cautious about how I respond to some of the issues people raise on social media, and sometimes, makes me feel I am living a feminist-lie but oh well-
      My experience also helped me develop compassion for brokenness- as at the end of the day, we are all broken.

      Finally, my experience jacked me out of innocence, and now I remember to pray and check in extra with my husband now

  20. ElessarisEllendil

    November 27, 2015 at 1:27 am

    “pros outweighed the cons. ” ?????? That’s all that really matters!

    • Surely

      November 28, 2015 at 11:16 am

      pls don’t be foolish. I’m sire to people like you the pros outweigh the cons if he’s a cheat but provides

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