French philosopher Jean-Paul Satre amongst many other ideas is notable for postulating how our minds react to awareness of conscious observation. In simpler terms, he wrote a book about how we automatically think differently when we are aware someone is watching. As regards to relationship, it seems the battle remains somewhere between the extreme case of showing off our partner till it’s just annoying to the rest of the world, and keeping it all a secret until we have set a date or at least a ring is involved.
Whether we like it or not, the more people know about our relationship, the higher pressure of expectation we feel on our shoulders to make sure it works out. You would be surprised just how much of the mind is occupied with not just what others think of us, but a strange need to cater to the ideas of people that don’t necessarily contribute more than Instagram likes to our lives. So with this in mind, when it is okay to go public with bae?
We all know that one person that has a new boo every three months. You know that person you secretly wish had enough common sense to allow the relationship run for some time before they start referring to the partner as another half or whatever term of endearment they choose to use. We watch these people secretly hedging bets in our mind for how long this one would last. Beyond social media public, there is also friends and family public. Unfortunately, the requirement to meet family members and mingle with friends has found its way to one of the ‘signs that he/she is into you’. In fact, for some people will end up even more afraid to breakup because they dread the judgment from the partner’s friends and family.
In my opinion, the push for meeting friends and family is best left to be situational, or till your partner suggest that they are ready. And oh, lest I forget, the most dreaded of all, territorial posting. Ladies and gentlemen, I am usually an advocate for different strokes for different folks, but on this matter, I will like to declare one stroke for all folk. DO NOT…I repeat…DO NOT! Do not go and make any kind of comments that will suggest some kind of relationship on your partner’s social media page, not unless you guys are already public with the relationship. I know guys that have been forced into setting their accounts on private and blocking girls over this invasion of privacy. Ladies, I don’t know if men have that territorial habit of leaving marks on social media feed. Might as well pee on me while you’re at it…just to show whose territory we are in.
Exposing our relationship to others not only puts our partner in a position of pressure; it also puts us under pressure because no one wants to talk fondly about a man/woman and then end up a week later like ‘false alarm, frog masquerading as prince’ or for guys, ‘never mind, the shoe didn’t fit this Cinderella.’ Perhaps the speed at which we decide to make our dating lives the business of others is something we need to consider a bit more closely before grabbing the selfie stick and hunting for likes.
P.S Do you have a story of public offering you weren’t too ready for with friends, family, or social media? Please join the conversation on the comment section.
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