There was a picture that was everywhere late last year – it was about cutting unnecessary people off in the New Year. 98% of the females on my BBM used this picture as their display picture. If I remember correctly, it had to do with cutting off liars, haters, backstabbers, jealous friends e.t.c. At first, it was amusing but then later, I found it quite annoying. It seemed everybody was ready to point fingers at everyone but themselves.
Now it is almost the end of 2015, I have seen various tweets, Instagram posts, Display Picturess that are similar, and I’ve started wondering when we are ever going to stop blaming other people for the bad things in our life.
Believe me, I’m a Yoruba woman to the core so I believe that some things can be diabolical/extra-terrestrial. However, I would be stupid to say I didn’t pass a particular course because a friend was hating on me; knowing fully well that I didn’t prepare adequately.
I also believe that there are people whose spirits don’t work well with yours (even before reading Isio’s post, I’ve always been a staunch believer of that) but I try not to get to the point of looking at everybody but myself!
I knew of different people while I was in school, who changed group of friends every semester because they believed those friends were in a way responsible for their CGPA. Of course, bad companies corrupt good manners but Yorubas have a saying; won ko mi ni ika, mo gba. Mo ti ni sinu tele ni (they taught me wickedness and I accepted, I must have had it in me before).
I once overheard a mini argument between a husband & a wife who were once our neighbours. It started out as a joke; she was teasing him that he was yet to build a house after several years of working. He took it serious and claimed it was ogun idile baba (his father’s family evil people) that was behind the whole thing. At this point, the wife started pointing out all his siblings who are from the same father’s family who have built their own houses. She reminded him of the number of times she was even ready to help him with down payment for lands e.t.c. At this point, the man had to keep quiet.
I grew up seeing / hearing people blame father’s family, mother’s family, wife’s family, husband’s family, siblings etc for their misfortune. They forget that there is part they contributed themselves. Do not fold your hands, choose not to read for an exam / promotion exam and then blame your colleague / teacher / boss if you fail!
So before you cut off people this year, ask yourself these questions:
- “Have I really worked towards making my life better this year?”
- “Have I been a better friend?”
- “Am I guilty of what I want to cut them off for?”
- “Have I hated on anyone this year?”
- “Before I blame this person, am I sure the blame is not totally mine?”
I have learnt that it is very easy to shift the blame on every other person but us.
On a lighter note, we should not be like that proverbial person who went ahead to use palm oil as body cream despite knowing that his enemies had roasting plans for him.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Ocusfocus