The idea that if he does it once, he will do it again, is probably one of the more popular phrases when it comes to physical abuse. I guess, so far so good Chris Brown is proving this wrong. The subject of abuse in modern society – where even spanking children is a taboo, is of course a very sensitive issue. But like I always say, the problem with issues becoming sensitive is that it drives open and honest conversation underground. No one wants to be killed in the comment sections, or considered an enabler just by tabling view points that require examination.
With that being said, please, let it be clear that there is never justification for violence (unless maybe someone cheated in the relationship and gave you AIDS, ouch!)
Now, what I have done with the suggestion in brackets is to show that, while in an ideal setting, we all know violence against men or women to be terrible, situations aren’t always ideal – nor the humans involved. In the case mentioned above, we might still find violence reprehensible, but at the very least, the issue will be examined closer.
Far too little emphasis is placed on the notion of emotional and psychological abuse priming people that might not normally be abusive (this includes women too). When we hear about physical abuse, the first thing we do is completely dehumanise the abuser and cage the victim in a bubble of guilt.
Statements like ‘no matter what they did, you should never hit her/him’ is a common one in our society. This completely absolves the victim who might have been emotionally abusive and manipulative, sometimes even deliberately setting up the abuser.
Of course this isn’t to say that there aren’t outright psychos out there that will beat someone up for not pressing the toothpaste right; in fact they are the majority. However, in the interest of spotting emotional abuse and possible manipulation, it has become necessary to hear both sides of every story before dismissing one as invalid just because the result is something we consider to be an outrage.
Let us know that you think about physical abuse in the comment section, and please, always try to report cases even if it isn’t happening to you. Exposing abuse is always the first step in breaking the cycle.