Yetunde Olasiyan: Celebrating Valentine’s Day Alone

You are always sad whenever this day comes up every year. You look at the calendar with sighing. You mentally calculate the number of years you have spent alone(maybe 5,6,7,8 or more). You become almost frustrated at everything:life, love and God.

Yes, God must be partial to have left you booless or baeless. You wince when you see beautiful pictures of couples, love themed gift ideas, discussions on love etc. So, you shut yourself out of the Internet.

Especially when the internet screams love, val, boo, bae on every page you open. So, the internet isn’t a succour even though that’s where you get a dose of liveliness from your acute and aching loneliness.

What am I saying? You have never celebrated val with anyone ever since you became physically and mentally mature.

You are probably married and your spouse doesn’t fancy the whole thing called val. He/she is too traditional or just lackadaisical about special events. So, you have moped and whined all to get his/her attention, but it has never worked. So, you are bracing up for another cold day…alone. Without even a card or words of affirmation from your love.

No kidding, valentine’s day has permanently come to stay. It is celebrated all over the world. Apart from Christmas and New Year celebrations, Val’s day rank the 2nd highest day of celebration in human history. But what is it about this day that makes people go crazy with excitement?

You think your life and happiness is all about a red coloured day or a love themed day. You have watched in awe how guys took their ladies out and how girls came back with fresh bags of clothes and chocolates. You feel left out of the frenzy, the thrills and frills of the day.

I am not ruling out the importance of that day. I am not saying it is bad to celebrate love. But when was the last time you celebrated yourself?

When was the last time you looked deep into your soul and celebrated the woman/man you have become? When was the last time you celebrated the fears you have conquered? When was the last time you celebrated your victory from that childhood abuse, that shame, that embarrassment that threatened your self esteem?

When last did you celebrate your life, the one that God gifted you? What about the significant events in your life which you term ‘little’? You think it’s a normal thing to be alive, healthy, have a job( or have the prospect of getting one), be able to eat, have shelter? No. It’s a rare privilege which you should celebrate.

We all think our life here is forever, meanwhile it is very fleeting. So when will you begin to truly enjoy that fleeting time you have here before time passes? When will you own up to your weaknesses and strengths? When will you know your awesomeness without needing a boo or bae to affirm it?
Maybe you don’t need a special red day to feel happy. Maybe you should just begin by celebrating love, that of family, of peace of mind, of new beginnings. Maybe you should look beyond the red day. Maybe you should celebrate love, life and God every day of your fleeting existence.

Maybe truly then, you will find the love you have been desperately seeking. Maybe then you will understand how to be loved. Maybe you will get the answers you seek. Just maybe by then, your true love will find you.

If you are attached, in love and loved back, and you are probably looking forward to this day, you can’t sleep without imagining what the red coloured day would bring you. Maybe you will even get that proposal and diamond ring. Maybe you will visit destinations you have only imagined. Enjoy every moment of it.

Please be happy. Laugh, love and laugh again. Love is a good feeling; but don’t lose yourself under the illusion that your happiness is tied to that day.

Photo Credit: Atholpady | Dreamstime.com