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Mrs Kush’s Men Empowerment Series: How to make Egusi Soup with N500

Mrs Kush

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  • Do you suspect your wife/girlfriend of fraud? Do you think the EFCC should expand the whistle blowing policy to kitchen affairs?
  • Are you suspicious that her constant claim that “everything is expensive” in the market to be more fiction than fact?
  • Is your better half always rocking new clothes and you suspect the purchases are funded from your stomach infrastructure budget?

 

If you answered yes to any or all of the above then the men empowerment series is for you.
These step-by-step simple recipes will help you take back control of your stomach, and ultimately your life. This is the real definition of Pepper Dem Gang.

Let’s start with the basics.

  • To boil you need water
  • To fry you need oil
  • To have something to boil or fry you need money (In this case N500)

Today’s recipe is for Egusi Soup

Shopping List

  • One cup of blended Egusi —–N150
  • Cray Fish —–N50
  • Tiny Palm oil —–N100 (Beg the market women, they will sell it)
  • Pepper —–N50
  • 1 small piece of Dry fish —–N100
  • Iru/ogiri/dawadawa —–N50
  • Meat —– Hahahahaha You want to eat meat on a N500 budget. ROTFL!!!!!

Instructions
Heat your palm oil in a pot till it’s hot, then add your pepper, Egusi, blended crayfish, Iru and 1 cup of water. If you want the soup to last you can add 4 cups. Add some salt to taste.
Stir and cover. Allow it to cook for a few minutes. Once done, add your dried fish. Let is simmer for a further two minutes. Turn off the heat and you’re done!

Now watch your wife’s/girlfriends face drop when you present her with your N500 Egusi Soup evidence.
Technically the soup isn’t N500, because you used her gas/kerosene. Let’s not forget the matches. Plus, you’ll probably find some meat that she cooked earlier, in the freezer to add to your soup.

I’m also sure you didn’t beg any market woman to sell you N100 palm oil, you just used the one at home. Then, there is the small case of the depreciating value of the pot and cooker which will not last forever, and will have to be replaced at some point in the future. But nah! We will not bother with those frivolousness for now. The most important thing is that you have nailed her and you can finally start eating decent meals for N500.

However, that Egusi soup isn’t actually a complete meal, but I’m sure you can quickly make some Eba with the garri she bought earlier in the week; or you can boil some rice from the stash she keeps in the cupboard to go with it. Also, not really part of the N500 budget, but that evidence in not admissible in the court of you!

If you find yourself deep down longing for the rich Egusi soup that you are used to eating with the Ponmo, Goat Meat, Periwinkles, Panla Fish or Cow leg; plus, the heavenly Ugwu leaves that garnishes and complements this soup.

Stay strong don’t waiver you need to teach her a lesson. Eat your Egusi soup with pride; that’ll teach her to try to scam you in the future for quality meals…that you may or may not miss.

Let me know if you’ve ever made Egusi on a N500 budget. Also, if we upped the budget to N2000, what ingredients would you use to make an epic pot of soup?

Love,
Mrs Kush

Photo Credit: Lead Image – Nullplus | Dreamstime.com | Egusi image – author

I am a food expert and I say this with confidence because I have the waistline to prove it. For food porn check out lovemrskush. you're welcome.

18 Comments

  1. ceejay

    May 30, 2017 at 2:43 pm

    Ugu (pumpkin leave) nko? There is no egusi without it and okporoko.

    • funmilola

      May 30, 2017 at 4:15 pm

      Have you heard of egusi ijebu?

    • funmilola

      May 30, 2017 at 4:27 pm

      Hmmm, have you heard of egusi ijebu?

  2. mimi

    May 30, 2017 at 2:47 pm

    Lmao, the sarcasm thou!
    Just meat alone will eat up the 2k upping game.
    Forget it.

  3. okay

    May 30, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    lol….such an interesting read Mrs Kush

  4. Nuna

    May 30, 2017 at 3:15 pm

    Bwahahahaha. Just the other day the guys in my office were arguing about cooking okro soup with N200

  5. Mz A

    May 30, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    Your sense of humour is out of this world. I literally had tears in my eyes, you want meat on a 500naira budget ?
    Thanks for sharing this. Reminded me of remember things we cooked in school lol

  6. Olsan

    May 30, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    Lol…this is really hilarious. Nice one Mrs. Kush

  7. "Changing Moniker"

    May 30, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    hahahaha!!! Kisses Mrs. Kush

  8. June

    May 30, 2017 at 3:45 pm

    ???????! Goood one Mrs Kush!! The meat part had me rolling ?????! Pepper dem gang!

  9. funmilola

    May 30, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    ” If you want the soup to last you can add 4 cups”….lol. that one is not soup again na…it’s yellow water.

  10. nawa

    May 30, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    Ha, Mrs. Kush
    I for fear o
    Don’t spoil market for us o

  11. Ree

    May 30, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    hmmm nice one but theplate of soup doesn’t look like it was prepared with just 500h, with the many gallops inside, this is misleading,

  12. Isioma

    May 30, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    Nice one. I wish our brothers would actually read and learn. Cooking is a survival skill u know…

  13. Mr Toks

    May 30, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    Lmfao… this is more like woman empowerment series, cos my wife will now demand more cash for the egusi soup I always crave. Pls can Mr Kush come to our rescue with his own article lool

  14. Vee

    May 30, 2017 at 7:42 pm

    That ‘you want to eat meat on a N500 budget’ got me rolling. But this is a different method of preparation from what I’m used to

  15. Chioma

    May 30, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    Quite hilarious. Who would have thought of adding fuel and depreciating item values to the cost of cooking that Egusi soup. Lol

  16. Sunshine

    August 8, 2018 at 7:54 am

    They should read the handwriting on the wall, obviously u can’t cook egusi soup with #500 without having some ingredients at home ?

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