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7 Unnecessary Things Nigerian Men Like To Brag About

Nkem Ndem

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No matter how humble, quiet or chilled a Nigerian guy may seem, the calmness does not come to play when it concerns his ego. He is ready to disown his family, reject his one true bae and quit his job (even when it is his only source of income) to preserve and maintain his pride. His ego is his first and most essential asset, and as such, he never misses any opportunity to defend and boost it.

One of the ways they do this boost up is by bragging. Nigerian guys can brag for Africa. They want others to know how awesome or even infallible they are, so they seize every opportunity to share with those who are willing to listen the things they believe are their achievements or unique talents. Sometimes, they even exaggerate their situation or outrightly lying.

While some of these things they brag about are things actually worth bragging about, there are many that should not even be raised or talked about. Here are 7 unnecessary things Nigerian guys like to brag about

How Much Money They Have
You see them on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook sharing pictures of cash, usually dollars. Sometimes, the bundles are so numerous you wonder if the picture was photoshopped. They also post visuals of the designer items they own as well as the lavish lifestyle they are living. Some even go as far as writing songs about their riches: “30 billion for the account…” Sure it feels great to be rich and wealthy but is really necessary to let other people know how much money you have…that is if your claim is even true? Financial status is not really something to brag about because it should speak for itself and again, you don’t even want to give out more financial information than is necessary for this country because you don’t know who may hatch a rip-off scheme based on your proclamations.

How Much They Can Drink Or How High They Get
Alcohol tolerance or substance abuse (marijuana, cocaine, e.t.c) should not really be a topic for discussion let alone subject for bragging. It is highly doubtful that a man’s ability to hold his liquor or smoke the strongest weed would be criteria for any responsible and high paying job in Nigeria. There is also no way it endears him to the people with the right connect. However, for some reason, Nigerian guys love to brag about how much they can drink and how high the get when they smoke substances. They will drink themselves to stupor just so they can brag about it later and be a hero amongst their friends. So you are a seasoned drinker or heavy user. Why brag about the number of times you almost crashed your liver with such excitement?

Their Cassava Size And How Many Sexual Partners they’ve Had
Nigerian guys have no chill. Both those with large cassavas and those with small ones brag about their size. They even go as far as posting semi-nude pictures that show their dick print on social media. Even worse is the fact that they brag about the girls who have experienced the power of their D. They boast about the number of one-night stands they have had, or girls they had deceived and lure into bed – real or contrived. The idea is to look cool among their peers and appear more attractive to girls, who find such feats captivating.

How They Don’t Care What People Think Because They Can’t Be Bothered
A number of Nigerian guys strive to project themselves as confident and macho, and they do this is by making bold claims over how they are neither affected by people’s opinions and criticisms, nor need advice from peers. Unfortunately, by making all those boastful claims (considering all humans have emotions) they present themselves as weak and even irresponsible.

How Many Times They Have Been Approached By Gay Toasters
Believe it or not, Nigerian guys consider advances from gay guys flattering. Gone are the days where they express extreme homophobia. They brag about how many gay guys they have had to turn down, how many have slid into their DM or how they are being pestered continuously by guys who want love and sex from them. For some reason, they feel it means they are such hot cakes that even people of their own gender seek after them.

Their Low-Key Nature Or Ability Not To Brag
This really is the most absurd. Pseudo-humility. Nigerian guys like to brag about not bragging. Some people have dubbed this weird kind of bragging the “humblebrag”. They brag about how low-key they are, despite all they have achieved. They claim that they do not see any point in “louding” their possessions and wealth, when in reality are bragging about it by saying they don’t brag about it.

The Success Of Their Sports Team
Nigerian guys know how to take their support for their favorite sports team to the highest level. They are always enthusiastic about identifying with their football or basketball team. They refer to the team as “we” rather than “they” and they are ready to lose an eye, defending the manager of the team or a player. When their team wins, or a player on their team achieves a major feat, they brag about it as though they were directly affected by the achievement.
They even name their children after the team of members of the team so that they can proudly explain and brag about the reason their child bears the name.
In the same vein, when their team loses, they get depressed for days, even calling in sick. While it okay to be super excited about sports, is it really necessary to brag about a team of people who probably have no clue that you exist?

Do you know any other unnecessary thing Nigerian guys like to brag about?

Photo Credit: Atholpady | Dreamstime.com

Nkem Ndem is a dynamic freelance writer and editor who can be reached for copywriting, editing and proofreading. She is also a content creator (web, T.V, radio) who has had stints with Jumia and SpiceTV Africa e.t.c. Now she works at Glam Africa as Online editor and BellaNaija as Features writer. E-mail: [email protected]; IG: @kem_dem; Twitter: @ndemv

35 Comments

  1. LemmeRant

    May 30, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    The only thing you wrote that is remotely correct is your last point – on the success of sport teams.

    Every other point you raised is rubbish… as usual.

    • AceOfSpade

      May 30, 2017 at 7:04 pm

      I tell you oo LemmeRant. Nigerian men like to brag about money and sex? Really? Is Linda Ikeji a man? How about Toke Makinwa who’s always talking making money from appearing at shows? Or what about Dabota? Wait Tiwa Savage doesn’t sing about her money and how good she is in bed? Sheyi Shey nko? All this Nollywood runs girls flaunting cars up and down IG, what are they doing? Motivating other runs girls?

  2. Darius

    May 30, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    Nkem, you should know better not to make sweeping generalizations about men. I’m a Nigerian man and I don’t do any of these things you mentioned. It’s crystal clear that you have something against Nigerian men. Can’t you write about something else? Write about:

    global warming
    The South China Sea
    The Isreali Palestinian Conflict
    The Political crisis in Brazil
    The sectarian crisis in Central African Republic
    Russia’s destabilizing influence in Eastern Europe
    Turkey’s Islamist government
    Sunni vs Shia conflict in the Middle East
    The land dispute between Armenia and Uzbekistan
    modern slavery in Mauritania, etc

    There are a million things you can write about, but you won’t. You have an unhealthy fixation on Nigerian men. I don’t blame you coz it’s articles about men that generate the most comments, which is quite unfortunate.It’s so sad that female commenters on BN don’t know anything apart from relationships, but pls, try to diversify.

    • Meestyk

      May 30, 2017 at 9:07 pm

      Lol @ DArius we you kip kwayet! You are a Nigerian man and you don’t do these….says who? Smh. If you want to read those topics you listed, go and pick up punch newspaper or better still, go to CNN.com. Don’t come and be forming local champion here. If you have done your research well, you would know that she writes on a variety of topics too.

    • Prince Charming

      May 30, 2017 at 10:12 pm

      @Meeystek, so whoever wants to read proper news should buy a newspaper or go to cnn.com? Then what kind of news are we suppose to read on Bellanaija? Useless things like this article that won’t add value to our lives? You must be very dumb! yeah, Nkem writes on different topics, but all her articles are centred around men. @Darius, is right for suggesting topics. Can’t she write an article without mentioning men?

    • No Headaches Please

      May 30, 2017 at 10:31 pm

      @Darius You want Nkem to post topics on ‘Sunni vs Shia conflict in the Middle East’, ‘Turkey’s Islamic government,’ ‘South China Sea’ blah blah on an ENTERTAINMENT AND LIFESTYLE BLOG???

      Seriously???

      “It’s so sad that female commenters on BN don’t know anything apart from relationships”

      LMAOOO ‘Unku’, do you hear yourself talk sometimes?
      You sound like a Loud, Hot, Aimless Fart.

      Funny though, I never see your comments on topics such as time management, effective business skills that BN has published over time.

      But then again of what use what that be to you, if it doesn’t present an ‘exciting’ opportunity to bash women?

      In the absence of cookies and candy, what can can you do? I understand.

      Well then, carry on then!

    • Darius

      May 31, 2017 at 12:47 am

      @No Headaches, you said Bellanaija is an ENTERTAINMENT AND LIFESTYLE BLOG? This is a blatant lie! Don’t they post news about Politics, business, sports and other countries? 2, 3 days ago, they posted a story about some Egyptian christians killed by Islamic militant. Is this an entertainment or a lifestyle news?

      You even admit that they post articles on business and management skills – are these also entertainment news? That you are contradicting youself is enough proof that you are a dummy.

  3. Ewa

    May 30, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    How old are you Nkem? Seems to me you have been meeting or interacting small boys. I only agree with your last point.

    • Ewa

      May 30, 2017 at 5:23 pm

      *interacting with

    • Nene

      May 30, 2017 at 7:41 pm

      Seconded

  4. bodunade

    May 30, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    Nkem is back lol lol.

    Your obsession with men is unrivalled.

    Who hurt you?

  5. bodunade

    May 30, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    Nonsense! Can this Auntie go any lower??

  6. Mbe

    May 30, 2017 at 6:34 pm

    Lou lou. Its our way of life.
    Get used to it.

  7. Eva Ob

    May 30, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    What is the relevance of this post biko?

  8. Bad gang

    May 30, 2017 at 7:02 pm

    Clearly you only get your points of view from teenage boys

  9. funmilola

    May 30, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    I don’t believe this article, you didn’t do your research well nkem…..

  10. Nene

    May 30, 2017 at 7:39 pm

    Never had this experience with my make friends or any Nigerian boyfriend

  11. Michy

    May 30, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    Nkem do you have to churn out articles twice or more weekly? Your articles were better when you wrote just once per month on BN. Just my opinion.

  12. Sherri

    May 30, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    Nkem,
    this is juvenile!
    stereotyping and sweeping generalization are characteristics of small minds
    please don’t sink to that level!

  13. Monica

    May 30, 2017 at 9:11 pm

    I dunno why, but I feel like this Nkem likes being dragged on the comment section. It is a kind of high for her. Just when she feels people are no longer attacking her, she pulls a stunt and gets them chanting her name. Lol. Weh done ma. You are too good.

  14. SeizeHer

    May 30, 2017 at 9:15 pm

    This article has enlightened me.. I’ve been going about this being a Nigerian male thing wrong all these years. Kai!
    I can’t even say I’ve been doing the last one. United fans haven’t had much to brag about for awhile. Things are turning around sha.

    This article is rubbish o. Please do better.

  15. Baymax

    May 30, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    Abeg, you all should just pretending o jare!!! Guys brag about most if not all of these things all the time!!! The guys that are commenting, can you all sincerely say you have never bragged about these things

    You’re all just miffed because it was posted by Nkem Ndem. If it was someone else, you’ll probably be laughing

    • Enn

      May 30, 2017 at 9:38 pm

      my sentiments exactly, dunno why they are all forming righteous indignation…shior!

    • Cocolette

      May 30, 2017 at 9:45 pm

      As in! I’m just surprised that everyone is now pretending that men don’t talk these things, just because it’s Nkem that wrote the article. Only thing I will say is that the issue isn’t peculiar to Nigerian men, men everywhere brag about these things.

  16. Ochuko Tonukari

    May 30, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    I agree to a large extent with most of the points especially the one about “How Much Money They Have,” “How Much They Can Drink Or How High They Get”,
    “Their Cassava Size And How Many Sexual Partners they’ve Had”,”The Success Of Their Sports Team.” This article is not really about any one person. The fact that you are not doing a particular thing does not mean others are not doing it. Also, I feel no one should be telling us what to write about as we all have our different backgrounds and what gives us inspiration. It is not just enough to comment, but we should do so in a manner that will encourage people to work harder next time.

    .

  17. john

    May 30, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    @baymax..nonsense , maybe it is Nkem father and brother that brags about all those stuff..the only true thing in that stupid article as someone mentioned above is the sport brag… that is all..every other thing is rubbish and reeks of mysandry and man -hating…how would I even brag about gays crushing on me..wtf.. mostly it is women like linda ikeji, tonto , chika ike That I see bragging and deceiving themselves about those stuffs on instagram with hashtags like #strongwoman #being independent #child of favour , #slayqueen bla bla bla for their oloshos activities

  18. Lliki

    May 30, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    Juvenile article.
    Nkem, look for some other topics to write about and stop writing about men.
    Your obsession with Nigerian men will sink you.

  19. Nairaland fan

    May 30, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    Seems like Nkem has been taking lectures from tosin2much from Nairaland.

  20. Deleke

    May 30, 2017 at 11:04 pm

    Real Nigerian where at thou? Perfect opportunity to emasculate the Nigerian man

  21. Ochuko Tonukari

    May 30, 2017 at 11:31 pm

    My dear Nkem I really tried to relate with your write-up, and like you asked at the end of your article, here is my list of unnecessary things Nigerian guys like to brag about:

    Physical appearance
    personal style
    their package/swag
    clothes/dress sense
    intelligence
    wooing skills
    social status
    their bedroom skills
    their uniqueness
    educational background
    the kind of work they do
    how widely travelled they are
    they brag about girls dying for them
    sexual conquests
    they brag about lofty goals that they don’t have the skill, talent or education to attain
    some brag about how nice they are etc.

    Some guys pretend like they don’t brag, but the gospel truth is that even the blind bat can see that they are showing off. In my view, confident and successful guys don’t need to brag about themselves as their actions and the way they look say enough about them.

  22. Chi

    May 31, 2017 at 12:07 am

    Keep writing Nkem. You would go far.

  23. Idomagirl

    May 31, 2017 at 6:14 am

    A Nigerian man feel flattered when a gay man hits on them?
    Hell no!
    I don’t know a single naija guy flattered by that.

  24. No Headaches Please

    May 31, 2017 at 9:49 am

    Lmao @Darius ‘Dummy’? You must have really been hurt by my comment.

    Here, have some more candy.

    Can’t recall much of my teen years but for sure understand what you’re going through.

    *Anyone willing to educate that 15year old that time management and business management are essential in Entertainment? I’m busy.

    • No Headaches Please

      May 31, 2017 at 9:53 am

      *time management/business management skills

  25. obi

    June 1, 2017 at 2:33 am

    One day I would do an article on
    men’s addiction to sport’s cos stupid writers like this one are beginning to irritate me with their ignorance. If you don’t like sports it’s fine but don’t come and talk trash on something you know nothing about, makes you sound really stupid.

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