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HaroldWrites: Feminism, Homosexuality & Having a Strong Voice

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There is a saying that, just as our palmar flexion creases are different, so are we all different from each other. Different faces, backgrounds, experiences, mindsets, beliefs and voices. No two people are the same. Globalisation and civilisation has tried to bridge the gap between our differences. What used to be unique and special to an individual or a certain group of people, has now assumed a status of global awareness and in some instances, global acceptance. Foreign cultures, ideas and beliefs are now being shared across the world and some have slowly seeped into the consciousness of the locals. It is no longer an “Us vs. Them” situation.

The world is now a global village. We all now have common knowledge, understanding and acceptance about certain things. Concepts which were once foreign and strange, are no longer so. Concepts like democracy, artificial baby womb, climate change, surrogacy, feminism, LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender)…

The last two mentioned concepts – feminism and LGBT – are current topical issues, especially in Nigeria. We, as a people, have not completely accepted them as a way of life. I think they will continue to occupy the debates fora for a very long time.

And this is where your voice is important.

I have my opinion on each of the topics and I have written several articles on them, especially modern day feminism and homosexuality (I know LGBT is a larger “family”). As for feminism, I have nothing against equality between the sexes. I have constantly expressed my views on the original tenets of the concept and the modern day adaptation and actualisation of same. I have called for more robust movements like humanism and equalism etc. I do not attempt to recap all my thoughts on the topic here, but if I must highlight why concepts like humanism and equalism should be better considered and why modern day feminism is faulty, just take a look at modern trends in the human sexuality.

We no longer have just male and female genders anymore. We now have cisgenders, transgenders, neuter-genders, non-binary genders and other non-traditional genders in the world. If feminism is a concept that promotes equality amongst men and women, whither lays the fate of, and equality for the other genders? And by the way, what the (insert explicit word here) is a cisgender, neuter-gender and non-binary gender? At what point will modern day civilisation draw the line?

This is why your voice is important. Let the world know where you stand.

I know it is becoming increasingly difficult to pitch your tent with one camp when faced with strong topics like the foregoing. But you have to, for the sanity and advancement of humanity. We need these conversations. Once upon a time, colonialism was legitimate until people started speaking out. And it was abolished. In the same vein, once upon a time, people tried to sabotage and belittle the woman and her role in the society until feminism emerged and spoke. Today, feminism has attained global acceptance, liberated the society in general and the women folk in particular and has even fostered other discussions like humanism and equalism.

Talking about having a strong voice, I have never been a supporter of homosexuality – the aspect where two people of same gender make love and have sexual intercourse. But it seems everywhere I turn to, the world is trying to shove it down my throat to accept it as normal. Almost every movie or series on TV nowadays has a homosexual love story in it. Some go as far as broadcasting the make out session. Today, the angle of homosexuality which is been packaged and sold is “love conquers all”… “let people love who they want to love”.

The love angle.

You can hardly fault that. Love is actually a beautiful thing and you cannot blame anyone for falling in love. For even God Himself, so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son…

Fine. Let love be.

But no matter how beautiful the story of homosexuality is portrayed, I will never condone or accept as normal, the act of two same gender people having sex. But guess what again? The fact that, I do not condone the sexual act itself, does not translate to me wishing death, hurt or hate on a homosexual. No, no, no. Homosexuals are humans with flesh and blood like you and I. They were created by the same God that created you and I. If they choose to do what I consider as gross, that is my cup of tea, as much as it is theirs. It would not stop me from treating them any less of a human. What I do not condone is the attempt to make me accept the sexual act itself as normal. My life experiences and upbringing have wired me to believe the act is not normal. The only type of love-making I have been exposed to, is the one between a man and a woman. My voice is important too.

I can love, treat and relate with homosexuals as fellow humans without necessarily condoning or accepting their type of sexual activity. We should be able to condemn those who want to see homosexuals dead or hurt. Let them understand it is not their duty to take the life of another just because they disagree with their manner of love-making. We should also speak with homosexuals. Make them understand it is not okay for them to want to force their sexual preferences/choices on another.

This is the essence of conversations. There are several other topics engulfing the world right now. Topics like artificial baby wombs, capital punishment, right of self determination etc. Do not be silent. Participate in these conversations. Help shape the world. Be civil in your contribution. And most importantly, do not betray your voice in a world that is constantly trying to drown you. Be heard.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Alberto Jorrin Rodriguez

HaroldWrites is an extraterrestrial who uses words like floccinaucinihilipilificate and antidisestablishmentarianism to keep his readers under his spell, yearning for more. Visit his blog at http://www.haroldwrites.com and stalk him on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram @haroldwrites

25 Comments

  1. Ezinne

    July 14, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    I have homosexual friends, and thankfully they don’t rub their sexuality too much in my face. Before I see them as homosexual, I see the as human first. Just as their sexual orientations might irk people so does some of our habits and behaviors. Imagine if we killed everyone who thought differently from us- who’d be left? Like it or not, they’re human beings with the rights to their choices. A wise man once told me “Life is a journey, everyone is on THEIR OWN individual journeys” This has helped me to be more tolerant. I mind my business, I mind my journey, on the way, I interact with different people whose journeys are different from mine. I take what I want and off I go. TOLERANCE

    • Didi

      July 15, 2017 at 2:40 pm

      Homosexuality is categorically wrong; whether you like it or not. Being Homosexual should be your private cup of tea and not something to force on people in broad day light. I blame Barrack Obama; the No 1 stooge and vessel of destruction used by dark forces to bring this curse to the world, even when that certain memoir revealed he was once open to being gay before Michelle came along., it’s such a pity that this issue was given life and began to breathe by the first Black president, African Americans have been clamoring for decades. The one that pissed me off was when i heard him trying to force Buhari to implement same sex marriage. We live in a country where fanatic Muslim slaughter christian anyhow just for being Christians and then you now impose same sex marriage; wetin go come happen; them go bomb us, extinct us finish. Nonsense

  2. capt. Jack

    July 14, 2017 at 2:00 pm

    the problem with this article is hypocrisy; a flimsy attempt to promote homophobic attitudes in the guise of lending a voice nobody needs. oga pick a side and pitch your tent; don’t call people whose lives are hard enough already gross and pretend to be lending them help in one breath… Your article will spread more hate than love so stop writing

  3. Fabulous

    July 14, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    Thank you, Harold, for this. The one I don’t get is when LGBT tries to force their belief on the rest of the world. As for my opinion on LGBT, it is wrong, immoral and unnatural.

    • Bola

      July 14, 2017 at 2:36 pm

      Homosexuals don’t force their beliefs on others, they just want to express themselves. Homosexuality is right, moral and natural to some people. And to those of you who would come and say it’s not Nigerian to be gay. Big lie! Gay people are everywhere around you. They just in the closet and live in pure fear.

  4. Malik

    July 14, 2017 at 3:20 pm

    I think I need to say this, on behalf of those who would close this article mid-way, or spare the comments section their tirade of words expressing disgust at such narrow mindedness and Nigerianness poorly disguised in eloquence:

    If there’s any sect of people, in this part of the world forcing their beliefs on others it’s heterosexuals.

    We understand the need for procreation, but more important than this is the need to be accepted as human being, complete despite one’s rough edges. It’s to be comfortable in your skin.

    The world won’t fit into the same mould. You must give room for the different colours in which people come. What contemporary movies have done is to portray characters that are diverse in race, gender and sexuality because that’s the reality of how we come.

    And its important to tell all the stories.

    • Juwon

      July 14, 2017 at 3:39 pm

      Thank you so much for this. Gave up on the article when I saw the writer was trying to pass off bigotry as tolerance. At the end of the day, the LGBT community are only tolerable as long as they don’t go beyond his comfort level. In a world that already caters to heteros, a little bit of LGBT representation is ‘shoving it down our throats. Sorry Mr. Butthurt, please don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re some enlightened individual who is ally for the LGBT in this repressive corner that we ALL trying live our truth in. You are not.

  5. Nachi

    July 14, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    This has got to be the most sensible and balance article

  6. Engoz

    July 14, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Ideologies typically have fundamental flaws but the illustrations you used to identify these flaws are quite elementary. Feminism is the advocacy of women based on gender equality. If gender equality is the state in which access to rights or opportunities is unaffected by gender, then the argument for non-traditional genders being excluded is redundant. The civil rights movement used the equality strategy but it was/is primarily the advocacy of/for black Americans. Today, all races in America are protected by the laws enacted from this movement not only black people. Not only that, the LGBTQ has it’s own organization to represent the interests of people who identify with them and uses the equality strategy to address its interests.

    I find your call for ‘robust movements like humanism and equalism’ and then objections on homosexuality in contradiction. First, by what school of thought do you define ideologies like humanism? Because humanism itself has gone through various definitions over the centuries. Nevertheless, one thing consistent in humanism is that your conclusions about your views is based on empirical evidence, are not based on feelings, dogma, superstition, religious beliefs. You didn’t provide any empirical evidence or rationalism to your position on homosexuality but your feelings.

    It is OK not to adopt another grammatical jargon you don’t understand just because you have misgivings about a certain word that advocates for women on the premise of the equality strategy.

  7. Alex

    July 14, 2017 at 6:15 pm

    “I can love, treat and relate with homosexuals as fellow humans without necessarily condoning or accepting their type of sexual activity” Nailed it.

  8. Udegbunam Chukwudi

    July 14, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    My life experiences and upbringing have wired me to believe the act is not normal. The only type of love-making I have been exposed to, is the one between a man and a woman. My voice is important too.

    Abeg is it okay if this was said by a young white racist? You know he was raised to believe black people are scum and as such he should be allowed the freedom to stay believing in that and no one should come pushing that BLM crap in his face.

    Make them understand it is not okay for them to want to force their sexual preferences/choices on another.

    I guess it’s okay when it’s straight religious people shoving their straightness/morals/bibles/quorans down everyone’s throat at every opportunity. Gay folks aren’t complaining about the shitload of straight sex scenes on TV, so why the fuss? Because it makes you uncomfortable? Newsflash, there will always be something on TV to be uncomfortable about.

    • tunmi

      July 16, 2017 at 3:04 am

      Thank you!!!!!!

      Gay people aren’t complaining of seeing straight people make out or have sex every where whether it’s commercials or movies.

  9. Walter

    July 14, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    “We should also speak with homosexuals. Make them understand it is not okay for them to want to force their sexual preferences/choices on another.”

    Which homosexuals are doing this please? Which homosexuals are forcing their sexual preferences on you? This article is just a lot of hypocritical double talk. Accept homosexuals but not too much. Condemn those that wish them ill but don’t forget they are doing evil. Speak up for them but remember to speak against what they are doing.

    Please oga, the next time you want to lend your oh-so-magnanimous voice in support of a minority, learn that there cannot be half measures. Its half measures like the one you’re promoting here that gives homophobia the wiggle room to thrive.

    Your voice is frankly very disappointing, and something the LGBT community can do without.

    • M.N.

      July 14, 2017 at 10:57 pm

      This guy’s article should be on kd. His case would be well treated there.

  10. anyibaba

    July 14, 2017 at 8:06 pm

    I’m sorry but this article made no sense, it seemed like you were trying to find a balance but failing woefully. See eh, this love the sinner but hate the sin is homophobia disguised as love. It’s not helping anybody. The so called sin is not out in your face, you don’t see homosexuals having public orgies. If heterosexual sex can be shown on TV, why can’t homosexual sex? While you’re saying they shouldn’t shove it in your face, don’t you see you’re shoving yours in their faces? You grew up to know just heterosexual sex does not mean it’s the one right way.
    Yes brother, speak up but next time maybe you should speak wisely.

    • Chinwe

      July 15, 2017 at 6:53 am

      Nice reply

  11. Mohammad

    July 15, 2017 at 12:54 am

    What a woeful intellectually bankrupt article. Mr Writer, you’re cancelled! ?

  12. Iyaolode

    July 15, 2017 at 1:40 am

    Pseudo-intellectual….If this a lot with Nigerians.

  13. Author Unknown

    July 15, 2017 at 7:39 am

    Classic homophobe. Accept gay people…as long as they don’t bring your “nonsense” in my direction. I’m actually quite glad that many commenters caught that BS. You even dared to bring God’s love into this. Where in the bible did you read that God’s love was conditional?

  14. Bokun

    July 15, 2017 at 11:21 pm

    As far as I’m concerned there are only 2 genders the others are FAKE genders. I honestly feel homosexuality is a mental health illness linked to ones own deluded perception of body image / function just like body dysmorphia, anorexia. They just need help but unfortunately the world offers no help, instead it feeds the illness. I have friends who are homosexual, it’s obvious that they are not happy and it’s got noting to do with acceptance, it’s more shame than anything else. homo don’t need anyone judging them. They judge themselves. And yes I do have a phobia for mental illness, I want to see people well and happy not been lied to and encouraged to live deluded sad half lives,

    • Udegbunam Chukwudi

      July 16, 2017 at 7:04 am

      You do realize you’re one of the sources of that shame, right?

    • Bokun

      July 16, 2017 at 7:30 am

      @chukudi you only feel shame when you know that you are doing something wrong. The best judge is your conscience. Your conscience never decieves you. We all sin differently. Sin is a punishment in itself. Ecclesiasticus 14.2 blessed is he whose conscience hath not condemned him and who has not fallen from his hope in the Lord. who I’m I to judge I don’t need to. I would not bear false witness against God in order to “belong” to some hip new idea. Chukudi how would you feel if your daughter, sons, brother, sister mum or dad declared to the world that they are homosexual. Would you happily support them ?. The answer to the question is your true feelings on homosexuality. Remember that your word becomes your reality.

    • Udegbunam Chukwudi

      July 16, 2017 at 1:24 pm

      You’re offering conditional love and expecting them not to feel shitty about themselves. Being gay comes with a shitload of mental turmoil brought on by people like you (homophobia lite as some call it) and those that go out of their way to vilify and physically harm gay people.

      It takes a lot of support for a gay person to break through the emotional baggage and come to terms with his/her true self.

      I wouldn’t feel any different if any of my relations came out as gay. I’d only feel heartbreak for the shit they would have to deal with from homophobic world people

  15. obiageli

    July 16, 2017 at 12:03 pm

    As for me what i do not wish for myself or my family i can never support someone else to do. If you do not want your family member to be gay but support others to be gay then you are poison becos you can be homophobic for your loved ones but homo friendly to strangers. Love your neigbour as yourself do on to others as you want to be done by. Imagine advicing your loved one against homo but someone like yiurself will encourage them. Maybe even your loved one will see your comment here and be encouraged to be gay. People just need to rembember what goes around comes around.

  16. T

    July 17, 2017 at 7:43 pm

    You are homophobic and cancelled.

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