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This Insightful Twitter Thread by @Dandy_locks is a MUST READ for All



Ever noticed how when there’s a wedding, there’s usually a picture of the bride and a circle of friends, praying? There’s always something to indicate that a woman should go into a marriage – armed with prayer and warfare, fortified to do everything required to keep her home.

On the other hand, there’s also a chance that you’ll see a photo of the groom – surrounded by his men, either with bottles of alcohol, or cuban cigars (whatever is supposed to be the representative of a man balling into the next phase of his life).

The difference is staggering, and truly troubling. Two people, about to embark on a journey of their lives, but the burden is placed heavily on one person to keep that marriage intact.

Newly married Twitter user @dandy_locks shared his experience on Twitter, and he addressed the issue.

We’re very glad to share his tweets and we hope that our family and friends will put these things into consideration.
Let’s deconstruct what is presumed to be the norm, in a hope for building a better tomorrow.

Read the tweets below:












Other Twitter users weighed in on the conversation and provided further insight into the topic.

Watch a preview of their wedding party video here:

We wish the Achebes a happy married life and we thank Mr. Achebe for sharing his thoughts with the world.

Photo Credit: Rawpixelimages | Dreamstime


  1. Olivia

    September 5, 2017 at 3:29 am


    God bless you.

  2. Jane

    September 5, 2017 at 3:50 am

    Sir, I salute you for those mature words. This man so clearly outlisted the problem in marriage. Marriage is a union of two people who are determined to make things work. When it becomes one sided, then its bad. Having said that, I’ll have to say with clarity. Nigerian women/wives have suffered. The society encourages women to pray for their homes, husbands,children, his business, everything. And the man is encouraged to be a jerk and the bum. In a typical Nigerian family setting, the wives do everything, and if anything goes wrong, its their fault. No responsibility on the part of husbands.
    And you see overgrown children getting married because they have money and status and society encourages them in their childishness. That’s why you see a woman praying, and trying her best and her efforts constantly frustrated by her husband. That is the situation, especially in this country. Its so sad. We need more men like this man who will rise up and play their role in the family. Thank you sir.

  3. Diamond

    September 5, 2017 at 3:52 am

    Marriage is overrated here in Nigeria. Many just marry not because they are in love and want to spend the lives together, but to conform to society requirement, and have the Mrs title to their name. Sadly, I find myself in this position. I don’t love the man, and contemplating marriage with him because @ 30, my chances of finding love here in our part of the world is dwindling.

    • Diamond

      September 5, 2017 at 3:53 am

      Because even the men who you think are educated and enlightened call you old at 30.

    • Fabulous

      September 5, 2017 at 11:18 am

      Sweet heart please don’t get married because of societal pressure or because you’re getting old. Marriage is God ordained, to be used as an instrument to fulfill His purpose. Marrying for any other reason is just wrong.

  4. bodunade

    September 5, 2017 at 6:52 am

    @Diamond, No other way to put it.. A 30 year old is ‘seen’ as old.

    Marrying for love is so Disney.
    If he has ‘good’ values and you want to get married so bad, by all means.
    This Love Love mindset is already setting you up for resentment.

    Be practical, marry for money, marry to confirm to societal pressure, marry for values but never for love.

    • Tosin

      September 5, 2017 at 7:54 am

      what happened to us, my Love? kisskiss 😛

  5. Baby gurl

    September 5, 2017 at 7:44 am

    God send me a man as wise, thoughtful and kind. God bless you Sir for this. I just want to print this thing and place it on billboards all over the country. But no money for that. I will so pray for you before I go to bed tonight ehn. For God to keep you and your beautiful wife happy, healthy and content the rest of your lives. By the way, that wedding video is cray!!! You guys were on cloud 900 o. See madt grinding and rolling. Great fun that wedding must have been. God bless your home. HML.

  6. Nunulicious

    September 5, 2017 at 7:58 am

    BNers would love this one. Morning y’all

  7. kristin

    September 5, 2017 at 8:43 am

    You be man! God bless you and your wife and keep your home.

  8. I Just Waka Come

    September 5, 2017 at 11:34 am

    He’s not Nigerian.
    Forget the name.
    No Nigerian man can say this or even have half the brains to think to this or even one tenth of a brain to understand this.

    • crystaldrop

      September 5, 2017 at 3:31 pm

      Obviously, you fall under the one-tenth group if not less sef……….mscheewww!!!!!

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