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Why I threw away old photos of my Husband’s late wife – Reddit User



Twitter user (@ajlobster) shared this Reddit submission on her page and it is has now gone viral. The original post has however, since been removed from Reddit.

The Reddit User met a widower with a daughter and they fell in love and got married.

They lived happily ever after yeah? Not quite. She kept having feelings that the husband was not over his late wife and she managed to do away with any item in the house that had to with her (the late wife).

She did this without the permission of her husband and it was a while before he found out and was devastated.

Read the submission below and share your thoughts in the comment section

"I threw away old photos of my Husband's late wife" - Reddit User submits shocking revelation "I threw away old photos of my Husband's late wife" - Reddit User submits shocking revelation "I threw away old photos of my Husband's late wife" - Reddit User submits shocking revelation


  1. Amaka Anne

    October 28, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    I’d understand if she locked her stuff away in a closet somewhere. But to throw & give stuff away that wasn’t yours to throw or give away in the first place? Haba!!! What memories will her daughter have? What kind of bitter jealousy is that? Against a dead woman? Me sef I don’t know how to feel right now…she should just give the husband and stepdaughter space to deal with this because it’s not something one just ‘gets over’. Jealousy is bad, ha! ?

    • Fleur

      October 29, 2017 at 4:47 am

      Indeed. You should have locked her stuff away. She would always be the woman before you. Throwing her stuff away just made you the enemy of your hubby. he will not be happy. You cannot erase someone’s history. Just love yourself and figure out your worth. Appreciate what you bring to that table and just live. You are a very insecure person.

  2. Anonymous

    October 28, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    People need to do better in life. This is a testament to all that is wrong with society. Imagine being so jealous of a dead woman that you sought to obliterate her, forgetting that you are the one who is alive and being loved by the man. You are definitely the one in need of marriage counseling and not him. I mean these things were in a box, you could have left well enough alone

  3. momo

    October 28, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    i empathise with her as she is human and jealousy is a of natural feeling …i wish she had sought some kind of counselling before throwing these things away or gave it to a friend to keep in her own attic till further notice ..however the husband should forgive her if he loves her

    • Ann

      October 29, 2017 at 7:10 am

      How can you empathize with that?

    • the daughter comes first

      November 2, 2017 at 8:26 pm

      If he loves her forgive her? No. His daughter comes first. Their child together doesn’t mean she gets forgiven. They need a divorce, NOW. This woman is pure evil. I feel bad for her unborn baby and I hope dad gets full custody.

  4. Nahum

    October 28, 2017 at 7:24 pm

    How on earth can you be jealous of a dead woman that left behind a small child and a grieving husband? Seriously, what is with we women and always trying to eliminate traces of the former wife? He had a family before you came into the picture, respect that and adjust your expectations accordingly!! How dare she? If this man decides to divorce her, and the new wife eliminates any traces of her, how would she feel? Abeg we women really need to do better.

  5. Bloo

    October 28, 2017 at 7:30 pm

    “he is very angry at me and can barely look at me. I have asked him to go for marriage counseling but he refuses”…I don’t even get this. He should go for this ‘counseling’ with you abi kini???
    I’m actually angry at you right now too Mrs. I need some time and No, counseling isn’t it for me right now ?.

    • Fleur

      October 29, 2017 at 4:49 am

      He does not need counseling. He needs to leave you for a while to see if he can forgive you. What happened is that you are now like the fire that burnt down his house and destroyed what little memories he had left of his beloved late wife. Just pack y our stuff and return to ya mama house.

  6. igbegocho

    October 28, 2017 at 7:32 pm

    I don’t think this is the last time her jealousy will rare its ugly head. She is wicked and selfish. It was all about her and how she was feeling. After only 4 years she wanted to have the same place the wife had occupied longer. There is nothing that is unforgivable, however the kind of person she is can no longer be hidden and she may never experience the acceptance she craves.

  7. Frida

    October 28, 2017 at 8:35 pm

    I can understand how it sucks to feel like 2nd best in a relationship or marriage….but that doesn’t give her the right to be so mean. It’s normal to feel jealous (even of a dead person, esp when you feel the person holds your husband’s heart) but you don’t have to act on it. Count yourself lucky to be alive.

    This is enough to break the marriage and I won’t be surprised if this is the beginning of the end.

    She needs to beg her step daughter and husband for forgiveness…..and try to change and work on herself.

    Just all shades of wrong.

  8. mystery

    October 28, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    woman what is wrong with you.?????? a dead woman … they have alot of memories together and from your story ,shes seems like a very good woman. because even after her passing every one still had pleasant things to say about her.. but you naaah????? you need counselling .. not your husband, your heart is wicked ..god forbid if roles were swapped.i mean god forbid it happens to you would you want your memories erased by someone you barely know..see go and ask GOD for forgiveness ,ask him to give u a change of heart, then ask your husband to forgive you..he barely looks at you, you should be happy he hasn’t thrown you out.. they have been together for a long time gooosh..have a heart..if i were u ,id say nice things about her and gradually win my husbands heart,when you become a blessing to your husband ,and make him happy insted of this ugly reminder you are giving him..very soon he’d and warm up too you.

  9. o

    October 28, 2017 at 9:23 pm

    If I were the guy,I’ll leave her. Memories are all they have, how dare she throw them away and delete? Jealous of a dead woman then telling her husband to seek counselling? She’s the one that needs counselling

  10. the real ibinabo

    October 28, 2017 at 9:51 pm

    This story is making me really angry and I am not even remotely involved in it. If I were that girl, I would never forgive you. It is not enough that she lost her mum at a young age, now you have deleted all the memories she has of her. What a witch!!

    • californiabawlar

      October 29, 2017 at 2:34 am

      Yes!! And now she has put the poor man in a bind too! How do you continue to live with someone that has done something so horrendous to your daughter? She robbed the poor girl of her mum’s memories. If he chooses to stay with this woman, he might as well kiss his relationship with his daughter goodbye! Arrr this story is soo enraging… my blood is boiling just thinking about it. Maybe people that lost a parent at a young age would understand the source of my rage… I hold/keep any and every photo of my dad so dearly… even the ones where he’s smoking! p.s. And I HATE cigarettes. hehehe

  11. OJ

    October 28, 2017 at 11:21 pm

    “” however the husband should forgive her if he loves her”…so if the husband doesn’t forgive or he gets angry at her he doesn’t love her abi?

  12. Californiabawlar

    October 29, 2017 at 12:28 am

    Hian! That’s how my boss (late 50s) is now engaged to this chick at work (34) after his wife of almost 25 years just passed. Guess her first demand? Sell his house and buy a new one so he can rid of her memories ??
    I guess this is how they start! Insecurity is a terrible thing to deal with. Cos as we can read she was/is still bitter about people liking the dead woman even after she got rid of her physical memories.
    I’m too unforgiving for bs like this o! She’s even still writing from the same house. I’d be gone if someone pulled this crap with me?????? #pettybetty

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      October 29, 2017 at 8:23 pm

      But babe (re the new fiancé’s request about getting another place), it’s not an easy feeling for a woman to live in another’s woman’s space. I can understand why the new wife wants them to move: you’ll want to make new memories and not feel like the interloper in all the ones that have already been made in that house.

      One way to maybe go about it without him having to sell up, is to let the new wife redecorate once they agree on what to give away and what to keep.

      And re the Reddit post – a friend of mine married a widower and threw a lovely birthday party for him, with a collage of his life’s journey which (among others) included photos and happy memories of his first marriage. Now & reading this, I truly understand why her husband had tears in his eyes when he watched the video. Gracefulness is a beaufitful trait to see in action.

  13. BlueEyed

    October 29, 2017 at 3:44 am

    This is completely wicked of her, I understand trying to build your own marriage and memories but look at how she played herself, for two years nobody mentioned it or even noticed, that shows that they had already accepted that they should build memories with the new wife and try and move on and be happy, but then throwing away memoiries of the dead woman they both (father & daughter) loved longer than they knew her is just wickedness ! she should kiss goodbye to whatever relationship she thought she could’ve had with the daughter, the girl will never love or acknowledge her again.

  14. Chinny

    October 29, 2017 at 4:02 am

    Umu nwanyi and bad decisions. Well, one of the advantages of having a social media page aka online album. One of my very close friends who is late – I simply go to her facebook or IG page whenever I want to remember. There is something so comforting knowing no one can ever delete her page, and those images of her face and kind heart will forever float on the internet.

  15. Ann

    October 29, 2017 at 7:13 am

    I’m sorry but what a witch! How can you be jealous of a dead person!! A FREAKING DEAD PERSON!!? I be telling these men that second wives are always up to no good. I feel so bad for the poor girl that will never get to hug her mother’s shirt or go through photos of her and her mother again. Gosh!

  16. Agirlhasnoname!

    October 29, 2017 at 7:54 am

    I’m reading lots of comment condemning what the woman did, but if you haven’t been in a situation like that you wouldn’t understand! Yes it’s was wrong of her throwing away the pictures, putting them away is better or better still giving them to the step daughter to keep them. I’m currently married to my husband who lived with his gf for seven years before she passed. She passed living her three kids for him all boys! The kids are not for my Husband. So when I came into the picture, it wasn’t all rosy I felt they had too much memories together, I didn’t want to go to same restaurant he took her, pictures of her and the kids everywhere, didn’t feel like my home! Before we got married, told him we had to move… her clothes and other personal belongings, I still took out the ones I can use I still wear her wristwatch till date we gave them away, her pictures I gave to the children to keep. And I told them with all due respect, you can keep the pictures or live them hanging in your room, but not in my living room. I’m glad they understood and everyone is living just fine. And the man has a vital role to play too. Has he found closure??? He should find closure first if not it’s gonna be difficult!

    • Huh?

      October 31, 2017 at 1:49 am

      Wait, you’re wearing your husband’s dead girlfriend’s belongings???

    • candy K

      October 31, 2017 at 1:47 pm

      u cannot manage to hang her pics in your living room but you can manage to wear her wristwatches? Nawawooo

  17. john

    October 29, 2017 at 8:13 am

    Infact I am speechless..she even mentioned conseling..this is how women try to shift blame and not take responsibility for their actions..infact If I am this man ..I would use her for Ritual..simple and short…it not only about the man feelings ..What about the daughter’s feelings and you wonder why she is kind of cold towards you in the first place. People like this woman are a constant reminder that the heart of men is desperately wicked. That We should continue to watch and pray!

    • Ephi

      October 29, 2017 at 8:35 am

      But John, I thought white women were perfect in your books na.
      Ritual? odikwa serious!!

  18. Papermoon

    October 29, 2017 at 1:21 pm

    If my husband ones in a while talked about his dead wife or held some anniversaries yearly to remember her, I would not mind, but it if he called a flaming torch for her adult all times and most conversations had to be about her, yea, then I would Gerry tired sassy a point acne feel like a “care taker wife” (wife that you get cos you need help with the children). I can understand her pain but she dealt with it the wrong way. It’s hard being a SECOND BEST to a man that you think is your BEST. it’s also not fair for a man to marry a woman who will take care of you and your daughter while you retreat to some corner to invest your emotions in another person, whether dead or alive. From the way she speaks the man seems to be still grieving for his wife so had no business marrying her. That being said, she should have spoken to her husband about her feelings and let him determine how to deal with those items and his General emotions about his dead wife. She shouldn’t have touched her things.

  19. Thierry

    October 30, 2017 at 11:22 am

    She would be out the door quicker than lightning

  20. King Bae

    October 30, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    Jealousy is the ugliest trait, sigh!

  21. wifematerial

    October 31, 2017 at 3:02 am

    This is my story oooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! CHAI!. Lord is not easy but in my case I have the pictures packed in a box for her children to see when they are old enough………….am glad my husband loved the ex thou late……….reason being that he loved me so much too and he takes good care of the kids………..why would you threw her stuff away to the extent of dashing some that is pure evil…..she ain’t coming back. You deserve whatever the man is giving you………..if you are genuine and sincere there is no cause for alarm…… The aspect that I hate most is the family talikng about her in your presence and your husband refusal to act right…if he is so much in love why getting married again…………….beg you man anyways and if he forgives you good………… girl you gat a lot to do in this dead and living marriage you are in.

  22. Majelia

    January 15, 2018 at 3:58 pm

    Wow!! I was reading all the comments, and these people are so quick to judge. If you are in the same situation you should probably feel the same way too. I know it was wrong to throw away those pictures and other things that the late wife owned,but she admitted that what she did was ugly wrong and realized it. YOU guys dont know how it feel to be inlove with a widower, you do not have any idea how it really felt to be the.second best specially if the widower still living on his past.

  23. Marcella

    February 27, 2018 at 5:45 pm

    Nasty and disrespectful comments –
    ! What’s done is done -Nobody in this panel is a God and have no right to Judge – my heart goes out to you and the anguish you feel – memories supposed to remain in our hearts to remember – I’m in the same shoes but no children – pictures have no purpose in life – I’m giving him time to figure out what he wishes to do with the pictures – if he wants to lock away and out if my sight that’s fine if not I will discard of them same way I did with my old photos of my previous marriage – it’s a past life that nobody can ever take away regardless you have pictures or not – Live for today and love the person you’re with –
    Let there be more love and forgiveness in this world –
    Love to all

  24. Anonymous

    April 18, 2018 at 2:31 am

    Horrible, judgmental comments. This woman is human and made a very human mistake. It is natural to feel jealousy, especially when you feel second best in the eyes of the man you love. I hope he forgave you, maybe opened his eyes wider to the way he was making you feel and tried to make you feel more important.

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