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The Struggles of a “Professional Bridesmaid”

BellaNaija.com

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To be honest, at this point, virtually no one is happy when they’re asked by a bride to be on the bridal train.

First there’s all the issues with responsibilities (who likes those?).

Then, of course, there’s the money. (There’s always the money.)

A Twitter user @eketiette shared a lengthy thread on why she’s never going to be a bridesmaid again.

From slaps on the dancefloor to more slaps on the dancefloor to ex boyfriends and pregnant brides, read the thread below:

44 Comments

  1. Dlp

    November 13, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    This has to be fiction, it is dam too funny

    • Patty boo

      November 13, 2017 at 5:44 pm

      You wilk be shockd to know that it isnt. My friend was having her wedding in ph and sent me to lag to get
      aso ebi materials.
      I put my business on hold in ph and went to lagos, na that day i enter everywhere for Balogun, we kept communication through out the process,it was even raining , she will tell me errm the price isnt good pls check another place, me that is zombie how I for do?
      after everything cash wasnt enough, so she said she will transfer , i collected the woman’s number and assured her i will come the next day.
      Oya na my suppose friend how far ? She was just saying nonsense chai!! I was boiling
      i didnt go for the wedding sef, we still talk but I know i wouldnt do anything above the usual for her again.

  2. Pink

    November 13, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    Hilarious!!!!!!! I am crying and laughing at the same time.

  3. reulim

    November 13, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    Sis u try o!i did it Just once for a close friend whose mother shouted @ me for Carrying her cooler of food to serve her [email protected]’s(the bride) guests.i decided there n then to Never be a [email protected]

  4. Dr.N

    November 13, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    Eketi is hilarious!!!

  5. Asake

    November 13, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    Done bride’s maid or Asoebi girl more than 5 times and I didn’t have any bad experience.
    I do have a bad behaviour though- If you don’t want to give me food, dont insult me.. Just ignore me because as a bride’s maid if you do that to me, the bride or groom cannot send me to get food and I will not go.

  6. Mawi

    November 13, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    Been a bridesmaid twice but never again! I have kukuma announced it already to all my unwed friends so they know not to bother asking me. Too much stress, drama and the worst, INGRATITUDE.

    • Asake

      November 13, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      I have never regretted being a bride maid. I actually enjoy the running around for that 1 day I give my all to my friends and they know that.

  7. Moniker

    November 13, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    This is my thread of the year abeg. See me laughing and rolling on my seat. Very very funny things women do for wedding

  8. Cozygal

    November 13, 2017 at 7:16 pm

    I don’t know why people think the ‘slap’ gist is a joke. Take it from someone who has been slapped, it happens. So, I was a young bridesmaid at my uncle’s wedding. My parents were the hosts (he’s my mom’s first cousin). On the engagement day, while the couple were being sprayed, bride had asked me and another cousin to pick the money. We were picking when I got a slap on my head from the back. The groom’s step sister (my mom’s cousin too), Had dealt me a slap that left me crying. I didn’t even argue when she asked me to hand over the bag and immediately my other cousin saw it, she quickly handed has too. The lady in question didn’t know who I was (not an excuse for her behaviour). I know my mom went ballistics on her later on, but it left it’s mark, I dont particularly get what she did that for.
    Then I was bridesmaid for a friend who pleaded with me a day to her wedding to wear size 38 shoe (she knew I was 39/40) after she collected money for matching shoes and didn’t get me the right size. I didn’t complain because I discovered she got everyone else a size smaller. Plus I could calculate what she spent and it definitely wasn’t more than half of what she had billed us. With this, no provision was made for us at the reception. Thanks to a ‘gangsta’ bridesmaid that ensured we got seats and were well served (I remember her saying there was no way she paid that amount without getting fed).
    Then there was another friend’s wedding where we paid a pretty good sum. The reception hall was full before we arrived. The seats she had allocated to us had been given out before we danced in. I went home immediately after the dance in.
    In my opinion, based on a good number of weddings I’ve attended (besides being in the train), A lot of brides don’t make good provision for their bridal train, when they do, they don’t put their foot down or assign anyone to make sure their orders are followed. I think that if anyone is agreeing to be on my train, they are doing me a favour and not the other way round, therefore I should treat them as well as I’ve treated the other ‘special’ guests.

  9. Adejoke

    November 13, 2017 at 7:20 pm

    I keep asking what is the essence of having bridesmaids at your wedding. I honestly don’t get it. People just do these things for the sake of having bridesmaids. When I’m getting married, there ain’t gonna be bridesmaids at my wedding.

    • Hope

      November 14, 2017 at 12:15 pm

      I didn’t even have any asoebi or bridesmaid at my own wedding. Like I don’t get the fuss. We only had maid of honour and bestman. This took me putting my foot down (meaning fighting my family) just to have this done. I look at my wedding pictures and I don’t regret it one bit. I wished I put my foot down on more things even, but alas standing up to ones parents can be draining and you just want to get over the event and go home so, you give in to some and hold on to others.

    • Funmi Ade

      November 14, 2017 at 9:11 pm

      I cannot agree with you less. That is my resolve as well. Just me, my chief bridesmaid abd my little bride.

  10. Black Enterprise

    November 13, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    Nollywood script writers, producers/director pls contact this girl, this would be a big hit than weeding party…

    • N.M

      November 15, 2017 at 11:33 am

      I agree…shes just too good.

  11. Officialranter1

    November 13, 2017 at 7:47 pm

    I can smell the BS!

  12. northern lights

    November 13, 2017 at 8:26 pm

    *wedding

    • black enterprise

      November 13, 2017 at 8:33 pm

      thanks @northern lights, no be only weeding both igboing….

  13. Tutu

    November 13, 2017 at 8:40 pm

    I laughed out loud and kept taking a break to laugh some more. This girl is good!

  14. Lailatu

    November 13, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    Eketi does have a great sense of humor. I have learnt that not everybody is worth stressing for, no need to go over and beyond for some “friends”.

  15. Ako Martha

    November 13, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    ? ? ? ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? …. See the way I’m laughing and crying at the same time….chai…

  16. californiabawlar

    November 13, 2017 at 9:45 pm

    LLmaoo! Eketi is a hoot!
    I only attend weddings of close family members and maybe a few friends… so being a professional bridesmaid was never a thing for me. Long post o… read at your own peril ????.

    The ONE time I didn’t have much of a choice cos I visiting my brother, and he literally dragged me to attend a wedding he was doing the bible reading at – comman see drama!
    We drove with a group of friends across state lines for this wedding. It seemed like they were running behind schedule which was very strange cos na oyinbo church. But we shrugged it off and hung out outside the church in one corner.
    45 mins into the wait, we see the bride strutting by casually – not dressed or nothing. It looked like she had been crying. We were all like: ha! What’s going on here?! She just walked by without even noticing us.
    Five mins later, my brother’s phone starts blowing up. Whatapin? He informs us he’d be right back… Then he returns after like 30 mins to say that the ceremony should begin soon. At this point, my brother’s friends start snickering and making faces. I was just there clueless.

    All in all… the ceremony finally started 2 hours later than scheduled. The bride was sobbing during the church ceremony (hopefully some people thought it was tears of joy). Forward to the reception, there was another long delay…when she finally steps out, she just pack face like sht! and then walked away after only five mins. After she left, her new husband felt awkward na, so he left too. My people! Imagine an entire reception without the couple… e come be like those weddings wey dem dey marry pictures for Naija.

    We sha ate and headed back home. It was during our drive back I realized what had just played out. My brother’s friends started roasting the heck out of him! So apparently, the girl had an epiphany that she was in love with my brother a few months to the wedding but couldn’t break off the engagement cos it was too late (word is she tried)… and well, my brother only liked her as a friend. She ended up convincing him to do the Bible reading as a symbol of their “friendship.” Can you imagine the fckry?! The groom had no clue that the “cause” of his problem was even a part of their ceremony! The whole saga before the service was because she had developed a fresh bout of cold feet that even her groom couldn’t help her shake this time, so they had to call my brother (the apparent love of her life) to talk her off the ledge. I was like dayumm! ? Our verdict was that my brother shouldn’t have even gone to the wedding AT ALL. He also agreed in hindsight.
    Anyways the entire drama was so awkward for even the guests; I can’t begin to imagine what the bridesmaids had to endure!

    • B

      November 13, 2017 at 11:05 pm

      Lmaooo @ marry pictures! My gosh! The tweet lady is funny as heck and then yours!!!!! Can’t deal ???

    • Cocolette

      November 14, 2017 at 12:25 am

      Waaaat!!! Such fckery from the bride

    • aj

      November 14, 2017 at 3:21 am

      lmaooooo the bride is very funny. Your brother must be hot stuff.

  17. Welding not wedding

    November 13, 2017 at 10:58 pm

    Can we pls make a movie about these drama ?

  18. Oma

    November 13, 2017 at 11:19 pm

    Lolsss…Eketti is my Facebook friends and she’s quite hilarious. I like how she tells her stories laced with humour. Quite funny as always

  19. Jemimah

    November 14, 2017 at 12:51 am

    This girl is notorious for concocting fiction and presenting as truth. Funny still but definitely fiction. You get an A for Effort.

    • Officialranter1

      November 14, 2017 at 9:33 am

      lol! you know

    • Eketi

      November 14, 2017 at 11:39 am

      I am notorious for passing off fiction as truth? Pray tell, can you enumerate these instances of notoriety?

    • Chu

      November 14, 2017 at 2:09 pm

      Haters everywhere, what proof do you have that its fiction? Be humble and learn from talent.

    • comman beat me

      November 14, 2017 at 4:34 pm

      Some people say the most stupid things. Dear Jerry, you and the people that liked your statement are not okay

    • Defender of the Last Afang Bender

      November 17, 2017 at 4:18 am

      The ‘h’ in your name probably stands for hater.
      You typed “notorious for concocting fiction and presenting as truth…definitely fiction.”, like you can prove it.
      Smh! World people.
      Just because you have an uninteresting life does not mean others are, too.
      If talent was a race track, you could be one of the stadium seats, so when you see TALENT, respect it.

  20. Anie

    November 14, 2017 at 6:42 am

    The most stupid are those brides that form new life after making people spend at your wedding?

  21. Miracle

    November 14, 2017 at 8:56 am

    excellent

  22. Ilesanmi

    November 14, 2017 at 10:05 am

    Never really been a bride maid before because i am never that committed to anyone and I always see it as a lot of trouble even from afar.

    When I was getting married I remember it was my father who asked his friends’ 3 daughters to be my maids at the last minute and he paid for their cloths. one of the girls even after a decade still holds it against me because she felt used and dumped especially because I am now not close to any of the girls but to their brother. Everytime we bump into each other she always has some silly remarks to make and I always wonder how to appease her.

    But if there is so much trouble in this thing can we have some professional bride maid companies render this services, I for one do not even understand why anyone will pay so much for someone else’s wedding especially these days that these marriages end just as soon as they start

  23. fash

    November 14, 2017 at 12:11 pm

    @Mawi, you are right, INGRATITUDE is the word. That was how i did bridemaid for a colleague in the office.

    When she was getting dressed, she noticed her perfume was missing. I slept in her room with her friends but somehow in her action she trusted those friends more than me, just that she couldn’t use them as her bridesmaid becos of their sizes. Then she started cursing whoever took her perfume oo and you will know in her action she is indirectly talking to me, i kept quiet and suddenly her brother just came from no where and brought the perume out that he kept it for her. I heaved a sigh of relief as at last they will know I wasnt the one that stole her perfume.

    So at the reception oo, she didnt even care we ate, that’s not even a problem. But what baffles me when i told her I was going home after the event was the way she answered me as if I hadn’t done anything for her.

    Long story short, I got home expecting her call to thank me, nothing. I got to work and heard she had resumed hoping that she will come and see me in the office to thank me, nothing. Until i saw her in the lift and she was like ‘oh sorry, i misplaced my phone, sorry you hear’, with her body language. I felt USED. The most funny of all is that she doesnt interact with me like she does before the wedding and am like, what went wrong!

    Later, she knew what she had done and when i got married she begged me and bought a gift. So in my mind, she knew she hadn’t been good all this while.

    Treat people nicely, whether you will get something from them or not! And anybody who agrees to be on your wedding train whether you gave them the dress for free or they paid for it, is doing you a FAVOUR and not the other way round.

    • ilesanmi

      November 14, 2017 at 4:01 pm

      You get patience o. I for don leave immediately the brother brought the perfume and I will tell anyone who cares to listen that I was too embarrassed when she was cursing and I could not bear that happening again so I left before someone else steals something and I become the suspect. Or were you the one forcing yourself on her?

      Although I suspect it turned out well for you but be careful she is obviously a selfish user who cannot be bothered about her prey.

      Hope she is not trying to befriend you now that you are married thinking you have now made it and you will be good for her image. these sort of people i cant stick.

      One in my office used me to get govt official but because he need recognition within the group began politicking with the document and would not even stop after I registered my displeasure.
      I kuku nor vex again but the next time he came to my office for help I just told him I will not work with him very calmly, he dragged his feet out of my office and i was really pleased.

  24. Benita

    November 14, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    Being a bridesmaids twice, the first one the lady didn’t even make provision for seat from us self. The second was awesome it was for my bestie. In all I believe ladies should treat der bridesmaid well because I believe dey r doing u a favor

  25. Aderonke

    November 15, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    hahahahaah @Eketi’s stories…. Gurl thank you. You made my day! still laughing hard hahhahahhahahhahahhahahahhahahhahhahhahah

  26. mz-titilitious

    November 15, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    lmao! so hilarious….

  27. olajumoke

    November 15, 2017 at 4:47 pm

    I am still at work and trying to hold this laughter so they wont think i am unserious…. So funny!!!

  28. amaria

    November 16, 2017 at 6:42 pm

    Eketi this is hilarious! As funny as it sounds these things happen. I’ve not been much of a bridesmaid as I’m not really the prototype bridesmaid size. However the two times I’ve had the opportunity I’ve been the chief and boy were they full of drama?

    First was for my elder sis and we rushed to church only to realise I had forgotten her bouquet.

    Number two was what made me swear off bridal train for life. Wasn’t so chummy with the bride but she was desperate so I agreed under conditions that I wasn’t gonna pay for jack. Night before wedding babe brings a hair dresser and when my hair is all made she walks away and says I should settle them without asking if I had any cash on me. So many things happened to me at that wedding. From staying in one room with bride and all her sisters to being dropped on the highway to find my way to reception because the groom didn’t want to spend he first hours of his marriage with a third party. The groom was so cranky he kept sending me to warn either the m.c or d.j to stop one thing or the other at one point I was just done and walked away and took a taxi home. Of course they never called to know how I was . Many brides forget that no matter how much you think you have spent on them; bridesmaids are doing you a favour and deserve your gratitude

  29. Canadian Goose

    November 24, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    This just made my morning! Absolutely jokes! ? Both the tweet and comments.

    I totally understand all sides… I have been a BM to many times abeg to the point I am eating into my savings. I’m currently in a wedding and I have spent almost $2,000 already and I haven’t paid for makeup for the trad and white… Plus I can see more expenses down the line… I’ll most likely be out by $3,000 at the end of the wedding. That would’ve been a nice trip 4-5 day trip touring Europe or Asia but nah it’s just for a wedding.

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