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Lofe Mide: For Kikiara… Held by the Everlasting Arms

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They say pregnancy is the only time you fall in love with someone you have not met. Perhaps they are right. Or maybe not. I feel like I met you way before the scrub clad nurse brought you to me, announcing in her happiness laced high pitched voice- madam see your baby.

Yes, it was the first time I would see your pretty face with its little features, the first time I would hear your squeal, but we both know we have known each other long before that moment. From the very first day a tiny piece of paper announced your presence in my tummy, I knew I would not hesitate to give everything to see you be. And it almost took everything.

In the months that followed, there were many days when the tiny flutter of your movement was the only reason I survived. The story of your gestation and birth is so long and juicy, I cannot now and here tell it. Just remember that while I travailed to give you life, you gave me life in more ways than one. You are God’s gift to me, an unmissable proof of His faithfulness to me, evidence that His word is true, an assurance that He is interested in my life. You are my miracle, my sign and wonder and I can’t recover from my amazement that you are here and you are mine.

That is why I cannot take chances where you are concerned. Whatever it takes, I must see to it that you turn out right. So, on a daily basis I beg God to help me be the mother you deserve. One that is not afraid to let you fly yet keeps you close where it counts. One you can count on to tell you the truth yet feel close enough to talk to about anything. I want to smother you with love without denying you your right to be disciplined. I want your body to be accustomed to my hugs, your ears to my whispers and your butt to my rod of correction. I hope you grow to see home as a place where you always have a place, a place where you are priority; I also hope that the discipline you learn at home will guard your decisions. I want to discover the many flavours of you, the little peculiarities that make you unique, I want to fan the flames of your passion, give wings to your dreams and platform to your talent yet I want to show you the way to walk in.

I want your confidence to be sky high and your humility to be sea deep. I want you to know the value of people but also the beauty of leading an independent life. I want to shield you from harm, yet I want you to know the wisdom that comes from rising after a fall. I want to buy you the best of everything there is, but I also want you to understand that things are just things and your self-worth is not dependent on the label on your shirt. I want you to grow up without bounds, free to display your intelligence and draw from your bright mind yet I want you to understand boundaries and the wisdom of obedience. I am certain you will thrive at formal education, standing out like the proverbial gold fish, but I also hope you are not defined merely by the degrees under your belt. I hope you discover other abilities, question norms, set new trail without neglecting the ancient land-marks. I hope you do not skip over your childhood, I hope you enjoy every phase there is to growth but I also want your hands to touch your dreams in good time, I want to kick away everything called delay on your path.

Your smile, still toothless, warms my heart, it is so effective it can make the worst day great, the grimmest place heaven. I hope to continually see your smile, be the reason behind the smile but I also know I will sometimes make you cry, disciplining you to ensure you someday shine.

We will learn together, grow together and by God we will triumph. You will exceed my expectations, surpass my dreams. You will take the wisdom we offer and blend it with your essence to produce a flavour too divine for us to imagine. Just know on those days when my voice is stern and face is set that there is nothing you can do that can deplete my love store for you. Your sheer existence is enough to make my day, anyday and I can never run out of love for you.

It’s been seven months since you arrived and our journey is only starting. I look forward to the journey ahead. A life where I am your mother.

For Kikiara, held by the everlasting arms.

P.S It’s been about a year since I last published anything on this platform so I doubt anyone would remember me. However in case you do, please accept my apologies for my hiatus. Motherhood is easy for most women, but it almost took my life. Maybe I will share the story here someday. Right now though, I just want to thank you for wondering what happened to me and assure you that I am back. Let’s start this relationship over again, shall we?

Photo Credit: © Bryan Creely | Dreamstime

Lofemide is a deep-thinker, detail-finder and word-smith‎. She is particular about details, hence her writings are mostly musings and conversations. Especially conversations with herself and her God who she loves to no end. Read more of her musings at bunmilofe.blogspot.com or tweet at her @lofemide.

21 Comments

  1. Regina Daniels

    December 13, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    wow!!! ,i feel inspired

  2. MIA

    December 13, 2017 at 3:17 pm

    Welcome back!! Just as I was contemplating if I want to be a mum, I see this. Now I cant wait to be a mum. This is so lovely!! Remain blessed.

    • LofeMide

      December 13, 2017 at 3:54 pm

      Thanks Mia,I bet you will enjoy being a mum.

  3. Chu

    December 13, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    This is a beautiful piece.

    • LofeMide

      December 13, 2017 at 3:55 pm

      Thanks Chu, really kind words.

  4. MO

    December 13, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    lovely,lovely piece &welcome back!!!

    • LofeMide

      December 13, 2017 at 3:56 pm

      Thanks Mo, I’m so glad to be back.

  5. Mitch

    December 13, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    And she’s back. Beautiful piece as always. Looking forward to your write ups. Welcome back.

    • LofeMide

      December 14, 2017 at 4:58 pm

      Thanks Mitch, I’m looking forward to writing too.

  6. Eka Emem

    December 13, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    This right here!!! Echoes the very thoughts in my heart. Thanks so much ma’am for putting to words what is in the heart of every mother. May we be engraced to fully raise them without guilt nor guile; proud members of society contributing their own to make the world a better place.
    Thanks again!!! 🙂

    • LofeMide

      December 14, 2017 at 4:59 pm

      Amen @Eke Emem. You are welcome. Thank you.

  7. Jummy

    December 13, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    Congratulations on your bundle of joy! We also THANK God for seeing you through your pregnancy. May his name soon be praised.

    I’m at a far cry from having kids but I do know I want to someday. I hope I can pen my thoughts as effortlessly as you did here.

    Congratulations again and welcome back.

    • LofeMide

      December 14, 2017 at 5:01 pm

      Thank you Jummy, I’m sure you will love it when motherhood comes knocking.

  8. Authentic Sunshine

    December 13, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    This is so deep and yet so warm. Should apply to all mothers. Mine is 6. They say he is on the spectrum but I believe he is a miracle in progress. Your piece here describes our relationship in detail. Thanks.

    • LofeMide

      December 14, 2017 at 5:02 pm

      6! you are a senior mummy already. I believe with you, yours will be a perfect Miracle, by His grace.

  9. Aibee

    December 13, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    Welcome back Lofe Mide. Thank God for your safe delivery. Enjoy these days of new motherhood. They are adults before you know it!

    You put the thoughts of so many mothers into words. My son will be 2 in a fortnight and I still have these same thoughts every day.

    God bless Kikiara. May she eternally experience God’s wonders. May she never doubt your love.

    • LofeMide

      December 14, 2017 at 5:03 pm

      They grow so fast yeah? I should probably film all of this baby stage. Thanks Aibee, kisses to your little one.

  10. John

    December 14, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    Now, that is a nice piece right here…nice comeback….lady, I do not know who you are but welcome back…this reminds me of someone very close to me

  11. Cynical

    December 15, 2017 at 11:40 am

    ??? this is a beautiful piece, it brought tears to my eyes.
    Enjoy motherhood, it truly is a beautiful journey.

  12. Lanre Adeboye

    January 24, 2018 at 1:49 pm

    Senior Bro DollyP sent me the link and I sat wondering long if and how I should respond to this . . . whether this is not best kept in the family annals. I leave you with the choice to post public or not.

    My baby has a baby! And it really feels a new kind of nice!
    I was privileged to share fathering you, thanks to your open hearted parents.
    Oh! The intrigues, the anxious moments, the points of exhilaration, the moments of near depression . . . name it, you gave me all. But like it’s your turn to discover, loving a child is not dependent on actions and events.
    You gave me “fantasies” as I watched you soar in intelligence.
    You gave me “black blushes” each time you showed I was important.
    You gave me “heart skips” at your moments of indecision.
    You gave me “love pangs” when I had to discipline.
    You gave me “pure fulfilment” when I discovered my gift in you.
    You gave me “the kind of pride that doesn’t send a man to hell”, when you waited till your wedding day!
    Now you add “on top” the joy of answered prayers, with this piece that showed you cherish being a girl, a woman, a wife, a mother!

    Kikiara will give you all! . . . and probably more! But you will love every minute of being called “Mom” by this bundle of joyful complexity presently perpetually locked around your arms.
    There will be plenty to muse and write about her, but I am convinced beyond all doubt that Kikiara will turn out right . . . like her “LofeMide”.

    Still yours,
    Daddy, Discipler & Friend

  13. lofemide

    February 9, 2018 at 4:48 pm

    Daddy! Thank you so much sir. Words to treasure forever. God bless you more.

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