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Oluwadunsin Deinde-Sanya: When You Find Them All

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This is 5:39a.m, and I am swimming in thoughts.

I have listened to Adekunle Gold‘s Ire over hundred times, but my earphone are plugged in again. I am nodding my head to the lyrics of the song, and practising a choreography in my head. I am shooting a video for the song in my mind. I am seeing a group of 6 people – 3 ladies and 3 men. They are dancing in Yoruba attires; swaying their hips and legs, with smiles on their faces. I am one of the dancers.

I am seeing so many things; the song seems to be opening the lids of my heart.

I am seeing the bigger picture.

I did not want to write this, but these emotions are too strong. Writing calls me; it keeps me awake when the sky is blackened, when my ancestors are sleeping peacefully in their graves. Writing whispers to me when the night owls have gone to rest their old limbs. Writing tells me this pen is a blessed curse, it is heavy and can only get light when the world hears my thoughts.

And so I am writing.

I am thinking of an average Nigerian youth; the struggles we go through while growing up. I am thinking of our journey in life. Some of us move like headless chickens, without a sense of direction. We hit all the walls and rocks. We are restless – wanting to do all things, just in case one of them will lead us to Canaan. 

I am thinking of the gala seller I saw last year August; he is a mechanic now. In January, he was selling soft drinks. He is uncertain of about life; laying his hands on so many things – just in case one hustle would blow.

Now I am screaming in my head: why can’t we know what we’ll be in the future? At least, we’ll be saved from beating about the bush. When we know, at least we’ll just take the straight route, move towards our future.. without hitting too many rocks, or moving in circles. At least if I knew I’d become a writer, I wouldn’t waste my time farming snails. If I knew I’d be an artist, I wouldn’t have studied engineering.

I have too many questions rumbling in my belly; they are gushing out my heart like loud farts.

Sshh, quiet.

This thought strolls in like a bringer of peace. It says to me “the day you know your future, is the day you become God.” And for the first time in many years, my restless thoughts bow; their thirst a little satiated.

Have you ever known what you wanted to be in future? Are you where you want to be? Have you figured it all out? For me, the answer is no.

I was that child who never knew what she wanted to be in future. From wanting to be a neurosurgeon to an astronomer, then an archaeologist, to many other things that I can’t remember. It’s so odd that writing stared at me right from when I was little; it sat patiently, waiting for the prodigal daughter to be back home – I am back, mother. But I am not fully back. Fear of the unknown and uncertainty still clouds my eyes and heart.

Ah, uncertainty. This is what buckles the knees of so many youths. We think and think of a particular idea, wanting to be totally sure, and then in the process of overthinking, fear comes and whispers “don’t, little one, don’t – you’re not ready yet.”

Baby, don’t listen to it, this voice would torment you and call you little one for the next ten years. You would not grow, because you are seeing yourself as too little – not in age, but in intelligence and ability.

This article is not for those who have figured it all out, or those who have always known what they wanted and gone for it, (before y’all come and start chanting ‘aspire to inspire to acquire’ or whatever.) This is for people like me, who are so seeking for this inner fulfilment and are trying to untangle and understand so many things in life. This is for those of us who have so many questions playing ten-ten in our little bellies.

So, maybe you are meant to be to be a sculptor and you think you are wasting your time doing all other things? Don’t feel bad. All these things are just preparing you for tomorrow. You need to clear the bushes if you want to pass a smooth road, free of snakes.

I am still figuring what this thing called life is. I am still wondering how my future will be; I know you are too. So, I shall tell you what my mind whispers to my soul. It says “you cannot know the future baby, the day you know it, is the day you become God.” So I am quiet.

But before the future comes, let me tell you this: the future cannot be placed in your hands when they are still feeble. You might tremble, let it fall and crumble. The reason why you lay your hands on so many things is so you’ll garner enough skills and experiences.

Life would teach you when you experience it, and the future would not come when you haven’t experienced life – when you are not ready, because you wouldn’t give eba to a new born baby. So, no matter what you do or what life throws at you, just keep moving forward – it doesn’t matter how little or big the steps you take are – learn, get stronger, get bolder.

Life has a wall clock, and life would always be punctual. Don’t be scared, the future will surely come – when the right time comes. You will make money, you will become great, you will find love. You will find them all – all what you crave.

I am still listening to Ire, and I am saying Adekunle Gold’s prayers: that I return home, that I shall not just be an escort to other people in this world, that I shall not become useless.

This is what the future says to you; come back home baby, come back. Home beckons; home is within you and within you lays the goodness and peace you so crave. You are the future; and the world awaits your entry.

P.S – When you find them all, please pull a brother up. The world only becomes better when we practice empathy and make others rise with us.

This is straight from the heart, from me to you. Love.

It is now 7:22. My ink dries up.

Photo Credit: © Mikedesign | Dreamstime.com

Oluwadunsin is a realistic fictional writer. She has stories and thoughts within her that threaten to choke her if she doesn't write about them. She loves to be secretive, but her pen is a gossip. She loves God, love, books and blues. She writes from her soul.She is the founder of The Pen Blog @ www.thepenblog.com.ng where she pens down her thoughts.Want to get in contact with her? Easy!! Send a mail to [email protected] can follow her on Instragram @dunsin_writes and on [email protected] Deinde-Sanya.

21 Comments

  1. Eii

    May 20, 2018 at 8:21 am

    Dear Dunsin, Thank you for sharing. Every time I’ve listened to Adekunle Gold’s Ire I repeat same prayers for myself. May all our dreams come to pass,amen.

    • Oluwadunsin

      May 24, 2018 at 2:54 pm

      Amen. Thank you for reading too.

  2. Cozygal

    May 20, 2018 at 10:55 am

    Oluwadunsin, you write beautifully. Length. Wit. Inspiration. Smile pauses.
    Trust me, even those of us who have figured it out still battle with daily uncertainties. From the onset you knew you wanted to be a doctor; add value to lives. Then you got into medical school and started asking what area of specialty you’d delve into. That got sorted, the next question became where to work. Then the question of whether to become a surgeon or not. Whether to go into private practice or work with students.
    Till we die, we really are never certain of the future. However, we can be certain about one thing; the ONE who created and Holds the future. In all of life’s uncertainties, I’ve remained certain in the fact, that God never sleeps nor slumbers. He watches over me; and because I have laid my life in His hands He leads me in the right path.

    • Oluwadunsin

      May 24, 2018 at 2:56 pm

      “In all of life’s uncertainties, I’ve remained certain in the fact, that God never sleeps nor slumbers.” – this is deep. Thank you, I appreciate the feedback.

  3. Maryam

    May 20, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    Wow you blow my mind..this write up is just for me,thanks

    • Oluwadunsin

      May 24, 2018 at 2:57 pm

      Thank you Maryam.

  4. DEDE

    May 20, 2018 at 9:08 pm

    You hit it right,the day we know tomorrow we get on the same pedestrial with the Creator and what do you think will happen. Learning is a continous process till we depart this big Classroom.

  5. Mz_Danielz

    May 21, 2018 at 5:52 am

    Somehow life leads us into purpose if we trust God. I wanted to be a lot of things as a child but medicine was the family decision. By SS2, I knew I wanted to be in the arts but parents said to. I wanted to study masscom and be an OAP or so I thought. In school, I did a bit of modeling, pageantry, etc and these experiences gave me my 1st job in the biggest advertising agency in Nigeria and there I found purpose, I wanted to be a marketing personnel. After 4 years in the agency, I moved to the client end and I’m a marketing manager today. The future is clear for me now, I want to get to the top of the marketing world and then switch to operations management. This will give me the required experience to run my own media firm.
    I never knew there was a field like marketing when I was in secondary school (I’m not talking about what the banks call marketing oh cos that actually sales) but somehow every step, every mistake, every right and seemingly wrong decision led me here.

    Trust God and make the best of each day, he knows our destinies and will lead us in that path

    • Oluwadunsin

      May 24, 2018 at 2:59 pm

      I’m really glad you’ve found your path, some people are not so lucky. “Trust God and make the best of each day, he knows our destinies and will lead us in that path” – I like this. Thank you.

  6. Funmilola

    May 21, 2018 at 9:56 am

    This article is so many adjectives;
    It is Spiritual
    It is deep
    It is mind blowing
    It is beautiful
    It makes you want to talk, talk to your Heavenly Father. It makes you realise you’re not alone in this journey of self discovery.
    That ink of yours dd will never run dry.

    • Oluwadunsin

      May 24, 2018 at 3:01 pm

      Amen, thank you. “It makes you realise you don’t know tomorrow but you have a Father who does and who is ready to walk you through the process of arriving at tomorrow.” – yes o, we just have to keep the faith alive. Thank you.

  7. Funmilola

    May 21, 2018 at 10:05 am

    Watching adekunle gold’s video of ire made me a little jealous, here is a guy who has finally discovered his purpose….but there’s hope and hope is a beautiful thing.
    We will get there, that’s certain.

    This write-up makes you want to pray, it’s deep and spiritual. It makes you realise you don’t know tomorrow but you have a Father who does and who is ready to walk you through the process of arriving at tomorrow.

    Thank you Dunsin, may your ink never run dry.

  8. Funmilola

    May 21, 2018 at 10:12 am

    Watching adekunle gold’s video of ire made me a little jealous, here is a guy who has finally discovered his purpose….but there’s hope and hope is a beautiful thing.
    We will get there, that’s certain.

    This write-up makes you want to pray, it’s deep and spiritual. It makes you realise you don’t know tomorrow but you have a Father who does and who is ready to walk you through the process of arriving at tomorrow.

    Thank you Dunsin, may your ink never run dry

  9. seeker

    May 21, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    I decided to read this piece when I saw a referral to Adekunle Gold’s ire.

    Your words could not be more apt. Thank you Dunsin.

    For a very long time, I thought my life would be all sorted at 25 in terms of career, life purpose et al. I am 28 now and I am just scratching the surface of discovering who I am.
    Ironically, I am most thankful for the pains and discomfort such uncertainty brings just because it always reveals such beautiful inner strength I never knew I possessed – I almost feel fearless and most confident in myself. This lack of certainty brings one closer to the creator who always provides sufficient grace to keep us moving.

    I might not figure things out 100% of the time but the path remains beautiful in spite of it all.

    • Oluwadunsin

      May 24, 2018 at 3:03 pm

      Thank you Seeker, I’m so glad you’re getting stronger and more confident day by day. You are an inspiration.

  10. Mimi

    May 21, 2018 at 3:40 pm

    Very beautiful piece indeed.. Thank you for this ..first time I am reading a piece of yours and I hope to read more !!!!

    • Oluwadunsin

      May 24, 2018 at 3:04 pm

      Thank you Mimi, you can also check out my other articles, you won’t be disappointed. Trust me.

  11. Priscilla

    May 21, 2018 at 6:15 pm

    This article holds just a single place in my heart, I still can listen to this phrase from it” you can’t know the future, the day you will you become God”???. I hope God has hopeful plans . I’m just an overgrown child??. Lovely article.

    • Oluwadunsin

      May 24, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      Don’t worry Priscilla, we all feel that way. But God has better plans, and he never fails. Stay strong always.

  12. Iderah

    May 22, 2018 at 10:49 am

    Hmm.. So emotional. I shall not be an escort to others in this world as well,

    • Oluwadunsin

      May 24, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      Amen to that.

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