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The Daily Vulnerable by Chude Jideonwo: Nothing human is alien to me

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Him: And you made a statement on how only those who have deep emotions can reach deep or something like that?

Me: Yeah…

Him: Well…I went thru a deeper ocean on Monday. And it left me apart. I wish I could tell you some of these things. I honestly wish I could.

Me: Why can’t you?

Him: It’s a long talk. I’m not sure if talking about it will make it better.

Me: Ok. Pele. You’ll be fine. We have an endless capacity to recover from pain.

Him: ‘Endless capacity to recover.’ But we only feel well once we’ve recovered. What happens during the recovery stage? Where you feel like your life wouldn’t remain the same again and you find it hard going forward.

Me: Pain, tears, humanity. That’s what happens during that phase. It’s normal to feel that way. And yes, your life may not remain the same. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Our lives are not supposed to remain the same. Adversity and pain, loss and hurt just as much as joy and gladness are all here to make us into who we can be. If we allow them do their work.

Him: It’s hard. Honestly.

Me: F**king hard man. I know. Trust me. If it’s heartbreak. If it’s disappointment. If it’s being treated like shit, lied to and deceived, then I know.

Him: That sunken AF feeling. It’s everything you’ve mentioned. Sadly. How do you know so much? About these things? It’s like you know what I want to say to you before even giving you the full story.

Me: *Hugs* I am a human being. Nothing human is alien to me. I think God allowed me go through hell so I can help people I love. It’s a good feeling knowing someone has been there before.

Him: But for you, it’s a thing of “how I wish someone was there for me who had gone thru this so I didn’t have to go thru it”

Me: Not really. For me these days it’s, “wow, thank God I went through that, so u have proof that people can go through and survive and thrive.” Of course I didn’t feel that way when I went through it. But now I am glad.

Him: Wow. It’s crazy. Well…maybe now I can tell you the whole story. Cos I can’t lie that you won’t understand.

Me: I’m all ears…

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Jideonwo is a storyteller, using the research and evidence on human flourishing to inspire new narratives about politics, markets, faith, identity and society in Africa. He is a co-founder of RED, which he ran for 13 years before stepping down in December 2017. One of its companies, StateCraft Inc. handled communication for the Muhammadu Buhari campaign in 2015 and has worked in elections in Ghana, Kenya, Liberia, and Sierra Leone.

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