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Peculiar Okafor: I Could Tell You That I am a Good Woman…



…But, I won’t because before I do, I’ll have to ask you what a good woman means.

Does it mean I will deny everything about myself to be called ‘good’?

Does it mean that I’ll be ashamed of my sexuality and dare not upset anyone with it?

Does it mean I’ll take pride in my ability to endure suffering and pain?

Does it mean I’ll keep loving, pleading and begging just to keep someone who obviously doesn’t want to be kept?

Does it mean that I’ll sit on my ambitions and desires constantly apologizing for daring to even breathe?

Does it mean I’ll take care of myself last to earn the ‘Iya ni wura‘ badge of honour?

Does it mean I won’t have investments and maximize my potential?

If the above is what you mean, then unfortunately, I am not a good woman. I’ll, however, tell you the kind of woman I am.

I am beautiful, warm, loving, tender, intelligent, strong and kind.

I am filled with dreams and ambitions that I work to actualize.

I am a sexual being and I do not mind showing that off in tasteful ways.

I believe in getting along peacefully with people, not because I want to earn the title ‘good’,  but because it’s the more realistic thing to do. You spend less time and other resources when you have people in your corner.

I am deeply self-aware and I understand the best way to play the game of life using all the resources available to me.

I am loving because I have been hurt; strong, because I have been weak. I am not afraid to be vulnerable because I know even in my lowest state, I am beautiful and lovable too.

I stand in a place of wholeness and so I love right and hard; but make no mistake, I will walk away if it gets hurtful.

I’ll give everything to raise well adjusted children, but I also know that a healthy and happy mother is a gift I owe my children, so taking care of myself is not a selfish thing to do.

I climb the ladder of success in my stilettos, not losing my femininity.

I appreciate every woman around and try to see their own beauty and I teach younger females to do the same with the way I act.

I could tell you that I am a good woman, but that would be vain repetition, because I was made by God who saw everything he had made and called it good.

I am the very definition of the beauty of God and I am Peculiar; human, woman, leader and God’s own daughter.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook ''


  1. kike

    July 17, 2018 at 12:39 am

    Well peculiar you asked, does being good imply denying yourself? Heaven YES it does. Let me tell you what being a good woman means, a good woman fears God,upholds his word as ultimate in her life,puts GOD first before making any decision, she does not live to satisfy herself or her FLESH, she is DEAD TO SELF and personal desires, she walks in the spirit and knowledge of God. I hear this statements alot, DO YOU! BE YOU! WHATEVER SUITS YOU, while in fact a good woman DO GOD, DO HIS WORD, DO HIS LIFE anything besides this is on the WRONG. I say this because i dont like some lines on this piece and i perceive something not right, i could be wrong though but my dear i do hope with my explanations you now know what it means to be a GOOD WOMAN. Just like the disciples of JESUS called him GOOD and his response to that.

    • Cocoa

      July 17, 2018 at 7:46 am

      WHAT A JOY!!! You children of God are rising up and correcting falsehoods!!! Love it.

      PECULIAR, i too percieved a few things not quite right. KIKE has put it exactly the way it is. There is no self servjce on this side….we are SERVANTS OF THE LORD.

    • mz_danielz

      July 17, 2018 at 9:06 am

      Wow, Kike, thanks for reading. I’m always grateful to everyone who reads my articles and takes time to comment. This write-up was inspired a long time ago due to an incidence I observed that made it seem like women destroyed every essence of themselves to be called good, to the point that ‘good woman’ became a prison.

      I’m tempted to say you didn’t read the article (but that would be rude considering that you are very intelligent and have the comprehend things in your unique way).

      The point is simple, do things to please you and God. If you read it, I mentioned woman,human, leader and God’s own daughter’ so I live and let live.

      PS: Please take your time to read this again, this time with an unbiased mind. Also, we a Christians and we love the lord but we would NEVER impose our standards on people who aren’t christians, we would live the God-like life and let our lives lead people to christ. Thumping the bible over their heads and imposing our believes on others is actually emotional terrorism.

    • Kike

      July 17, 2018 at 5:39 pm

      No mz_danielz we dont only live the life, we also have to talk people into it though not by force. I read the article well and u did a good job, am just correcting some lines up there. A GOOD WOMAN SIMPLY IS ONE THAT FEARS GOD believe it or not.

    • Na wa o

      July 17, 2018 at 10:36 am

      Did you even read the article????

  2. Las

    July 17, 2018 at 12:09 pm

    A good woman is a woman who loves, it’s really as simple as that. A good woman inspires others, a good woman is intentional, deliberate, purposeful. A good woman recognises she is human and prone to errors, therefore makes room for and forgives her mistakes. She intentionally does the same for others. A good woman tries not to judge. I use the word try because no one is perfect. A good woman knows she’s good, not based on others’ praise or words, but by her own conviction and values,

    A few good women – Maya Angelou, Mother Teresa, Oprah Winfrey, Joe Odumakin, Madeleine Albright, Marie Curie, Malala Yousafzai, Rahab, Mary Magdalene, Mary of Bethany…

    • TEE

      July 18, 2018 at 7:56 am

      While you submission on good wooman is apt, i am agasht by your inclusion of Madeleine Albright in the list of good women, this is someone that has no humanity, she openly justify killing and maiming of iraqi children and use of banned chemical weapons which resulted in various deformities of children in Iraq, We should be objective in ascribing good qualities to people.

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