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Iniobong Umoh: Go & Marry! The Dilemma Single Men Face

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Go and marry! They keep telling young men but they never ask these men if they have found the right woman. Just because a single man has money, has a job or has reached a certain age, he must pick any woman he sees and marry! But the choice of a life partner is a very serious decision to make, because it can make or mar your destiny.

Go and marry!

So you start the search…

You see the perfect woman with all the qualities that you desire but she is living in another continent and the chance of you two meeting physically is very slim. Long distance relationship? No way! You jump and pass!

You meet a beautiful young lady, you start interacting and you find out that this one has no plans of being in a serious relationship talk less of settling down. She wants to flex for the next 5 years. This one is not just ready. You jump and pass!

You meet a mesmerizing girl that ticks all the boxes, but you discover with evidence that this one is a small girl with a big god. You jump and pass!

You meet this gorgeous being with all the right qualities: she is young and hot, and she knows it. Besieged by many suitors, her shakara level is very high. She likes you but would not commit to any serious ish because “moneyed” guys are fighting for her attention. You discover you are number 8 on her priority list. You jump and pass!

You meet this pretty young lady. She is very homely, the type that can cook and clean the house all day. The type that would serve you food on her knees, this one will address you as “My Lord”. This one will bear you 10 children. She is very docile, she has no drive, no passion and no interest in pursuing a career. She is a Yes woman who would do anything you ask her to. You don’t want a docile woman as wife, you want someone that can come up with strategies and plans to help you both achieve life goals. So you jump and pass!

You meet this lady and it is love at first sight. She is perfect for you. You both start making plans of taking things to the next level. You find out her genotype. “Incompatible! Abandon ship!” The genes scream. So you say goodbye to love. You jump and pass!

You meet this beautiful lady and both of you fall in love. She immediately dumps all her financial burdens on you. All the financial burdens of her family and her ancestors are on your head. You spend and spend until one day your eyes magically clears and you jump and pass!

You meet this lovely woman. She is a good match. Then you discover she is a religious fanatic who loves her church and her pastor more than you. This one spends all her time in church. She can’t take any decision without approval from her pastor. You will always come second place in her heart, so you jump and pass!

You meet this woman and you two are on a roller coaster ride, love is so beautiful then you want to move things to the next level. Then she drops the bombshell, “I am sorry, I have a fiancé, I am engaged. He is in America and would be coming home by Christmas to pay my bride price” You jump and pass!

You meet this breaktaking lady and you heave a sigh of relief that you have finally found the one. Then you realize that this one cannot spell the word, “Come”. You don’t want to give birth to children who will be carrying last position every term in school, you jump and pass!

You love this woman, you suspect she loves you too. But this woman does not want to say Yes to you, she also does not want to say No to you. She keeps baiting you and won’t let any other single woman come close to you. One day you get tired and jump and pass!

You meet the cutest woman you have ever seen. The chemistry between you two is very strong. Just when you think you have reached Eldorado, she tells you that she can’t marry you if you don’t join her religious sect. As a rule, members of the sect cannot marry non members. She tells you her entire family is deeply rooted in the sect. You decide you can’t sacrifice your freedom for bondage in love, so you jump and pass!

You keep jumping and passing until grey hairs fill your head and before you know it, you have clocked 80 years ?

All these and more are scenarios that many men are passing through. So you see, it is not easy for some men who are choosy and who don’t want to marry just any woman. So you marriage inquisitors, take it easy on them.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Iniobong Umoh is a multi-contextual writer, story teller and brand content creator. He writes with a touch of humour, satire and reality.Email: [email protected] IG: @ini_leroi Twitter: @iniobong_

28 Comments

  1. Mrs chidukane

    August 14, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    Oga writer, I don’t know if you realize that most of your stories lead with the woman’s looks? Lovely, beautiful, breath taking, cute etc. For once, go beyond looks. Go for someone who is not conventionally beautiful. You sound very shallow. There are more marriageable women than men. Any man that isn’t married is either extremely unlucky or doesn’t just want to marry. Even if you have a terminal illness, you will see a girl willing to marry you. Thats how you guys chase after looks over substance for the better part of your lives. When you start getting old, you start lamenting.

    • Dede

      August 14, 2018 at 7:26 pm

      You assumed every man wants to marry a woman who’s available to marry him. Does that sound like love? Should a man marry just about anyone because they are single?

      “Any man that isn’t married is either extremely unlucky or doesn’t just want to marry”. I’m sorry ma, but that’s a terrible statement. Men are no gods. The processing is exhausting for all.

      A woman recently rejected me after our first date. She says I’m an amazing man, with great personality and warm character to match. She liked everything except that I wasn’t physically attractive. I believe I am. The tall, dark and handsome didn’t quite tick all her boxes. So, a man isn’t the only one paying attention to looks, women do too, especially those few exceptional ones. Women are just as picky as men. The only difference is which woman or man in question are we talking about. A woman with many suitors may play the game, while the one who prays for someone to say hello to her, will likely jump at the first offer. Same can be said of men, too.

    • Ola

      August 15, 2018 at 11:53 pm

      *whispers* she rejected you because you are broke! Console yourself all you want about talk, dark. Yen yen yen!

    • LemmeRant

      August 14, 2018 at 8:15 pm

      That is his choice.

      Women also prioritize looks.AND MONEY over substance.

      However shallow you think his list is; it pales in comparison to a girl’s own.

  2. AdaAda

    August 14, 2018 at 3:37 pm

    I love this article ?? the struggle is real

  3. whocares

    August 14, 2018 at 3:43 pm

    what does small girl with a big god mean? or small boy with a big god? i see that a lot but what does it mean?!!! that is the only thing i chose to take away from all this. lol. thank you as you patiently explain to me. lool

    • Californiabawlar

      August 14, 2018 at 9:11 pm

      Babygal let me perch here with you and wait for answer. But to be honest I think you and I already know on the low that it’s some shady ishhhh ???

    • Beebee

      August 14, 2018 at 9:27 pm

      Girls who date rich men old enough to be their father.

    • Be

      August 17, 2018 at 8:21 pm

      Should girls be dating younger men small enough to be their brothers before?

  4. LOL

    August 14, 2018 at 4:09 pm

    This really cracked me up. I admit that I am one of those who quickly voice my concern to my male friends who have become long due for marriage and still aren’t married. Having said that, the truth is if a man ‘jumps and passes’ at every hurdle he encounters on his path towards his goal (in this case, marriage), he will remain single all his life.

    Some single men going through this phrase never really commit to a woman. They may get married if their current girlfriend gets pregnant or gives them an ultimatum to either marry them or ‘jump and pass’ with immediate effect. They might just plunge in but usually when the storms of marriage rear its ugly head, they play the victim or disengage entirely.

    Anyone in their right senses would ‘jump and pass’ some scenarios stated above but what’s wrong with the small girl with a big God or did I miss the adumbration? How about proving to the “shakara” girl that you are truly the one? As for the girl who dumped her financial burdens on you, do you realize that a husband MUST provide for his wife? It’s part of the deal. And the girl who is not saying yes or no, o boy, what not roll up your sleeves and pull out all the tricks in your hat to ensure you win her heart? The truth be told…MOST (not all) single guys who are searching for a wife and have been searching for a long time are not psychologically ready to be married. They are either lazy or unwilling to commit to any woman or one woman. (Many are dating multiple women simultaneously).

    • Ada

      August 14, 2018 at 8:37 pm

      Please, her family and their financial responsibilities is not part of the provider part of the deal. Haba!

      Only one man will take care of his wife and kids, and still take care of her family as well? You people are wicked oh.

    • bee

      August 15, 2018 at 5:44 pm

      I love this statement:
      “The truth be told…MOST (not all) single guys who are searching for a wife and have been searching for a long time are not psychologically ready to be married. They are either lazy or unwilling to commit to any woman or one woman.”

      In my opinion truer words have never been told regarding men and “the search”.

  5. Mr.man

    August 14, 2018 at 4:38 pm

    …and oh you forgot the ones that tick most boxes but can lie for africa, infact she lies so well you can’t tell till u catch her with ur two “koro koro” eyes, cos even with glaring facts will still come up with lies that would make you apologize for wrongly accusing her.

    Trust me mehn if she lies well then she cheats “wella”

  6. lollly

    August 14, 2018 at 5:51 pm

    so you meet the breathtaking woman who cannot spell ‘come’….why cant you teach her how to spell it ?
    or enroll her in necessary school/classes?
    or the love you have for her no reach that level?
    stay there and be waiting for 100% woman…..and after they will say ladies are too picky.

    • Diamond

      August 14, 2018 at 7:56 pm

      Is he a teacher? Why didn’t she learn and improve herself. Pls, nobody wants a dummy for spouse.

    • Platinum

      August 15, 2018 at 8:27 am

      I was thinking the same thing, also is he your father why should he provide for your family? Lastly, why does he have to join a queue for anyone’s attention when they’re are good girls without queues and shakara he can be with?

  7. LemmeRant

    August 14, 2018 at 8:14 pm

    That is his choice.

    Women also prioritize looks.AND Money over substance.

    However shallow you think his list is; it pales in comparison to a girl’s own.

    • Californiabawlar

      August 14, 2018 at 9:19 pm

      Hey you! Want to play a fun relaxing game? Find a large water reservoir – lake, sea, well, big tank… your choice. Carry your computer and tablets, throw them inside. Throw your phone inside too. Subsequently you also jump in. Don’t attempt to swim… just let the water take you towards the deep darkness. Treat yourself… you deserve it!

    • Cocoa

      August 15, 2018 at 9:18 am

      What a sick thing to say…when stories appear on here of people killing others do you ever wonder how it starts? It starts in their heart. What you’ve just written is exposing your heart…REPENT AND TURN TO GOD …if you don’t know..you just committed murder in the eyes of God.

    • Californiabawlar

      August 15, 2018 at 1:14 pm

      ??????????????????

      ?? my reaction to ALL your comments missy.

    • Ada

      August 15, 2018 at 10:44 am

      Maaaaaaan. I think you’ve sunk to a whole new low Calib. Not saying you owe me or anyone anything but I used to enjoy reading your comments until you had a personal vandetta against LemmeRant.

      He didn’t even come for you or anything. Smh.

    • Californiabawlar

      August 15, 2018 at 1:19 pm

      I have relinquished whatever little sense you thought I had to spirikoko BNers like @Cocoa… enjoy her comments going forward. Let me wallow in my ratchetry in peace! Sheeeeeeeeeeesh ??

    • Mama

      August 16, 2018 at 3:31 am

      @ Californiabawlar: Your comment to Lemmerant was uncalled for. I used to think it was just bants between you two but looks like I’m wrong. No reason to get this personal on the internet, you may even know each other in real life. I like the two of you, let love lead please.

    • LemmeRant

      August 15, 2018 at 1:11 am

      Hehehe.

      BN really needs a notification system.

      Lol. California dumbass.

    • Californiabawlar

      August 15, 2018 at 2:05 am

      ? ? ???????????????????????????

  8. Cocoa

    August 15, 2018 at 9:29 am

    This has to be the most immature article i’ve read in a while. None of the parties in all these scenarios listed have any business even talking about marriage..let alone going to seek a partner.
    They haven’t even drank milk, they want to eat meat. Most people think marriage is 2 lonely people coming to keep eachother company. SIGH

    • Bobosteke

      August 21, 2018 at 4:47 pm

      I believe you understand the concept of satire, don’t you?

      Don’t let your intensity prevent you from appreciating levity and banter when you see it..

  9. Blac nubia

    August 15, 2018 at 9:34 pm

    All these scenarios that the writer gave are just silly excuses. It’s true that no one wants to make the wrong choice in marriage. But it seems like he’s looking for the perfect woman. Which we all know doesn’t exist. No one inspite of how amazing they are, can check all your boxes. Life isn’t perfect. Relationships are not perfect.

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