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#BN2018Epilogues: Sarah Learned From Past Mistakes



Remember when we asked you to send in essays discussing how 2018 was for you? Because, you know, writing can be the best therapy. And sharing your joy and pain and all the emotions you’ve felt through the year can only be a good thing.

Sarah, in 2018, paid for mistakes she made in 2017. But she learned a hard lesson from it


I was ushered into 2018 with debts, debts incurred from ‘overdoing’ our budget for our wedding. You see, my wedding was the previous year, and because somewhere in the deep recess of my mind I felt I had a name and standard to uphold, I overdid myself and went all out and had a superfly wedding. Even after my husband told me, over and over, that it was the marriage itself and not the ceremony that mattered, I still went ahead to borrow cash in order to please people.

Go ahead and yimu at me. I know I deserve it. I am consoled knowing I am all the better for it, as it has taught me not to bite more than I can chew no matter what societal standards and demands are.

This year, while trying to pay off the debts, in between losing almost half of my salary to pay off these debts, my husband resigned from his dead-end job. There was nothing he was gaining from going to work daily, and his monthly salary couldn’t even pay the rent or feed us 3 times daily. Thank God my job and office came with a lot of extra allowances. God will not allow you to suffer that which he knows you cannot handle.

I digress.

These allowances were able to cater to both our needs while we went hardcore on job hunting and becoming entrepreneurs. Nigeria is hard sha. It’s been months and nothing has happened yet. No job interview, nothing. This put a strain on our marriage. There were days I didn’t just want to be married to him anymore, days when I needed to be pampered on someone else’s account, days when I thought he wasn’t doing enough to start something or get a job, days when going home to meet him felt like eating sour food because I was hungry and had no other option.

A little time apart, as much as I hated it, gave us a renewed sense of appreciation for each other. We are seriously putting friendship and love foremost in our relationship while we tackle all other issues. I know it’s just a few days to the new year, but God can do it just like that; all it takes is a second, a minute, a moment, a day and our lives will change for good.

Money is not everything, but money and other things are very vital to having an 85% successful relationship though (it’s not proven based on research, it’s just purely my opinion).


Read up on previous editions of BN 2018 Epilogues here and send in your essays to features(at)bellanaija(dot)com. Let us know all the twists and turns and successes 2018 came with. Send your mail with the title “2018 Epilogues.”


  1. Manny

    December 24, 2018 at 4:00 am

    You’re very honest to yourself.

  2. Katty

    December 24, 2018 at 2:15 pm

    I love your write up.

  3. Thank you

    December 24, 2018 at 11:41 pm

    Thanks for your honesty. Both about your wedding debt and the strain of money on your marriage. I learned something today. Thank you!

  4. UduakObong Inyang

    December 25, 2018 at 9:01 pm

    Lovely write up

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