When I met her, I dreamed of the day I would devour her. I dreamed of touching, kissing, and holding her. As our wedding drew near, the intensity of my dreams rose astronomically, but after we got married, I was sex starved.
My plan was to have sex in the morning, afternoon, evening, midnight and even as an early morning fruit salad, but alas.
Wife: “Oya na, let’s do another one.”
Expert: “Another wetin? Finest, manage that one for now. You wan kill the boy?”
Wife: “Hehe! I thought you wanted it morning, afternoon and evening?”
Expert: “That was then, when I had no idea that the path of a married man is not that he’s doing it morning, afternoon and night.”
Wife: “Hehehe! My husband ooo.”
(Take note, this conversation may never have happened, but it provides insight into many marriages and relationships.)
Personal story: We had just gotten married and barely two weeks after she was off to Plateau State for her compulsory Youth Service. “Why I come marry if I no go do something?” I even fell sick on this matter (don’t ask for details).
Many times I wanted it but couldn’t have it! The reasons were always available: she had a visitor, I was fasting (abeg, is it compulsory to abstain during this period? – don’t ask me. If you do, who will I ask?), she was sick, she was not up to it, she just wanted to cuddle, and many others I wouldn’t want to spill (in order not to scare single people from getting married. Okay, I’m kidding).
Wondering what the ranting above is all about?
Singles think of sex when they think of relationship or marriage
One of the core reasons singles want a partner is sex. When a single person sees married people, all he or she can envision is their sex life. They think this way because that’s actually the reason most people get married, but take it away from the equation and what many call chemistry will turn to physics, and they will remain single-ever-after instead of happily married ever after.
Sex is not what makes marriages last
There is a need to echo it into this generation that as much as we have sexualized everything and all we think about is sex when the issue of love comes up, it’s not the answer. It doesn’t make marriages last. You can have great sex but have a shitty relationship. Many can boast that the sex is good but their partner is the devil’s incarnate.
So, as singles, while you go around testing the cookie, never make the lifelong and life-altering decision of marriage based on good sex. It is cheap and everywhere but a partner who will make you happy cannot be found anywhere.
You will be sex starved
This is to officially prepare you, whether you are a man or woman, that the moment you get married, you will also get starved sexually; your partner is not a machine who will be ready to give it to you every single time you want it. A woman will get pregnant and may not have any desire. A man may suffer low energy due to stress that will make him wonder if his manhood is still functioning.
Get prepared and embrace self-discipline now that you are still single. Sex is an appetite that needs to first get cured, a criminal that seeks to rob you but you need to imprison it first. Sex is a need that your partner cannot meet all of the time.