As I reflected on 2019 – which I stated as ‘my year of doing’ – I asked myself what lesson I was going to take into 2020. The lesson is “It’s time to negotiate life on your own terms”.
What does this mean?
In previous years, you might have tried to fit into the expectations of people or organizations so that you could get chosen for an opportunity or accepted in a community, but you still couldn’t fit in. It might be time to admit that you are an outlier and start negotiating life on your own terms.
I have found myself going through the dilemma of defining myself. I wrote a book a few years ago titled ‘Uplevel: find your niche, share your story, build your tribe and profit from your passion’. It is a guide to helping people who are struggling to turn their passion into profit.
By following the principles of the book, I have been able to build a notable brand as a business coach and strategist for the last 5 years.
However, when I experienced certain changes in my life and I felt the need to do more, I found myself struggling to re-define who I was and what I stood for. This is when I recognized that the real struggle was that I was trying to fit into other people’s boxes or strict definitions.
I have decided to negotiate life on my own terms and choose my own definition. Here are 5 ways you can also do the same thing:
Create your own boxes
We have a tendency to put people in boxes to help us easily understand them or relate to them. We might also have been put in boxes by others. This New Year is an opportunity to break out of the boxes you have been put into and re-define who you are. This year, I have decided to embrace the title of an abundant life advocate because, as much as I want people to succeed in business, I also want them to succeed in their faith, fitness, relationships, and life in general. I have re-defined my box so I can serve people more expansively and you can do the same.
Have an abundance mindset
This means you can choose to see life as filled with abundance. There are abundant opportunities, abundant customers for your business and you can have abundance in various areas of your life. Instead of focusing on scarcity or what you don’t have, you should focus on what you have or what you have the opportunity to create this year. I have learned that where focus goes, energy flows. So let your focus be on what is possible for you this year and not on what you don’t have, this will help you create an abundant life this year.
Choose yourself and reach for the best
When you choose yourself, you don’t need to wait around anymore for people to pick you for that role or that opportunity. Sometimes, the best opportunities are the ones you create for yourself. This year, believe in yourself, bet on yourself and reach out for the best that you deserve. It is not the year to wait around and hope to be chosen, it is the year to choose yourself and make it happen.
Take control of your own outcomes
“You are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul”. This is a line from the poem, Invictus by William Ernest Henley. When you have this mindset, you will take control of your outcomes and take responsibility for doing what needs to be done to achieve the results you desire in your life. This means you will not blame another human being or the government for your misfortunes, you will take ownership and do your part to create the outcome you want.
Keep your dreams before you
You might be starting the year with goals like most people do, but the reality is that they would usually forget their goals or dreams as the year goes by. I have learned to keep my dreams constantly before me and I’ve shared a technique I use in my video. If you want to see your dreams and goals come to pass this year, keep them constantly before you.
This is your year; make what you want from it by negotiating life on your own terms.