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Rita Chidinma: Learning Emotional Intelligence from Erica’s #BBNaija Disqualification

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If you’ve been following the Big Brother Naija show, you can easily tell that Erica was one of the contestants who had a high chance of winning the prize. Her head was in the game and she had a strong fanbase. But she lost everything because of an outburst. She got strikes, then warnings, then a ‘strong final warning’, and then got disqualified.

Unbridled emotions have the capacity to set us back and ruin everything we have worked hard to achieve. How many times have we let our emotions get the best of us, only to regret it right after?

What happened to Erica can happen to anybody anywhere. You could work so hard at your organisation and be reprimanded for your shortcomings but if you refuse to take heed, one day, that organisation will be tired of correcting you all the time and decide to let you go.

As a parent, you may yell at your kids at the slightest trigger and apologise right after, but if you don’t start working towards managing your emotions better, one day you’ll yell and apologise and your apology will mean nothing to them because you’ve succeeded in creating a pattern and alienating the kids.

Sometimes, in a bid to communicate whatever issue is upsetting you to your loved one, you may let your emotions get the better part of you and say words that you ordinarily would not say. Now, instead of getting the succour or understanding you hoped to get from that conversation, you’ve succeeded in hurting his/her feelings and creating tension in the home.

You may always have an excuse to explain why you keep doing what you do but one day, like we saw in Erica’s disqualification, the excuses won’t hold water anymore and the apologies would mean nothing.

Notice how no one remembers the ‘trigger’ that led to the outbursts? That’s usually what happens when we let our emotions cloud our better judgement and overreact. You could have a legitimate reason to have that intense outburst but no one would remember it.

Self improvement is a very difficult task to take on as a young person, but also the most rewarding. If young people didn’t learn from Tacha‘s episode, I hope they learn from this one. We cannot keep cutting ourselves off at the very edge of our breakthrough.

Emotional intelligence is key to achieving your dreams – there’s a reason why it’s among the top skills to have in a work environment. Remember that you may forget what you said in anger, but the receiver of those words would hardly forget. Words scar people and most times, an apology can’t fix it.

I genuinely wish Erica all the best in her future endeavors. I hope she learns from this, bounces back, and wins.

Photo Credit: ericanlewedim

Rita Chidinma is a Post graduate researcher at Federal University of Technology, Owerri with a passion for creative writing and fiction. She is a highly intuitive and deep thinker who uses writing as a means of self expression. In her free time she loves reading, writing and writing some more. She is a wife and mother to three kids. She can be reached on Instagram and Twitter (@theritzz_) or through email, [email protected]

3 Comments

  1. Cynthia

    September 7, 2020 at 6:57 pm

    Well written

    4
  2. iba

    September 8, 2020 at 12:14 am

    Sometimes, these things are harder said than done but they must be mastered and done. As individuals, we should try hard not to harbour ill thoughts/anger in our heart without spilling it out. Sometimes we tend to do this to avoid speaking up, but you will notice when this happens, the aggrieved individual ends up saying a million and one things at once. Some of the assumptions could even be wrong, perhaps a simple conversation would have nipped such thoughts or assumptions in the bud. I have fallen for this several times.

    Another thing about interaction in general is learning about having an open and honest communication when hurt, do this when you are not blowing up. Walk away when hurt/upset and later return when much calmer to discuss your concerns. When you blow up and speak in anger and then have those assumptions corrected, you may NEVER be able to take back what you have said in the heat of anger.

    And if you are the type that finds yourself ALWAYS reacting hotly and apologizing afterwards, please watch it. You are slowing chipping away at that individual/friendship. One day, after apologizing as usual, that person will take you by the hand, look you in the eye and tell you they are done with the plenty drama. They may not even be gracious enough to do all that, they would just walk away and block you from their life.

    It is sooooooooooooooo hard to master these things, but if you do, you will be a better individual….

    49
    • Rita

      September 9, 2020 at 9:55 am

      well said!

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