Chioma Momah: How to Become Better Despite Criticisms

I recently listened to a sermon by a popular Nigerian preacher called “Lessons from an Overcomer.” One of the points that stood out to me was about critics and naysayers. While some people offer constructive criticism that motivates you to do more, a lot of criticism is unhelpful, and naysayers are just negative people who never seem to have encouraging words.

So what can we do when faced with harsh criticism or people making salty comments?

The first thing is to shake it off. I know it’s not easy, but you have to try. The truth is that not everyone will like you, especially as you climb higher in life. It’s commonly said, “You are not Jollof rice, everyone cannot like you.” And frankly, speaking, some people may not even like Jollof rice, even with fried meat/chicken and dodo. Sometimes, the person may wish they could do some of the stuff you do. Once you’ve made peace with that, it helps you roll with the punches and keep moving!

The second thing is that it may not be you. Nine times out of ten, it’s not you. A lot of people who criticise you may just not like you for no good reason. They may not like your face, tribe, gender, the way you talk, or even the way you walk. They may just want to discourage you or take away your beautiful shine. Whatever it is, don’t stop shining. Remember, a goldfish has no hiding place.

Also, realise that you’re doing well. Sometimes, having critics and naysayers is a sign that you’re doing a great job. As I noted earlier, even Jollof rice has its share of critics and detractors. In fact, when you have no critics, you may just be a “people pleaser,” and you won’t experience lasting growth. It is important to have people to checkmate us, to observe and talk about us.

Then, make sure you self-reflect. As in all things, balance is key. So if you have many critiques, it may be good to reflect and be sure that you’re not doing something wrong. It’s possible that the detractors and naysayers are haters, but what if they’re not? Always look inward and grow.

Finally, turn the beef, salt and pepper into pepper soup. Look at the bright side. Despite the criticism, you need to ask yourself if there is anything worth taking away. Yes, I know Whiny Winston is so negative but amidst all his whining, did he drop any helpful nuggets? Caustic Celestina and Mean Martha may have her issues but deep down there just may be a hint of truth in her tirade. How about Nice Nancy? Well, while she may mean well she may be so nice that she is hesitant to tell you that you really need to work on your dress sense. This doesn’t mean it is okay for critics to be mean but while their delivery is off, just try and analyse their comments to see if there is anything that can make you even more amazing.

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