Stephanie Inakoju: I Won’t Let My Insecurities Rule Me

Photo by MetaAI

We have emotions that we sometimes aren’t bold enough to confront. Most people call them insecurities. As human beings, we all carry things that make us timid, the things we’re hesitant to face people about. The flaws we believe others won’t overlook if they ever find out.

I have observed that no matter how courageous or bold you are, there’s always something deep within that stirs a sense of timidity. And while some have learned to overcome their insecurities through time and experience, not everyone has.  But I have also realised that insecurities aren’t meant to make us feel less than who we are. They make us more human. Because in all the earth, no one is truly perfect.

You see people out there, bold and outspoken, seemingly confident and fearless. What you don’t see are the cheat codes they’ve developed to keep their insecurities from dragging them down. Even I, as outspoken as I may seem, am no stranger to insecurity. I don’t view my insecurities as defects. I don’t see them as things that make me less perfect or less human. I’ve simply come to understand that insecurities are a part of us. That realisation changed everything, and I’ve learned to live with them and grow through them.

There was a time when I wasn’t so aware. Back then, I was insecure about my weight, my skin, my body stature, my small eyes, my teeth and other things. My skin was a major source of insecurity. I remember a teacher in secondary school once told me to use an iron sponge to bathe because I was “too dark.” Classmates made jokes about me, and even now at the university, people still mock my complexion. But I’ve learned to endure, to rise above it, and move on. I knew I couldn’t let these feelings stop me from becoming the best version of myself, the version I dreamed about.

Some people change their looks to deal with insecurities. That’s fine—it’s a personal choice. But let’s be real: that doesn’t make insecurity disappear. Society will always find something to criticise. People talk, people laugh, and often they don’t even realise the impact of their words. But we don’t create ourselves; God did, and perfection belongs to him alone. Yet we often lose sight of that truth in our desperation to fit into society’s standards. Many of us don’t even know how to face our insecurities, let alone overcome them.

Despite the bullying and harsh words, I’m living the dream of my younger self. I get to write, both as a passion and a career. I’m studying in the computer field, just like I always wanted. Their words, but I didn’t let them define me.

We’re all fighting private battles, carrying silent insecurities. But will we let them stop us from being our best selves? We owe ourselves greatness. We owe it to the ones who believe in us, to those who stood by us and encouraged us. Our loved ones aren’t just our parents, but anyone who lifts us higher. I won’t let my insecurities rule me. I will rise above them. I will dominate them.

Say that to yourself. Own it. You can be the best version of you. Yes, you can do it. I believe in you, and you should believe in yourself, too.