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The Daily Vulnerable: I’d like to Spend Today Crying

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I received the most human message I ever got, yesterday, from a dear friend. I want to share it with you:

“Good morning Chude. I didn’t sleep much. Yesterday, I fought the hardest I’ve ever had to fight for my life. I wanted to kill myself and go and rest. I’m glad I didn’t do it. (But) I am hurting very much. Battling depression and anxiety and winning, but not as fast as I’d like. I’m not so strong. I’d like to spend today crying and praying and letting myself hurt. I don’t want to be a strong, fierce soldier today. I want to be what I am, a hurting child.”

I was walking to a meeting when I got this message. It stopped me right in my tracks. It said something deep, whole, and human to my spirit.

It also left me speechless with the power of its honesty.

All I could reply, transfixed in that moment of the most beautiful honesty was, “hugs”.

Hugs that said ‘I understand’, ‘I think I understand’, ‘I’m here’, ‘You have a right to be here’, ‘Everything you feel is valid’, ‘You are greatly loved’.


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Jideonwo is a storyteller, using the research and evidence on human flourishing to inspire new narratives about politics, markets, faith, identity and society in Africa. He is a co-founder of RED, which he ran for 13 years before stepping down in December 2017. One of its companies, StateCraft Inc. handled communication for the Muhammadu Buhari campaign in 2015 and has worked in elections in Ghana, Kenya, Liberia, and Sierra Leone.

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