Complexion Obsession
Posted on Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 6:35 pmBy Uzo Orimalade
Now I am more than secure enough with myself now so I walked away from that event, having had a great time and not worried about my dark skin. But that conversation got me thinking. Apparently to this ‘auntie’, my appearance was not perfect because of my dark skin.
A few weeks later, I was at a shopping complex on a mission to find a local massage place I had been referred to. I found the address and the ladies rushed to me – ‘auntie, wetin you wan do. Rolling, toning? I was curious, so I asked about the toning package. I was taken to one of the rooms in this ‘beauty center’ and my guide explained – that I would lay down on this bed (which was covered in heavy duty plastic wrap – at least I think that was what it was), ‘cream’ would be slathered all over me (I would be completely nude) and then the massage girl would massage this cream into my skin using a rolling pin. Apparently this procedure has the benefit of also breaking down fat as well. I would need to do this once a week until I got to the desired shade and then come once a month for ‘maintenance’. In between, I would use the creams mixed for me. I was speechless and high tailed it out of there.
This incident got me thinking again. I remembered a conversation I had with another auntie (this one a real blood relative) before my wedding. I was at a funky spa getting the pre-wedding package done. She came to pick me up and as we walked past the products portion of the spa, she stopped and said she would get me ‘the brightening range’ to even my complexion out and give me even more beautiful skin. She must have been bothered by my dark skin again.
What is this obsession with having lighter skin? There appears to be a global perception that lighter is more beautiful. I have read several pieces that attribute part of the success of ladies like Beyonce, Halle Berry to their lighter skin tone. These articles have compared their talent to actresses such as Viola Davis and Alfre Woodard who are ‘spectacular’ actresses but who get less face time because of their darker skin. There was a lot of backlash with L’Oreal and Beyonce last year – allegations that L’Oreal used technology to make Mrs Carter a few shades lighter. Of course Beyonce’s camp issued a statement about her being proud of her heritage and all – but don’t the pictures get approved by the celeb before they go to print? Even Lil Kim (regardless of all her issues) has been on an altering mission for a few years – with all the surgery, colored contact lens and definite skin lightening.
In Nigeria, I see ‘multicolored’ ladies on the streets with bright orange faces and dark legs, knuckles, knees and elbows. I guess the more well-to-do ladies must opt for brightening ranges from French products that give more even results with fewer side effects? Men are not exempt either. I see men walking around who are definitely lightening up. If women are not lightening up, they are using lighter shades of foundation and powder to achieve the lighter look
Do we blame the media following the age old logic that ‘white’ has been pushed in our faces as the perfect standard of beauty? Or are we looking at a deeper self-esteem issues? Or is it really just a matter of personal choice? After-all this is a day and age where anything can be changed- get boobs increased or reduced in size, change your eye-color, hair color, hair length, nail length, get padded jeans to boost your derriere etc…perhaps skin tone is simply something else that can be changed because once chooses to.
Clearly, I am perceived by some to be less beautiful or downright unattractive due to my darker skin. I am so secure in my fabulousity that frankly I don’t give a damn but I enjoy watching the looks of horror on the faces of ‘friends’ and aunties’ who don’t understand why I am not interested in coming along with them to get some mixed cream to make me more ‘beautiful’.
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I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the naked body of a naturally light skinned woman. It is as if you are in the presence of an angel. It is so purely beautiful. I speak of experience, having been surounded my entire life by aunts, uncles, sisters, and brothers, that were blessed with that enchanting skin tone. That is not to count their multiple other charms such as shades of light brown to greenish eyes, pink lips, narrow and straighter noses, and tallness. (we are 100% cameroonians, 100% bamilekes, people that rarely mixed with other tribes, so I doubt the looks could come from some european genes.)
To diverge from your comments and this entire article, dark skin has nothing admirable. As a black female, you will have to be extremely beautiful to be able to stand out, the darker you are; when you only need to be extremely unnapealing to “not stand out” the lighter skin you are.
Sorry to offend you guys but being light skin is so beautiful. I feel so bad for those of you who are trying so hard to tell themselves that it is not, but it is a fact. Live with it and stop lying to yourselves. On top of that dark skin is too thick and rough. Only bleaching products are strong enough to soften and smooth it.
I wish I could naturally be like my mom, my sisters, or my aunts everyday, without having to work so hard at it. But I had to take some of the dark skin of my father.
I am not ashamed to say that I bleach my skin, I avoid the sun, and it works wonders. Thankfully I was born medium light, so that I barely have uneven skin tone, after bleaching.
So bleaching ladies out, there do not let yourselves be intimidated by all these dellusional fools. Lightness is beauty.
After reading this article and the comments that followed, I am even more proud of my dark skin. The thought of bleaching has never crossed my mind, even though I sometimes admire the light skinned people. I have a very dark, and I have a few people that call me charcoal( I don’t think I’m as black), but people often always tell me I am a black beauty. I f a boy doesn’t like you just because you are dark skinned, screw him. There are other guys; white, fairly dark, and even dark skinned ones like you that will give anything to get you. But as Tayo said, DON”T LET THE COMMENTS OF OTHER PEOPLE OVERCOME YOU
Tell me about it…I’m dark skinned, not too dark, a little bit darker than the woman on the left on that picture. Winter makes my skin lighter which I hate, I mean who wouldn’t love darker skin tones, our skin has a supernatural ability to conceal blemishes like no other lol.
ma hola evry1. am dark skind bt nt blck, i’d cal it brown. am bein specifik cos i jus LUV my skin color…mhn! i do, alot. bt i have a problm it kips goin in and out of range, mostymz i fink its d product am using and so i change. but it’l only be a while till it starts again. i jus need it 2 steady on u knw; it hurts. i’d luv sugestns if any1 has any.. and complexn has lil or nothin 2 do wif beauty..its a thin of d heart BTW.. u guyz ROCK!
People who base their self worth on the color of their skin, need a head check. Those people are what you call mental slaves. They have a mental illness. Love who you are because we are all beautiful!!!!
naturally am very light skinned dat sumtymes i aruge or get offended when ppl say one of ma parents are nt tellin dey truth cause am obviously mixed race. cuzins even ask me wht cream i use because dey fink i bleach bt den i dnt i use(dove). seriously people need to feeel comfortable with dere skin colour , cause everyone has dere colour for a reason
.x
I’d hate to think that a beautiful woman would find herself moreso beautiful if she had lighter skin. To be honest, I am of mixed race (Dutch and Bajan); I’ve been told I would have been prettier had I had my mother’s hazel eyes and lighter skin. Why is being of lighter skin equated with being more beautiful? My mother is beautiful and it’s not because she is white, it’s because she’s the strongest woman I know. I’m proud of my roots and my complexion. Confidence should radiate regardless of a person’s complexion. I sincerely hope that all people find strength in what they have, and not what people deem would make them better. Just my two cents for what they’re worth…
I am dark skinned, from a family where there are predominantly dark skinned people and the thought of bleaching has never crossed my mind. God forbid I should even think of doing such a thing! I mean, I have seen people even relatives who have done this and in my heart I just laugh at them because they look worse! The shade they have becomes wrong, they end up with black blemishes on their faces and when they break out in spots, oh dear!!
The thing that people forget about bleaching is that once you start, you have to continue till the day you die. If you happent to stop, you become even darker than when you started!
To me the palava is too much and the gain is little!
There is nothing I love more than my complexion! It really brings out my features and my face is so clear and when I wear bright colours, I so stand out!
What more could I want?!
hehe i’m dark skinned not too dark but normal dark, in my teens and i have dark knuckles, not kidding. i have never used any “bleaching cream”. i practically use neutrogena oil. so i guess not all dark knuckles come from bleaching????
I’m just not saying this, just to say it, dark skinned women are beautiful, like gorgeous. Truth is, skin complexion shouldn’t define a woman’s beauty at all, because it has nothing to do with it. Unfortunately, we live in a society where lighter skin is praised, which started with the white folks. People just want to identify themselves with been light, because subconsciously, been light looks like the ideal beauty. It’s good to see that some people are not affected by this bunch of nonsense. What about we focus on inner beauty, doesn’t matter what complexion you are, what type of hair, eyes, but your inner beauty is what should define you, as an individual.
I have a friend who’s beautiful, like natural beauty. She doesn’t know this, but I wish I have her skin so bad, it’s clear, smooth, and radiant. Sometimes, when you are light, and you breakout, everything is just out, and then you try to use makeup to cover it up, then you look like a clown, maybe not all, but I do. She said, her aunt told her it will be hard for her to find a man because of her complexion. Are you kidding me?
All I know is, when we attended an event together last time, I spotted out this cute guy, and I really thought he was checking me out, only to find out, he was checking my friend out, because he even came up to her. Mind you, that’s not the first time. So, I don’t know what her aunt is talking about.
I personally think tanning your skin is completely different from bleaching your skin, the only similarity is that both have dangerous side effects, so I don’t compare the two at all.
Im a very dark skinned and infact the only dark one in my family. I used to get compared to my sister a lot and was often called ugly. I currently live in the US and you can imagine the discrimination we darkskinned girls go through over here.My best friend over here is of lighter complexion and when we go out together nobody even wants to know who I am.The thought of bleaching has definately crossed my mind but then again I would only be allowing myself to be defeated by the comments of other people. A lot of young Nigerian girls in their teens are taking this complexion issue too far.How can we allowthe society have a great impact in ourlives. The fact that lighter people abroad like Beyonce are appreciated goes back to the issue of slave trade. The lighter skinned then were the daughters of the white master whom impregnated a black slave. I see a lot of our very own Nollywood actresses are guilty of this obsession as well, after a while they start using bleach to appeal to their audience. Nevertheless we have dark beautiful actresses like Genevieve, stephanie okereke and mercy johnson that are still representing for us dark skinned girls.
I am a dark Nigerian girl,not american, and I’m proud to be dark.Anybody that doesnt like me for who I am is not a true freind or boyfriend ,however the case may be.The same way the black people had to fight for equal rights with the white is the same way dark skinned celebrities have to fight to be as famous and as successful as they need to be. Nowadays we see a lot of talentless people making soo much money because of their complexion and the dark ones with talent e.g Kelly Rowland and our very own Oluchi Onweagba are barely even talked about.We need to love ourselves and let people know that dark is lovely. We are true Africans and being dark is definately part of our culture.This issue needs to be further emphasized for public awareness.