Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: No Roasting!

Posted on Monday, February 18th, 2013 at 11:44 AM

By Atoke

Hey guys! What did you all get up to on Valentine’s day? The fever that is associated with February 14 is usually so infectious that every one has an opinion about them. Those who think it’s an opportunity to show love, those who think that it’s an over-hyped day, and there are those who stoically maintain that it’s purely commercial.

My earliest memories of Valentine’s Day were from Secondary school. The excitement was palpable. For me, it was always about the mischief factor since I wasn’t getting any sugar from the boys in my school so it was fun watching other people unwrap their gifts, carefully left behind in their desks (lockers for you aje-butters). One year, some boys wrapped up an empty Danish Butter Cookie tin, filled it with sand, stones and kolanuts and left it for the prettiest girl in my set. It was mean but funny.

Anyway, as I grew older, I realized that girls particularly had expectations attached to Valentine’s day gifts and the day would be incomplete without a life-sized teddy bear, the humongous cards, unending boxes of chocolate, cakes and a bottle of perfume. Flowers! Ah, did I leave out flowers? I find that a LOT of women love flowers. My response to someone who asked if I liked flowers was that the last time I checked, I wasn’t a bee and since I had no plans of pollination any time soon, flowers are not my thing.  However, the joy on some faces when they are given a bouquet of flowers is simply priceless.

I asked a guy what he was getting for his girlfriend and when he listed out the things, I asked him if she liked those things and he said “It’s not really about whether she likes it or not. It’s the grandness of the gesture and the fact that her friends are gonna go ooohhh and aahhh.”  Laughing so hard, I told him he was shallow, but I knew there was a strain of truth in his words! Girls are special. I mean, we’re a truly special gender. Living in a University hostel and “roasting” on Valentine’s day is not for the weak-willed! Someone once compared it to being in boarding house on visiting day and nobody comes to visit you.

So guys, what did you get on Val’s day and what did you give to that special somebody? Did you put in any unique thought into buying the gifts or you just got something off the shelf? What was the favorite thing you got this year? Share some of your favorite valentine’s day experiences with us and share some of your terrible val’s day experiences too.

Remember, it’s all about love and happiness.

Have a fab week ahead, keep your head up. Remember to smile and stay positive. Don’t let anybody make you feel worthless or less than special.

Peace, love and cupcakes!



Be Sociable, Share!

Tags: , ,

  • Custom Search
  • 70 Comments on “Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: No Roasting!”

    • Peachy_mo February 18, 2013 at 12:23 PM

      Hmmm…I was convinced in my heart that my bf won’t give me anything because I know he is not one for such frivolities; Feb 14 is just another day. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t give me gifts on ordinary days. So, I lived the day in illusion of it being an ordinary day until a close friend called me and asked me what I got for my bf and I said nothing -_- she was shocked and rained all sort of abuses on me that I had to go and buy him a perfume and the rightly labelled humongous card with chocolates. Fast forward to 8 pm when we saw, he saw a wrapped box peeking from my bag and brought it out saying “what is this? who gave you this? someone at work abi?” I didn’t respond which made his questions true. He open and saw chocolates (the perfume was nestled at the bottom of the box) and his eyes changed at that point I told him its for him and he responded “why will you buy me chocolates?” (I always harass him on his sweet tooth so its quite ironic that I’ll buy chocolates for him) which got me furious and bang! went the night in a wave of anger (of what do you mean?!) after about an hour of back and forth he apologized, we had dinner laughed and enjoyed the remains of the day and he took me home. I felt glad I had gotten him something even if he had not gotten my anything. I had my shoes from the week in the boot of his car which I took out before heading into my house, bade him goodnight only for him to call out that I should carry my pack in the boot jor! Surprise was clearly all over my face… I went back and saw a white carrier bag with a single rose pointing out (although I’m in the same boat with Atoke on flowers)…I gave the rose to my mum telling her how much I love her (that was the highlight om my day! she glowed with happiness). In the carrier bag is a box, wherein a Sekonda black glitter strap wrist-watch lies seductively…it is simply adorable! Regardless of our opinion of the day, we ended up celebrating it not in the popular frivolous way, but in an intimate precious way. We exchanged gifts that are NEEDS ( I had recently misplaced my wrist watch and he was recently shopping for a perfume) not things that won’t carry weight or meaning after Feb 14. I look at my wrist every now & then with a smile…I take a deep breath and smile every time I hug him or move close to him…It is a wonderful experience and I can say the same for him because he often catches my smile which makes him smile too!

      • Ashani February 18, 2013 at 7:26 PM

        Eeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… ”romansing”

        • Mo' February 22, 2013 at 11:09 AM

          lmao @ how romansing!!!

    • Berry Dakara February 18, 2013 at 12:33 PM

      Wilted flowers and cupcakes – both of which are on my list of, ‘What NOT to get HER for Valentine’s Day.’ I even forgot the flowers in my car for almost 24 hours :p

    • Neo February 18, 2013 at 12:40 PM

      The almighty valantine that came and went. I actually missed my old office where it was a competition between the WAGS asociation. I couldnt fathom being married, kiss my husband goodbye in the morning and then by 12 noon, getting a dozen red roses and huge balloons tied to my chair in the office. Like really? So when i think about vals day, i see it as an opportunity for the haves to tension the have nots. To let the whole world know that we are loved and le lover is better than yours.

      This vals day was one of the best ive had in a long while, i expected no pomp and fanfare. My bf and i literally exchanged gifts, like he said what he wanted as did i and we even exchanged gifts before vals day. On vals day we had a candlelit dinner (courtsey PHCN, really) sat on the floor with my friends, ate, sweated and gisted. It was a good day all in all. I am still receiving insults at the office though as a young girl such as my self could not “perform”. One man even asked me for proof that i did not roast this vals. IF it truly is about love then its rellay nobody’s business what i got or who i did *wink* Aint nobody got time for that!

      • purplepearl February 18, 2013 at 1:02 PM

        LOL “aint nobody got time for that!”

      • Tolani February 18, 2013 at 2:02 PM

        Awwwwwwww! I’m so happy for you Neo. You must have had a wonderful time with your bf. may God strengthen your relationship IJN. You show Nigerian couples that it isn’t about exchanging gifts for all to see but the thought behind it.

    • iyaibeji February 18, 2013 at 12:43 PM

      I gave, gave and gave and did not get any thing in return. its not worth it jare. heart break configured!

    • Mommy Omolade February 18, 2013 at 12:56 PM

      It was as expected no fun fare. My husband has no iota of romance in him. I don’t require big expensive gifts just little gestures of sensitivity. I went all out as usual to get him gifts which I handed over to him first thing in the morning. I just got thanks, though he got back from work he bought me shoes which as far as I am concerned was an afterthought. Anyways I am already used to the disappointments about getting something nice even it is worth 5 naira romantically and sensitively

      • Lola February 18, 2013 at 2:04 PM

        Awwwww…..maybe you should hint him that you kinda like the romantic stuff. But then again, if he’s not wired like that, he isn’t. Just be thankful you have a good man, cos my dear at the end of the day a i’m sure you’d rather have a man who is the head of the family in every way – spiritually, financially etc than a so-called romantic man!!l

      • Non professional opinion February 18, 2013 at 2:27 PM

        This was my husband last year along with a speech about it being a commercial pointless holiday ( he didn’t say all that when we were dating). So this year I wrapped a sachet of stain remover in a very nice red bag and surprised him with my joke when he came home from work. Haha very funny until I walked into the living room to find 2 lovely boxes of goodies. Shame catch me I no fit lie!

        • Pd February 18, 2013 at 3:41 PM

          Lol……sorry! You will make it up to him somehow!

      • Lolo February 18, 2013 at 3:15 PM

        By God’s special grace you will receive new wine in your marriage. This made me sad…God will work on him, amen!

    • Retrochic February 18, 2013 at 12:56 PM

      am a very tradittional person, and so days like christmas days, birthdays and ofcourse valentine days, is always very dear to me, and i always like to be with loved ones, family, and friends and of course le boo, buh it bcomes very sad wen ur boo, is nt so keen on Val’s day. to me i feel its a day set aside to make some certain people feel appreciated, i dnt know y is so difficult for some people to do. i kinda believe love makes you do things that ordinarily you wouldnt do, so if i am with someone that doesnt make me feel special on a day like that, i leave, my own 2 scents

    • florence February 18, 2013 at 1:08 PM

      Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Vals day as aLways being like any other day 2 me! So dis wasn’t exceptional @ all. Just me n my tots!!!

    • adelegirl February 18, 2013 at 1:12 PM

      I got nothing o :-(
      Well, not really… I was sick so mr man picked me up from work and had made better fresh fish stew and rice for me. That was how we did our own “falantine”. When you’ve been together for 12+ years, certain things like the euphoria of valentine’s day don’t mean as much anymore.

      Meanwhile, I was a proper roaster at secondary school o. Well, I attended an all-girls school so roasting was common. To think I started early with the valentine pressie thing. My very first valentine gift from a boy was when I was in in pry 4. I got to school and found that I had been “val-ed” by two boys! I found the gifts in my desk – cards, a doll and shortbread biscuits. Lol! I felt like a princess. :-)

      • nana February 18, 2013 at 1:48 PM

        I dont think you should say you didnt get anything. He cooked for you and took care of you when you were sick. That is better than flowers or chocolates. He showed you love and that is the whole idea behind ‘falentines’. Be happy and thankful cos you have a good man honey

    • Priscy February 18, 2013 at 2:51 PM

      I gave le boo a nice bottle of perfume and a pair of shoes, he got me a Gucci dark shades and he said the other package is still on the way…*i wonder how ling it will take to arrive* anyway, we spent the whole day together. It was bliss

    • Priscy February 18, 2013 at 2:51 PM


    • abimboladare February 18, 2013 at 2:59 PM

      nothing for us o. I was away on a work related trip, came back home and just crashed. I think its time me and mr chinco eyes resurrected our romantic streak.

    • xter February 18, 2013 at 3:06 PM

      i actually did not get anything, my husband is military and he is not romantic at all, he woke me up and said baby happy Valentine’s day, and i reply same. that was all. though i wasn’t expecting anything from him, but i was just upset that aleast he would have bought a bottle of wine on his way back home, for us to celebrate since it was our 1st val as a couple.

    • naa abena February 18, 2013 at 3:08 PM

      i got a scale for valentines. like a scale that you use to weigh yourself. we broke up the next day!

      • Nonoo February 18, 2013 at 3:21 PM

        Seriously girl am sorry, but I honestly hope I don’t get a query cos of how hard this made me laugh at work. I’d stay mad at you if u don’t break up with him. Tf!!!

        • naa abena February 18, 2013 at 4:38 PM

          Glad i made u laugh! he actually just rang to say i shot him down after he made such an effort to get me something! effort where and how?

      • loo February 18, 2013 at 4:46 PM

        looool o my!!! what does he mean by that choi!!! some pple are wicked gannnn

      • Concerned_Boyfriend February 18, 2013 at 9:17 PM


      • Purpleicious Babe April 4, 2013 at 5:26 PM

        LMFO.. cant help it..jokes

    • divea February 18, 2013 at 3:20 PM

      I went to work and came back home, ate and slept off. Although, i didn’t receive any gifts from anyone, i got calls from loved ones.

    • Abana February 18, 2013 at 3:23 PM

      I roasted on valentines day. My boyfriend in the evening told me he had nothing planned. First time in all the years we have been dating. So we cooked some pasta and chicken and ate it while watching Genevieve Nnaji in He lives in Me (silly movie btw). After our meal, he calmly told me he doesn’t intend celebrating valentines day again. He loves me everyday and that should be enough. What did I say? No problem.
      True to his loving me everyday, I had the most romantic weekend – weekend away, wining and dining, spa treatment, boxes of goodies. It was one surprise after the other. I reasoned he just doesn’t want a valentine tag to his gifting and loving. No complaints here.

      • jane February 18, 2013 at 4:54 PM

        I like his idea though

    • dont mention February 18, 2013 at 3:31 PM

      my bf n i are in a LDR, so we just spent time chatting all night on skype and we exchanged poems….it was my first valentines and i loved loved loved it……..

    • tee February 18, 2013 at 3:39 PM

      @naa abena LMAO! Now that is funny and quite insensitive on the boo’s part. I hope you didn’t let it affect your self esteem cos nobody should determine how you feel about ur self

    • zahra February 18, 2013 at 4:25 PM

      my bf actually broke up with me on vals day…….so i val’d myself with chocolates and a box of tissue

      • Partyrider February 18, 2013 at 5:31 PM

        Lmao..i am sorry for laughing. but…

        • shells February 22, 2013 at 12:12 PM

          i laughed too…hahaha

    • motun February 18, 2013 at 5:24 PM

      Hm, i managed to get a cake from my charming boo….i love and appreciate it!
      the meanest and funniest val gift i saw a girl receive was back in secondary school (kankon) the proud senior student who reconciled with her scope(boyfriend) weeks before val day got a nicely wrap box containing shit (feaces)…

    • Biso February 18, 2013 at 5:28 PM

      IMO vals day is soooooooo overated abeg! In the past i used to really celebrate it back then plus sometimes it was difficult as vals day is my ms bday n i love my mum more than any guy. Fast forward a few years and in my current relationship everyday feels like vals day in our relationship we love each other dearly and show each other everyday.

    • olamide February 18, 2013 at 8:32 PM

      Did my pregnancy test on vals day with my husband and it came out POSITIVE so I wrapperd it with a pair of shoe I got for him.
      When he opened it he didnt notice the shoe just the test and has been treating me like an egg.

      Hgot me an LV bag and wallet, I have been eyeing for the last 7 months :-)

      • Partyrider February 18, 2013 at 9:20 PM

        awww congrats. may God see you and the baby to full term and continue to fill your home with joy. God bless u :D

    • Concerned_Boyfriend February 18, 2013 at 9:15 PM

      @Peachy_Mo, what is a carrier bag ?

      • Mz Socially Awkward.... February 18, 2013 at 11:08 PM

        “water-proof bag”

      • Let it Be.... February 19, 2013 at 1:42 AM

        “nylon bag”

      • Italian Princess February 19, 2013 at 9:20 AM

        Lol “LYLON BAG”

    • douby February 18, 2013 at 9:56 PM

      My husband insists the fresh fish he brought home was my vals gift. I found it so funny I cldnt get angry. What can I say, he’s still a gd husband and dad

    • molly February 18, 2013 at 11:46 PM

      lol it seems im the only single girl commenting on this. ok i called my brothers to wish them happy vals day and to also tax them for money. so i got money and i was also priviledged to give a young disabled beggar some money. i was touched. i also gave my hairdresser’s niece and nephew some money. i did appreciate my parents. i have never celebrated vals day before so this one would be etched in my memory i guess.

    • whumey February 19, 2013 at 3:25 AM

      the day started sent a romantic poem by midnight, and some minutes later we get a call that a close friend of ours just died so away went all the plans and mushy stuff. it ended up being a very black day

    • Yeye February 19, 2013 at 4:26 AM

      Valentines day is over rated Jo……ma hubby and I do gifts at Xmas, anniversary n birthdays so it was no biggie…..since we we both on diff continents uk and America on that day we just visited, shared crazy valentine jokes n dat was it……guess the older u get the less drama comes with it. Now it’s just sex and everyone trying to outdo each other while all the day leaves behind is std,s, DNA drama, lies and cheating all in the name of valentine…..meanwhile the true meaning of love is underated

    • Toyeen February 19, 2013 at 9:30 AM

      Well the fact that i am single i didnt expect anything. my friend nd i at work bought things to eat at work, a colleague ordered pizza. I enjoyed my day but i remembered d last val i had wit ma first love i was in the uni then, it was d best val ever….

    • Peachy_mo February 19, 2013 at 9:57 AM

      hahaha! @polybag& lylon bag! haba its them patent cardboard bags na with rope handle…na wa o…

      • Italian Princess February 19, 2013 at 10:25 AM

        Lol You know we were being sarcastic and being playful right? :D

    • pade February 19, 2013 at 10:14 AM

      I remember 2008 vals day vividly cos my husband totally forgot with the excuse that he was very busy at work. It was soo bad that day that he did not even remember to call and find out how i was doing, meanwhile every babe including the married ones in my office got something from their significant other.
      I quietly left the office that day very downcast to join him in his office, when i got to his office i refused to call and waited patiently by the car for about 90 minutes before he called to find out if i was ready , i told him i was outside waiting and just as he got to the car i busted out in tears saying i was the only one in the office who did not receive a gift, the security men gathered ooooo, trying to calm me down cos they were surprised at my outburst thinking maybe i was attacked while i stood by the car waiting.
      My hubby was in shock saying he did not even have a clue of what the day/date was but apologized, i refused to be consoled ooo as i wept all the way home.
      He got the message ooo and since that particular year he dares not forget.

      • YummyMummy February 19, 2013 at 2:20 PM


      • Nshina March 4, 2013 at 4:47 PM

        Valentine’s day is overrated jare!…but maybe I’m just saying that cos I’m a regular ‘roaster’.. ;) ;) ..hahaha!

        For me a lovely valentine’s day would involve having a quiet dinner at home with my significant other. Watching reruns of romantic movies while snuggling closely under a duvee and sipping wine and eating chocolate. I chose to be alone this valentine’s cos I can’t imagine spending valentines day with a guy I don’t like – that would be so depressing.

    • eniola February 19, 2013 at 1:23 PM

      @ pade awww, good thing he never forgets now. I got a nice neck piece from my best male pal n nothing from beau, who didn’t even show up, even though he is 20 mins away but just cald once to say, he saw my friends smwhr and aw was my day going? Yet i went ahead n got him 2 lovely shirts, not wanting to be caught unawares, whenever he comes. *me jonzing* He neva came n i no talk too, until we saw during the weekend n he told me he ordered for a gucci bag for me buh it didn’t arrive early enough n still hasn’t arrived…. lool. So he got me a white Greek dress and H and M geek glasses. And I gave him the shirts too.

    • will-i-am February 19, 2013 at 3:30 PM

      well,i didnt get anytng on val’s day o buh i gave ma boo a suprise visit @ his office wif a luvly cake.wen he saw d cake,he went speechless nd i cldnt stop smiling 2.we went out lata @ nyt 2 get pizza nd den he droppd mi off @ 2 say i had a nyc tym wif him….

    • alice February 19, 2013 at 4:17 PM

      hmmm some male colleagues bought me cake…also there’s dis guy we just getting to knno each oda suprised me with a cake i wasn’t expecting aanytin frm him though so i appreciate…..been always very unfortunate on vals day …

    • NOKSIS February 21, 2013 at 12:42 PM

      I have been very unlucky for gifts at Christmas, val and even my birthday. So i didn’t hope foe anything. When i get boyfriend, i been no dey get gifts. so no be now when i dey boyfriend-less. I was buried in work, and latter got to gist with my brothers and sisters and night. The love unconditionally, so i am consoled. But i me my earnest prayer is to end up with a man who will buy me gifts for no reason to console me for the past. Even if it a book on my birthday or music cd on a friday evening.

    • NOKSIS February 21, 2013 at 12:43 PM

      Not that i don’t buy gifts for them. I do buy. But it beats me why the gesture is never reciprocated. It makes me sad

    • Jane February 21, 2013 at 5:40 PM

      Una own even better. I got a text message saying happy vals day,sweets. Suffice it to say that that’s a wrap,folks! N this is some1 i bend over backwards to buy decent gifts for on occasions. I knew something like this would happen so i put my spending on a leash. No need spending on someone who can’t or won’t spend on you. N its not like he does not have the means to do so. May such men stay far from my abode in Jesus Mighty name! Can i get an AMEN???

      • NOKSIS February 22, 2013 at 10:28 AM

        Amen! Amen!! Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Mo February 21, 2013 at 5:59 PM

      I roasted with joy…………hehehehehe

    • Mo' February 22, 2013 at 11:11 AM


    • Abiola February 22, 2013 at 11:21 AM

      i got a necklace from my Boss *eyes closed*

      • B! March 4, 2013 at 1:39 AM

        LMAO I don’t even know what to say … just make sure you open those eyes sharp sharp!

    • The Special One February 23, 2013 at 11:13 PM

      Went to work, very busy day. Got home around 8, myself and flatmate gisted in darkness (thanx to phcn) jand went to sleep around 10. What a boring day.

      • The Special One February 23, 2013 at 11:14 PM


    • faith February 25, 2013 at 1:32 AM

      I got a hand bag from my hubby N I bought him a shirt….

    • Crysz March 2, 2013 at 12:21 AM

      Some hav boo bt av no gifts, sm av gifts bt hav no boo, u hav gifts n u hav boo..beta tank yur God i dint evn get a flash on vals day… much 4 valentine..

    • Foluke June 10, 2013 at 4:26 PM

      My response to someone who asked if I liked flowers was that the last time I checked, I wasn’t a bee and since I had no plans of pollination any time soon, flowers are not my thing. @atoke, lmao! Ahan! You are ‘hatsh’! *tongue out*

    • Foluke June 10, 2013 at 5:46 PM

      @whumey, pele. May God comfort you and yours