Meagan Good & DeVon Franklin face Skepticism over “The Wait” – No Sex Before Marriage Book

Actress Meagan Good & her husband DeVon Franklin are currently doing the promo rounds for their book – “The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love” on radio and TV in the United States.

The couple tied the knot in 2012. They had met on set of “Jumping the Broom” which Meagan starred in while movie executive Devon was also involved in the film. Over the years, they have been open about how they had a sex-free courtship as Devon was celibate for 10 years prior to his relationship with Meagan while she had been celibate for a year.

All through their promo tour, we have noticed the cynicism and skepticism from the press. For example, check out this interview on CBS This Morning.

The New York Post published a piece which some are saying “slut shamed” Meagan by stating –

“She had a string of romantic liaisons throughout her teens and early 20s, including Lil Wayne, 50 Cent, Nick Cannon, Jamie Foxx and former Kansas City Chiefs running back Thomas Jones — but it wasn’t until one of her beaus cheated on her that Good began to consider celibacy.”

Meagan has denied the accusations by calling “The Breakfast Club” radio show today.

“I haven’t been with Lil Wayne, I haven’t been with Jamie Foxx, I haven’t been with Nick Cannon. It’s really disappointing. Why would someone print something in a story that I never said?”

“I never said I gave up sex after an ex-boyfriend cheated on me…I gave up sex because I got tired of being in relationships and getting the same results and I wanted to grow. It’s something I believed I should have done all along.”

the-wait Devon Franklin Meagan GoodBellaNaijarians, what are your thoughts. Is No Sex before Marriage or Celibacy such an unbelievable concept in today’s modern world?

95 Comments on Meagan Good & DeVon Franklin face Skepticism over “The Wait” – No Sex Before Marriage Book
  • A Real Nigerian February 4, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    “BellaNaijarians, what are your thoughts. Is No Sex before Marriage or Celibacy such an unbelievable concept in today’s modern world?”
    Why is sex before marriage such a big deal? Why is it something worth discussing? If not for the extreme pettiness of people today and laughable religious standards, who cares if you have sex or not before getting married?

    • Madre mufasa February 4, 2016 at 8:15 pm

      This is why shit gets crazy in female lives, not addressing it.

      This is exactly how I feel, and so i have been celebate for over 2oyears now am dating a guy and in our 3rd year his has turned me a technical virgin, but I always feel sick and disgusted and f-ng bored of him and this relationship

      I know its because made me get to this point, also because I allowed sometimes I think I should just give it up, but he is a good person if you over look some ode behaviours that he has sha.

      But for the hell of it, I feel like I might get rid of h this relationship, plus there is this stupppid assumption that women will die if we don’t get gifts this month tweeeeeeechhhhhhjjj


      • The real madam February 4, 2016 at 11:05 pm

        I have no freaking clue what gibberish you wrote up there! For havens sake…..Speak English!

        Or perhaps you should consider the use of talking drums or better yet smoke signals…..Maybe, just maybe, we might understand you then!

      • encouragement February 9, 2016 at 11:42 pm

        whatever it is you’re feeling. Like devon said celibacy is for a higher purpose than even your boyfriend and your feelings. Stay strong and it’ll be worth the wait in due time.

    • King Bae February 4, 2016 at 8:21 pm

      STOP IT! The same way, sex, immoral dressing and acts are celebrated, i believe this should be celebrated too. #TeamCelibacy #TeamWorthTheWait.

      • Miss T February 5, 2016 at 10:59 am

        while growing up i saw it as a priority to be a virgin, while my uncle will flog day light out of me every time he saw me with any male i told him he’ll get a testimony from my hubby after our wedding saying i was a virgin, that was actually a promise i made to myself, i tried until after high scul, dunno wat hapnd dat day but i know i forgot abt d promise i made to myself, now i am not a virgin nd i’ve been having sex but seeing this now?… i feel so ashamed of myself nd i know am gonna try as much as i can GOD WILLING to stay celibate, am so glad i came across this.

    • Damilola February 4, 2016 at 9:03 pm

      @A real Nigerian

      Since you want to get ignorant, let me educate you for a second. The same way sex is selling everywhere, homosexuality/trans, getting drunk, stealing/lying, people on drugs Etc is talked about freely should be the same way things opposite of that should be talked about freely. Infact, it should be in our face just the same way crazy things are always in our face.

      Just bcos you see sin, immorality more doesnt mean people with morals, values are non existent. Sex before marriage is not only a religion practice but also a cultural practice. My Taiwanese friend is not a Christian neither is she a religious person but she had to practice no sex before her marriage. The modern world make it seem like it’s an odd to not go with the trend but it’s not. Things that happened back then are very much applicable to now. People might evolve with their own new rules, beliefs but there’s an ultimate standard truth that will remain the same.

    • Ngozi February 5, 2016 at 3:03 am

      It’s a good idea guys. Being celibate is good. No kiss and tell issues, life is just stressless the way. Finally, you get over heart breaks easily, I moved on so quickly, when you see someone so extremely pained. The first thing that comes into your heart is whether the person gave it all inside out. Unnecessary wahala biko.

    • RIFF RAFF February 5, 2016 at 11:16 am

      Megan should do something about those thinning edges though…..

      • Bola February 6, 2016 at 12:21 am

        Her name is Meagan! Fool!

    • wendy elenwo February 6, 2016 at 4:26 pm

      Celibacy has been in the dark for over the years now,but what most girls and women don’t know is that Cinderella didn’t have to take off her dress to get prince charming,so we in reality don’t have to either,celibacy is a choice and at first when you start its hard but as time goes on you actually get closer to God and know his purpose for you,that’s when you will realise it was actually a good choice by being celibate…I just broke up with my bf who couldn’t cope but hey I rather lose a bf Than lose God in my life…single ladies need to start making proper choices…good book cant wait to get mine!!!

    • Fs February 20, 2016 at 7:21 am

      She had plenty of sex before marrige just not with him. She gave up sex to level set with a relatively unitiated good catch.

  • jide February 4, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    These two need to find something else to talk about jare. Why is their celibacy news?

    • Nice February 4, 2016 at 8:22 pm

      They have every right to talk about their celibacy as it will help a lot of people currently at the crossroad..

      • Kathy D ❤ Dr February 4, 2016 at 8:37 pm

        @ Nice thank U!!! Freedom of speech like they say, so they are allowed to voice their option. And I can’t blame Megan at all. She sound like me right now.. It’s terrible been in a relationship & constantly getting the same mess ALL the time. What’s the point??? Just like she made up her mind on Celibacy, that’s exactly what I did too. Oh yes, it’s working GREAT for me. I am trying to work on my relationship with God?, if I can fix it & start all over, I wouldn’t even think of it at all. I’m better in loving myself & God even more. I couldn’t be happier & God has been so merciful towards me. Resisting crazy guys that ain’t worth it. And now, if I see you & I know shit ain’t coming out from the relationship, I DON’T bother starting it & I bounce with immediate effect. Like my mom always said ‘do whatever u like, but knowing God on that level is the best thing u can ever do for yourself & your body’.

    • Californiabawlar February 5, 2016 at 4:34 am

      A girl commented on this same BN just yesterday or so that she’s a virgin and hasn’t gone all the way because her bf just stays in her vjayjay for about 30secs and has never cum inside her.
      Sweetie not everyone on this blog is as experienced and knowledgeable in these matters…just like we have open discussions about sex, with several people married and single alike commenting on how they get down…let’s allow for celibacy as well.

      Personally, I never understood why we have to be celibate until marriage….we’re such sexual beings…my hyperactive hormones started raging at 12/13….I remember the first time I felt agros, I was so confused! What is a teenager supposed to do with all those feelings? And if you masturbate they will say you’re having sex with demons…that one na no go area fa! Also let’s add the late marriage factor, why won’t God just provide husband sharp sharp for someone who’s waiting? NO DISRESPECT! Imagine getting married as a virgin at over 35?! How many good years your pumpum got left uh? Ya cat has just been sitting there for how many decades, doing nothing!! Ta!
      I understand the physical problems that can come with sex and intimacy, but bruh virgins get their hearts broken too( maybe even more than people doing the nookie)… I know a guy who thinks we’re soulmates though we barely even kissed! He’s married and still texting…so is it safe to say the whole soul ties talk can miss me? God forgive me o! But this celibacy thing is one thing I follow blindly for the most part….

      I’m probably a lot more sexual/sensual than sexually active people…I’m where I’m at today because I was quite prideful as a younger girl so I couldn’t imagine getting that intimate with anyone…yes I know, spirituality plays a huge role, and once or twice when the thought crossed my mind, my ‘I’m worth waiting for’ teen church moments did keep me sane. Given all the rubbish I just typed maybe I need to visit the nearest teen church to refill on abstinence preaching ?
      Pardon my longass comment…it is what it is…

      • Sunshine February 5, 2016 at 8:24 am

        Lol this comment gave me life today. Dear Sisters; the misconception with virginity and celibacy is that there is an automatic guarantee that you will find a ‘good’ man that will place you on a pedastel and make you queen simply because you didn’t give up the cookies. No boos. You will get the same quality of beef we the non-celibate and non-virgin sisters get. Megan got lucky. I know SEVERAL women who made the same choices and didn’t. If your choice to engage in no sex before commitment is for God, then by all means ladies go ahead and do it. Privately. Do not go about bashing or judging those of us who choose not to. Live and let live pls. Thank you.

      • Californiabawlar February 5, 2016 at 9:10 am

        Sunshine: the last part of your comment is a misconception that sexually active people use to make themselves feel better about their lifestyle choices. Sweetheart, like you said, like and let live! Because a girl is a virgin does not make her stupid or delusional! We all know most men cheat! My decision to abstain is totally different from my prayers for a good husband who will love and cherish me. Don’t use the fact that we’ll all get the same type of wishywashy husbands to justify your disobedience….if you enjoy having sex then so be it….but I don’t walk around degrading people who don’t indulge in my own vices do I? I’m not disillusioned that I’m perfect, there are some flaws I have that a man would see and jejely gladly pick someone who’s had 50partners over me, hence I don’t have any unrealistic expectations just because this one part of my life is in obedience to God.
        Y’all need to quit it! worry about yourself…. You’re having all the fun, why do you feel the need to berate the other ‘team’? is something instinctively telling you something? Abeg come join us in using hot towels, Megan is the perfect example, you too can become a born again virgin….

      • gong February 5, 2016 at 4:01 pm

        lol @CB, I totally feel you! If indeed God wants us to wait till marriage to have sex why give the ‘desires’ so early and then not provide hubby on time? Like you too, it was a combination of pride and religiousness that ensured i did not have sex as a younger women, now i am thirty, and i am thinking, “Since i have waited this long….” Oluwa, you have been called the boo provider, abeg hasten and answer me o, as CB, said, how many more years does my pompom now have sef as i am 30 going on 31?

  • Ayoka February 4, 2016 at 7:37 pm

    Be cynical all you want. It’s what God thinks that matters to me.

    • kehinde February 5, 2016 at 10:33 am

      Say it LOUD!!!!!


      • Sunshine February 5, 2016 at 7:20 pm

        Dear CarlifoniaBawler and distinguished members of the teamnopremaritalsex: Your decision to single out my comment for bashing is a complete justification of the points I made in it. I don’t care how many times you all collectively disvirgin the ‘love it’ button to form supporters club for your veiws, you cannot cyber bully me into accepting it sweeties, at best I will respect your right to an opinion like we adults do. Let me repeat the last part of my comment again boos:

        “If your choice to engage in no sex before commitment is for God, then by all means ladies go ahead and do it. Privately. Do not go about bashing or judging those of us who choose not to. Live and let live pls. Thank you”

        Keep that hot towel love, I most definitely don’t need it. Lol.

      • Californiabawlar February 6, 2016 at 5:05 am

        Lol… I actually liked your comment o! Plus why you’d consider my comment as cyber bullying is beyond me. I don’t need you to accept my views… I don’t even fully accept my own views on the topic (you should be able to decipher that from my comments).
        Now there is something chukking you in your body, you seem testy…hence why I offered you hot towels. And as you have refused them na, abeg desist from your ‘condescending’ ways ehn! It only shows your insecurities! You’re giving advice on how and why to be happy about celibacy and abstinence…something you probably know nothing about…if I like I stay celibate for the gods in my village or because I think it will get me a promotion at work, how is it your concerns?! See, when people comment about gbenshing, I either read and learn tips, or just skip it all together… I don’t have an opinion on if sex should be on the first date, 3rd date, after you fall in love, or just with anyone because you love the act… I just stay in my lane!

        Meanwhile not our fault your opinion is not popular…BN won’t let anyone like more than once…not like it matters that much.

  • Precious February 4, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    No Sex Until Marriage is still possible. I got married July last year and prior to then my husband and I didn’t have sex. We both married as virgins. With God’s help it’s very possible despite temptations. Have a great evening!

  • Me February 4, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    This no Sex thing is the reason why I’m single to stupor… It’s becoming impossible to find sensible men in this age, God dey Sha, I pray that He hears my prayers. PS why the heck are people criticizing her, who doesn’t have a past or skeletons in their closet, all these judgy judgemental people na waaa

  • B February 4, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    No Sex before marriage is so achievable. I will be 26 this year and I have never had Sex nor kissed before. It is definitely worth the wait.

    • yeyeperry February 5, 2016 at 11:32 am

      @B o, you are the one we’ve been waiting for jare. Abeg how can my brother fin you?

      • Ada Nnewi February 5, 2016 at 12:27 pm

        Is your brother a virgin?

  • ziza February 4, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    It is!
    a lot of people are celibate and it has been working for them, they just do not broadcast it and so there is an assumption it is no longer practised
    on non-spiritual grounds, no sex before a serious commitment establishes grounds for getting to know the other partner without being clouded by deep bonds sex can create. Dating should be a time of asking questions, observing patterns and enjoying companionship. Sometimes people clearly tell you they cannot end things with someone they have realised they should not be with because they were sleeping together. Some people laugh it off…but they are simply explaining they simply feel quite attached to that person.
    But overall, when the motive is stronger, it helps..
    on a christain ground, God does not endorse premarital sex and from what i have observed, everything he told us to abstain from is for our own good. You want to be open with someone that has opened his/her heart and when you are getting intimate, you know the corners of the person’s heart, trust is already establishment and there is a sincere commitment. getting it all muddled up may not enable you think clearly. however, this is not easily acheivable for a christain that desires to obey God in all things and not just in sexual matters..But His grace is readily available for those that need it

    • ziza February 4, 2016 at 7:57 pm

      however, this is easily acheivable for a christain that desires to obey God in all things and not just sexual matters

    • Chi February 5, 2016 at 1:16 pm

      This is the best comment i have read on this topic…indeed having sex in a relationship be clouds our judgement and in that we end up hurt when it doesn’t work out and we find it difficult to put it behind us. What being a student of the bible has taught me is that all God says abstain and refrain from is actually for our good. remember He said “For my thoughts towards you are thoughts of peace and not evil, to give u an expected end”.

  • Drknite February 4, 2016 at 7:55 pm

    Amen! Like we give a sh.. about her sex life.

  • just me February 4, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    people get mad when someone declares they are celibate, saying ” they should keep their sex lives private” .yet these same people are busy broadcasting their “sexcapades” all over the internet. i just read a post on bn where ladies were unbashedly describing how they give bj’s and everything in btw. so its ok to tell the world youre having sex but not ok for someone else to state they arent having sex? #crazyworlditis

    • oral issues February 5, 2016 at 12:17 am

      Thank you o! In fact the things I read on that post made me to wonder but I felt each to his own since I don’t want to appear as though I am judging them but I had to warn all those giving blow jobs and putting their mouths in other people’s private parts that there is now a big health hazard that arises from these actions and that is what is called oral cancer, so people should just be informed ( me I am not criticising you but for your own good read up how this actor Michael Douglas informed the world about how he caught oral cancer – thankfully he is now ok). But what pisses me off is when people castigate others who believe in celibacy and feel it is okay to come out and talk about their own sexcapades and want to push it down our throats – that to me is unfair because everyone has a right to believe in what ever they want to stand for.

  • Rose February 4, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    Don’t loose hope hun. I have many male friends who are virgins. The media is not always the full reflection of society. We live in lust crazed society. A lot of lust and not enough sex is what’s really happening.

  • Sara February 4, 2016 at 8:13 pm

    I met a guy recently and he categorically told me. “he can never date” a girl that has a no sex policy. He finds it unfathomable that someone should have that belief. Nways things didn’t work out btw us. Very nasty attitude, his ego was smthn else. because he’s fine and rich, he believes he’s Gods gift to women. They are plenty in dis Lagos, especially if they have small change in dere pocket.

  • Amaka* February 4, 2016 at 8:34 pm

    First it was Russel n ciara,now its Megan n Devon…
    I guess in a world as perverse as America Its ridiculous to call yourself a virgin or stick up for ‘no sex b4 marriage’. She has found her happy place,no one shld berate her for her past…
    Am glad she’s championing this cos its somewhat weird to sync having such a pretty face n being celibate.
    I’ll be 26 soon,hadn’t had sex yet,is it hard?…of cos yes! But that’s me choosing to please my God…
    Don’t judge…

  • Sika February 4, 2016 at 8:49 pm

    I will be having sex before marriage. Please! id rather know what he is working with before i enter a marriage of eternal sexual displeasure. Yes, sex is important in a boo needs to hit it hard… and NO..i am not going to hell because of this…sue me :p

  • Zandyzay February 4, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    @Sara… u ain’t alone in this i have met a lot of them oooo. Two guys I met at different times told me point blank! One’s wife was pregnant when they got married… the other told me he ‘tried’! But sometimes I get scared. I don’t want to end up with an impotent man or someone who will not satisfy me sexually

  • A Real Nigerian February 4, 2016 at 9:04 pm

    With the way you just spoke about your partner in public. One can come to the conclusion that you are a bad person.

  • came to see February 4, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    i celebrate those who so far have commented becos they all advocate for sex after marriage it simply means you guys are bringing in good vibes here,my friend has being pressuring me for 2 good years,to have sex he says it such a long wait but i have made my decision to wait on that special one he must not be flawless but just gud enough to be worth the best i can ever offer him my virginity and pride,it might not mean much to many but me it does. i told him i couldn’t and he’s bein M.I.A since then its painful but am bent on my resolve. consoling myself by saying good riddance to bad cos there must certainly be that one out there HELP ME GOD

    • Ife February 5, 2016 at 12:32 pm

      Hi dear. The best thing you can offer isn’t your virginity. I’m sure there’s a whole lot more to you than just your virginity.

      • Californiabawlar February 6, 2016 at 5:16 am

        Cosigned! How can you say the best thing you can offer is your virginity?! Of all things, virginity that won’t pass 30 seconds to get rid of? Dang girl!! How about your intelligence? Your kind heart? Your problem solving skills? Your spirituality? Your ability to stay strong? Even financial stability and independence??these are things you should want to bring into a union…values that are lasting. I’m not sure why you chose to abstain o but even if it’s as a gift to your partner (who may not be deserving o!)….it’s just that, a gift! Unwrapped and put into use you forget when it was new sef!
        Forget all those fairy tales of husbands ‘forever cherishing’ their wives for their faginity! Ta! Develop yourself o!

  • sunbo February 4, 2016 at 9:39 pm

    Let them write for people that want their lifestyle. Being celibate is a choice as being sexually active. Theres no guarantee for anything. Some people have had so many sexual partners before marriage and 20, 25 years later are still happily married. Some married as virgins and 2 months later, no marriage. Marrying a virgin or sexually active or celibate does not keep a marriage, or give children.

    The only thing I recommend is that for those that sexual history or lack of it matters, let the virgins marry the virgins and the sexually active marry themselves and the celibate marry themselves. That way nobody would feel cheated and every one is on the same page and entering the marriage on equal playing field. There are those that married as virgins and are cheating on their partners while some married with books of past partners and dropped that life after marriage. I dont even understand this fixation on have sex or dont have sex, whether celibate, virgin or sexually active what does that have to do with happiness and long fulfilling committed relationship? I know people marry for different reasons but for a fulfilling and long lasting relationship marriage or relationship, love, mutual understanding and trust is key.

    If you’re thinking of your partners sexual history or non history to be with them, then you should look else where for someone that suits your history instead of making them feel bad about being sexually active, celibate or virgins. I hate when people make all these things a big deal. Some people who were married with kids have divorced, so saying people cannot leave someone because they have being sexual with them doesn’t cut it. Some people dont leave people and bad relationships because their partners are rich or beautiful or have connections. Sex might be hindering some, so can money and beauty etc. Please people should do whatever they want.

    I knew of these couple who both claimed to be celibate other while dating and both were sleeping with other people. They eventually married though. Another one, the girl was a virgin and the man agreed to her terms of no sex before marriage meanwhile he was sleeping with other girls. They eventually got married but he couldn’t break that habit of sleeping around. While they are still married, the lady is a shadow. I’m here like whats the point of all these. Everybody should be honest and stay true to themselves. Don’t do something because you want respect or validation from others ” If I do this, and agree to this he will stay or she will stay or he will respect me more” Do things because its what you believe.

    • LEM February 5, 2016 at 10:38 am

      Best comment so far. Please no one should judge anyone. If you are a virgin, good for you, it is great and worth emulating. However, please and please don’t keep your virginity for a man. Do it for yourself, for God, to avoid STD’s and unwanted pregnancies but NOT FOR A MAN! Reason is you forget that there are other attributes you need to have and continue to fling the ‘i was a virgin’ card for any little thing. Lastly do not judge non-virgin, sexually active people. You don’t know their story or circumstance of being sexually active. Even if they went into it willingly its none of your business. If you decide to marry them (esp virgin men marrying sexually active women) do not use that against her in a fight/argument. Never ever use that against her, if you know you cannot deal with it do not even have a relationship and move on. After all Hosea in the bible was told by God to marry a prostitute, are any of you men better than him? For sexually active people, do what suits you, no judgement but do remember to always protect yourself and do not judge or shame those who decide to be celibate. You chose your path so also did they choose theirs. Do not make them feel bad about it. At the world’s end everyone will answer for their lives individually, God is not going to ask ‘oh ….’A’ so how do you think I should judge..’B’.?’ So basically do YOU

  • Iris February 4, 2016 at 9:42 pm

    The one I don’t get is when two people who have been in a sexual relationship with EACH OTHER get engaged and then do ‘no sex before marriage’ in the name of building anticipation. What’s the point? The virginity has gone, it has gone.
    Anyway I say no to slut shaming, but I also say no to virgin shaming. The ones I have little patience for are those that form sexually emancipated and deep down are doing it in payment for an anticipated ring. What you are is a sexual slave. Emancipate yourself for real.

  • Celibate February 4, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    i have abstained from sex for more than 10 yrs – and I am proud of it. I made my promise to God and I am keeping it until i get married.. Just cos most women are hoes and cant keep their legs closed does not mean all women are like that. I believe the Franklins. The worldly folks just dont like them to be preaching this message – so they will do anything to bring them down.

    men have called me wierd –

    yes i will be wierd for Jesus till i get married. And if because of this i dont get married at least i know i made the sacrifice to God, who sacrifice his son for me..

    everybody is doing it, well I am not EVERYBODY. So until i get married i will keep this tiny waist and big ass to myself.


    • Fasholaslover February 4, 2016 at 10:47 pm

      Holy celibate, you know God cursed some marriages because??? If l read you right, you had sex before deciding to abstain right? So who the f-are you to call other women hoes? What you did before deciding to abstain is called what? Do you and be happy in your decision. The God you claim to so love also says “thou shall not judge……”

    • Corolla February 4, 2016 at 10:58 pm

      Women who choose to have sex before marriage are not hoes, and you choosing to be celibate does not make you a saint.

    • Hmmm February 4, 2016 at 11:03 pm

      If you never marry, I doubt it’ll have little to nothing to do with your celibacy and everything to do with your stank ass attitude. God cursed marriages? Do you purport to speak for him? Gerrarahere with your sanctimonious big yansh and small waist and lollipop head that arrogance has made too big for common sense.

      • Ifeyinwa Mic February 5, 2016 at 6:30 am

        LMAO @stank ass attitude!

    • YESTOTHIS February 4, 2016 at 11:10 pm


    • Sara February 5, 2016 at 12:38 am

      Half Virgin Mary, honestly you should work on ur attitude. It really stinks………….., be ready to increase ur abstinence to 10 more years, bcos with this ur attitude u ain’t finding a man anytime soon.

      • zirah baby loke loke February 5, 2016 at 10:44 am


  • Heather February 4, 2016 at 9:46 pm

    what cracks me up is those who say – I want to test it before i get married. So you are telling – testing it first guarantees you happy every after – Basically (and excuse me to say – YOU ARE CALLING GOD A FOOL AND THAT YOU KNOW BETTER THAN HIM).

    Good Luck to your failed marriage and keep on passing the curse from generation to generation.

  • RightOnTrack February 4, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    What about kissing? Is t also bad when u r dating someone?pls i wanan knw. I’ve been celibate for a year and a half and i’m not going back!!

  • Dr.N February 4, 2016 at 10:34 pm

    I think the media would forget her past if her movie roles and dressing weren’t so……ahem
    That being said, the gospel is being preached whether by pure intent or not
    Pre-marital sex is a trap guys. I plead with y’all, simply say NoO. Find the One and stay faithful. You need to see d James Bond moves I have done to get HIV + men to admit their status to their wives. With girlfriends, I don’t even have leverage.
    Forget stds, let’s talk about unattainable expectations. The more your body count, d more difficult it is to please u sexually.
    “You don’t do me like Aisha”
    “Love me like Okon”
    Can we be real for once guys? If it was all that, why jump from partner to partner every night? I know a guy who doesn’t get aroused except he has threesomes! One day he will marry a hapless girl. After d bella naija wedding, she will find out d bitter truth.
    Another guy I know doesn’t do foreplay. He told his wife, “The sight of me should make u wet enough” Can u beat that? Now my husband and I refer to him as ‘Are u wet?’
    People, no matter how far u have gone, u can retrace your steps. Sometimes I have priviledged info I just wanna shout from d rooftops. Stay healthy guys, this is God’s will for u.

    • kike February 4, 2016 at 11:11 pm

      Hugs coming ur way sista!!!!! Well said

    • nala February 5, 2016 at 12:11 am

      Dr N. Just so you know, I love you- no homo LOL. You always make the most sensible statements. I also know what it’s like to have privileged information and wanting to yell it out when people stay fronting.

    • Omoye February 5, 2016 at 2:44 am

      Loool at the other stuff you said!!
      But I agree with you. I can’t take this woman, and by extension, her husband seriously because she still does not portray what a Christian woman should be. I can’t watch her movies and definitely don’t dress the way she does and most definitely don’t promote visiting night clubs and such worldly things…. and she goes about ‘preaching’…Her husband is supposedly a pastor??? I tire, this new age Christianity is just weird… all in the name of ‘Grace’… Grace is supposed to lead to holiness; believers acting, speaking, thinking heck if possible, walking, breathing, eating, sleeping more like Christ not lifestyles that lead us away from him. But again like you said, the Gospel/Gospel related messages (are) is being preached no matter so…. na dem sabi.

      To all the “celibacy does not guarantee a happy marriage” folks, it is less about you and what you want and more about OBEDIENCE to God, that is the beginning and end of the discussion. Doesn’t matter what you are feeling or thinking, what anyone is saying or doing, our job as Believers is to walk with Christ. Obey Him first and don’t question or think yourself more wise. It’s shameful that Christians are still debating this. This is like Christianity 101, God has so much more He wants us to grow into and we’re still here arguing should I fall into sexual sin or should I not… like grow up please!

  • demashi February 4, 2016 at 10:54 pm

    I and my wife married as virgins but In as much as I advocate celibacy before marriage, I would’t condemn those who have been sexually active. It’s commendable to maintain a no-sex-before-marriage stance but it doesn’t foolproof a future marriage neither does celibacy make a good partner. Relationships go beyond an act of celibacy and religiousity.

  • FAKE February 5, 2016 at 12:27 am

    These people are fake and no role models.. THEY DID HAVE SEX.. PREVIOUSLY.. I THOUGHT THEY WERE VIRGINS… take a walk

  • Me February 5, 2016 at 12:31 am

    When I hear people say they want to have premarital sex because they want to know what he/she is working with or Cuz they don’t wanna be stuck in in a sex less marriage, I’m just smh thinking so what happens if he has erectile dysfunction after marriage? You are not ready to marry if you still have the mindset of must testdrive. Isn’t love accepting he/she flaws and all.
    By the way, A lot of women (more than 30%) can’t have orgasm from coitus only. The guy needs to love you and find creative ways to pleasure you.

    I waited (till I was 25) and I highly recommend waiting but waiting comes with its own challenges and I think the church is not doing a good job addressing the challenges. I hate writing but will see if I can write more on this in the future.

  • God over everything else February 5, 2016 at 12:54 am

    For some that keep saying they have to taste to know if the man is impotent or good in bed.Please God first by saying NO to “premarital sex” and He will take care of your insecurities!Seek God first and all other things will fall into their right place.I just pray God gives us the grace to Obey and seek Him always in our lives. It really pays to serve God and it’s never too late to make things right.He is always willing to accept us.

  • Patsychy February 5, 2016 at 6:21 am

    For those thinking being a virgin guarantees a happy marriage….that’s a lie…then giving him your virginity on your wedding night is no longer a trophy these days….it doesn’t make him not to cheat or behave badly in marriage…Being celibate after a sexual life should be a choice.Obeying Gods injunction about sex before marriage is good but the Christians problem is that most don’t do real courtship before getting married….. meaning u should at least know what u are getting into,ask a lot of questions… for the sexually active before celibacy ones,check his tools if its working too……since the virgins can manage with whatever they get later….Na so my grown aunt was deceived into a marriage by all this church going and keeping rules people of no sex before marriage,after a lavish traditional and white wedding,3mnths later the hubby hasn’t had sex with wifey only for the wife to find out hubby has been In The Closet Gay who is very active in the year later she left him.but had it been she checked well not even having sex with him,but the church rules forbade them.So girls should be very careful of this no sex before marriage although I don’t advise having multiple sex partners all in the name of testing….but ME must definitely look before I leap in between the courtship at least once to know what am getting into to avoid Had I Known.

    • SANTOPS February 5, 2016 at 10:26 am

      @patsychy Marrying a virgin of course can never guarantee a happy marriage, the only person that can is God and the persons involved in the marriage. The issue of testing before marriage is now a major issue most persons use in the defence on the premarital sex issue, the truth is how many persons do you have to sow your seed into all in the name of testing. The fact that you have to test is not a basis for sin. God knows all our heart desires, he’s the one who created sex in the first place , and sex as he created it was meant for marriage, so he knows that every marriage needs sex as a basis. Focus on God and let him lead you, God would never give a bad gift, he only gives good ones. Besides the catholic church upholds the dissolution of marriage on the basis of Impotency before marriage. for more questions on celibacy please visit or Santopsig on Instagram. God bless you.

  • Ifeyinwa Mic February 5, 2016 at 6:40 am

    Can only share my experiences. I am currently celibate. I decided to abstain from sex two years ago and started dating my bf a little over a year ago. We talked about being celibate from the start. I told him that sex wasn’t an option until marriage and he was cool with it because he had been celibate for a few years at that point. We are not virgins but feel that abstaining is the best thing for us. Do I miss sex? Absolutely!! Yes!! So much!! But I love how intimate we are without it. We have been able to connect on a much deeper level than I was ever able to connect with previous boyfriends. Do I ever think that I should sample the goods before marriage (if we make it that far)? Yup! But I don’t because it isn’t worth it. If he’s a terrible lover we’d have plenty of time to work on that…and have fun in the process.

    I think it’s totally possible that this couples and other couples have abstained from sex. Ppl do it for different reasons and I respect their (our) struggle. It’s extremely difficult but I think it’s so worth it. The peace of mind that I have now makes it all worth it.

  • Funke February 5, 2016 at 7:28 am

    This Sex before marriage thing is actually the reason I’m still single. Every guy I have dated just cannot deal with the no Sex thing!. I mean, my boyfriend of 3 months just broke up with me cos this same issue..

    • SANTOPS February 5, 2016 at 10:10 am

      @funke, I really need you to know that your path of celibacy is indeed worthy one. Firstly, for every good decision you make the devil must fight it, It might be through the guys you meet, the battle of your mind and even the temptation of sexual arousal. I just want you to be steadfast in this decision and know that God is with you, the best man for you is yet to come and when he comes I can bet you that you’ll definitely know him. Keep trusting and relying on God for more grace cause its not an easy race. God bless you. For more questions on celibacy you can contact or Santopsig on Instagram, God bless you.

    • madamnk February 5, 2016 at 10:45 am

      you’re meeting the wrong guys. I dated my boyfriend for 3 years before I decided to have sex and he was and still is the most considerable and loving person. we are still together and just got engaged. It also helps if you let them know at the start

      • Ifeyinwa Mic February 5, 2016 at 4:58 pm

        Congrats on the engagement!

  • Keep deceiving yourself February 5, 2016 at 8:43 am

    Girls keep deceiving themselves.

    You have been a sex addict in your active days, now bcos the men sleep with you, leave and dont get committed, you will now come with the HOLY SHIT ” no sex till marriage”. leave trash for lawma…..Tell that to your great grand mother in the grave.

    Dont tell me shit!. After you don phuck all d sweet part finish, you now tell me celibacy. Celibacy ko, Felabration ni.

    As long as you have had sex b4, be it once or twinc (or even in your dreams) you are NO LONGER A VIRGIN. You can stay celibate for 80years, na your cup of tea, doesn’t make you a virgin my dear.

    deal with it!

    • SANTOPS February 5, 2016 at 10:14 am

      @keep deceiving yourself, the fact that someone decides to stay celibate doesn’t mean that he or she is a virgin, It simply means that this person has found a right path and has decided to follow it. For more questions on celibacy, you can contact or Santopsig on Instagram. God bless you.

  • Keep deceiving yourself February 5, 2016 at 8:50 am

    The reason most girls abstain from sex with their new bfs is what she said up there ” I gave up sex because I got tired of being in relationships and getting the same results and I wanted to grow” After dem don test d whole guys finish, when they want to settle down/marry, they will say “till marriage” so that the guy wont run away like the previous ones.

  • adelegirl February 5, 2016 at 8:57 am

    I like how Devon answered the questions. So forthright, without guile, made sure he was clearly understood and didn’t allow their snide remarks goad him, and still managed to remain nonjudgmental of people who choose not to wait before marriage. What resonated within me was what he said about the discipline to overcome the desire for sex. This is so true. If you have the discipline to overcome the desire for sex before marriage especially when you have had sex previously and are a sexual person, then there is really nothing you can’t accomplish.

    Dr. N, I completely agree with everything you have said. It is so heartbreaking that there are men (or women) who will willfully not disclose their HIV+ status to their spouses. Just pure evil.

  • My opinion February 5, 2016 at 9:24 am

    You know it doesn’t matter what,why or where she decided! This is really what society needs now.

    Sex in relationships really does cloud your judgement, is it fun yes. I had sex before marriage and was blessed to marry the only person I had sex with who is in turn my best friend, now this is rarely the case to which I am forever grateful.

    Before I digress,the beautiful thing about having a relationship with God is that he doesn’t mind what your past was about, he just wants us to come as we are

    So like me, if you have had sex before marriage cry out to God for forgiveness,if you are having sex and not married pray for grace from the holy Spirit.

    I pray my future unborn kids will be filled with grace of God to abstain not because the Bible says so and they need to be religious but because they desire a deeper bond with Christ.

    • Ifeyinwa Mic February 5, 2016 at 5:00 pm

      I agree with you. sex before marriage can cloud your judgement.

  • SANTOPS February 5, 2016 at 10:02 am

    @right on track, I won’t say kissing is bad, but what’s the point of building anticipation on something you are not ready to deal with? More like what’s the point of dwelling in a kitchen when you are fasting from food. There’s no point feeding what you don’t want. The Bible says FLEE away from every appearances of Evil.. For any other question on celibacy, you can direct them to or Santopsig on Instagram. God bless you.

  • Bubu February 5, 2016 at 10:17 am

    Mk 9:38. Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory if his Father with the Holy Angels.

    1Cor7:1 -2 Now concerning the things wherefore ye wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2./Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband.

    Pls meditate on these words. Gods word is the standard not mans ability to remain celibate or your will power to stay a virgin.

  • SEEN ALL February 5, 2016 at 11:43 am

    All those saying they would rather test before marriage are crazy tho! for me Sex is not the deal-breaker if I can’t connect with you on a mental and emotional level that’s my deal breaker, my deal breaker is not SEX. As cliché as it sounds sex is meant to be experienced with someone you have a connection with. jumping around from person to person is emotionally draining. I’m saving my energy for greater things.

  • eliya February 5, 2016 at 12:24 pm

    celibacy, celibate celibated celibative celibatively celibating come on all of you, what ever you choose.just don’t do stupid

  • Eli February 5, 2016 at 12:49 pm

    I love this piece! its entertaining and educating. I think its possible in our modern day lives. He made two good points, being celibate is different from abstinence. Its not easy but abeg lets give it a try. The best thing is dont have sex at all cos wen u give in to sex, its really hard to stop it. Sincerly, i love this article and i’ll get the book.

  • prince February 5, 2016 at 1:04 pm

    This is a strong and powerful Topic. but trust me, society has changed many of us. I’m a very young man in my early 30s but had my son when I was 20years and 3weeks old. The challenge is African parents finds it very difficult to discuss sex with their children and I still don’t know why. I’m not married neither I’m I celibate but I think its a good thing to do if you can really trust yourself that much to stay away from sex.
    Like Meagan said, you get the same sh*t all the time. phuk phuk and phuk. what more.

  • flow February 5, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    now most of d sister be claiming celibate…so who has d brothers been f-ing wit?????

  • Excitedly February 5, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    I’ve been reading all the comments and I am wondering if any of you have considered being celibate for life?

    I have and would like to know if there are others out there like me.

    I’ll be turning 40 this year 🙂

  • Bored February 5, 2016 at 2:59 pm

    If your decision to abstain from premarital sex is not based on cultural or religious convictions, I don’t want to hear it. Meagan Good and her phony husband hunting tactics is old and uninspiring. Having or not having sex should not define your relationship.

    oh and since society has made it so that more women than men feel the need to “pure”, I’m never particularly impressed with women who are virgins. Men who are virgins on the otherhand… That’s impressive.

  • DD February 5, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    Been there done that makes you think it’s love and it never is ….brings room for insecurities and just as Dr N has said it all …… its better to just shut your door and get busy with getting better in life and yes you can achieve it and stay locked up till marriage ..I never thought I’ll say this… of years back will say it’s a lie it’s not possible ….but since I joined #TeamCelibate about 3 yes ago I’ve been loving it …I haven’t even had any thought of sex in about 3yrs if not more … sex b4 marriage confuses things, situation and it’s like an illusion especially when you’re not rightful his/hers …..apart from std, there is a spiritual connection ……you have Sex break up and somehow you still have a connection ….Have you ever thought why is that ? If a party starts by 12 midnight what’s the point going to the party at 9pm when it hasn’t started …? You have all the years together why hurry and then get bored when it happens …. comments above saying there are hardly men out there …Trust the ones who love God and show it will show up ….Just be patience ….There is a reason why God gave these commandments to make life easier …..Instead of going and then learning thru yrs of mistakes.when you can just avoid it so life can be sane …..

  • Lonely Girl… February 5, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    I have been celibate for more than a year but my oh my, I visit porn sites. *covers head in shame* . I ask myself what if the trumpet comes what where would I be. Truth is if am in a relationship, I may still watch as I dont want any guy between me till I say I do… 🙁

  • Abena February 5, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    I completely agree with their views because if many people follow this God will lead them to the right path regardless of what life throws at you.

  • God is faithful. February 5, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    I’ve been celibate/abstained from sex, kissing, any kind of touch, for 18 years. No regrets on that. Will remain so by the special grace of Almighty God till I am married.

  • Nkem February 5, 2016 at 11:07 pm

    Gbam!God bless you dear

  • LondonBae February 6, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    There is nothing wrong with these two sharing their experience especially in a world where the standard of moral s have been distorted. Celibacy or being a virgin is not a command for women alone, so I am not sure what the fascination is about women being virgins.
    I have been celibate for over 2 years after living a wild life for years….This decision was made after I decided to let God in my life. I did not even consider being married till recently so the reason for celibacy was entirely to obey God in accordance with Romans 12:1-2 and 2 Tim 2:22. I am in my late 2os and can not say that it has been easy but with God it will be easy. To go the extra mile I refuse to entertain any kind of kissing or physical contact. I believe when it is the right person, God will let me know. My life has certainly been easy relationship wise, BUT no connection means you can walk away with ease, no time for time wasters!!!

  • wendy elenwo February 6, 2016 at 4:34 pm

    Celibacy is one of the least talked about topics in this generation….but it should be talked about on regular basis,it has been in the dark now its come to light..we shouldn’t let the growing ones suffer lack of knowledge like we did..”Cinderella didn’t have to take off her cloths to get prince charming” we single ladies don’t have to,going celibate brings you closer to God makes you more focused and take better decisions about your life and who you really want in it…i did rather lose a boyfriend Tha lose God in my life,going celibate ain’t the end of the world it will turn out to be the best choice you have ever made….good book cant wait to have mine!!!

  • Fs February 20, 2016 at 7:26 am

    Yall need to stop. She had plenty of sex before marriage just not with him. When she was ready to settle down she transforned herself to meet an unitiated good catch’s moral standing. Women know the truth. Nice marketing idea though. She is roundly adored by many …. still amazed he didnt call her on that half nakedness at the gospel awards…talk about making wickedness fair seeming.

  • Chinenye May 9, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    Does anybody know where i can get this book in Nigeria?

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