Mother’s Day 2016: BellaNaijarian Kachi Writes Loving Ode To the Three Mothers Who Raised Her

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LL.M graduation, 2013… Bet you can’t tell who is who

She often told the story of her being in labour. With her first child. She had perfectly manicured ‘stiletto’ nails, polished bright red. When the contractions hit, she’ll stretch her hands in front of her and wriggle a little. One of the nurses said ‘Madam you are not in pain. When you really are, you’ll bite off those nails’. I don’t remember how this story ended, but I was always in awe of my mum’s nails. She could also polish her right fingers with her left. More awe.

I also remember the first time I discovered her mascara. I had no clue what it was and I tried to write with it. Mary Kay makeup, Pleated Skirts, Culottes and Waisted Belts were her thing. She didn’t understand straight or bodycon clothes. My mum was really the first fashionable woman I knew. Her friends called her ‘Ochomma’ and ‘Nlecha’. Igbo words for Fashionista. Too bad I didn’t inherit those traits. I’m into Culottes now though. Such freedom! But she warns that wearing free clothes may make me fat.

Her best friend, has really nice feet. I kinda have a thing for nice feet. In Aunty M’s house, I was content. Gosh. I never wanted to leave. This is the reason I can’t dance. While the other kids were rocking to Notorious B.I.Gs ‘Biggie Biggie Biggie’ I was under the duvet in a library full of Enid Blyton books. I read them all. Mr Stampabout, Famous Five, Secret Seven, and Mallory Towers. And then when I got older, Danielle Steel. Aunty M often took us to Ikoyi Club. We were not members. But she and her kids were. So she ‘snuck’ my mum’s kids in by saying “Yes all 6 of them are my kids” And oh yes we were! Getting ice cream from NewYorkers and Pintos also became part of our routine when she picked us all from school. In the Station Wagon that could take all 6 kids – 4 of hers, my brother and I. I remember when I once told my mum I wanted to sleep in her house and not go home. I was caned. How dare you prefer someone’s house to yours? Her kids made my childhood. We honestly had the best times. Going to the same primary school, we introduced ourselves as Cousins. Family Friends didn’t capture it.

Aunty M didn’t like us calling her Aunty M. She thought it was rude to call her by her first name. African parents. So she said we should call her A’s Mummy. Funny how I also share the same first and middle name with Aunty M’s daughter. I was OJG, she was OJD. Weird I know. Obviously my mum copied Aunty M, because her daughter is older. I often thought as a child ‘what if I marry her brother and she marries mine?’. Then we’d have swapped names… I would have become OJD and her OJG. Too bad fate didn’t feel my sense of humour.

There was also my god-mother. Co-incidentally, she’s also Aunty M (Let’s call her 2nd Aunty M) . My mum’s sister. She didn’t mind us calling her Aunty M. When I remember my childhood memories at hers, I remember Sardines. Titus sardines. In Oil. With red tins. Only in her house have I ever seen a full carton of those. There were probably 90 tins in a carton. Once we arrived at hers, we must have sardine and butter sandwich. And 2nd Aunty M? Goodness. World’s Greatest Praiser (and Exaggerator of Good news). Anyone who knew her had to know that her god-daughter, had two first classes and often had the best result in school. Except that she’ll say it was the best result in the country.

I’ve grown up with these three strong women by my side. For 27 years, I’ve seen their struggles, their tears and their victories. I’ve seen them pursue their degrees as adults. As a matter of fact, 2nd Aunty M, being one of the oldest in her class in Unilag, still topped the class in first year. I’ve seen them undertake various businesses. I’ve seen them pregnant, have kids and train their kids. School runs, Market trips, Church duties, Husband duties, Home keepers. The whole shebang.

I’ve shared their laughter. I’ve never seen people who talk for so long on the phone. There’s always something to laugh about. And not those fake laughter or ‘Lols’ that dominate today’s conversations. No, these lot don’t do those. They laugh from their belly. Weekends were not complete without a visit to or from them. Someone must call to say ‘Any beta for your side?’

I’ve also borne the brunt of their tease. From the age of growing boobs to boy talk. These mostly came from the two Aunty Ms. My mum was too shy for such talk. She still is.

I was never one to say my Mum’s food was the best. My mum’s food was amazing! But Aunty M’s threw it down in the kitchen as well.

I’ve learnt way too many lessons from these three. They personify Strength. Support. Sharing. Perseverance. Friendship. I can’t list all, but here’s some takeaways:

• Yes to New Friends: My mom met her best friend after marriage. They were neighbours. 30 years on, and still going.

• No Ethnic Barriers: My mom’s best friend isn’t Igbo. Her husband is though. My mum taught her to make Igbo soups and they converse in English and Pidgin. Free your mind from ethnic sentiments.

• What social class?: These three were not always in the same social class. The Aunty M’s were richer than us. In fact my sister and I often wore OJD’s hand-me-downs. But it didn’t matter.

I have so many many memories with these three! Incredibly good memories. And I could not be who I am today without them!

Happy Mother’s Day! (Don’t worry I’ll still call you on the Nigerian Mother’s Day, and the Catholic one as well… Phew)
Thank you for all you’ve ever done… May your reward be here on Earth.
Love,
Onyii (because you guys don’t call me Kachi)

P.S
I really wanted to buy them gifts and you know ‘oyibo things’, but they always say, ‘Keep your money, how much do you have so much’. So this is the least I could do.
________________________________________________________________________
Kachi. Igbo Girl. Yoruba Wife.
Even with two first class Law degrees, a Cambridge LL.M and being a Lawyer in the City (Biggest law firm in the world they say), I’ve realised that there’s more to life than Law. So I finally decided to crawl out of my shell and listen to the voice in my head. It’s been a month of blogging on Love, Life & Law (No fashion or makeup don’t worry)! I have an unhealthy love for punctuation marks and intentionally overuse them especially ellipsis… (brackets) and exclamation marks!
You may read my blog HERE and maybe follow me on Twitter @KacheeTee (adding to the 14 followers I’ve had since 2009)…

43 Comments on Mother’s Day 2016: BellaNaijarian Kachi Writes Loving Ode To the Three Mothers Who Raised Her
  • Wuggy March 6, 2016 at 10:38 am

    Lovely!

  • Chi March 6, 2016 at 10:41 am

    3 mothers? You are blessed!!!

  • Tomi March 6, 2016 at 10:44 am

    I had a smile on my face all through! What will the world be without them? God bless all mothers

  • lotanna March 6, 2016 at 10:55 am

    Every post in your blog always feels more exciting I really love this post. Cheers to our mothers

    • Abigail March 7, 2016 at 11:55 am

      Yes Of course I a m also fan of the palace for blog poscset idea’s and information. On other side clothingric.com/mothers-day have Mother Day great post and idea’s you may love.

  • na me be gfirst March 6, 2016 at 11:00 am

    cool write up
    ##FIRST TO COMNENT YAAAA!!

  • divora March 6, 2016 at 11:09 am

    Kachi I love ur Ode,u didn’t show us ur biological mum.bt how come u hav just 14 followers since 2009..lol

  • Celeste March 6, 2016 at 11:20 am

    May their reward be not only here on earth but also in heaven… Happy mother’s day to all our beautiful moms!

    • Kachi March 6, 2016 at 6:56 pm

      Amen! I’m sure their reward is in heaven. But I hope they get some slices here on earth…

  • girlwithalbinorelatives March 6, 2016 at 11:20 am

    Awww!!! Kach Kach!! well done.

  • AJB March 6, 2016 at 11:27 am

    Nice write up. God bless my mum!

  • karen March 6, 2016 at 11:41 am

    This is such a great story!I barely remember some of the stories though probably because I was too young or not yet born!but mommy and the two Aunty M’s are extraordinary mothers and friends..Happy mothers day moms! !

    • Kachi March 6, 2016 at 6:55 pm

      Haha! Smallie you were not born of course….

  • Chifairy March 6, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    Nice one Onyekachi, happy mother’s day to all the moms out there. Btw her mom is the one in middle*ever young*

  • Avon March 6, 2016 at 12:33 pm

    I enjoyed every sentence Kachee. Don’t stop writing please. As for me and my childhood with mum, i remember mostly the steady beatings and Sunday Icecream after church( Fan yogo, jamil and the rest.)

    • Kachi March 6, 2016 at 6:54 pm

      Thanks Avon! I think the icecream after church began when we where much older. Fan Yogo and Super Yogo. Lol!

  • ann March 6, 2016 at 12:45 pm

    Love the piece, it was so down to earth. God bless the 3 mothers

  • Las March 6, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    You write beautifully. Thank you so much for sharing this. I actually got a little teary-eyed reading your write-up.
    May God bless all your mothers and may you do more than they did.

    • Tell me March 6, 2016 at 3:24 pm

      I literally shed a tear or 2, ok maybe 3! well done Kachee well done. Happy Mothers’ day to my Amazon! mom I love you. and to all moms out there, keep giving your love!

      • Kachi March 6, 2016 at 6:52 pm

        Haha!! 3 tears isn’t too bad don’t worry…Thank you!

  • Kate Okoh March 6, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    Awww my Kachitos! Lovely write up….

  • Modupe Ogundare March 6, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    You have a way with words that invites one in and makes one feel right at home… Thanks for taking me on that journey of appreciation. I’m also punctuations crazy, and trying not to overdo sometimes seems like such a difficult thing to do.

    Happy Mother’s Day all!

    • Kachi March 6, 2016 at 6:51 pm

      Love love Punctuations! We need to be careful in formal writing though… Thank you Modupe!

  • Cynical March 6, 2016 at 3:52 pm

    Awwwww,,,,…this story just made my heart swell.
    Happy Mother’s Day to all the awesome mothers. Honestly the work you all do only God can bless you abundantly.
    To all the mothers who are grieving at this point after the loss of one of their children,I pray especially for my mum,I pray for Gods healing and consolation.
    And as I read Kachy’ s story………u go girl,two first class law degrees……I pray we shall always have cause to be proud of our kids.
    God bless us all and help us especially during the tough times.

  • Lateefah March 6, 2016 at 4:35 pm

    Great write up! I wish you didn’t stop. Please don’t stop writing. I’m not on twitter but would sign up because of you. I’m hoping to be your 15th follower

    • Kachi March 6, 2016 at 6:49 pm

      Awww! Thanks Lateefah… I never got the hand of Twitter, but I think I am now….

  • Lateefah March 6, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    Oops! Happy mother’s day

  • Dr. N March 6, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    Very nice

  • slice March 6, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    Thank you 🙂

  • kiky March 6, 2016 at 6:32 pm

    Yayyyy Kachi!! Amazing write up as usual.

  • Kachi March 6, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    Thank you SO much everyone, and Happy Mothers Day to all the amazing mothers out there! Xx

  • dahdi k March 6, 2016 at 8:00 pm

    I still remembered vividly how it began…….super chic well done coz.

  • Tanaka March 6, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    Awesome write-up as always Kachi! You have a way with words & paint such beautiful pictures with your narrative. Happy Mother’s Day to your beautiful mums!

    • Kachi March 7, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      Thank you Tanaka! That photoshoot was everything and some. Xx

  • ‘Kem March 7, 2016 at 8:51 am

    Kachic!
    I always knew you’d be wonderful and great all at the same time. You topped it and became awesome too! This is my first comment ever on BN and its for you.
    Here’s to more write-ups from you that would take our breath away. Cheers!
    #YouKnowWhoThisIs #OnlyOnePersonCallsYouKachic

    • Kachi March 7, 2016 at 2:00 pm

      Kem!! I’m so flattered. You’re gonna make me cry. Thank you so much!

  • The real dee March 7, 2016 at 9:19 am

    Kachi the ‘Efico’. Kachi, the efico I have admired from afar. I once stalked you on facebook… ? I’m female o! So my stalking was for ‘Who is this Kachi? ‘ purposes only.
    I wanted to know this girl that became the best female student in Law school. Unfortunately, we were not in the same Law school campus. My friend who was in your campus kept gushing about one Kachi girl who he was (or maybe still is) friends with. I began to wish I was posted to your campus.

    Enough of my #secretofthesands story. ?

    Your article was so descriptive, I could imagine the events in my head. You have a new blog visitor. *HIGH FIVE*
    Now you would make me start stalking you again Kachi. I guess City means NYC, so I’m not far from you so maybe I’ll finally meet this world acclaimed Kachi. ?

    • The real dee March 7, 2016 at 9:54 am

      Oops! City is somewhere in London or somewhere in the UK I guess. So I shall not be meeting Kachi anytime soon,.? I guess I’ll spend the night reading through your blog. Guys, visit her blog, she’s got very interesting stories.

      • Kachi March 7, 2016 at 1:59 pm

        Aww don’t worry! I’ve never been to the US, but I really hope I can do so this year, and we might be able to meet up! *fingers crossed*Let’s connect on Twitter please. Lool! @ SecretoftheSands story… You just brought back memories of that show. I loved it!

  • zarah baby loke loke March 7, 2016 at 11:42 am

    I’m here struggling to finish with a 2’2 in law
    You are my new role model.
    Y am I not ur younger sis oh.
    Regardless to mum and aunty ms
    God bless

    • Kachi March 7, 2016 at 1:55 pm

      Hi Zarah!
      Try to at least get that 2’2. But don’t worry, that won’t define your successes going forward. My friend had a 2’2, and went on to get a First Class from Law School, and obviously great things followed after that. Lool! My younger sister didn’t have a first class either, but I’m happy to give you tips that may be helpful for law school. You can contact me via my blog. All the best! Xx

  • Ike March 9, 2016 at 3:50 am

    ? my heart is double its size with pride!

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