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Sent From My BlackBerry: The Nollywood Yoruba Edition

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Anyone who knows me or is on my BlackBerry will assume I am a big fan of the Yoruba section of Nollywood. It’s fine, I don’t begrudge that. This is because more often than not, my BBM display picture is one snapshot of a Yoruba scene or the other.

You see, the real story is that I am usually an innocent bystander. How do I mean? I am not a BIG TV person – I do not have so much time on my hands, so keeping up with shows is a hassle. Since no one cares that I watch Nollywood movies by association, I’ll just move right along.

Dear friends, a long while ago, Yoruba movies were safe (repeat after me, SAFE) — in the time of Koto Orun, Ori Ade, Larinloodu and the like. Then someone chose to go ‘international’ by adding sub-titles to Yoruba movies.

While I am a big fan of thinking out of the box, I always advocate for keeping it simple. You first crawl as a baby before you start to fly at night, I always say.

In any case, I never used to look at the sub-titles, because I have no problems with my ears. Until one day a particular subtitle literally jumped out at me, something like this:

"Let be Happy, the deal is strucked!"

YES, I was STUNNED. LI-TER-ALLY. I froze. I couldn’t bring myself to watch the rest of the movie. Of course, I thought it was a singular occurence. So I shared it with a couple of my friends over bbm, this was how I got inducted into the ‘academy’. Here’s my own way of introducing you as well.

"Why did Chief acted this way"

"I went to the doctor, and I was discover 6 weeks pregnancy"

and here:

"Do you know he came home with a first class upper"

In my head, every time I see this particular one, I imagine that an ominous soundtrack (Something like GHEN-GHEN) plays right after she says her bit:

"I SHOULD ABORTION?"

Shout-out to Seyi Omisore for this one:

"I've came to my senses, no more sharing"

Another shout-out to Motunrayo Otun for sharing this one with me:

"You now sheet on me because of my poor status"

These ones I captured myself.

"I brought it because it's your favorite and you were absence at the party"

"The world is light up with the break of day. Owner of the world, open up the girls machinations"

This last one still has me confused and totally bummed on where to start with is. Maybe you can help me.

You will note however, that I don’t go out of my way to ‘find’ these heart-wrenching blunders. They come to me. Like they literally stand out.

In case you’re looking for where to get such movies asides watching them on Africa Magic Yoruba. You can rent here:

Looks like you can also rent/buy underwear, should you ever fall short of such.

On that note dear friends, I’m saying, A bien tot!

Happy New Month! And catch y’all in the next one

Song Of The Month: Kanye West Feat. PHCN All StarsOFF ALL THE LIGHTS

71 Comments

  1. TAMA

    June 1, 2011 at 8:36 am

    nice one ….

  2. T

    June 1, 2011 at 8:41 am

    I love this…..me and my friends always laugh at this …..but its not so funny anymore…its 2011 and they cant edit and spell check before releasing these videos? smh

    • dayinai

      June 1, 2011 at 8:14 pm

      Editing would consume money and waste time, so they would rather leave it the way it is and let the poor viewers suffer unnecessary grammatical migraine.

  3. moi

    June 1, 2011 at 8:43 am

    First!!!!!

    • TAMA

      June 1, 2011 at 9:05 am

      naaa am FIRST!!!!! LOLLLL

  4. Fab junkie

    June 1, 2011 at 8:45 am

    I”m dying of laughter o. I notice these blunders too but believe me i never knew it was this bad until I read this stuff. They should scrap d subtitles jare.
    Meanwhile, u got me laughing out loud all bymyself in the office, now they think I’m crazy.
    http://www.fabuloucityjunkies.com

    • i know i know

      June 1, 2011 at 12:06 pm

      me too oh ma dear. Couldnt hold the laughter but i dont think they should scrap it, they should just take into consideration that thier work is going international and not limited to house wives who cant read anymore. they should put concious effort in editing thier work before selling it to the masses. On the whole i think this is just a pathetic reflection on nigierias customer service as a whole. We complain but no measure is taken to correct the mistakes. how sad.

    • Justhere

      June 3, 2011 at 11:11 pm

      Honey, if you trying to correct someone else’s mistakes………..try to proofread your comment too cuz u making hella errors on this.

  5. Ima

    June 1, 2011 at 8:47 am

    This had me giggling all morning. Great way to start the month. Happy new month you all…or should that have been “appied new month you hall” 🙂

  6. Mememe

    June 1, 2011 at 8:59 am

    LOL @ The song of the month

  7. FASHION

    June 1, 2011 at 9:02 am

    I still love these movies!! Lol

  8. Efe

    June 1, 2011 at 9:03 am

    LWKMD……LOL!

  9. MumyZee

    June 1, 2011 at 9:22 am

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha..ori mi ooo..

  10. Tiki

    June 1, 2011 at 9:26 am

    ROTFLMBAO! Thought those subtitles upset just me…please, if English has defeated you then stick to Yoruba and leave sub-titles alone!

  11. emjay

    June 1, 2011 at 9:28 am

    “YORUBA MOVING” , ROTFLMHO! THIS IS HILARIOUS! anyway that was y i stopped watching yoruba “moving’ as the subtitles are either wrong or too short to mean all that has been said or just deceptive. HAD A GOOD LAUGH THOUGH!

  12. cohan

    June 1, 2011 at 9:35 am

    Lmaoooo,this just made my day yo,jibola u were so wrong for this

  13. HRS OLUBUSOLA

    June 1, 2011 at 9:49 am

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had all my colleagues gather round me to read them together, crzy! Itell u!….. Still trying to interpret that last one too!

  14. Reformerinformant

    June 1, 2011 at 9:59 am

    God bless Knolliwood. aahahaaa! Afi oyinbo fon na…

  15. 'Tunde

    June 1, 2011 at 10:00 am

    OMG JIBOLA LAWAL YOU ARE A MAD MAN FOR THIS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  16. oma-peduru

    June 1, 2011 at 10:00 am

    i cant shouted oooo, una no go kill me. they should try to get good editors or do i say educated editors to proof read their interpretations

  17. Karimah

    June 1, 2011 at 10:07 am

    When I watch the movies which is like once in a blue moon, I just ignore the subtitles… They can kee u

  18. la!

    June 1, 2011 at 10:08 am

    Nice one jibs!

  19. AeeDeeAee

    June 1, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Buhahhahahhahahahaahahahhahahahahhahhhahahhahahahaahha….(To be “continue”)

  20. Peace!PEACE!!

    June 1, 2011 at 10:35 am

    Hehehehe!!!!Yoruba movies are in a class all by themselves. At a stage when others are upping their game, the yoruba film industry is just lowering theirs at a consistent rate! I think instead of laughing at them we should look for ways of helping them. I cant lie I would rather watch yoruba movies than english ones anyday, anytime! The messages are much clearer although the interpretation of these messages needs to be edited for non yoruba speakers!
    Fact of the Day:
    Did you know yoruba movies started acting out porn movies like 9 years ago? Have you heard of “omo empire” BREAking grounds…

    • Ready

      June 1, 2011 at 7:39 pm

      I agree. We should definitely help them; that’s why I plan to have 2 jobs when I move back to Naij. One of those jobs will be as a translator of Yoruba movies’ transcripts…seriously, I should get a Nobel Peace Prize because I know I’ll be saving millions of lives from all the ‘tabon’-ing.

  21. olly

    June 1, 2011 at 10:48 am

    I think reading the subtitles is my favourite part to watching 9ja muvi’s these days

  22. sanmi

    June 1, 2011 at 10:59 am

    dont you no oyinbo is no easy, espetialy wen spelin and gramatikal accurasy involved.But kiaful, next time, add a disclaimer to ur post in case someone drops while laughing.lolol

  23. Uchechi

    June 1, 2011 at 11:13 am

    LWKMD!!

  24. Zuriel

    June 1, 2011 at 11:17 am

    LMfAO!!!
    #NowUsingAnInhalerAndStillLaughingHard!
    This is ssooo Hilarious!

  25. toyk

    June 1, 2011 at 11:22 am

    hahahaha,i have seen very large words used in these subtitles like Brouhaha, Paradigm, Annotation et al

  26. dewowo

    June 1, 2011 at 11:26 am

    lmao – rolling on the floor laughing & coughing all @ the same time (my boss needs an explanation)

  27. crystal

    June 1, 2011 at 11:28 am

    nice one,i hope those dt subtitle like this see this write up.i guess this is why wen am watching yoruba videos my frnds tell me “‘u wont enjoy it as much u would av if u undastood yoruba language”.lets show case 9ja well o and stop using pidgin in d name of translating.its nt by force dt u must use english language,if u r nt sure of english language,use pidgin,u can neva go wrong wit pidgin,lol.

  28. GOLD

    June 1, 2011 at 11:30 am

    #DEAD#…….BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! dis is d height…OMG!!!

  29. jeigold

    June 1, 2011 at 11:33 am

    dat last one killed me….. da hell is “machinations”?

  30. Virgos Very Own

    June 1, 2011 at 11:34 am

    lmaoo

  31. WaleCardinal

    June 1, 2011 at 11:39 am

    Lmfao! “I should abortion?” Nice one!

  32. seun

    June 1, 2011 at 11:47 am

    Just to think ppl actually claim to be editors and directors..
    Don’t understand d use of english in yoruba movies..
    “Like you are looking something in the up” line in a yoruba movie

  33. D

    June 1, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    Jibola, you & the people that got the screen captures, need help!

  34. Lue

    June 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    assssssssssssssssssss………..innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn?……………………..chai!!!!! laugh wan cripple me. seriously?…………….Jibola, God bless u marvelously for this. My sis hates Yoruba movies but she sits down and reads the subtitles out loud and all of us will laugh till we cry.infact, these ones are just d small ones………abeg……………..i no fit die sha cos na bullet dem dey shoot

  35. IRIAWOTUBO

    June 1, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    YORUBA MOVING IS VERY INTERESTED. IT IS MY FAVOURITEST MOVING. IT MADE MY ENGLISH THIS GOOOOOD*WINK*

  36. rosebud

    June 1, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    lol.they shouldn’t scrap subtitles.instead they should get qualified translators.people like me cant rily hear yoruba and i love to watch the movies so they should just up their game

  37. kiz

    June 1, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    am all cracked up……..but this is a serious issue, what ever happened to proof reading?

  38. Plumbline

    June 1, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    Although they work on very low budgets, that doesn’t give them an excuse to hire an Editor…someone pls tell them it won’t cost an Arm and a Leg…the sad part is that there are well educated actors/actresses who have these ‘Gbagauns’ done on their behalves who would have expressed the same words in English…but that FIRST CLASS UPPER daze me o! that should not be the editor’s fault o…
    Well, like I said earlier, Jibola, wahala lo nwa..lol

  39. Myne Whitman

    June 1, 2011 at 4:05 pm

    OMG, You got me rolling here. I don’t watch Yoruba Nollywood so this is like a baptism by fire! LWKMD

  40. Richard Adeolu

    June 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    As funny as this looks, its truly sad. This is the state of our education today! Its not only about the subtitle of the Nollywood films, but the quality as well. Sometimes I wonder if the producers ever even have a quality control of their products.
    Its high time we learn as a nation that having a good quality control of our products is essential to growth!..
    Ire o

  41. Sick_Sage

    June 1, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    Jisox! LMFAO, wtf is females machinations? Haha, I haff laff

  42. Gregg

    June 1, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    LOL….Jibola you’re nuts, somehow I actually thought you watched them a lot good thing you cleared the air here. Me I suggest they subtitle in pidgin, with that they can’t go wrong. That said, I’m sure its cos of people like me they ‘struggle’ to post Ingilis subtitles, sadly I don’t still watch ’em 😀

  43. Beverly

    June 1, 2011 at 5:29 pm

    The last one should have been captioned ‘incantation’ but I guess someone just had to do his job and go the extra mile. The subtitles have been killing me softly for over 10 years. I guess when you take your film/reel to the roadside “uncle, make I work am” editor, you get what you pay for. I remember being in a studio in Uyo and I felt sad for a couple who were going to receive their wedding video disfigured with real bad Micheal Jackson typos from the simple ‘boy wed girl’ to ‘hapy clerabation’.
    In Naija last year, on African Magic I saw the subtitle in a music video taken from a movie go from ‘get out’ to ‘F*^k you’ for the exact same verse of a song. And it aired quite often.

  44. Vicki

    June 1, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    Lord Have Mercy. “Yoruba MOVING”?????

  45. Mide

    June 1, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    Lmfao!!!! loool @ “Dear friends, a long while ago, Yoruba movies were safe (repeat after me, SAFE) — in the time of Koto Orun, Ori Ade, Larinloodu” ….”machinations or imaginations?” m so confused!……tis ridiculous..whatever happened to getting certified translators..m sure they can hire new ones naw…it is well!!

  46. Mary007

    June 1, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    Hehehehehehehehhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee rolling on the floor

  47. Iwa

    June 1, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    You have some nerve criticizing other people’s use of English language; case in point “sub-titles” and “A bien tot”. Anyway, this problem is not unique to Yoruba movies but I guess because it is written, it makes it more noticeable. Pay more attention to the English sector and you will realize what I am talking about. I once heard a very popular actor say “putted” as past tense of “put”.

  48. precious naijagurl

    June 1, 2011 at 11:29 pm

    cant stop … itz actually annoyed … wat is actually d job of d editor ???

  49. precious naijagurl

    June 1, 2011 at 11:30 pm

    cant stop laughing annoyed actually wat is d job of d editor actually

  50. Jaydyh

    June 1, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    MOVING! Slay them!

  51. Ngum

    June 2, 2011 at 12:15 am

    Bella, I beg, if I die, them dey put ur name for death certificate as my killer oh. LOLest!

  52. Vernacular

    June 2, 2011 at 12:34 am

    I admire Yoruba movies for trying to promote the language by making the dialogue itself Yoruba and using rich proverbs. Movies like Omo Ghetto and Jenifa come to mind. Game shows of the past like Tan Mu O did well even though I did not understand a word.

    But I have a problem with the translation in some of these Yoruba movies. I know Yoruba people are quite chatty, but please explain how in a movie dialogue, an actor speaking Yoruba would rant for about 4 minutes saying something like ‘Ni to ri na, mo fe ka wa lo si ile to gba lo si ya agba tori kpe…”

    But the translation would be a very short sentence “Ok we will see later”

    I tire oh.

    http://woahnigeria.wordpress.com/2011/04/25/a-letter-to-our-president-and-his-wife-too/

  53. fashionconscious

    June 2, 2011 at 12:41 am

    Looooooool!!!!! Gbagaaaaaaaaaaaun! Hilarious! *owner of the world…………….bla bla bla! Big ups Jibs, I’m on your bbm and every time I see youe Dp, I just lol! What arefreshing write-up!

  54. Cece

    June 2, 2011 at 1:54 am

    OMG! I can’t believe I had to wait all day to read this! LMSTO!!! What kind of misbehaviour is all this?! My mother is addicted to the channel oh!

  55. Ginika

    June 2, 2011 at 4:53 am

    I tell you, its not hard to find these. I am not yoruba and don’t understand it at all so I like to read the subtitles. I once tried to watch one recently -cus you know, they have interesting storylines- anyway, I know I don’t understand the lingo but what I was reading got me confused in some places. As much as you guys say scrap it, I say please don’t for people like me. I had to put two and two together to figure out what they were saying.

  56. Toss

    June 2, 2011 at 10:30 am

    cant stop laughing…nw I av headache ooohh…hehehehehehehehe…yeahhhhhh

  57. Aibee

    June 2, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Laff Wan Tear My Belle! This is so hillarious. Well done Jibola. The mis-ducation in the Movings are even worse! Remember Jenifa Part 1, where the doctor is telling Sulia she has HIV/AIDS? He tells her that it’s STDs/STIs that advance to become HIV/AIDS. Smh!
    I hope someone from Knolliwood reads this and starts to effect some changes. I watched a movie in one dialect from Akwa Ibom (I think it was Ibibio) some weeks ago on AfMag and the movie didn’t fare any better.

  58. dingdong

    June 2, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    ROTFLMAO…lyk whattt????????? They need to get correct pple to help with subtitling or jst scrap subtitles…

  59. ene

    June 3, 2011 at 1:40 am

    hahahahahahaahahahahahahaha, i don’t ever bother watching them in the first place.

  60. amasha

    June 14, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    Lwkmd

  61. olowojoba sarah

    June 22, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    buhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  62. SkinnyGeek

    July 1, 2011 at 11:45 am

    BuaHaaHaHahaha!!! *wipes teaRs* hAhaha. Lmao in every sense of the acronym. “The deal is strucked” Lmao again.

  63. Seyifunmi

    July 1, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    JibolaL…. U HAVE MAD FINISH! Dem Dp’s have finally come in handy. “English Moving tho”?… That killed me. Welldone hunnie *wink*

  64. word!

    July 1, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah…………..i did not read this post before but read the one for July and had to see that of June………….
    This is too crazy!!!!!!!!!OMG……….*Rolling on the floor!!

  65. dlloyd

    July 4, 2011 at 11:49 am

    Yoruba movies rule all d same

  66. didy

    August 4, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    cant stop laughing,ope i dont get fired.my boss thinks am ……..

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