Oh My Goodness! I’m Getting Older and My Life Is About To End


I’ve been told that when women turn 30 they go through an emotional roller-coaster. Even more when they’re single, I’m told that a whole lot of soul-searching takes place and self-analysis goes on. It doesn’t really help that there’s an unspoken rule you’re not supposed to be active on Social Media. I didn’t get the memo. So when I turned 30, I looked at my past, grateful for my life, thankful for my mistakes and optimistic about the future. None of that sober reflection and moodiness to go with it! However, it got me thinking about growing up and the changes that come with it. I mean when you’re younger you feel the world is your oyster and there is no limit to the where you can go or what you can do. However, as you grow older, there are expectations and unspoken restrictions. It feels like as you grow older it’s the beginning of the end of your life.  Why is it that I get the vibe that when one hits 40 it’s the end of one’s social life as one knows it. In the last two weeks I have attended two events that showed me that there is hope in the horizon.

Call it preparing for the future or whatever but when I got invited to the Champagne Jazz event organized by the African Heritage Group and the 1662 Cafe & Bar I hurriedly wore my dress and attended. It was a beautiful evening of champagne, jazz and complimentary canapes!

As I nursed my flute, letting the music flow through me, I pondered on the crowd. It wasn’t your regular demographic of people. This was clearly music for ‘grown folk’. I have always assumed that the bulk of events for older folk was just owambes. Birthday parties of their friends, birthday parties of their friends’ children and let’s not forget the weddings and the wedding anniversaries.  It felt like there was a life of monotony looming ahead in the next decade of my existence.

So when I had the pleasure of attending this event it was refreshingly different. It was an evening of simplicity properly blended with the right amount of networking and the taste. It was an insight into a certain taste in music or events in general. It was an amazing discovery! Nigerians actually like this sort of things.

As if to buttress my discovery, I had an amazing time at the Smooth Fm Love Music, Love Life Luxury Concert with 10-time Grammy award winner, George Benson and Nigeria’s talented masked saxophonist, Lagbaja.

The event which was scheduled for 7pm started a little later than that, but it was a beautiful evening. Lagbaja worked his magic with the saxophone and it was pure bliss. The hall was a little sparse at the beginning of the show but as the evening wore on the room began to fill up. Distinguished ladies and gentlemen from different walks of life strolled in with a spring in their step determined to enjoy an evening with their favorite classics.

When George Benson was introduced, the crowd let out thunderous applause. It was only the beginning. As he began to strum his guitar, all I could think of was “Smooth Jazz!”. When he played the initial notes of “Give Me The Night” the hall went crazy! CEOs were dancing and singing along to some of their favorite songs.

There was no barrier or limitation. Everybody dispensed with the idea of stiffness and got to moving from left to right and singing along. 50-year old women were stepping like never before and the ease with which everyone left sorrow at the door lose themselves in the world created by music was simply beautiful.

For people like me who didn’t know the lyrics to all the songs, I was just happy to chop mouth and bask in the joy of  good music and great company.

I look forward to more events like these in the future. I’d like to think that it’s also a welcome development for  those who have kids and just need somewhere to go that does not involve running after babies, cautioning teenagers, nor having to worry that your life is losing some excitement.

So getting older isn’t the beginning of the end of your life, it’s just the beginning!

Live it. Love it. Embrace it.

24 Comments on Oh My Goodness! I’m Getting Older and My Life Is About To End
  • Bella October 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm


  • XoXo October 16, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    There is more to life as you grow older and the Lagos social scene especially has a variety to cater for all ages…

    By the way, its walks of life….

  • cathy October 16, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    yeah. in all stages or is it phases of life, just let yourself loose always and go with the flow. you tend to enjoy life that way

  • nems October 16, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Great title, Great Article and Great writer 🙂


  • David October 16, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Atoke, you’re so talented. You should write more.

  • the Wise fool October 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    Hey, are you the one in the first photo?

  • X factor October 16, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    Hmmmnnn… true talk sista

  • Sylvia October 16, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Am not up to 30 yet but the thought of getting old makes me scared and I don’t know why, thanks for putting this article up, gives me relief of some sort.


  • Naveah October 16, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    You decide for yourself how you want your life to unfold, nobody else does! If you find yourself at owambes, na you take your leg reach dere and IF you find yourself rockin’ out at a fab charity event hobnobbing with the creme de la creme of society, dat too na your own decision. I’m 38, married and have my wonderful twins…my husband and I still rock and groove. There is a saying about life begins at 40 but I don’t believe in that nonsense, my life began when I came into this world cuz I came out hollering LOL

  • Sandi October 16, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Wow yes love this piece. I just relocated to Lagos, so I’m not well versed with where to go to listen to music like this or to attend the ‘grown and sexy’ events such as these. Are there jazz clubs and the likes around? Please point me to them. Thanks.

    • myHairmyBeautyNigeria.com October 17, 2012 at 12:50 am

      Hi Sandi, Check out the ZEBRA store/Boutique located at Sinari Daranijo, they always have amazing events there, book readings, yoga, etc, name it, join their mailing list and get informed!

    • R October 17, 2012 at 4:03 am

      BN puts up a post on upcoming events every week, which has a variety of events

  • s.k October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    guess growing older is what alot of people want to eperience, just make sure you remember your God in your youth, when you still possess the strength to dance to skibo.

  • Madam the Madam October 17, 2012 at 12:32 am

    Loove this article, Atoke. I definitely look forward to the big 3-0 next year regardless of whether I am single, or this, or that. It’s a fabulous age so embrace it well. Happy belated birthday 🙂

  • Motunrayo October 17, 2012 at 1:54 am

    I just turned 30 a few weeks ago too and it was as though everything I had been looking for was also waiting for me to turn 30 before showing up. I had anxiety attacks before turning 30 but realized that there was nothing to it after a while. Life is about living each day to the fullest, don’t let anyone tell you what you cannot do. Turning 30 has so far been amazing and i have a new engagement ring on my finger to show for it. 🙂

  • oSinakachi October 17, 2012 at 4:48 am

    Yes o @ s.k. Make una remember to serve God for una youth o no be only worldly good time. Seek God first o he’s the ultimate.

  • HappyChiq October 17, 2012 at 7:46 am

    Lovely write up! I turned 30 over a month ago and did a similar write up on my blog. I think I live in denial and lie to myself about being forever young! (Thanks to Jay-z and Mr Hudson’s brain washing!). Anyways, Check out it out;


  • temitope October 17, 2012 at 8:42 am

    thank you atoke, please help me tell them oooo…..getting older is a part of life and no matter how old you are, you are as young as you feel……i have lots of younger friends who regard age as a big deal and even think 27 / 28 is old already and i just laugh at them and tell them that i’m sure when they start hitting their late 20s, they go to their lawyer and make a will…lolz

  • Aduke October 17, 2012 at 9:06 am

    Luvvv this!…:) Soo nice and refreshing!! 🙂

  • Gyann October 17, 2012 at 11:27 am

    must comment, great piece, great writer!

  • not again October 17, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    BN you guys have come again in scaring young girls….wetin? I will be 30 next year january,I’m nt scared at all,may be because,people say I look 24.(Thank God sha).my luving boyfriend,about 9 yrs relationship now,is still awaiting NYSC,so by ur write up now I should dump him and get married abi? Because by the time he will be done with service before securing a job,I will be close to 34!

  • Kiki N October 17, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    @not again: how you managed to deduce all that from this write-up i simply do not understand. Bella Naija is not responsible for your decisions. I would think the article is more on your side than not, being that it implies that age is just a number. All the best in your life though.

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